I don't think I want to...

[ZiSunka]

I don't think I really ever want to get married.

That may be shocking, but I really think I'd rather not be tied down to a marriage.

What are your thoughts?

 

[DaveKerwin]

each person has their own gifts.

maybe God has kept you single and without the desire for marriage for his own purposes.

for myself, I really want to be married. this is not just a sex issue, I want companionship, partnership, etc.

 

[the_man]

I feel like this somedays...i'm on the opposite end on other days.

 

[Quiet Storm]

I've felt like that, believe it or not. Being the hopeless romantic I am, I've gone through the lifelong episode where I always wanted a relationship, but because of a life full of rejection, the thought of actually being in one became so intimidating to me that I avoided it. Finally about a week ago, I went to God about it, and I'm ready! I don't know if that's your issue. Based on the posts I've read about marriage from you, it seems like you have the desire, or at least interest. Maybe it's a fear of some sort?

 

[fieldmouse3]

I go back and forth...I'm not really sure what I want anymore!

 

[Donny_B]

Marriage should be entered into very seriously with no wavering on the part of the wedding vows.
If you can't make up your mind easily, then perhaps marriage is not for you. James said a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.
If you are looking for stability, look to Christ who never changes.
A hundred years from now, it will not make that much difference. What will matter then, is what you did to advance, or hinder, the kingdom of Christ when you were here.

 

[ZiSunka]

The older I get, the harder it is for me to imagine enjoying marriage.

I'd like to have a companion to pal around with, but I don't know if I could do the 24/7 kind of thing that marriage requires. I'm busy, I got stuff to do, and I need "alone" time sometimes.

 

[LadyBird]

I really want to get married some day...I wish that I was married now but I am only 18. I hope I will marry my boyfriend...I love him SO much...he is so wonderful. We want to get married but we'll wait a few years...at least 2 or 3 years.

 

[pinPoint]

you're not alone. Sometimes you feel that you are better of not getting married. I have felt that way too. So at the moment, im standing by to finish school then i will think about it all over. we respect your choice.

pin

 

[Hewitt]

I feel like this somedays...i'm on the opposite end on other days.

Well said.

 

[wvmtnkid]

I think you should do what you feel is right and what God has shown you He has for you to do. If that is not marry and you feel comfortable with that choice, than you should not marry. I was talking to my pastor one time about how do you know if you are called to be single. Through the conversation, he made a comment that has stuck with me. He said that if you felt like you didn't want to get married even when offered the choice, that could be a good indication that you were being called to be single. So, really, the answer lies with you, lambslove. If that is what you think God is calling you to be than step out in faith and answer his call. I am sure He will provide what you need in order to do so. But if it isn't, there is nothing wrong with that either. It all comes down to accepting God's best will for your life. Only you can do that.

 

[ZiSunka]

IHe said that if you felt like you didn't want to get married even when offered the choice, that could be a good indication that you were being called to be single.

Well, that could have a lot to do with the person making the offer, too. Just because you want to be married and someone proposes, it doesn't mean you should marry that guy, or that you are called to be single if you don't want to marry him. It could just be that you don't think he's a good fit or that he isn't good husband material or that now isn't the right time.

 

[DaveKerwin]

Let's remember that you are not given the gift of singleness by default because romance never worked for you. Singleness IS a gift, given by God, and he does not give it just because you struck out on the love scene. The gift is purposeful, and intentional.

No one should say they have this gift unless they really do. The Bible says that when we are married, our interests are divided between our spouse and God. The single person has the advantage in ministry because their devotion can be purely towards God, no divided interest. This is an honorable thing. Paul was very proud of his singleness and his serving Christ in that. So the gift is something you are called to, NOT something you get by default.

 

[venice]

Wow. I think it is so unselfish to stay single in order to devote your life to God. Sometimes, I feel I'm so ungrateful to think it's a little hard to follow the path God wants me to take. But, I'm human, and I know he forgives me.
On the marriage subject, I believe that one shouldn't be married until one trully feels complete on their own. A lot of us young people depend on others (sometimes unintentionally) to make us happy. I know I did! And although a spouse can make your life more joyfull and exciting, it's not gonna complete you. Sooo, I think a need a little more time to work on myself before I get married. Ofcourse, it'd be nice to have someone to share my passions with...

 

[Cherberrie]

On the marriage subject, I believe that one shouldn't be married until one trully feels complete on their own. A lot of us young people depend on others (sometimes unintentionally) to make us happy. I know I did! And although a spouse can make your life more joyfull and exciting, it's not gonna complete you. Sooo, I think a need a little more time to work on myself before I get married. Ofcourse, it'd be nice to have someone to share my passions with...

I think it is so great that you realize that! It took me forever, listening to my parents say, "You need to learn to be happy with yourself" over and over again until I finally got it. I was engaged once, and almost engaged another time, both times I realized it was not what God wanted for me. So I spent some time not dating, just hanging out with friends, meeting new people, and just learning who I am and who God wants me to be.

At this point, I think I'm ready to date again. I do question sometimes whether or not I want to be married, cause I am so set in my ways. However, I believe God has the right guy for me, someone I can share my life and love with, someone that will not only put up with my wackiness but will join in and spend fun, crazy times together.

 

[Donny_B]

On a more practical matter, health insurance at work for me is free as a single with no dependants. If I were to get married with dependants, I would lose those free benefits. A colleague at work recently had to change jobs because he could not afford the rising health insurance costs for his wife and family...he already works 2 jobs and for a time he was working 3 jobs. I make the same pay, but only need the 1 job to live comfortably within my means.

I am in no hurry to make a bad decision. It would have to be a situation I absolutely couldn't refuse. And hopefully she would be covered by her own insurance.

 

[Speedpilot122]

[
On the marriage subject, I believe that one shouldn't be married until one trully feels complete on their own...[/QUOTE]

You nailed it, venice! Excellent point.

 

[Speedpilot122]

oops, I screwed up the quote thingy.

 

[Cherberrie]

On a more practical matter, health insurance at work for me is free as a single with no dependants. If I were to get married with dependants, I would lose those free benefits. A colleague at work recently had to change jobs because he could not afford the rising health insurance costs for his wife and family...he already works 2 jobs and for a time he was working 3 jobs. I make the same pay, but only need the 1 job to live comfortably within my means.

I am in no hurry to make a bad decision. It would have to be a situation I absolutely couldn't refuse. And hopefully she would be covered by her own insurance.

I agree in that I believe it helps for a couple to be financially stable before they get married. The happiest, most well balanced married couple I know had a long engagement and made sure each of their finances was in a good place. I'll find the documentation if necessary, but I believe that most new marriages fail because of disagreements and stress over financial situations. Right now, I am working on my master's and my plans are to finish and get a good job before I get married. Of course, God's plan might be different from that.

 

[venice]

Yeah, there's a bunch of issues we need to look at before we take that HUGE STEP, including how life would FINANCIALLY when married. Love doesn't pay the rent, unfortunately.