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I feel like I'm a Big Hypocrite

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by sk8brdkd, Mar 11, 2010.

  1. sk8brdkd

    sk8brdkd Audio A Sk8er

    United States
    I just realized something the other nite while I was laying in bed.

    I realized how the first 2 yrs working at my current job, I really didn't let anyone influence me in any really bad ways and I tried to dismiss and/or disregard everyone else when they spoke of sexual stuff and other things i kno i shoudn't be involved in,

    but, over the last few months, I've noticed myself sliding a bit. I will admit though, and i hate admitting this to anyone but, for the last 8 yrs or so, I've had a HUGE issue w/ sexual sin - became free of it for a bit, but, i guess now i've just gotten so used to all the talk at work that I've been a big instigator on the issue and i've even suggested my supervisor who's big into sex, i suggested to her to check out this 18+ 3d virutal world for adults only and I know I shouldn't do it, but, i say/do it anyway.

    I feel like i'm really bein drawn in the wrong way bc a few people at my job kno I'm a christian n stuff and I don't want to give them the wrong impression but, i dunno what to do.

    And my supervisor, she has a HUGE potty mouth and i'm just so used to it and for the last 2 1/2 yrs, I've ignored all those words but, now, I'm even starting to use them and i dunno.

    As for this sexual stuff, my supervisor n others are trying to get my hooked up w/ a guy and, i want nothing to do w/ dating right now bc, honestly, I have not had sex yet - not real sex anyway (only online, cybersex deal a long time ago) and I kno I don't want to have sex til I'm married, but, i can't control all these feelings inside of me - its sooo annoying - The smallest thing can turn me on and I HATE that which is why I've totally avoided dating anyone all these years bc I know I would give into the temptation to give into these sexual desires

    I dunno what to do w/ work - any ideas???

    Some people are really trying to hook me up w/ diff guys - so far, I've said no to all of their attempts at getting me to date someone, but, its wearing thin on my soul - i so want to give in but its that battle - good vs. evil and for myself now, i honestly feel like evil is starting to take over and win.

    I kno I've been told to turn n run the other way when tempted but thats tough to do at work and i face this situation and others at work each day n i just dunno what to do anymore.

    I have prayed about this situation but, seems when i pray the temptations and talk of sexual stuff gets worse and when i don't pray about it, then i'm not tempted as much - whats up w/ that?!?

    I "feel" like a huge hypocrite bc at work, i live like everyone else but at home, i try n act like this little angel - like nothing is wrong and i'm doin great in my christian journey when in reality, i feel like i'm fallin down hard. I haven't really been attending church since I still don't have a home church to go to yet and i don't have many christian friends anymore so, its drawing me thin.
  2. kranberrydude

    kranberrydude 'I do not want my image of God. I want God.'- CSL

    By admitting this you are not completely hypocrite, you have put the first step. Now pray to God by repenting which is changing your way of thinking. Genuinely ask Him to help you with pure thoughts and to find a church and maybe a new work enviroment.
    Trust God.
  3. Johnnz

    Johnnz Senior Veteran Supporter

    There are a few issues there

    a) Constant exposure can make you more susceptible to imbibing something of your environment. But the NT Christians were constantly surrounded by violence, cruelty and sexual images. Nothing new there.

    b) Sex should not be a forbidden topic. Christians can talk openly about many sexual topics and issues, but using a different vocabulary. That's not quite so easy for a single woman!

    c) You are a normally sexual woman. That most often goes with just staying alive. You won't come to a place of robust acceptance of yoru sexuality unless you do some thinking about what being a sexual but also sexually moral person means. Hint - Its much more than just saying "Not until marriage".

  4. wonderwaleye

    wonderwaleye Well-Known Member

    At the age of 28 and not having had sexual intercourse you have something few others have. In that regard you really have done well. You must understand that GOD created us with an ALMOST uncontrollable sexual drive so that we procreate. I'm sure you realize that not all births are planned.

    GOD covered all sexual sin in HIS WORD. There is one aspect of sex HE did not touch on. (masturbation) Surely HE knew about it and yet HE did not include it. GOD gave man and women the ability to let off the extreme pressure to procreate.

    As I read your post there is little doubt you know what is proper and what is not. Step back and decide what you will do and won't do and stick to it. Remember not all folks will agree on this. GOD'S WORD says if we do something thinking it to be sin but do it anyway, we are guilty of that sin. Yet another doing the very same thing believing it not to be sin is not guilty of this action. By your post you think your past actions at work were wrong. Lay them before JESUS and seek forgiveness.

    We can get in real trouble if we slow or stop walking up the path to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD.

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 25, 2010
  5. ChildOfGod97

    ChildOfGod97 Regular Member

    I have worked in environments where people talk this way.

    It did not make me popular, but I stayed away from that, and when the chance did arise, I tried to point people in the right directions in their relationships.

    Not being popular in that way is painful and difficult to do, but there are some choices we must make which demand this sort of behavior. We are not called to treat such people with difficulty, but to show them compassion. However, engaging in such conversation with them, or even encouraging such behavior for them, clearly is not the best course.

    So, change course. "Resist the Devil and he will flee". Do not beat yourself up too much on this, but do change course.

    One step at a time.
  6. savedbygracebre

    savedbygracebre Regular Member

    Understand completely the temptation to "fit in". Knowing what situations we can involve ouselvs in and which ones we shouldn't is tough. I am a Christian at my job(every one pretty much knows) and trying to be a part of the crowd without condeming is tough. Sometimes I can tell when I have crossed that line and I'll stop, pray, and read His Word.
    Always remember(even though people wan't usually tell you) they respect you for standing up for what you believe. Alot of people wish they could and admire you for your moral convictions. My rule is : " if you don't stand for something-you stand for nothing". Pray for God to show you your line and stay on His side. Remember you used to stay on the wrong side and that is why you needed the blood of Christ to redeem you. Stay the course and "fight the good fight of faith"!
  7. ezeric

    ezeric HE loves me too.

    First we are all hypocrites, living the pretend life until we come face to face with a risen LORD, and realize that we are nothing and can't live this life without HIM.

    HE is your life! Colossians 3:4

    You are trying to live the Christian life which is impossible to do, only HE can live it through you.

    Here is the answer, to why you pray about it you sin more:
    You said "I have prayed about this situation but, seems when i pray the temptations and talk of sexual stuff gets worse and when i don't pray about it, then i'm not tempted as much - whats up w/ that?!?"

    The law was added so that the trespass might increase. Romans 5:20

    the power of sin is the law" (I Cor. 15:56)

    When we teach (or focus) on the law or rule following, commandments or even sins - we sin more!
    We are not to teach commandments anymore but preach JESUS and HIM crucified and raised! 1 Corinthians 2:2

    But the scripture repeatedly tells us "Behold the lamb of GOD who takes away the sin of the world"
    "Fix your eyes on JESUS" See Hebrews 12:2

    When Peter was looking on JESUS, Peter could walk the impossible (walk on water). You too can walk the impossible, just looking into HIS eyes of unconditional Love.

    That HE came to rescue you, and knows exactly how you feel and the hurts, and fears you carry - and isn't mad at you, but wants you to simply rest in HIS LOVE, knowing that only HE can continue to save/rescue you - thats what a deliverer or redeemer does!+

    Note: its not a 1 day experience but a life long deliverer. 2 Cor 1:10

    The only reason we are against sin, or the only reason GOD hates sin, is because of the same reason we don't want our children taking crack or getting drunk. We know what ruin it will bring, and how dark the devil's ways are and for their own good (because we love them) we teach them its horrors and evils. But (like the prodigal son) if they choose to leave, (Father lets them go - because love doesn't insist on its own way). Fathers' heart is broken (because its not for their best) but willing allows them to leave, and then everyday with tears, looking for the return of their child.

    To punish them?
    To scold them?
    To rebuke them?


    To love them, to hold them, to welcome them back - thats the GOD we serve!

    I agree with JohnNZ about us being sexual people. GOD made it, but some Christians feel its wrong to talk about it, so the world does and pollutes a beautiful thing and the only thing heard (for the Christians) is the perverted (twisted) of the True.

    Sometimes us Christians try to act 'too holy' and we don't get into the trenches where JESUS went to shine the light.


    We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:6
  8. Peripatetic

    Peripatetic Restless mind, peaceful soul.

    Bad behavior in the work place or among friends is hard to deal with! A lot of my friends swear constantly... including some Christians. I know some people would say, "find new friends!", but I always remember my mother's advice, and the "in the world, but not of the world" expression. Over time, my friends understand and accept that I don't swear, and they do their best to tone it down when I'm around. In return, I don't chastise them for doing it when they do.

    Sexual potty-mouth talk makes me uncomfortable too, especially when it's a bunch of guys talking about women like they are objects. If they are good enough friends, they'll put up with your "buzz kill", and maybe even learn from your example.