I Enjoy My Depression

[Cachook]

Maybe you are right. I hope I am not trying to get attention. Then I know I am doing something wrong. I just don't want anyone to be responsible for how I feel. Being loved feels good. But I don't rely on how someone feels about me. I can love, but from a distance. It is depressing that people don't love you. But I feel like I don't need people, and that feels good.

You mentioned the word "I" nine times. This is about attention. We are in the same boat in many ways. Depression is a spirit. Sometimes, the issue is a chemical imbalance which medication can cure, but your case is that it is a spirit you must rebuke. Do not let it take you any farther. You are in dangerous waters.

 

[child630]

You mentioned the word "I" nine times. This is about attention. We are in the same boat.

You're right. My mistake

 

[Joy]

Over the past few months You have been sharing your need for prayer for deliverance from certain sins and now you are saying you are enjoying your depression etc. It seems you are just wallowing in self pity as others have said, and at the end of the day only you can choose the way forward.

 

[child630]

Over the past few months You have been sharing your need for prayer for deliverance from certain sins and now you are saying you are enjoying your depression etc. It seems you are just wallowing in self pity as others have said, and at the end of the day only you can choose the way forward.

Yes, you are probably right. I just feel sorry for myself.

 

[child630]

I don't need you to respond any more. There's no reason. Consider the matter close.

 

[chaoticfirefly]

I know you said this is closed, but:

are you seeing a therapist? I don't want to make you feel invalidated, but, it's generally not healthy to find your depression enjoyable. Are you on anti-depressants?

I had asked a similar question a long time ago, and I now have come to a conclusion: it's not a sin. It's not a demon. It's an imbalance in the brain that makes it hard to feel happiness, and sadness becomes your friend.

If you are not seeking help, I strongly encourage you to get it. It does wonders and medication does help too.

As someone who has been struggling for an incredibly long time, yeah, I get the enjoyment of depression. I understand it, but it's so incredibly lonesome too and it becomes so easy to envy those who don't have it.

In the end, it comes down to yourself, and taking care of yourself. Do you wish for it to stop?

 

[Damian Newman]

Psychology is a sham.

 

[chaoticfirefly]

.

 

[DreyDay]

When people like me, they want to be around me all the time. I would be afraid of doing something that would make people hate me. Then I would be even more depressed.

Sounds like you have boundary issues. It's not your responsibility for other people to like you. You can do nice things or mean things to people and they could like/dislike you either way. Be yourself, and when you are, people will respect you. However, some people may see that you respect yourself and may resent you for it, and so they'll be "haters." Even if you do make a mistake you're human. Apologize and if the person can't accept you, then it's their problem.

That's how it went for me. I learned to stand up for myself and became more confident, and started working out like crazy. I put on 40 pounds of muscle and now many of the same people act differently around me. People accuse me of being arrogant and looking like a guy walking off the set of Jersey Shore. But hey, that's just the way it is. I got haters everywhere I go. Lol.

But hey, if you're predisposed to being moody then make the most of it: become an artist or start a band.

"One's strength is measured in the number of enemies lined up against them."

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."

 

[Cachook]

It's up to him. Father, let you help and heal those of us in the throngs and fetters of depression, and deliver us, sheltering us in your wings by exclusive faith in Jesus and what He did at Calvary. Assist and come unto us who weep, or who are trapped in self pity.
Amen.

Leave it in prayer, y'all.

 

[LoricaLady]

We are told to "Rejoice in YHWH, again I say rejoice..." Messiah said He came that "Your joy may be full." Now joy, supernatural, joy is not the same as worldly happiness, though.

We are responsible to people whether we want to be or not. "Love your neighbor as yourself," and "If anyone sees good to do and does not do it, to him it is a sin."

As far as your not finding it attractive when people say "I love you..." well, maybe at least part of the reason is because people tend to toss the "love" word around too much and it may be no more meaningful than saying "I love my new shoes". Don't know about your case for sure, though, of course.

If you are worried that people will expect things out of you that you can't, or aren't willing and ready to give, well, it's just like with everything else. Pray about it. Ask to love if and as Messiah wants. Ask to be lifted up to help in ways that don't feel like a burden to you. He doesn't want you to feel burdened. "My burden is easy and my joke is light...."

Praying for you not to try to do things in your own strength. We never have enough strength, not by a long shot. Praying for you to more and more turn things over to Messiah.

You're not perfect yet. Oh well. None of us is. It's a process.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

Is it wrong that I am satisfied with being depressed? Is depression sin? Where in the Bible does it say I have to be happy? A lot of people dealing with depression wants to get out of it. But not me. I like feeling unloved by people. I like feeling like I am worthless. This doesn't make sense, I know. But I don't want to be worth anything to anyone. This relieves me of any responsibility. When people like me, they want to be around me all the time. I would be afraid of doing something that would make people hate me. Then I would be even more depressed. I am willing to help out people in need, but I hate it when they tell me that they love me. In fact, it makes me sick. I can express love by doing things for people, but the words "I love you," I hate. What is wrong with me? Why am I OK with depression? And, even though I practice charity, am I still not pleasing to God?

Few thoughts....

1. No, it shouldn't be ok with you finding living in clinical depression comfortable.

2. God has a far better plan for your life than being controlled by it. He wants you to be Spirit controlled.

3. You may have to endure depression if its genetic , but you can still have Gods Spirit living in you and choosing to live according to Gods spirit and thus, plan for your life.

4. Whatever thwarts Gods intention for your life, is bad. And it is sin to disregard how God wants you to live .

5. You've become comfortable living in depression. Its become an 'ol friend' ...something you've surrendered to. IT has and is controlling you. Thus, you've become addicted to it .

6. God expects you to use spiritual warfare against anything and everything that has us pigeonholed and made low. If you don't do the things which you know you should, then you sin.

7. The signs and consequences of depression will only get worse if you call it your 'friend' .

8. God expects you to walk thru it with HIM by your side. That means refusing to allow it to control you.

9. There are many good medications to combat depression and then you will return to normalcy as far as being productive for God again. To not do this, is sin.

10 . It is Satans ploy to render you useless for Gods work. And Satan also wants you to turn to whatever...just so long as its not God and Gods plan of joy and peace for your life. Only you can help change that . ANd I hope you will.

Im someone whos gone thru the depression thing . ANd I hope you will be Someone who refuses to let it rule you. The correct response is for you to despise it and to work with God in overcoming it or at least minimally enduring it while fighting it with Gods power. So, do you want that ? Only you can answer that.