I dont trust God anymore..

[Kenny'sID]

(((( Far Side Of the Moon))))

Been years since I've done that...seemed appropriate. Wish I could offer more but I don't know what you need.

What do you need? What can we do?

 

[stuart lawrence]

I feel like I'm going crazy right now... I think im having a panic attack...I don't mean to trouble u guys. I make alot of threads ..but I need help... I just want it to end tonight,

In tired of being scared of my own thoughts, not living , afraid of going mentally ill and insane, I'm tired of waiting on god to show he cares,.. I want to end it tonight.

Christianity isn't logical. For as one evangelist said:
Faith begins where logic ends

Why fear your thoughts? They cant send you to hell.

I lived in terror and fear in my youth. But that was because I was afraid that if I didn't live a perfect life( which i couldn't) I would be cast into hell.
I didn't have a saviour then. I was my own saviour. Either I, by my best efforts defeated my sin, or God would cast me into hell.
I felt isolated then, alone, I was tired of not living also. But how could God help me when i insisted on trying to save myself? I wasn't relying on what his son did for me, but myself.
I feared my thoughts would send ne to hell, any imperfections would send me to hell. I was going crazy, felt like I should be locked up sonewhere
I went to see a christian couple in ministry once. I told them I had thoughts no one else had, I was weird. The woman asked me what these thoughts were. Somehow I was brave enough to tell her. She smiled and said: But most people have thoughts just like that. I still wasn't convinced! I was convinced I should be in a psychiatric hospital
To tell you the truth, I did end up seeing a few psychiatrists as a teenager. It has an affect on you, becoming a christian and trying to save yourself from hell

 

[I'm_Sorry]

I don't think ill make it to 30...I'm too messed up.

Start from the start mate, let us help

List the reasons why you think you're messed up.

Feel fee to PM, but if you let it all out at least we can all get to work on helping your relationship with God.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I feel the same way sometimes... When you pray for things that are humble, honorable, and glorifying to God and yet He doesn't answer can be extremely frustrating and disheartening.

I've used it as a reason to no longer be a Believer. And that lasted a couple of days... God is real. I can't explain why, but He is and I can't not believe in Him.

Tagging this since I know there are some very wise people here with some great spiritual insight and words of wisdom...

I mean I still believe in god too but I'm still miserable

 

[I'm_Sorry]

I mean I still believe in god too but I'm still miserable

What is the misery you feel? Describe it.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

What is the misery you feel? Describe it.

On the brink of insanity and willing yourself to be okay because my mom needs me. Having zero self worth after a bad church experience and it plays over and over in your mind but I ruminate and have nothing to do and can't do nothing, have chronic nightmares to the point I try not to sleep at night and sleep in the day...

And I get to see other people have a nice life in front of my face

 

[Galatea]

On the brink of insanity and willing yourself to be okay because my mom needs me. Having zero self worth after a bad church experience and it plays over and over in your mind but I ruminate and have nothing to do and can't do nothing, have chronic nightmares to the point I try not to sleep at night and sleep in the day...

And I get to see other people have a nice life in front of my face

A lot of times, unclear thinking comes from not sleeping well or enough. If you are sleep deprived, this might be what is driving your negative thoughts.

 

[I'm_Sorry]

I feel like I'm going crazy right now... I think im having a panic attack...I don't mean to trouble u guys. I make alot of threads ..but I need help... I just want it to end tonight,

In tired of being scared of my own thoughts, not living , afraid of going mentally ill and insane, I'm tired of waiting on god to show he cares,.. I want to end it tonight.

My partner who recently died was suffering similar, she attempted on her life many many times.

Please do not do that! Lets take it from the top.

For a panic attack just get on the floor and put yourself in the fetal position and try to concentrate on breathing one long breath at a time.

Like a piece of peaceful music. In and out, let the calm take you. Know that you're loved, even now as we speak.

Concentrate on looking at simple things around you, look at them become mindful of them even a breeze in your room. Bring yourself to calm.

 

[I'm_Sorry]

On the brink of insanity and willing yourself to be okay because my mom needs me. Having zero self worth after a bad church experience and it plays over and over in your mind but I ruminate and have nothing to do and can't do nothing, have chronic nightmares to the point I try not to sleep at night and sleep in the day...

And I get to see other people have a nice life in front of my face

Now forget what you're thinking about concerning people living nice lives.

Lets concentrate on your life as its just as loved and important as people who appear blessed.

Describe the Church experience for me?

Describe your thoughts of what you think is insanity. What makes you think you're insane?

Also regarding nightmares, God will always protect you. Call on Him when you're scared and say.

Heavenly Father, I'm scared, my dreams, Lord I don't want to feel scared, I know you saved me Lord and defeated evil, you have all Power over evil, may you take my bad dreams away and expel any bad or evil feelings? I'm sorry for my sins, I don't want to sin, I want to love you God the way you love me. In Jesus name Amen.

Meditate on each line of the Lord prayer, learn it if you haven't and pray it meditating (talking to God) to acknowledge what each word means.


Matthew 6:9-13King James Version (KJV)
9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.





Speak it out loud when you're really scared and your Faith and belonging within Christ Jesus will scare off evil its self.

We need to get you back to living in the light hours and sleeping in the nocturnal hours.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

On the brink of insanity and willing yourself to be okay because my mom needs me. Having zero self worth after a bad church experience and it plays over and over in your mind but I ruminate and have nothing to do and can't do nothing, have chronic nightmares to the point I try not to sleep at night and sleep in the day...

And I get to see other people have a nice life in front of my face

Also forgot to add, feeling like gods punching bag, that hates you, you can't do anything write..not work,school. Nothing..,and then wondering if you should die or not.

 

[ewq1938]

On the brink of insanity and willing yourself to be okay because my mom needs me. Having zero self worth after a bad church experience and it plays over and over in your mind but I ruminate and have nothing to do and can't do nothing, have chronic nightmares to the point I try not to sleep at night and sleep in the day...

And I get to see other people have a nice life in front of my face

Can you find a new church?

I get some nightmares too...oddly enough I prefer them to not dreaming at all which I know is weird.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Now forget what you're thinking about concerning people living nice lives.

Lets concentrate on your life as its just as loved and important as people who appear blessed.

Describe the Church experience for me?

Describe your thoughts of what you think is insanity. What makes you think you're insane?

I don't want to describe I said it so many times in many threads,talked about it with a friend....saying it again Wil just make me sad.


Thoughts, just anxiety... What if thoughts, what if ill never be anything, what if go crazy, what if god does hate me blah blah

 

[ewq1938]

Also forgot to add, feeling like gods punching bag

It's not God, it's Satan and is evil world. I know it sucks that God doesn't yet SWOOP in and rescue us....but remember this is an evil world and God has a plan to help but it might be in the future.

 

[Galatea]

I don't want to describe I said it so many times in many threads,talked about it with a friend....saying it again Wil just make me sad.


Thoughts, just anxiety... What if thoughts, what if ill never be anything, what if go crazy, what if god does hate me blah blah

God doesn't hate you, even if you feel like He does.

You have felt like this in the past, right? Those feelings eventually passed and you got better.

This bad time for you will pass too. Cling to that thought "this too, shall pass."

 

[I'm_Sorry]

I don't want to describe I said it so many times in many threads,talked about it with a friend....saying it again Wil just make me sad.

It's OK, just concentrate on a happy memeory like a beach for a minute.

Thoughts, just anxiety... What if thoughts, what if ill never be anything, what if go crazy, what if god does hate me blah blah

I know the feeling of anxiety and panic all too well, its not nice. We must reason against wild thoughts every moment.

E.g.

What if God hates me?

Step 1) Why do I think God hates me?
Answer your question: because I feel like nothing is going right.
Step 2) What is the right way of life?
Step 3) Find answers.
Step 4) What is right for my life if God loves me?
What is my life if God hates me? Does God even hate us?
He hasn't judged me yet and I'm still alive?
Step 4) Find answers.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

My partner who recently died was suffering similar, she attempted on her life many many times.

Please do not do that! Lets take it from the top.

For a panic attack just get on the floor and put yourself in the fetal position and try to concentrate on breathing one long breath at a time.

Like a peace of peaceful music. In and out, let the calm take you. Know that you're loved, even now as we speak.

Concentrate on looking at simple things around you, look at them become mindful of them even a breeze in your room. Bring yourself to calm.

Wow I'm spool sorry about your spouse..I am really.

Watching YouTube videos is helping to calm me down....


I think I'll be okay for now.

Thank you guys for your support.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

God doesn't hate you, even if you feel like He does.

You have felt like this in the past, right? Those feelings eventually passed and you got better.

This bad time for you will pass too. Cling to that thought "this too, shall pass."

Yeah I have felt worse in my past.
I guess you're right.

I just wish I had faith in myself...myself esteem is just not the best.

 

[ewq1938]

Wow I'm spool sorry about your spouse..I am really.

Watching YouTube videos is helping to calm me down....

That is great...can you share? I love some good YT vids

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

It's OK, just concentrate on a happy memeory like a beach for a minute.



I know the feeling of anxiety and panic all too well, its not nice. We must reason against wild thoughts every moment.

E.g.

What if God hates me?

Step 1) Why do I think God hates me?
Answer your question: because I feel like nothing is going right.
Step 2) What is the right way of life?
Step 3) Find answers.
Step 4) What is right for my life if God loves me?
What is my life if God hates me? Does God even hate us?
He hasn't judged me yet and I'm still alive?
Step 4) Find answers.

For me the only thing that takes the edge off is just forgetting about God for a while or a long time....free myself from this pressure and torture because its God, the pressure of being like him,begging god for mercy,comfort , my bad church experience that's driving me insane. I need to let it go so I can feel peace inside...

That way I can not blame god or be mad at someone that's not on the forefront of my mind,,..and I can be free in my own way.

Yeah I think this is what I'm going to do.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

That is great...can you share? I love some good YT vids

It was a clothing haul, a make up video and then a rant video