Jennifer615... Thank you so much. I'm glad your back and hopefully you had a good time. Please keep praying (especially for my patience)...MichaelJennifer615 said:
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I can honestly say that my husband is really trying to do better...We have good days, and we've had bad days...The only person I can change is myself...God's been dealing with me on forgiveness...
Colossians 3:12,13 "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, you also must do."
OUCH....
Colossians 3:12,13 "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, you also must do."
OUCH....
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I'm not sure I understand why you do this, BA... You are bringing this thread to the top, but you don't have any input about the advice you've been given? I'm confused.... ????brokenarrow said:
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B
brokenarrow
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"..." I am just letting you know I am reading your posts...
"advice"???... or inquisition?? lol.... I think you are wanting me to recant! lol
From my very first post I have confessed my "neglect"... and no one has told me anything in here that I didn't already know from the word about the requirements of a husband, but there has also been a lot of "personal opinion" that has no wordly foundation whatsoever... just wild speculation, accusation and criticism.
When I responded to those I just became defensive and made myself out to be someone that I am not. There are just some things that no matter how right you may be... there is no argument that does anything except to make you look the worse for making it.
For example if you were accused of child abuse for spanking your child... and now because the accusation was made, there is nothing that you are going to say that is going to "sound right" to those who will automatically believe the worst about you. You will just dig your hole deeper and deeper by trying to defend why you spanked or will spank your children in the future if they need it and then even if it turns out you were innocent everyone will have in the back of their minds when they see you with your chidren to watch you for any signs that maybe you are
And then what if the accusation was made by someone close to you... and it turns out that they just happened to be very upset with you at the time... and now wish they could take it back then what ?
I was wrong to argue with you in here to argue with my wife in here and I keep telling myself not to do it again I couldnt tell you how many times I have typed out very long responses in here only to delete them. I know in your hearts that you are only trying to help us and honestly I really do appreciate the effort.
But just like in any modern day trial along with the actual court there is also the court of public opinion and sadly for the most part that is what this has become and I refuse to drag my wife through the mud just to win in this arena, and any attempt I make at a defense of myself is only digging my hole deeper with the one that really matters
her.
So why did I start this thread in the first place ? Go back and read my first post look at my name my signature I wasnt asking for anyone to fry her nor to fry me I was pleading for prayer from fellow believers. Despite what some of you have said in here about praying not doing any good I believe in prayer because I believe in the convicting power of Holy Spirit to change hearts mine first and hers.
Yes I deliberately provoked her into posting in here because I was hurt and frustrated, and I was wrong to do so and maybe in the end I was wrong to post anything in here at all. I am ashamed that I allowed myself to be pulled into any of this debate at all.
I thank you for your prayers but I also challenge you for the future, and when others come here for what ever reason and post their heart aches and requests for prayers that instead of posting critically about someone on either side of a conflict that you post a prayer instead
Taking sides and posting your opinion on how wrong one or the other is only fuels the strife in a situation and where there is strife there is every evil work.
In Him,
Broken arrow
"advice"???... or inquisition?? lol.... I think you are wanting me to recant! lol
From my very first post I have confessed my "neglect"... and no one has told me anything in here that I didn't already know from the word about the requirements of a husband, but there has also been a lot of "personal opinion" that has no wordly foundation whatsoever... just wild speculation, accusation and criticism.
When I responded to those I just became defensive and made myself out to be someone that I am not. There are just some things that no matter how right you may be... there is no argument that does anything except to make you look the worse for making it.
For example if you were accused of child abuse for spanking your child... and now because the accusation was made, there is nothing that you are going to say that is going to "sound right" to those who will automatically believe the worst about you. You will just dig your hole deeper and deeper by trying to defend why you spanked or will spank your children in the future if they need it and then even if it turns out you were innocent everyone will have in the back of their minds when they see you with your chidren to watch you for any signs that maybe you are
And then what if the accusation was made by someone close to you... and it turns out that they just happened to be very upset with you at the time... and now wish they could take it back then what ?
I was wrong to argue with you in here to argue with my wife in here and I keep telling myself not to do it again I couldnt tell you how many times I have typed out very long responses in here only to delete them. I know in your hearts that you are only trying to help us and honestly I really do appreciate the effort.
But just like in any modern day trial along with the actual court there is also the court of public opinion and sadly for the most part that is what this has become and I refuse to drag my wife through the mud just to win in this arena, and any attempt I make at a defense of myself is only digging my hole deeper with the one that really matters
her.
So why did I start this thread in the first place ? Go back and read my first post look at my name my signature I wasnt asking for anyone to fry her nor to fry me I was pleading for prayer from fellow believers. Despite what some of you have said in here about praying not doing any good I believe in prayer because I believe in the convicting power of Holy Spirit to change hearts mine first and hers.
Yes I deliberately provoked her into posting in here because I was hurt and frustrated, and I was wrong to do so and maybe in the end I was wrong to post anything in here at all. I am ashamed that I allowed myself to be pulled into any of this debate at all.
I thank you for your prayers but I also challenge you for the future, and when others come here for what ever reason and post their heart aches and requests for prayers that instead of posting critically about someone on either side of a conflict that you post a prayer instead
Taking sides and posting your opinion on how wrong one or the other is only fuels the strife in a situation and where there is strife there is every evil work.
In Him,
Broken arrow
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hisbloodformysins
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Well Broken arrow, I want to first of all apologize about my posts, there really is no purpose, nor do they do any good. I can certainly empathise with how you feel about defending yourself and it not helping your case, and how it feels to be misunderstood and judged so wrongly by fellow christians, especially at this forum. As a matter of fact I quit coming here for several months because when I was in need, hurting, reaching out I got a lot of mean, insulting responses. I apologize for jumping to conclusions. The reason I did this in two of my posts is because the subject hit on something personal and really had nothing to do with the two of you. Even if you were thinking of leaving your wife to help your ministry, my post really served no good purpose, there are certain ways to reach out to and minister to people, and just critizing and condemning there is not that way. I'm sure you know that as a minister. Anyways, God Bless to both of you and I really am glad and hope that you two continue to grow closer through this as I know you will in seeking God.
HB
HB
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brokenarrow
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Thanks HB... that was extremely mature for a 25 year old 
... just goes to show you.. that it isn't age.. but how we apply God's word to our lives that brings Christian maturity ...
... Just for an update... We are both doing our best to find that balance and working it all out please keep us in your prayers...
... broken arrow
... just goes to show you.. that it isn't age.. but how we apply God's word to our lives that brings Christian maturity ... ... Just for an update... We are both doing our best to find that balance
and working it all out please keep us in your prayers... ... broken arrow
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Broken Arrow, are you for real?
Granted I only got to page 9, but sometimes I just get the feeling...
Granted I only got to page 9, but sometimes I just get the feeling...
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Jennifer615
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I wish you both a very happy Christmas and a much better new year.
What are you doing for Christmas? Hopefully it will be a family affair WITHOUT the teens!
What are you doing for Christmas? Hopefully it will be a family affair WITHOUT the teens!
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AndOne
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Broken Arrow - Juliegirl -
I'm going to be praying for you both. I have read most of your posts on this thread and its disturbing to me.
I realize that you guys are working through a lot of problems in your relationship now - but there is one key element in all of this that I really want you both to consider focusing in on for just a moment:
The Internet.
Perhaps you already have - but I haven't seen either of you address it in this thread - even after it was mentioned by some others at the beginning. I'm not saying it is the root cause by any stretch - but it is playing a role in everything. Julie with "cyberboy" and Broken with all of the teenagers (its the females that seem to be at issue mainly) emailing and IMing you all the time.
It is the one thing that jumped out at me while reading your posts. It's something that you must acknowledge as being an unnecessary hinderance in your relationship - and it appears (to me anyway) that it has turned into to something much worse than just a hinderance.
Of note - brokenarrow - you stated on at least two occassions that you were not going to post on this thread any longer - yet you have continued to do so. That suggests to me that you might possibly have some sort of addiction to this - and if to this - then possibly the net as a whole. It's as if you know it has the potential to make matters worse - and you don't want to inflame the situation any further (knowing your wife is reading especially) - but something just makes you keep coming back and mixing it up more. Now don't get mad at me - I'm only making an observation here - not a judgement - I'm only asking that you consider what I'm pointing out (as an observation).
Perhaps maybe you all should consider shutting down your computer and closing out your account. I strongly suggest it. I am not saying that your issues will be solved by doing this - but this is something that appears to be having a very great influence on you guys not being able to resolve your issues or starting to get them resolved.
Again - I am not judgeing. I am only offering you an outsider's perspective in hopes that it might help you out. Please - consider turning off the computer.....
I'm going to be praying for you both. I have read most of your posts on this thread and its disturbing to me.
I realize that you guys are working through a lot of problems in your relationship now - but there is one key element in all of this that I really want you both to consider focusing in on for just a moment:
The Internet.
Perhaps you already have - but I haven't seen either of you address it in this thread - even after it was mentioned by some others at the beginning. I'm not saying it is the root cause by any stretch - but it is playing a role in everything. Julie with "cyberboy" and Broken with all of the teenagers (its the females that seem to be at issue mainly) emailing and IMing you all the time.
It is the one thing that jumped out at me while reading your posts. It's something that you must acknowledge as being an unnecessary hinderance in your relationship - and it appears (to me anyway) that it has turned into to something much worse than just a hinderance.
Of note - brokenarrow - you stated on at least two occassions that you were not going to post on this thread any longer - yet you have continued to do so. That suggests to me that you might possibly have some sort of addiction to this - and if to this - then possibly the net as a whole. It's as if you know it has the potential to make matters worse - and you don't want to inflame the situation any further (knowing your wife is reading especially) - but something just makes you keep coming back and mixing it up more. Now don't get mad at me - I'm only making an observation here - not a judgement - I'm only asking that you consider what I'm pointing out (as an observation).
Perhaps maybe you all should consider shutting down your computer and closing out your account. I strongly suggest it. I am not saying that your issues will be solved by doing this - but this is something that appears to be having a very great influence on you guys not being able to resolve your issues or starting to get them resolved.
Again - I am not judgeing. I am only offering you an outsider's perspective in hopes that it might help you out. Please - consider turning off the computer.....
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Ill be praying for you, I am also going through a tough time with my wife. I don't think she has another male intest online but she does spend more time online talking with people than she does me so I know how it feels.
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FranklinNoble
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Yitzchak
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I am praying for you both........
One thought for Broken Arrow......You said your calling, the ministry is a part of who you are...... you also said that God needs to be first in all areas...... To find unity ... the two of you need to be called together and put God first together....... Make mutual decisions about the timing and the direction things should go and then do them together. Could it be possible that God is calling you to take some time off in order to get your wife and you unified so that you can minister together in a greater way???
Anyway, I will pray for the two of you......Remember that as much as God loves our ministry for him , He loves us Just for us and not for what we can do for him......I know that God loves both you and your wife and has not forgotten your situation..
One thought for Broken Arrow......You said your calling, the ministry is a part of who you are...... you also said that God needs to be first in all areas...... To find unity ... the two of you need to be called together and put God first together....... Make mutual decisions about the timing and the direction things should go and then do them together. Could it be possible that God is calling you to take some time off in order to get your wife and you unified so that you can minister together in a greater way???
Anyway, I will pray for the two of you......Remember that as much as God loves our ministry for him , He loves us Just for us and not for what we can do for him......I know that God loves both you and your wife and has not forgotten your situation..
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hygienemom
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BrokenArrow, you need to remember the priorities in your life...God first, wife second, children next...job down the line!!!
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