I wish I was never born...I know I should return to God but don't know how to

[Margaret1022]

I know that God created me because He loves me. However, I can't help but grief about my own existence - I always wish I never existed, or that I died at a very young age, so that I never have to go through the sad things I've encountered in this life.

I see no hope in the world nor my future. I even think it is better to die young than live longer because look at the world today - the economy is bad, the political environment feels like WW3 is coming, the environment is getting worse, virus is spreading...My home country is getting increasingly hostile to Christianity and I'm seriously afraid. I really think it's better to die young so that I don't have to face the horrible future (I'm 22). My mom who introduced me to God and Jesus decided to believe in another god and started to give me crystals that "changes luck and brings fortune". My dad was a Christian when he was younger but in recent years he have became extremely hostile to Christians and after he learnt that I was baptized he always asks and talk about difficult Christian topics to challenge my faith and try to make me stop going to Church (he have read a lot of Christian books and philosophies so it was really difficult to convince him otherwise because he knows the Bible more than I do). It feels like it is impossible for my parents to return to God and it makes me guilty to want to give up.

I also struggles to be moved by sermons. Due to past and ongoing family issues, I learnt to mute my emotions so that I wouldn't be heartbroken. As a result I lost most of my ability to feel emotions. Most of the time I don't have any emotions at all. I analyze different situations and pretend that I'm happy/sad/empathetic because I know it is the appropriate emotion at that time, when I honestly feel nothing. This makes me question the point of going to Church and listening to sermon sometimes because they are like lectures to me and I just can't "connect" or feel repentance or faith like others do. Sometimes I doubt if I really do have faith because honestly all I feel in my heart are emptiness and void and I feel nothing when I repent.(I do sincerely acknowledge I have sinned but again I feel nothing when praying for forgiveness). This makes me worried that I'm just a pretend believer, that I'm not truely repenting, and therefore not forgiven. I have to admit a large part why I believe in God is because I don't want to go to hell, but I don't know how to change this mindset.

Surely God would have known all these pain I have to endure and surely He would know I wish I never existed - Why did He still create me? I may have already killed myself or decided not to care for my health anymore (so that I could die soon) years ago if I didn't believe that I would be sent straight to hell if I suicide. This also makes me feel sad and sometimes angry - Life is like a gift that I didn't want, yet I can't throw it away because it would be ungrateful and I would face horrible consequences. I know I can't do anything about it because I was already born, but I just can't stop being sad about the fact that I had to be born.

I don't know what to do - I strayed away from God early last year after some family crisis which broke me apart (This happened a year after I became a believer and started to grow spiritually). I became angry to God, went back to sinning and eventually went to the point where I was seriously considering suicide. Deep down I know I SHOULD go back to God but mentally I'm so exhausted and tired and is not at all motivated to even pray. What can I do? I did try to return to God several times (by praying or reading the Bible) but again the SEVERE feeling of exhaustion from within prevents me from getting close to God again. The thought of praying instantly makes me mentally exhausted. Aside from that I guess my anger towards God is also one of the factors pushing me away.

Any advice or insight is appreciated. I just can't see a way out myself. Not sure if this topic is too sensitive if so someone please guide me to the right forum to post? Or delete this post. Thank you!

 

[joshua 1 9]

I see no hope in the world nor my future.

You are a soldier in the army of God. God put you here to be a part of the redemption and restoration of this world according to His plan and purpose. There will be a new heaven and a new earth and if you want to be a part of that then God wants to use you. Jesus said to pray: Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Yes it would be nice to go back to Heaven, to sit down and do nothing. But we have to earn our way in this life. We have to do our part.

Look at the beginning of the Bible, in the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Today they are divided. God wants them restored and united. He wrote the book of your life before you were even born. Every chapter and every verse. (Psalm 139:16) You need to become the person God created you to be. You have to do your part and your fair share. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11)

Maybe it would be nice to do nothing and let God do everything for us. But He expects us to do something to make this world a better place. He expects us to participate and do our fair share. It is good that you grieve over the fallen condition that this world is in. Now you need to get out and be productive and do something to make this world a better place to live. Start off small, with something little and then gradually you can do more and more. Never despise the day of small beginnings.

 

[“Paisios”]

I know that God created me because He loves me. However, I can't help but grief about my own existence - I always wish I never existed, or that I died at a very young age, so that I never have to go through the sad things I've encountered in this life.

I see no hope in the world nor my future. I even think it is better to die young than live longer because look at the world today - the economy is bad, the political environment feels like WW3 is coming, the environment is getting worse, virus is spreading...My home country is getting increasingly hostile to Christianity and I'm seriously afraid. I really think it's better to die young so that I don't have to face the horrible future (I'm 22). My mom who introduced me to God and Jesus decided to believe in another god and started to give me crystals that "changes luck and brings fortune". My dad was a Christian when he was younger but in recent years he have became extremely hostile to Christians and after he learnt that I was baptized he always asks and talk about difficult Christian topics to challenge my faith and try to make me stop going to Church (he have read a lot of Christian books and philosophies so it was really difficult to convince him otherwise because he knows the Bible more than I do). It feels like it is impossible for my parents to return to God and it makes me guilty to want to give up.

I also struggles to be moved by sermons. Due to past and ongoing family issues, I learnt to mute my emotions so that I wouldn't be heartbroken. As a result I lost most of my ability to feel emotions. Most of the time I don't have any emotions at all. I analyze different situations and pretend that I'm happy/sad/empathetic because I know it is the appropriate emotion at that time, when I honestly feel nothing. This makes me question the point of going to Church and listening to sermon sometimes because they are like lectures to me and I just can't "connect" or feel repentance or faith like others do. Sometimes I doubt if I really do have faith because honestly all I feel in my heart are emptiness and void and I feel nothing when I repent.(I do sincerely acknowledge I have sinned but again I feel nothing when praying for forgiveness). This makes me worried that I'm just a pretend believer, that I'm not truely repenting, and therefore not forgiven. I have to admit a large part why I believe in God is because I don't want to go to hell, but I don't know how to change this mindset.

Surely God would have known all these pain I have to endure and surely He would know I wish I never existed - Why did He still create me? I may have already killed myself or decided not to care for my health anymore (so that I could die soon) years ago if I didn't believe that I would be sent straight to hell if I suicide. This also makes me feel sad and sometimes angry - Life is like a gift that I didn't want, yet I can't throw it away because it would be ungrateful and I would face horrible consequences. I know I can't do anything about it because I was already born, but I just can't stop being sad about the fact that I had to be born.

I don't know what to do - I strayed away from God early last year after some family crisis which broke me apart (This happened a year after I became a believer and started to grow spiritually). I became angry to God, went back to sinning and eventually went to the point where I was seriously considering suicide. Deep down I know I SHOULD go back to God but mentally I'm so exhausted and tired and is not at all motivated to even pray. What can I do? I did try to return to God several times (by praying or reading the Bible) but again the SEVERE feeling of exhaustion from within prevents me from getting close to God again. The thought of praying instantly makes me mentally exhausted. Aside from that I guess my anger towards God is also one of the factors pushing me away.

Any advice or insight is appreciated. I just can't see a way out myself. Not sure if this topic is too sensitive if so someone please guide me to the right forum to post? Or delete this post. Thank you!

I’m not wise enough to give you any advice, and I have my own struggles. But I want you to know that you are not alone. Many of your struggles seem similar to those that I faced when I was younger (at least the spiritual aspects - I would think our physical circumstances are very different). I still face times of despair and depression, and most of the time have great difficulty with my emotions (and can understand having them shut down to the point of not feeling them), though slowly I think it is getting better.

But as far as not feeling God, I am learning that my relationship with God (and more importantly His love for me) is not dependent on my feelings about it. Hard to learn, harder to keep in mind, and harder still to believe in the face of depression and despair, but true.

With my lack of true repentance, I daily pray,

“I have no sincere repentance, I have no true compunction, I have no consoling tears to lead me as a child of God to my spiritual inheritance. My mind has been darkened through worldly passions. I cannot look up to You in grieving remorse. I cannot warm myself with tears of love for You. But, Lord Jesus Christ, the treasury of blessings, grant me thorough repentance and a diligent heart to seek You. Grant me Your grace and renew in me the form of Your image. I have forsaken You; but, Lord, do not forsake me.”
[Excerpt From My Orthodox Prayer Book, Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America
‎My Orthodox Prayer Book
This material may be protected by copyright.]

I will pray for you.

 

[createdtoworship]

I know that God created me because He loves me. However, I can't help but grief about my own existence - I always wish I never existed, or that I died at a very young age, so that I never have to go through the sad things I've encountered in this life.

I see no hope in the world nor my future. I even think it is better to die young than live longer because look at the world today - the economy is bad, the political environment feels like WW3 is coming, the environment is getting worse, virus is spreading...My home country is getting increasingly hostile to Christianity and I'm seriously afraid. I really think it's better to die young so that I don't have to face the horrible future (I'm 22). My mom who introduced me to God and Jesus decided to believe in another god and started to give me crystals that "changes luck and brings fortune". My dad was a Christian when he was younger but in recent years he have became extremely hostile to Christians and after he learnt that I was baptized he always asks and talk about difficult Christian topics to challenge my faith and try to make me stop going to Church (he have read a lot of Christian books and philosophies so it was really difficult to convince him otherwise because he knows the Bible more than I do). It feels like it is impossible for my parents to return to God and it makes me guilty to want to give up.

I also struggles to be moved by sermons. Due to past and ongoing family issues, I learnt to mute my emotions so that I wouldn't be heartbroken. As a result I lost most of my ability to feel emotions. Most of the time I don't have any emotions at all. I analyze different situations and pretend that I'm happy/sad/empathetic because I know it is the appropriate emotion at that time, when I honestly feel nothing. This makes me question the point of going to Church and listening to sermon sometimes because they are like lectures to me and I just can't "connect" or feel repentance or faith like others do. Sometimes I doubt if I really do have faith because honestly all I feel in my heart are emptiness and void and I feel nothing when I repent.(I do sincerely acknowledge I have sinned but again I feel nothing when praying for forgiveness). This makes me worried that I'm just a pretend believer, that I'm not truely repenting, and therefore not forgiven. I have to admit a large part why I believe in God is because I don't want to go to hell, but I don't know how to change this mindset.

Surely God would have known all these pain I have to endure and surely He would know I wish I never existed - Why did He still create me? I may have already killed myself or decided not to care for my health anymore (so that I could die soon) years ago if I didn't believe that I would be sent straight to hell if I suicide. This also makes me feel sad and sometimes angry - Life is like a gift that I didn't want, yet I can't throw it away because it would be ungrateful and I would face horrible consequences. I know I can't do anything about it because I was already born, but I just can't stop being sad about the fact that I had to be born.

I don't know what to do - I strayed away from God early last year after some family crisis which broke me apart (This happened a year after I became a believer and started to grow spiritually). I became angry to God, went back to sinning and eventually went to the point where I was seriously considering suicide. Deep down I know I SHOULD go back to God but mentally I'm so exhausted and tired and is not at all motivated to even pray. What can I do? I did try to return to God several times (by praying or reading the Bible) but again the SEVERE feeling of exhaustion from within prevents me from getting close to God again. The thought of praying instantly makes me mentally exhausted. Aside from that I guess my anger towards God is also one of the factors pushing me away.

Any advice or insight is appreciated. I just can't see a way out myself. Not sure if this topic is too sensitive if so someone please guide me to the right forum to post? Or delete this post. Thank you!

First of all dear sister, Jesus loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. There is always a purpose for the hardship we go through. I lost both my parents at a young age, I started to go to church in highschool from a girlfriend bringing me to church, after she was gone I was still going. I went because of the love I felt at church. They didn't judge me for my past or my color, or my styles, but embraced me. Then later in life during the last recession I lost my job. I had three children and a wife and a mother in law to feed. And I think at that time I had three other nieces and in laws living with me. So I basically had to feed nine mouths. And I was unemployed. So I went through a nervous breakdown. I started hearing voices. I started to think my children were robots, and that the government was listening into my thoughts. I thought everyone could talk to me through codes and symbols. But anyway, I was paranoid. But the Lord healed me. That is what I wanted to say. My doctor said I would never work again. And not only have I worked but I have worked at the same job for the last eight and a half years since the last recession and since I was healed. I don't know why God healed me or allowed me to go through those hard times. I still hear voices every once in a while, but I know the real ones from my imagination now. Like I said He healed me 100 percent, but He did so in a way that I would not forget. But I always questioned why God allowed me to have a nervous breakdown. I was so completely nervous during my breakdown that I actually became homosexual, or bisexual rather, for about a year. I was still married and did not act on those thoughts, but they were there, and they were sexual thoughts for the same sex. But that was healed too, all of this healed over about a year period. And I always wondered why God allowed me to be so nervous, and it woudl give me a nervous tick in my leg. I was so nervous all the time that I had a pain in my leg all the time, when ever I got nervous, it would turn to physical pain. But now I know why I went through all of that. I can attest to the power of the gospel over anxiety and over homosexuality. I can even attest to the miraculous. There were two schizophrenics on this forum over the past month that were suicidal. And I was able to share my testimony with them, one of them just a few minutes ago. And Who knows if that testimony were to save their life? And so I say all of this to you to tell you to keep fighting. There is a reason for the madness. You may have been like me ten years ago, and it may take another ten years for you to realize the reason. It may take twenty or thirty years, but you will know. And you know what, I would not change a single event in my life. The financial problems I went through allowed me to start investing, and now I encourage investors all over the world to invest in a Godly way. To pray over business decisions and to take God's word to heart over all things. Money, family, and private. I hope this encourages you sister. We are not out of financial trouble but this year I have overcome several addictions, and have overcome incredible odds and sins and come here to declare the power of the gospel over your life. Things are not perfect, we still have trials. But all our bills are paid. And two of the people that lived with me ten years ago, we were able to help feed them so they could go to college, and now they have jobs. So all those hardships are becoming fruitful. Now you are planting see, one day you will see those seeds germinate, and their will be fruit everywhere. some 60 some 100 times.

 

[joshua 1 9]

I hope this encourages you

We have a choice in life. We can live a life of victory as an overcomer. Or we can live a life of defeat. God wants to encourage us that can live that life of victory as an overcomer. I do not know why He tests us but He does and we are told that the reward is great for those who pass the test and come out a winner in life.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

I know that God created me because He loves me. However, I can't help but grief about my own existence - I always wish I never existed, or that I died at a very young age, so that I never have to go through the sad things I've encountered in this life.

I see no hope in the world nor my future. I even think it is better to die young than live longer because look at the world today - the economy is bad, the political environment feels like WW3 is coming, the environment is getting worse, virus is spreading...My home country is getting increasingly hostile to Christianity and I'm seriously afraid. I really think it's better to die young so that I don't have to face the horrible future (I'm 22). My mom who introduced me to God and Jesus decided to believe in another god and started to give me crystals that "changes luck and brings fortune". My dad was a Christian when he was younger but in recent years he have became extremely hostile to Christians and after he learnt that I was baptized he always asks and talk about difficult Christian topics to challenge my faith and try to make me stop going to Church (he have read a lot of Christian books and philosophies so it was really difficult to convince him otherwise because he knows the Bible more than I do). It feels like it is impossible for my parents to return to God and it makes me guilty to want to give up.

I also struggles to be moved by sermons. Due to past and ongoing family issues, I learnt to mute my emotions so that I wouldn't be heartbroken. As a result I lost most of my ability to feel emotions. Most of the time I don't have any emotions at all. I analyze different situations and pretend that I'm happy/sad/empathetic because I know it is the appropriate emotion at that time, when I honestly feel nothing. This makes me question the point of going to Church and listening to sermon sometimes because they are like lectures to me and I just can't "connect" or feel repentance or faith like others do. Sometimes I doubt if I really do have faith because honestly all I feel in my heart are emptiness and void and I feel nothing when I repent.(I do sincerely acknowledge I have sinned but again I feel nothing when praying for forgiveness). This makes me worried that I'm just a pretend believer, that I'm not truely repenting, and therefore not forgiven. I have to admit a large part why I believe in God is because I don't want to go to hell, but I don't know how to change this mindset.

Surely God would have known all these pain I have to endure and surely He would know I wish I never existed - Why did He still create me? I may have already killed myself or decided not to care for my health anymore (so that I could die soon) years ago if I didn't believe that I would be sent straight to hell if I suicide. This also makes me feel sad and sometimes angry - Life is like a gift that I didn't want, yet I can't throw it away because it would be ungrateful and I would face horrible consequences. I know I can't do anything about it because I was already born, but I just can't stop being sad about the fact that I had to be born.

I don't know what to do - I strayed away from God early last year after some family crisis which broke me apart (This happened a year after I became a believer and started to grow spiritually). I became angry to God, went back to sinning and eventually went to the point where I was seriously considering suicide. Deep down I know I SHOULD go back to God but mentally I'm so exhausted and tired and is not at all motivated to even pray. What can I do? I did try to return to God several times (by praying or reading the Bible) but again the SEVERE feeling of exhaustion from within prevents me from getting close to God again. The thought of praying instantly makes me mentally exhausted. Aside from that I guess my anger towards God is also one of the factors pushing me away.

Any advice or insight is appreciated. I just can't see a way out myself. Not sure if this topic is too sensitive if so someone please guide me to the right forum to post? Or delete this post. Thank you!

It's a struggle down here
keep up the good fight
Jesus said, that we would have troubles.
M-Bob

 

[Norbert L]

It's like we're at the Red Sea and God isn't clearing the path forward.

I have similar thoughts about not being born at times of, what seems like overwhelming severe difficulty. What helps is you have to be totally convinced that Jesus is a very great ruler and He knows what is happening.

You might want to think about 1 Peter 4:12

 

[Margaret1022]

God put you here to be a part of the redemption and restoration of this world according to His plan and purpose.

“I have no sincere repentance, I have no true compunction, I have no consoling tears to lead me as a child of God to my spiritual inheritance. My mind has been darkened through worldly passions. I cannot look up to You in grieving remorse. I cannot warm myself with tears of love for You. But, Lord Jesus Christ, the treasury of blessings, grant me thorough repentance and a diligent heart to seek You. Grant me Your grace and renew in me the form of Your image. I have forsaken You; but, Lord, do not forsake me.”

There is a reason for the madness.

God wants to encourage us that can live that life of victory as an overcomer

keep up the good fight

You might want to think about 1 Peter 4:12

Thank you all for your replies and testimony, really helped me to make more sense of my own life and encouraged me. Hopefully I could become strong again to stand up and fight my battles

 

[Albion]

Margaret, it sounds like you might gain a fresh perspective if you: 1] did not live with your parents (I don't know how old you are or how soon this could happen), and you 2] chose a different Christian church.

Don't despair just yet.

 

[BrotherD]

I know that God created me because He loves me. However, I can't help but grief about my own existence - I always wish I never existed, or that I died at a very young age, so that I never have to go through the sad things I've encountered in this life.

I see no hope in the world nor my future. I even think it is better to die young than live longer because look at the world today - the economy is bad, the political environment feels like WW3 is coming, the environment is getting worse, virus is spreading...My home country is getting increasingly hostile to Christianity and I'm seriously afraid. I really think it's better to die young so that I don't have to face the horrible future (I'm 22). My mom who introduced me to God and Jesus decided to believe in another god and started to give me crystals that "changes luck and brings fortune". My dad was a Christian when he was younger but in recent years he have became extremely hostile to Christians and after he learnt that I was baptized he always asks and talk about difficult Christian topics to challenge my faith and try to make me stop going to Church (he have read a lot of Christian books and philosophies so it was really difficult to convince him otherwise because he knows the Bible more than I do). It feels like it is impossible for my parents to return to God and it makes me guilty to want to give up.

I also struggles to be moved by sermons. Due to past and ongoing family issues, I learnt to mute my emotions so that I wouldn't be heartbroken. As a result I lost most of my ability to feel emotions. Most of the time I don't have any emotions at all. I analyze different situations and pretend that I'm happy/sad/empathetic because I know it is the appropriate emotion at that time, when I honestly feel nothing. This makes me question the point of going to Church and listening to sermon sometimes because they are like lectures to me and I just can't "connect" or feel repentance or faith like others do. Sometimes I doubt if I really do have faith because honestly all I feel in my heart are emptiness and void and I feel nothing when I repent.(I do sincerely acknowledge I have sinned but again I feel nothing when praying for forgiveness). This makes me worried that I'm just a pretend believer, that I'm not truely repenting, and therefore not forgiven. I have to admit a large part why I believe in God is because I don't want to go to hell, but I don't know how to change this mindset.

Surely God would have known all these pain I have to endure and surely He would know I wish I never existed - Why did He still create me? I may have already killed myself or decided not to care for my health anymore (so that I could die soon) years ago if I didn't believe that I would be sent straight to hell if I suicide. This also makes me feel sad and sometimes angry - Life is like a gift that I didn't want, yet I can't throw it away because it would be ungrateful and I would face horrible consequences. I know I can't do anything about it because I was already born, but I just can't stop being sad about the fact that I had to be born.

I don't know what to do - I strayed away from God early last year after some family crisis which broke me apart (This happened a year after I became a believer and started to grow spiritually). I became angry to God, went back to sinning and eventually went to the point where I was seriously considering suicide. Deep down I know I SHOULD go back to God but mentally I'm so exhausted and tired and is not at all motivated to even pray. What can I do? I did try to return to God several times (by praying or reading the Bible) but again the SEVERE feeling of exhaustion from within prevents me from getting close to God again. The thought of praying instantly makes me mentally exhausted. Aside from that I guess my anger towards God is also one of the factors pushing me away.

Any advice or insight is appreciated. I just can't see a way out myself. Not sure if this topic is too sensitive if so someone please guide me to the right forum to post? Or delete this post. Thank you!

Remeber Jesus defeated death and he is always there to help us whenever we need him.

 

[Margaret1022]

Margaret, it sounds like you might gain a fresh perspective if you: 1] did not live with your parents (I don't know how old you are or how soon this could happen), and you 2] chose a different Christian church.

Don't despair just yet.

I'm actually studying overseas so I'm not with my parents (which allowed me a great degree of freedom to choose to go to Church) but when I'm back to home during holidays, I would not go to Church anymore and I couldn't find a local church in my home country to regularly go to ): I guess that's another issue I'm facing but less severe because a new semester is starting soon and I won't go back home until next year. Btw why a different Christian church?

 

[Steve97]

I am NOT a mental health professional but, based on your post, you may be suffering from depression. I suggest you consult with a professional and seek treatment. Depression is not uncommon in the scriptures and we are fortunate to have enough knowledge in our culture to provide effective treatment. Seek a church that will be supportive in addition and please keep us informed because we care about you. Praying for you.

 

[Albion]

Btw why a different Christian church?

I have heard similar laments from a number of other people, and I know that many of them benefitted from changing congregations.

We don't like to think that any Christian church might not be warm, welcoming (that's a common complaint) AND ALSO uplifting in the area of the sermon topics, the doctrines that are stressed, and so forth. But it is true that different denominations, and even different congregations within a single denomination, can be radically different when it comes to mood, temperament, and so on.

One stresses the love of God, but the next is all fire and brimstone and warnings about hell. One is controlling of its members, the next is not. And so on.

 

[Margaret1022]

I am NOT a mental health professional but, based on your post, you may be suffering from depression. I suggest you consult with a professional and seek treatment. Depression is not uncommon in the scriptures and we are fortunate to have enough knowledge in our culture to provide effective treatment. Seek a church that will be supportive in addition and please keep us informed because we care about you. Praying for you.

Thank you..and you are absolutely right. I've been seeing a counselor and she said I may be mild to moderately depressed though I'm not absolutely sure if I have done the tests correctly.

 

[createdtoworship]

I'm actually studying overseas so I'm not with my parents (which allowed me a great degree of freedom to choose to go to Church) but when I'm back to home during holidays, I would not go to Church anymore and I couldn't find a local church in my home country to regularly go to ): I guess that's another issue I'm facing but less severe because a new semester is starting soon and I won't go back home until next year. Btw why a different Christian church?

sweety go where your being fed. IF you love your church stay there. I go to a church that teaches through the bible every seven years. That is the one thing that makes our church stick out. But many churches are good even if they don't do that. If you feel you NEED to find a new church then do so. But don't fret over it. God will guide you where you ultimately need to be. God's body is a living organism you may find comfort in the strangest places among God's body.

 

[Margaret1022]

I have heard similar laments from a number of other people, and I know that many of them benefitted from changing congregations.

We don't like to think that every Christian church might not be warm, welcoming (that's a common complaint) AND ALSO uplifting in the area of the sermon topics, the doctrines that are stressed, and so forth. But it is true that different denominations, and even different congregations within a single denomination, can be radically different when it comes to mood, temperament, and so on.

One stresses the love of God, but the next is all fire and brimstone and warnings about hell. One is controlling of its members, the next is not. And so on.

Makes sense. Regarding different congregations - I am often confused why there are so many congregations and the major fear I have when looking for a church to go to, would be unknowingly attending a church that is actually a cult that twisted the meaning of the Scriptures and is leading its members to ruin instead of salvation. What do you think? This question might be more appropriate in the theory discussions or debates so feel free not to reply if it's inappropriate

 

[createdtoworship]

Thank you..and you are absolutely right. I've been seeing a counselor and she said I may be mild to moderately depressed though I'm not absolutely sure if I have done the tests correctly.

I think when when the enemy can get us focused on ourselves, then we can get depressed. If we focus our view on others, and on Christ. There is no depression there. Because self will, when it is killed, desires nothing for itself. Depression is always from the victim mentality, a self will that is crucified with Christ, does not have a self will. But it is so easy like paul to walk on water for a second, then to focus on the fact, "hey what I am I doing walking on the water, I am not God" and start to sink our perspectives back in to depressive mindsets. So it's all about Christ. There is no medicine that can cure depression that is true. But certain medicine can relax you and make you feel better physically. They cannot actually fix the things that depress you, they simply make you physically feel a little better. And there is no stigma in seeing a psychiatrist if that is what you need. Or a counselor. I don't think modern psychology helps anyone long term. Freudian views are relatively humanistic, while the Bible is much better geered in dealing with real life.

 

[Margaret1022]

sweety go where your being fed. IF you love your church stay there. I go to a church that teaches through the bible every seven years. That is the one thing that makes our church stick out. But many churches are good even if they don't do that. If you feel you NEED to find a new church then do so. But don't fret over it. God will guide you where you ultimately need to be. God's body is a living organism you may find comfort in the strangest places among God's body.

Thank you! I do receive many support from my church community so I don't plan to leave it for now...But I would eventually have to look for a church back in my home country so hopefully God will guide me to one that is appropriate

 

[createdtoworship]

Thank you! I do receive many support from my church community so I don't plan to leave it for now...But I would eventually have to look for a church back in my home country so hopefully God will guide me to one that is appropriate

I have no doubt He will. Many people love to plug their own denominations, but that is not what it's about. I don't even put my denomination on my profile. Because that just causes more division. If christians can find something to divide over, they will. Which church to go to, who to vote for, what doctrines are more important, if the rapture is true, which version of the bible to read. All that stuff is important, but no one should "divide" over that. Christ's body should be uniting. When does the right a arm say to the left arm, "hey you are a little too left sided for me, you don't belong in the body?' Don't worry about what church to go to. God is pretty good about guiding us to the right spot.

 

[Albion]

Makes sense. Regarding different congregations - I am often confused why there are so many congregations and the major fear I have when looking for a church to go to, would be unknowingly attending a church that is actually a cult that twisted the meaning of the Scriptures and is leading its members to ruin instead of salvation. What do you think? This question might be more appropriate in the theory discussions or debates so feel free not to reply if it's inappropriate

It's not easy to cover everything relating to that issue in a few words, and one reason is that I am not familiar with all the choices that exist in another country. However, avoiding a cult, a real cult, should not be too difficult. Stick with the longstanding denominations we all know--Catholic, Anglican, Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, etc., check the websites of congregations that you might consider visiting (the discussion of beliefs and so on can often tell the inquirer a lot in a few minutes), and also read some reference works that compare denominations.

Still in all, there are variances between congregations of a single denomination and I don't even know your personal beliefs on any of the usual matters that differentiate the Christian denominations. I mainly want to suggest the idea to you of looking around.

If you have specific questions that aren't appropriate for this thread, you can start a "Conversation" (personal message) with me.