Soap Opera
The following letters were taken from an actual
Incident between a London hotel and one of its
Guests. The hotel submitted the letters to the
London Sunday Times for their humor column....
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those
Little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have
Brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the
Six unopened little bars from the shelf under the
Medicine chest and another three in the shower soap
Dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman -
---------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will
Be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took
The 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you
Requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of
Your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in
Case you should change your mind. This leaves only
The 3 bars I left today which my instructions from
The management is - to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope
This is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Maid, I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to
Her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got
Back to my room this evening I found you had added 3
Little Camays to the shelf under my medicine
Cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two
Weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I
Wont need those 6 little Camays which are on the
Shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing
Teeth, etc. Please remove them. S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman, My day off was last Wed. so the
Relief maid left 3 hotel soaps, which we are
Instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps
Which were in your way on the shelf and put them in
The soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in
The medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't
Remove the 3 complimentary soaps, which are always
Placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new
Check-ins and which you did not object to when you
Checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can
Of further assistance. Your regular maid, Dotty
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman, The assistant manager, Mr.
Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called
Him last evening and said you were unhappy with your
Maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your
Room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any
Past inconvenience. If you have any future
Complaints please contact me so I can give it my
Personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM
And 5PM. thank you.
Elaine Carmen Housekeeper
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Miss Carmen, It is impossible to contact you by
Phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45
AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. that's the
Reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were
Already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he
Could do anything about those little bars of soap.
The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was
A new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars
Of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her
Regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf.
In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little
Bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me? S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman, Your maid, Kathy, has been
Instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and
Remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further
Assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM
And 5PM.Thank you, Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Kensedder, My bath-size Dial is missing.
Every bar of soap was taken from my room including
My own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and
Had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little
Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman, I have informed our housekeeper,
Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot
Understand why there was no soap in your room since
Our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap
Each time they service a room. The situation will be
Rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies
For the inconvenience. Martin L. Kensedder Assistant
Manager
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs. Carmen, Who left 54 little bars of Camay
In my room? I came in last night and found 54 little
Bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay.
I want my one bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize
I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my
Bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size
Dial. S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman, You complained of too much soap in
Your room so I had them removed. Then you complained
To Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I
Personally returned them. The 24 Camays, which had
Been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to
Receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4
Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did
Not know I had returned your soaps so she also
Brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't
Know where you got the idea this hotel issues
Bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size
Ivory, which I left in your room. Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs. Carmen, Just a short note to bring you
Up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today
I possess: On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18
Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. On the
Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1
Stack of 3. On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3
Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and
8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. Inside the medicine
Cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of
2. In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. On
The northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet,
Slightly used. On the northwest corner of tub - 6
Camays in 2 stacks of 3. Please ask Kathy when she
Services my room to make sure the stacks is neatly
Piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that
Stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I
Suggest that my bedroom windowsill is not in use
And will make an excellent spot for future soap
Deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another
Bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the
Hotel vault in order to avoid further
Misunderstandings.
S. Berman
The following letters were taken from an actual
Incident between a London hotel and one of its
Guests. The hotel submitted the letters to the
London Sunday Times for their humor column....
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those
Little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have
Brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the
Six unopened little bars from the shelf under the
Medicine chest and another three in the shower soap
Dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman -
---------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will
Be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took
The 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you
Requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of
Your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in
Case you should change your mind. This leaves only
The 3 bars I left today which my instructions from
The management is - to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope
This is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Maid, I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to
Her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got
Back to my room this evening I found you had added 3
Little Camays to the shelf under my medicine
Cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two
Weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I
Wont need those 6 little Camays which are on the
Shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing
Teeth, etc. Please remove them. S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman, My day off was last Wed. so the
Relief maid left 3 hotel soaps, which we are
Instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps
Which were in your way on the shelf and put them in
The soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in
The medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't
Remove the 3 complimentary soaps, which are always
Placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new
Check-ins and which you did not object to when you
Checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can
Of further assistance. Your regular maid, Dotty
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman, The assistant manager, Mr.
Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called
Him last evening and said you were unhappy with your
Maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your
Room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any
Past inconvenience. If you have any future
Complaints please contact me so I can give it my
Personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM
And 5PM. thank you.
Elaine Carmen Housekeeper
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Miss Carmen, It is impossible to contact you by
Phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45
AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. that's the
Reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were
Already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he
Could do anything about those little bars of soap.
The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was
A new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars
Of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her
Regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf.
In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little
Bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me? S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman, Your maid, Kathy, has been
Instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and
Remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further
Assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM
And 5PM.Thank you, Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Kensedder, My bath-size Dial is missing.
Every bar of soap was taken from my room including
My own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and
Had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little
Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman, I have informed our housekeeper,
Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot
Understand why there was no soap in your room since
Our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap
Each time they service a room. The situation will be
Rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies
For the inconvenience. Martin L. Kensedder Assistant
Manager
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs. Carmen, Who left 54 little bars of Camay
In my room? I came in last night and found 54 little
Bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay.
I want my one bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize
I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my
Bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size
Dial. S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman, You complained of too much soap in
Your room so I had them removed. Then you complained
To Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I
Personally returned them. The 24 Camays, which had
Been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to
Receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4
Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did
Not know I had returned your soaps so she also
Brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't
Know where you got the idea this hotel issues
Bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size
Ivory, which I left in your room. Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs. Carmen, Just a short note to bring you
Up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today
I possess: On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18
Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. On the
Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1
Stack of 3. On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3
Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and
8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. Inside the medicine
Cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of
2. In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. On
The northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet,
Slightly used. On the northwest corner of tub - 6
Camays in 2 stacks of 3. Please ask Kathy when she
Services my room to make sure the stacks is neatly
Piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that
Stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I
Suggest that my bedroom windowsill is not in use
And will make an excellent spot for future soap
Deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another
Bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the
Hotel vault in order to avoid further
Misunderstandings.
S. Berman
