I am so sick of having OCDD

[Aaliyah]

Ugh, I don't even know where to start. I am just so sick of having this everyday. It is so stupid too. I really do not even know what to say about it lol. It's just every little thing that I do I have to ask God if it is okay and if I don't I am so afraid that something horrible is going to happen. On top of that I feel like I get these little voices or whatever that I think are God telling me to do certain things which some of them...don't really seem like something that God would want me to do. It's like sometimes if I have a thought about doing something and then I HAVE to do it....it's so ridicuous. I am so afraid that everything I am going to do is going to be some big huge horrible mistake. Like writing this I feel like it is so pointless but since I already got the idea I HAVE to do it now.....I am just so sick of this I really do not know why God has me go trhough all of this stupid BS for no reason. If God is so forgiving and loving, why would I have to go through any of the stupidness that I go through?? Shouldn't I be so happy like I used to be if I have been forgiven?? I am just so afraid of everything now. And on top of that I am so depressed, like if I don't even do this OCD thing, then I am so depressed sometimes I think I only do it to have something exciting to do....and honestly I think that is why I started doing it I was just so depressed about everything and had no idea what to do so I started asking God what to do and it has turned into this!! I don't know why God hates me and doesn't want me to be happy...but I honestly can see no other cause for this I've never been this unhappy in my life. I just so wish that I could just not believe in God but it's so impossible for me to even do that anymore....so I have no idea what to do...

 

[Nickieb03]

I know how you feel right now. I sit here in my room and cry every night because I just can't take the OCD anymore. Pure O is getting too much and I pray and pray but it feels like God doesn't want to listen. I also start asking "If God loves me so much and cares about me so much and it's killing him to see me in pain then why is he doing it?" and then the thoughts and analyzing start and turns into a bigger problem. I read the bible every night before bed and I read about all these healings Jesus did to people and wonder why isn't he doing it to me? My uncle keeps telling me God gave us a cross to carry just like him and we have to suffer just like him but yet believe and I told him well why doesn't he just crucify me already because I had enough. My Pastor told me to keep praying..keep believing in God keep having faith but sometimes it feels like my faith is wearing thin and he told me no it's just being tested by the devil. Who knows maybe OCD is a form of the devil? Maybe it's a demon and we just believe it's a medical term. But keep praying...keep having faith...