I need help

[AnointedPoetess]

I was molested when I was 4. I have been addicted to self pleasure since then (even before that so I've been told) and every time I do it I feel even more shameful than before because I believe that by self pleasing I'm re abusing or re voliating myself. I feel sick and twisted because I think I'm addicted to the fantasy that plays out in my head of being re abused or re voliated. I don't know what to do and I dont think I can go on much longer feeling like this. I really need some advice, encouragement, and prayer! Thank you.

I'm also wondering, could this be an effect of the molestation?

 

[dizzydoll]

sooo... its not uncommon. When I was younger I dealt with this but grew out of it. I wish I could give better advice. My issue was being addicted to men, the challenge of luring them and then cruely hurting them. I'd tease. These days I think the term is "hater". It was the power I had over them. Once in a while I did act out the "whole thing". It was all about me. I'd get them to want me then I'd reject them. Jesus changed it all for me but not overnight. Today, I'm still quite a work in progress. Real change for me occured when I met D, my husband. He lead me to the Lord. Your solution is deep within you and only God can heal it. At times God seems distant but know that especially in these times He is closer to you than you realize so don't give up. Keep reaching for Him. One place you can start is at http://www.preceptaustin.org/el_roi_-_god_who_sees.htm look for Jehova Rapha. This is a safe place. People will pray for you here. No need to feel ashamed. Hugs
Izzy

I was molested when I was 4. I have been addicted to self pleasure since then (even before that so I've been told) and every time I do it I feel even more shameful than before because I believe that by self pleasing I'm re abusing or re voliating myself. I feel sick and twisted because I think I'm addicted to the fantasy that plays out in my head of being re abused or re voliated. I don't know what to do and I dont think I can go on much longer feeling like this. I really need some advice, encouragement, and prayer! Thank you.

I'm also wondering, could this be an effect of the molestation?

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

I was molested when I was 4. I have been addicted to self pleasure since then (even before that so I've been told) and every time I do it I feel even more shameful than before because I believe that by self pleasing I'm re abusing or re voliating myself. I feel sick and twisted because I think I'm addicted to the fantasy that plays out in my head of being re abused or re voliated. I don't know what to do and I dont think I can go on much longer feeling like this. I really need some advice, encouragement, and prayer! Thank you.

I'm also wondering, could this be an effect of the molestation?

I don't know if this will help at all, but a lot of children around that age experiment without realising what they're doing. (I'm not playing anything down, just letting you know that you're not alone ).

In terms of re-living the abuse by self-pleasing, have you tried doing other things when you feel it coming? Sometimes doing something like sport can be really helpful to release that emotions and hormones that are built up and the feeling should usually pass. From there as well, do you see a counsellor at all about what happened when you were younger? The journey of recovery isn't an easy one and often if can pay to get professional help and support when you're not sure which way to turn or what to do.

 

[Halfwaythere]

I was molested when I was 5 and it continued on until I was 11 and finally stood up for myself.

I have struggled with the same issue you are struggleing with.

I don't know if that means the two are related. Is a form of self hate? I don't know, it may also be a form of comfort if there weren't many times in your life that you felt loved. We were born to feel loved, when that is missing an essential part of us is void.

I can't say I have any answers, well except to pray. God does love you. He lovingly formed you and me and sometimes I have to remind myself of that fact over and over and over [and try not to ask what the heck he was thinking]

 

[nowhereville]

Sometimes due to the abuse that is the only way you know how to comfort yourself. It is hard, but you can learn other ways to comfort yourself.