Hello everyone, I'm Clementine, or Clemi, if you like. I am in an odd and scary situation, or maybe I just think it is scary because I am a coward. But anyways, I don't know where to begin, except to say that I am a shy person and I only have two best friends, so I am alone a lot. My parents are usually away on business trips, like my dad who invests in thoroughbreds, so he is usually traveling with them. My mom is also busy and burdened. So I spend a lot of time by myself.
Anyways, about ten months ago I was in a coffee shop near the finance district and I was feeling lonely. So there I was, when a handsome man came up to me and asked if he could sit with me, so I was polite and agreed. He ended up being very educated and successful in business, and we stayed in that shop for three hours, just talking, but on a scarily deep level, although he was practically a stranger! I talked to him about being lonely, and my parents being away, and being sad and guilty for being priveliged but not helping the world. He talked about also being lonely having just moved here, and how it was hard for him to trust women because he'd just been in a bad relationship.
We had such an amazing talk, and he said he thought I was a lovely girl, and that he wanted to see me again. Let me just say, nobody ever says that to me, I am kind of invisible to people. When he asked for my personal phone line, I told him again that I am only in tenth grade and 15, expecting him to be disinterested, but he wasn't. He called me that night, and we talked for hours.
We got a lot closer over the next few months, me meeting him after school in cafés, him taking me to dinner. All throughout the time, he often remarked that I looked beautiful. I'm not beautiful, really, I'm kind of skinny and underdeveloped, generic-looking. After a while, I started to think of him in a romantic way, and it was obvious that he did, too. Once I became his girl, he let me know that he is a man and that he has expectations for what I had to do for him. By then, the thought of losing him, the only person who cared about me, was the scariest thing ever.
Against my better judgment, I began doing all those things he told me to do. I would go to his apartment after school, but I never spent the night. Soon, what I was doing was not enough, I had to do more, and that was how it progressed.
I am very scared, because he is the only person who cares about me and will protect me, but I just am scared and feeling sad all the time and I don't know why. I am afraid of him and all men and it is stupid and I just don't know why.
See, there's this thing. He has had women betray him, you see, so he said I had to prove my loyalty to him, and I did that by letting him set up the video camera while I did those things I had to do or else he would leave me all alone. So I had to show him I was loyal, you see.
And now I am so afraid, because I know he will soon want me to do something that he talks of often, that I really do not want to do, because I am so scared. I suppose, he is right, and being scared of that is silly and dumb and childish. I mean, he liked me because he thought I was mature, and I suppose this is not very mature, to be such a coward like I am.
But you see, I have to, because he knows my secrets, more about me than anyone else, because over time I began to trust him. And I don't want to do those things, I never wanted to, you see. But now I want to stop but I can't tell and I can't disobey because I am a weak person without him, and he's the only person who cares about me to protect me from the bad people in the world.
So here lies my dilemma. I don't want to do those things anymore, but he will leave me all alone if I don't, or maybe take what I did for loyalty and hurt me. And I'm scared. Nobody will believe me, a girl, an ignorant girl, against him, a grown-up man who is rich and successful in business. He already says I can't tell or else I'd be all alone. What do I do? I am just so afraid, but he is the only person who cares about me, I just can't do it anymore. I'm so sorry. I am so sorry for everything, but I just can't. I'm sorry.
Anyways, about ten months ago I was in a coffee shop near the finance district and I was feeling lonely. So there I was, when a handsome man came up to me and asked if he could sit with me, so I was polite and agreed. He ended up being very educated and successful in business, and we stayed in that shop for three hours, just talking, but on a scarily deep level, although he was practically a stranger! I talked to him about being lonely, and my parents being away, and being sad and guilty for being priveliged but not helping the world. He talked about also being lonely having just moved here, and how it was hard for him to trust women because he'd just been in a bad relationship.
We had such an amazing talk, and he said he thought I was a lovely girl, and that he wanted to see me again. Let me just say, nobody ever says that to me, I am kind of invisible to people. When he asked for my personal phone line, I told him again that I am only in tenth grade and 15, expecting him to be disinterested, but he wasn't. He called me that night, and we talked for hours.
We got a lot closer over the next few months, me meeting him after school in cafés, him taking me to dinner. All throughout the time, he often remarked that I looked beautiful. I'm not beautiful, really, I'm kind of skinny and underdeveloped, generic-looking. After a while, I started to think of him in a romantic way, and it was obvious that he did, too. Once I became his girl, he let me know that he is a man and that he has expectations for what I had to do for him. By then, the thought of losing him, the only person who cared about me, was the scariest thing ever.
Against my better judgment, I began doing all those things he told me to do. I would go to his apartment after school, but I never spent the night. Soon, what I was doing was not enough, I had to do more, and that was how it progressed.
I am very scared, because he is the only person who cares about me and will protect me, but I just am scared and feeling sad all the time and I don't know why. I am afraid of him and all men and it is stupid and I just don't know why.
See, there's this thing. He has had women betray him, you see, so he said I had to prove my loyalty to him, and I did that by letting him set up the video camera while I did those things I had to do or else he would leave me all alone. So I had to show him I was loyal, you see.
And now I am so afraid, because I know he will soon want me to do something that he talks of often, that I really do not want to do, because I am so scared. I suppose, he is right, and being scared of that is silly and dumb and childish. I mean, he liked me because he thought I was mature, and I suppose this is not very mature, to be such a coward like I am.
But you see, I have to, because he knows my secrets, more about me than anyone else, because over time I began to trust him. And I don't want to do those things, I never wanted to, you see. But now I want to stop but I can't tell and I can't disobey because I am a weak person without him, and he's the only person who cares about me to protect me from the bad people in the world.
So here lies my dilemma. I don't want to do those things anymore, but he will leave me all alone if I don't, or maybe take what I did for loyalty and hurt me. And I'm scared. Nobody will believe me, a girl, an ignorant girl, against him, a grown-up man who is rich and successful in business. He already says I can't tell or else I'd be all alone. What do I do? I am just so afraid, but he is the only person who cares about me, I just can't do it anymore. I'm so sorry. I am so sorry for everything, but I just can't. I'm sorry.
