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I need some advice

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Neostarwcc, Feb 16, 2019.

  1. Neostarwcc

    Neostarwcc Eternal life is a free gift. Amen. Supporter

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    I have a really close friend of mine who thinks she is fat when she's not and I'm a little worried about her. She weighs about 210 pounds now and is almost 65 years old.

    See the thing is the meds that she's on right now causes her to gain weight as a side effect. But she's only put on about 20 pounds total from the meds I guess. But she is in her mid 60s and she's afraid of having a heart attack or stroke. I tried reassuring her that if her cholesterol is normal than odds are she won't have one. Especially since she hasn't had one ever. So her heart attack risk is minimal. I also told her that since she exercisises and takes care of herself than odds are she's going to live to be at least 80 or 90. I told her that my grandfather weighed about 250 lbs and had two strokes and he still lived to be almost 90. He was 88 and a half when he passed.

    I just don't get why all women think they're fat and freak out over nothing. If you want fat I can stick out my gut for you lol. IM fat but then again I weigh almost 400 pounds. I mean 210 pounds isn't fat at all I wish I weighed 210 pounds. But I think she's just falling prey to the multitudes of men who say that women need to be like 140 pounds. Doctors say it too but honestly? I don't trust doctors. I just don't know what to do with my friend or what to tell her that'll make her feel better and realize that she isn't fat. I honestly don't know how her bone structure is but big boned people are SUPPOSED to weigh more than other people. The BMI calculator doesn't take that into account.
     
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  2. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

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    Compared to 400 lbs, she may not seem fat, but unless she is more than 6 1/2 feet tall, she IS overweight and probably should be supported in her desire to find ways to lose a few pounds. At the same time, it is good to keep her from worrying herself to death about the matter--which is what you are trying to do for her. :oldthumbsup:
     
  3. Neostarwcc

    Neostarwcc Eternal life is a free gift. Amen. Supporter

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    She is probably overweight but its not like she is obese or anything. Plus research shows that people who are "overweight" on the bmi scale actually live longer than those who are "normal" or "underweight". I'd have to search for the article but basically the bmi scale is just one big joke. And people who are obese can live a long time if they exercise everyday and take care of themselves. That's what I'm trying to explain to her. But its like she's saying "I'm super fat" when really she's not. She can live for a long time if she continues to take care of herself. I mean lots of people who are 200 lbs live long and happy lives. When I lose weight I want to get down to 225-250 and stay there because I'm big boned and is live for like 20 years longer if I do that.
     
  4. crossnote

    crossnote Berean Supporter

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    Sometimes it's all the 'worry' that cuts short a person's lifespan, more than what they worry about.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2019
  5. Andrew77

    Andrew77 The walking accident Supporter

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    200 lbs, is in fact fat. Now I've met women who weight 100 lbs, and claim they are fat.... that is messed up. But 200 lbs is too heavy. Especially for women that old.

    If she is on meds, and her doctors have no alternatives.. then that is how it goes.
     
  6. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

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    The BMI scale has its deficiencies, one of them being athletes and bodybuilders with greater than average muscle mass registering as "overweight". If this does not describe her, she's fat. There are methods of measuring body fat percentage, since she is a woman she needs to have no more than 31% body fat, and ideally, she'd be keeping it under 25%.

    How And Why To Measure Your Body Fat Percentage

    The trick is acknowledging the facts she herself is acknowledging, while also telling her encouraging truth. She needs someone who will acknowledge the problem and show her a viable way out of that problem.
     
  7. Neostarwcc

    Neostarwcc Eternal life is a free gift. Amen. Supporter

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    That's one reason why I'm worried about her. She's worried that she's obese and going to die. And apparently her cholesterol is a little high yet apparently her doctor doesn't want to do anything for her high cholesterol. I told her to get a new Doctor especially when her doctor is telling her to drink like 15 glasses of water everyday because she has problems with her kidneys and her doctor's more concerned about that than her weight and high cholesterol! What a quack doctor! I mean is my friend overweight? Yes. But she's far from obese. I mean I'm trying to encourage her to lose weight since she wants to but yet at the same time I want her to know that her weight isn't as much of a death sentence as she thinks it is. I mean I weigh almost 400 pounds and I'm in generally good health. Better health than she is. My problem right now is just that I am morbidly obese. But I'm losing weight and keeping it off so far. So there's that.
     
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  8. Neostarwcc

    Neostarwcc Eternal life is a free gift. Amen. Supporter

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    Oh yes. She's overweight but I don't think she's obese nor do I think she should be worrying about it so much. She could live another 20 years if she keeps taking care of herself. Sometimes it's more of how you take care of yourself than what you weigh.
     
  9. Neostarwcc

    Neostarwcc Eternal life is a free gift. Amen. Supporter

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    You make a good point. But my grandfather was pretty fat and he lived for a really long time. He died when he was 88 and a half years old. Its true that ideally some one should be at such a body fat and I acknowledge that she is fat but my point is she will live for a really long time if she keeps taking care of herself. Which she does she eats a lot healthier than I do and she goes to the gym everyday. Just doing that and keeping up with that will make her live for at least another 20 years or so.
     
  10. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

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    Good that she's doing those things. If she's not related to you though, it's her genetics that matter more than yours or your grandfather's. Good on you for cheering her on.
     
  11. ValleyGal

    ValleyGal Well-Known Member

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    Weight is meaningless. BMI is meaningless. If she has lost weight before, she will register on the scale as higher than her size. For example, a 300 lb woman who has lost 100 lbs can still be in a size 14, but will have a lot of heavy loose skin. And if your friend has good muscle mass, then she will weigh more. A 200 lb woman who loses 50 lbs can also wear a size 14. A 130 lb woman can wear a size 14.

    All those numbers are meaningless.

    Your friend might be concerned about her appearance. I would support her in her efforts to lose a little if that is what she feels comfortable with. She needs to feel comfortable in her body. If she's not, then she needs support.

    Her cholesterol... see if she will try taking vitamin D. My cholesterol was borderline high. The doctor put me on a drug that messed with my statins - a little research on my part found that a lot of people who took cholesterol drugs had an increase in muscle cramps all the way to increased risk for ALS. I stopped taking them and started on 3000 IU of vitamin D as natural practitioners suggested, and my cholesterol is very low now.

    Good luck as you support your friend on her quest to get a little healthier.
     
  12. christine40

    christine40 Well-Known Member

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    Last edited: Feb 19, 2019
  13. Hazelelponi

    Hazelelponi Well-Known Member

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    If she's worrying it's likely because the extra weight is giving her problems - whether she's having a more difficult time breathing or her pulse rate and BP is feeling higher when shes active I don't know, but the weight is causing her to worry for a reason.

    She is obese, not just overweight. She would be in the obese category even if she's a tall woman. I'm sure that's causing her problems.

    I would suggest a different doctor, or at least some second opinions on her care..

    And then see about a better diet where she can get the necessary nutrition while cutting out some of the calories, that way some of the symptoms from being overweight will subside, and she will start feeling better again.

    A nutritionist is in order.
     
  14. Neostarwcc

    Neostarwcc Eternal life is a free gift. Amen. Supporter

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    No she isn't related to me. She's just a friend. So you bring up a good point. I just brought up my grandfather to her because he was someone who was obese that lived for a long time. I mean he wasn't morbidly obese like I am but still he weighed more than she does. I guess her parents were pretty fat too and they died in their mid to late 80s as well. Anyway I will try encouraging my friend more through her weight loss since I am trying to drop at least 100 pounds myself. I think if I lost 100 pounds I would feel MUCH better. Even though doctors say I should ideally lose 200 or more. Honestly? I don't want to be that skinny. But yeah she could lose 10 or 20 pounds and ill try encouraging her in her weight loss. I mean its all I can do really because no amount of talking is going to tell her that she isn't super fat and should live for another 20 years or so.
     
  15. Neostarwcc

    Neostarwcc Eternal life is a free gift. Amen. Supporter

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    I don't really trust the BMI calculator though. Because it says that even if I get down to 180 pounds in still obese. Back when I was like 11 or 12 years old I weighed that much and I could run for miles without stopping much. I was in great physical shape at 180 pounds yet when I was a kid I registered as obese too. I've been "obese" all my life pretty much. As for my friend she's able to exercise in the gym for a long time and she's wickedly faster than me. So she isn't obese no matter what the BMI scale says she is. Its all about whether you exercise and take care of yourself not how much you weigh. Unless you're almost 400 pounds like me and can barely move let alone exercise. I am obese/fat/ whatever.
     
  16. Neostarwcc

    Neostarwcc Eternal life is a free gift. Amen. Supporter

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  17. Hazelelponi

    Hazelelponi Well-Known Member

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    Your not understanding.

    Our frames can only handle so much weight. I am 5'8" tall. My healthy weight is 130 to 135, but my frame can handle a little more weight than that.

    I've weighed up to 185 due to disability but that weight is hard on me. My breathing is more labored at that weight and even with a solid physical therapy regimen the added weight is hard on my knees and back.

    I prefer staying around 160 as a result, it's not too much for my frame, and allows me a few more calories per day than if I were to try and maintain a 135 weight while disabled.

    At 210 I would have far too many problems and that weight would become untenable - and I'm a tall woman.

    A woman who is shorter would have far more problems than I would because the smaller you are the less weight your frame is built for.

    It's nothing to do with BMI calculators, it's how our bodies are made. They are only made to carry so much weight. We can go overweight to a small extent, but the more weight you pile on the more problems your going to have.

    If this woman is beginning to have concerns for her health, it's likely she is seeing a physical difference in trying to carry the extra weight.
     
  18. Joined2krist

    Joined2krist Active Member

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    I think she's on the fat side but I'm glad you're helping her remain positive. If she's willing to change her diet by eating less fatty food and sweets to consuming more vegies, grains, cereals, high fibre and lean meat, throwing in more exercise she'll lose weight
     
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