I' totally Lost

[Cristiano]

I am not trying to be obstinate or deceitful. I am trying to articulate my feelings. I wish I did not have all these questions, but this is the way my brain works. Why is it that I don't get to have companionship, Love and other nice things, but others do? Why is life tedious for some and not for others? That aspect for me , makes no sense. If you had a child, would you not take care of that child? Would you condemn that child for eternity? This is what is driving me nuts. It seems illogical. Why is it that I see God as someone who is going to punish me for thin gs beyond my control? If it is true that one is born gay, then they did not choose ones feelings. These are the thoughts that I am having issues with.

This is where we begin healing--dealing with the questions and frustrations we have. God wants us to question and yell at Him. He can handle it... No one said that you cannot have companionship, love and "other nice things", and God doesn't say that either.
But I will say, that all God guarantees for us is provision and meeting our physical needs (NOT including sexual needs) throughout our life and guaranteeing our eternity. That's all we need!

And you ARE God's child, and he IS taking care of you. As a parent, we tell our children not to touch the hot stove or they will get burned (and they still want to touch it!). As a parent, we tell our children to look both ways before they cross the street (and they get distracted and sometimes don't look!). As a parent, we tell our children not to do drugs (and sometimes they give in to peer pressure and experiment!).

God does the same with us. It doesn't mean the child still doesn't WANT to do those things or that he wasn't born with some kind of curiosity for those things, but we learn as we grow older that our parents are just looking our for our well-being, even though we may not have understood it at the time. God is the same way with us. We may not understand why we have been given this burden, but God's grace is sufficient. He's the God of the universe! He can provide for ANY need that we have. To say that we've been given a "worse" burden than others begins to seem selfish. Instead, we should be saying, "I've been given this cross to bear and I will do it unto death to honor my Lord and Savior, for it's the very LEAST I can do, even though I don't understand it."

The problem may be that our concept of what we "need" may not be in our best interest. Our concept of companionship, love, and "other nice" things might not be the same as God's... And that is this case. I'd be lying if I told you I was not worried about living alone the rest of my life. But then I realize that God really is all we need when we get right down to it. We must be content with our lot in life and praise him for knowing what he is doing, while we sit confused sometimes.

Think about this: Jesus experienced every thought and temptation that anyone has ever had, but still did not sin. That's why we can rely on him to save us, because only he has dominion over those things. That means, Christ had to at least experience same sex attraction once in his life in order to be our intercessor. If we are open to his plan and his design for our lives, I'm sure he will honor that according to his will, so don't give up hope for all those things you listed. I hope you read all of my last post because it addressed some of the questions you still mention. Again, we are born will the inclination to sin, everyone is. So we are all "born this way." That doesn't make it okay. Please understand that I have been and go through the same frustrations and questions and doubts about who I am as a Christian man and reconciling my attractions back to God. It is hard, but remember our struggle fails in comparison to that which Christ went through for each one of us before he died a horrible, painful death to take our place.
Peace and may God bless you today!

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

This is where we begin healing--dealing with the questions and frustrations we have. God wants us to question and yell at Him. He can handle it... No one said that you cannot have companionship, love and "other nice things", and God doesn't say that either.
But I will say, that all God guarantees for us is provision and meeting our physical needs (NOT including sexual needs) throughout our life and guaranteeing our eternity. That's all we need!

And you ARE God's child, and he IS taking care of you. As a parent, we tell our children not to touch the hot stove or they will get burned (and they still want to touch it!). As a parent, we tell our children to look both ways before they cross the street (and they get distracted and sometimes don't look!). As a parent, we tell our children not to do drugs (and sometimes they give in to peer pressure and experiment!).

God does the same with us. It doesn't mean the child still doesn't WANT to do those things or that he wasn't born with some kind of curiosity for those things, but we learn as we grow older that our parents are just looking our for our well-being, even though we may not have understood it at the time. God is the same way with us. We may not understand why we have been given this burden, but God's grace is sufficient. He's the God of the universe! He can provide for ANY need that we have. To say that we've been given a "worse" burden than others begins to seem selfish. Instead, we should be saying, "I've been given this cross to bear and I will do it unto death to honor my Lord and Savior, for it's the very LEAST I can do, even though I don't understand it."

The problem may be that our concept of what we "need" may not be in our best interest. Our concept of companionship, love, and "other nice" things might not be the same as God's... And that is this case. I'd be lying if I told you I was not worried about living alone the rest of my life. But then I realize that God really is all we need when we get right down to it. We must be content with our lot in life and praise him for knowing what he is doing, while we sit confused sometimes.

Think about this: Jesus experienced every thought and temptation that anyone has ever had, but still did not sin. That's why we can rely on him to save us, because only he has dominion over those things. That means, Christ had to at least experience same sex attraction once in his life in order to be our intercessor. If we are open to his plan and his design for our lives, I'm sure he will honor that according to his will, so don't give up hope for all those things you listed. I hope you read all of my last post because it addressed some of the questions you still mention. Again, we are born will the inclination to sin, everyone is. So we are all "born this way." That doesn't make it okay. Please understand that I have been and go through the same frustrations and questions and doubts about who I am as a Christian man and reconciling my attractions back to God. It is hard, but remember our struggle fails in comparison to that which Christ went through for each one of us before he died a horrible, painful death to take our place.
Peace and may God bless you today!

Hey Christiano: I have read your posts, I do see your point of view. Believe me , I am glad for your faith. I just find for me it is difficult to know or trust God. I have never met or heard from him. I had a period where I thought I was starting to know him, I saw some good things . But I was always deeply lonley and felt like I was lacking something. I always felt and still do that I am waiting to have an adult life. It is like "when does my life begin" I have returned to school, because I was downsized in my career, and it kills me when i see the younger people in school, excited that they are going to this party or they have a date. I Miss that!!! I often remember my younger brother who passed away from drugs and alcohol, he would say " If I had to do it over, I wouldn't" meaning life, I am worried that I am starting to feel this way. I used to be so full of life. I have this bad feeling that if my brother died all alone, why won't the same happen to me? was God there when he laid down to sleep and never woke up? Same with my Mother, she died a brutal death of ahlzheimers, My youngest brother passed on before them all from Aids. So if they all died as such, what chance do i have? Was God watching? If so where was he? I keep thinking, he is going to do something bad to me.

 

[Cristiano]

Hey Christiano: I have read your posts, I do see your point of view. Believe me , I am glad for your faith. I just find for me it is difficult to know or trust God. I have never met or heard from him. I had a period where I thought I was starting to know him, I saw some good things . But I was always deeply lonley and felt like I was lacking something. I always felt and still do that I am waiting to have an adult life. It is like "when does my life begin" I have returned to school, because I was downsized in my career, and it kills me when i see the younger people in school, excited that they are going to this party or they have a date. I Miss that!!! I often remember my younger brother who passed away from drugs and alcohol, he would say " If I had to do it over, I wouldn't" meaning life, I am worried that I am starting to feel this way. I used to be so full of life. I have this bad feeling that if my brother died all alone, why won't the same happen to me? was God there when he laid down to sleep and never woke up? Same with my Mother, she died a brutal death of ahlzheimers, My youngest brother passed on before them all from Aids. So if they all died as such, what chance do i have? Was God watching? If so where was he? I keep thinking, he is going to do something bad to me.

Hey brother, I am sending you a PM so we can talk. Hope to hear from you.