I don't think I want to...

[Addaperle]

Don't know if this has already been said, but God grants some of us the gift of singleness... it's a vocation just like marriage...

 

[hotknikkels]

yeh - I have already said that - even before you marry and go out with someone - that is still a period of singleness and therefore is still a gift!!!

 

[ZiSunka]

Don't know if this has already been said, but God grants some of us the gift of singleness... it's a vocation just like marriage...

We already established that in that context, "gift" means, "a talent, a skill, a knack, an aptitude," and not a spiritual endowment.

You might have an aptitude for being able to be single, but it is not a spiritual appointment from God, like the gift of tongues, teaching, generosity, etc.

 

[hotknikkels]

actually I kinda like disagree in a sense, but hear me out, it may not be the same as teaching or something like that, but it can help that gift! You see, being single can help improve gifts, especially spiritual gifts and therefore it can be a gift in itself! Hope you are still understanding, so really singleness can be a "gift", and Paul classed as it such when he said: "1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry." And then, "6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." These can be found in 1 Corinthians 7.

Now the word for gift here is: "cavrisma" or "Charisma" and this means "grace or gifts denoting extraordinary powers, distinguishing certain Christians and enabling them to serve the church of Christ, the reception of which is due to the power of divine grace operating on their souls by the Holy Spirit", it is also used to describe the "gift" of grace! So Paul was saying that one of the gifts given to him was the gift of singleness and this gift was used to help him serve the church. Therefore being single can be a spiritual gift! Before someone says it is not, what are spiritual gifts? Gifts given by the Spirit, and "Charisma" gift is a gift given by the Spirit, that is where the word "charismatic" comes from.

Hope that clears that up!

 

[ZiSunka]

Hm, but the Kind James Word Book, a dictionary of Biblical terms, says just that in the context of that passage as well as other places, the word "gift" means aptitude, not endowment. The example given is that Hitler had a gift for getting people to follow him, but that gift was an aptitude, not a spiritual endowment from God. He had charisma, but it was not the Holy Spirit working through him, it was his own natural aptitude. The things Hitler led people to do was definitely NOT godly, thus it is impossible to conclude that Hitler's gift was an endowment from God. Same word, different meaning. Happens a lot in Greek as well as English.

 

[hotknikkels]

Ah, but Hitler was not a Christian! Paul is, and so are the people are given that gift by the Holy Spirit! So I don't agree with the KJ Word Book, they were basing their statement on a non-Christian, so to me, that point is not valid!

 

[ZiSunka]

They are not making a statement about Hitler. They are using him as an example of a person who had charisma, but no Spirit, to show the point that the word can have the meaning of "a spiritual gift" in some contexts, but "an aptitude" in other contexts. It was purely an example to illustrate a point, not a commentary on Paul's or Hitler's spiritual health.

 

[Donny_B]

Ah! You are one of those people who only read one verse of the NT about divorce and think they know the whole mind of God on the subject. Read Matthew, too, not just Corinthians.

I guess the title of your thread should have been "I don't think I want to be RE-married". If you don't want to RE-marry, then I think you have Paul's (and other's) blessings, although I think you are permitted to re-marry another if your former spouse has committed fornication (according to Matthew, although the fornication exception does not appear in Mark or Luke).

Most of us here are in the never-married category. I am among the never-married's, so I have not really considered the question of divorce that much. Most of us in this category, I would assume, think of marriage as lasting a lifetime, and that's how I think we should go into it, doing everything we can to make it last.

The only extent I have really thought about divorce personally, is if we never-marrieds may consider a divorced person as a spouse, or is that
adultery? I have read several verses on it (Matt 5:32, Matt 19:9, Mark 10:12, Luke 16:18). I personally would prefer someone like myself that is also in the never-married category, even though as I get older it is getting harder to find that type of person. I would hate the pressure of having a wife's former husband around with kids that aren't my own with all the visitations, etc, having the responsbility of a step-father without the same love from natural children, and all the stress that would entail, especially if the former husband was unmarried himself.

I am in no hurry to make a big mistake, and am happy as I am. I am patient enough to wait for the right one, hopefully never-married, to come along, if God leads me into that direction.

 

[hotknikkels]

They are not making a statement about Hitler. They are using him as an example of a person who had charisma, but no Spirit, to show the point that the word can have the meaning of "a spiritual gift" in some contexts, but "an aptitude" in other contexts. It was purely an example to illustrate a point, not a commentary on Paul's or Hitler's spiritual health.

Well, would that apply to somewho who had the gift and the spirit??? You see, being single is not a talent! A talent is something you are born with, and that you are able to use. For example, Hitler. Hitler had a talent at leading people, he was a natural leader, and a great leader, and he was born with that talent. Singleness is not a talent, it is a gift. Even if it is just a period of time in your life, it is still a gift, given to Christians by the spirit that is inside of them. Now, this gift can be for a lifetime or a period of time, nevertheless it is not a gift you are born with. Most people crave to be with someone, they have a natural craving to be with someone. That craving can be filled in serveral ways, the first is to get married (and that is the normal way), but sometimes God will fill that hole in that person's life, and therefore that is a gift. You see, the purpose of some being single is that they can serve God more. That is what I said in my last post and I will say it here again, this is why it is a gift, because it enables the individual to serve the church!

Now, also marriage is a gift from God. It was his idea than man needed a helper, and if He is not the helper, than the wife will be, if you know what I mean? So both can be seen as a gift from God!!!

This is why I disagree with what that guy says in that book, and then using Hitler as an example is laughable, sorry, but you can use someone who is not a Christian (so who not have the Spirit in him, so therefore cannot have a gift of the Spirit, but only can have talents!!!). I am using the example of Paul in the Bible, and I feel that is the best example that one can use!!!

 

[alonesoldier]

I think that if you don't wanna get married, that is great! God will use you without you getting married. I have a question though, do you still want a girlfriend?

oh course, Im not a monk.

 

[hotknikkels]

then if that is your answer, why do you want a g/f - if you do not intend to get married?

 

[ZiSunka]

Well, would that apply to somewho who had the gift and the spirit??? You see, being single is not a talent! A talent is something you are born with, and that you are able to use.

If a talent is something you are born with, why are there so many music and art schools that teach people how to have talent??

 

[ZiSunka]

I guess the title of your thread should have been "I don't think I want to be RE-married". If you don't want to RE-marry, then I think you have Paul's (and other's) blessings, although I think you are permitted to re-marry another if your former spouse has committed fornication (according to Matthew, although the fornication exception does not appear in Mark or Luke).

Yes, I already established that.

Most of us here are in the never-married category. I am among the never-married's, so I have not really considered the question of divorce that much. Most of us in this category, I would assume, think of marriage as lasting a lifetime, and that's how I think we should go into it, doing everything we can to make it last.

Goody for you. It was not my intention to divorce ever, either, but sometimes those things are out of our hands, no matter how careful we were in picking a mate. I'm rather offended that you think I go around marrying and divorcing, or that I married on a temporary permit instead of a marriage license. I've been divorced almost 19 years, and I never remarried. I think I take the marriage commitment as seriously as you do, maybe more seriously.

The only extent I have really thought about divorce personally, is if we never-marrieds may consider a divorced person as a spouse, or is that
adultery? I have read several verses on it (Matt 5:32, Matt 19:9, Mark 10:12, Luke 16:18). I personally would prefer someone like myself that is also in the never-married category, even though as I get older it is getting harder to find that type of person. I would hate the pressure of having a wife's former husband around with kids that aren't my own with all the visitations, etc, having the responsbility of a step-father without the same love from natural children, and all the stress that would entail, especially if the former husband was unmarried himself.

I would prefer the never-married category myself. I don't have children or dealings with an ex-spouse and I would prefer not to marry someone with those entanglements.

I am in no hurry to make a big mistake, and am happy as I am. I am patient enough to wait for the right one, hopefully never-married, to come along, if God leads me into that direction.

Wow, cuz everyone else is in a hurry to make a big mistake. I just married my college sweetheart whom I dated for four years before marrying him. But I'm sure you think that's rushing into things...out of selfishness and rebellion against God, right?

 

[Donny_B]

Actually, I was thinking about my colleague on the night shift, the female security guard, who has been divorced five years and is four years older than me. She has become a good friend to talk to on the night shift, but I think she is a little too wild for me, at least in her past (drugs, topless dancer, etc). She introduced me to her mother last week and wanted to know if she and her 14-year old son could move in with me, and I just kind of laughed it off. Her former husband is a Vietnam Vet and alcoholic.

She had a wild life in her younger years, kind of like "Jenny" in the 70's on the movie "Forrest Gump". I'm on the opposite extreme kind of like Forrest himself!

Jenny Gump: Run, Forrest, Run!

 

[hotknikkels]

If a talent is something you are born with, why are there so many music and art schools that teach people how to have talent??

Actually they teach how to improve your talent. They can not teach someone how to play the piano well, if they don't have the talent in the first place. They may not realise they have the talent until they start to play.

Let's take a soccer player for example. Many, many people enjoy playing soccer. But you can see the people who are born with the talent to play and those who just enjoy playing. I do not have a talent to play soccer. I have played it all my life, and still I am only average. Yes, I can improve, but only upto a certain point. But I am not a talented player. One of my friends has played soccer about the same as me. But he is a naturally talented player. We saw that when he was a kid, he was naturally good with the ball and he had raw talent! All physiologists agree that people are born with certain talents! It may be a talent to lead, to play soccer, to play the piano, to sing, oh that is a good one - if someone has not got a singing voice, it is very difficult to teach them to sing, not impossible, but very difficult, but if they are a naturally talented singer it is so easy to teach them.

Ask any teacher, if a kid is born with a talent to do something, best thing to do is nurture that talent!!!

 

[the_man]

Actually they teach how to improve your talent. They can not teach someone how to play the piano well, if they don't have the talent in the first place. They may not realise they have the talent until they start to play.

Let's take a soccer player for example. Many, many people enjoy playing soccer. But you can see the people who are born with the talent to play and those who just enjoy playing. I do not have a talent to play soccer. I have played it all my life, and still I am only average. Yes, I can improve, but only upto a certain point. But I am not a talented player. One of my friends has played soccer about the same as me. But he is a naturally talented player. We saw that when he was a kid, he was naturally good with the ball and he had raw talent! All physiologists agree that people are born with certain talents! It may be a talent to lead, to play soccer, to play the piano, to sing, oh that is a good one - if someone has not got a singing voice, it is very difficult to teach them to sing, not impossible, but very difficult, but if they are a naturally talented singer it is so easy to teach them.

Ask any teacher, if a kid is born with a talent to do something, best thing to do is nurture that talent!!!

Did someone say soccer?!

I agree with what you have said and the key words that you used with your friend were "raw talent". Talent needs to be shaped and polished just like a stone is shaped and polished into a diamond.

 

[urbanfaerie]

i wanna get married.

i want that happily ever after ending..

 

[remy]

i wrote on my first post to this board that i didnt want to get married. well strings have been being pulled lately, i wanna find someone!

 

[calgal]

i wrote on my first post to this board that i didnt want to get married. well strings have been being pulled lately, i wanna find someone!

I give up. I am not going to find someone ever and I might as well get used to the idea of it being me alone. It hurts a lot. Do I want this? no. Am I worthy of a Christian man? I sincerely doubt it. Too much baggage and I don't want the pain of being used and tossed aside. I am done with anything resembling love. If I am going to be a Spinster, at least let me be a happy one. I wonder sometimes if I am just not loveable to anyone but God?

 

[Donny_B]

Calgal, don't give up...I think there is a Christian man out there for
you. I think everybody has their own story and has taken different paths
to arrive at where they are. Although my friend at work made a lot of
mistakes in her past, she is truly an inspiration to me, because she
turned around. She has a simple faith that has kept her going through
the years, a simple faith like mine. Her faith is a true one that is sincere and not just for show. She is so nice and sweet..and she talks to me.
I consider myself lucky to have her as a friend.