I want to feel like this again....

[bluegreysky]

Last night, I had a dream that my husband had to go on some sort of a trip for 3 months. He left out of the tiny municipal airport in our town. Because it was a dream, I was literally able to blink and 3 months had gone by and his plane was coming in. He got off the plane and 3 months of longing made us really really overjoyed to see each other.
It was a realistic dream where I could actually feel his warm body hugging me.

Do you know that feeling? you're about to be re-united with someone you haven't seen in a long time that you want to see... that heart pouding, nervous excitement, adrenaline rush, grinning ear-to-ear feeling?
It was real in my dream.
Luckily waking up didn't crush me because he was right there for real... he is my husband after all.

But in my waking, real life, I haven't had that feeling in a long, long time.
Lately I'm going through a huge struggle with work and the fear that I could have to find another job...all while my husband struggles with the veterans affairs and might lose some of his money.
My depression is getting intense. His is too.
Somehow my mind created a scenario in my dream that gave me a pure feeling of ecstasy.
And it comes from more than just reuniting with a loved one.
It can come from ANY happy ending to any situation that had been hard or longsuffering in some way.... like say... if a certain job decides they're NOT going to fire you after all?

I want to feel this way again. I want to feel it for days and days... high on life. high on happiness. high on everything turning out ok and being blessed.

 

[faroukfarouk]

The Scriptures can be very encouraging; and they are founded on truth. John 14.1-27 contains some very encouraging and comforting thoughts, for example, centred on the Person of the Lord Jesus.

Telling someone else why the Lord has blessed you can also bring encouragement. (Are any of your tattoos faith based, for example; and if so, it can be personally encouraging when a faith based tattoo gives opportunity for testimony.)

 

[bluegreysky]

The Scriptures can be very encouraging; and they are founded on truth. John 14.1-27 contains some very encouraging and comforting thoughts, for example, centred on the Person of the Lord Jesus.

Telling someone else why the Lord has blessed you can also bring encouragement. (Are any of your tattoos faith based, for example; and if so, it can be personally encouraging when a faith based tattoo gives opportunity for testimony.)

dude, I don't that THAT many.One chinese kanji says "Faith" yesand the lotus flower, my first tat, represents coming out shining through hard times. I got it after I finally was starting to get over the intense downspiral from my first love falling apart in college, but now I just think of it as representing my struggle with depression. The lotus is an ugly brown seed in the mud at the bottom of the pond, and then it grows up towards the surface and blossoms on top. I hope to do that when all the struggles I have had with depression, anxiety and my faith are all said and done.

 

[twnsrkr]

Well a lot of life is routine. Its not exciting, edgy, or new. New stuff is what gives you that rush, buying something new, seeing someone you haven't for a long time, going to a new place, etc. Your husband isn't there to provide you with a rush, but to support, lead, help, cherish, love, and work with you. There are certainly exciting times in marriage, but you can't expect it to be like that all the time. A lot of marriage is just every day life.

Now, if your just longing for some stability in your life, then that is something you can reasonably expect and pursue. In which case I think you aught to invest in yourself by gaining skills. That way you can get a job that can't be done by any random joe, and thus gain more job security.

Working through your guys internal problems (depression, PTSD, etc) with your husband would also be a good idea. Based on some of your previous posts I remember, you might benefit from reading some marriage books to help with communication. Love & Respect is one you might find helpful.