I feel like I'm going completely out of my mind. I mean, this comes and goes but today it's bad and I mean really bad. I can't sleep, I feel sick to my stomach, I'm shaking and I can't breathe and I keep crying for no reason. I"m losing it and I don't know how to stop that from happening. I need help but I don't even know what I need. It's my depression and my anxiety at least but it feels like something more. I'm not suicidal but I am going crazy. I'm hearing things and seeing things that aren't there, I'm having all sorts of awful thoughts and I just can't deal. All I want to do is curl up in bed and go to sleep but I can't do that.
And I want to be able to curl up in the arms of the guy I love and have him tell me that everything is okay, but he's not and it's not. He has his own burdens and I need him so much right now but I can't ask that of him and even if I could I don't know how. He doesn't understand, I don't even understand.
And I don't even think I know how to pray right now. I mean, I don't even want to be with myself, why would God want to deal with me? I know I should just give this to God and I'm trying but I don't know how. I'm desperate here. I'm having a total breakdown and I'm losing myself and I know if I fall then I won't be able to get back because I barely made it out last time and I'm so scared. I don't want to lose myself again. I don't know how to fix this.
Please help, pray for me, I don't know, just don't let me fall. Anyone, please.
-Hanaya

And I want to be able to curl up in the arms of the guy I love and have him tell me that everything is okay, but he's not and it's not. He has his own burdens and I need him so much right now but I can't ask that of him and even if I could I don't know how. He doesn't understand, I don't even understand.
And I don't even think I know how to pray right now. I mean, I don't even want to be with myself, why would God want to deal with me? I know I should just give this to God and I'm trying but I don't know how. I'm desperate here. I'm having a total breakdown and I'm losing myself and I know if I fall then I won't be able to get back because I barely made it out last time and I'm so scared. I don't want to lose myself again. I don't know how to fix this.
Please help, pray for me, I don't know, just don't let me fall. Anyone, please.
-Hanaya
