How to walk into a church for the first time?

[Sketcher]

Thanks for the replies everyone! Sorry if this is a dumb question, but how do you make friends at a church if you mostly sit and listen? I don't have any friends in the states since I moved from Israel and hope to connect with people at my local church.

The larger the church, the more intentional you need to be about it, simply because of all the people. My church is large, we have smaller classes that meet Sunday and small groups that meet during the week that people need to inquire about, as well as serving opportunities - anything to pare down the sheer number of people you need to wade through. If a church is small, you've already got that smaller group and people tend to get to know each other much more naturally. It's perfectly normal to me for new people to come into my small men's group who didn't previously know anyone. Some stay, some do not. Another good opportunity - lunch after church. If the church is organizing a lunch, it could be as simple as going to it. People need to sit down at tables to eat, and that is where a number of people meet.

 

[thesunisout]

Title says it all!

Every church is different, but what you want to know is whether the church is led by the Spirit. Keep your spiritual ears open and listen for the voice of the Lord to confirm whether this is the right church for you. Keep praying and seek and look for the Lords peace in it

 

[Deadworm]

Years of pastoral experience have taught me 2 vital lessons about how to act when you attend a church for the first time:

(1) If the pulpit is elevated on high like it is is many Reformed churches, don't sit near the front. You will get drenched by spit coming from the mouth of your pastor when he feels really anointed in his preaching. I was preached from an uplifted pulpit like that and, after my inspired sermon, as I waiting for my well-deserved applause by the sanctuary doors, an annoyed lady informed me that I had spit on her from lofty heights! On the other hand, sitting under an elevated pulpit would have been the best way to see the show, when a young pastor I know preached his sermon from a lofty pulpit he wasn't used to. This young preacher was accustomed to roving around the platform for dramatic effect. So in his first Sunday in that high pulpit, he inadvertently stepped backwards and fell down the stairs rear end over tea kettle. He got up gasping and groaning and continued the sermon he'd started. I doubt that anyone forget his sermon that dramatic day!

(2) Don't sit down until the service is about to start. A visiting couple made that mistake in a church I pastored and were asked to vacate their seats by an elderly couple who warned that they had been sitting there for 50 years and weren't about to be unseated by some new whippersnappers! As an aside, I have often thought it would be fun to note all those who are obsessed with sitting in the same seats every week and then ask other members with a sense of humor to come early and sit in precisely those seats! A funny way to start a riot!

 

[~Anastasia~]

It's not a very friendly reception when you get asked to move because you're in someone's seat. It can be tempting to think things we ought not to think. If there are pews, sitting toward the middle instead of right on the end can help prevent this problem.

I have another side of the story though that I don't know if I'll be able to express well. When I first came to my current Church, I took a seat just inside the door at the end of a pew. I think I only say there for one service. No one said anything to me until a couple of months later, and by then I knew a very dear sweet old widower gentleman who truly devotes his life to the Church, especially having lost his wife and daughter. He didn't say a thing to me, but I didn't realize that was his seat, and he sat there so that he could help with the doors and other things that needed doing at the entrance. The lady who told me said that he had sat there with his wife and daughter for many decades, and when I was in their spot, he was a bit lost and didn't know what to do. I'm not sure where he sat or if he did, since I didn't know and wasn't watching. Like I said, he never mentioned it to me. But knowing him now, and his kindness and devotion, I regret that I distressed him even in a small and unintentional way.

Sometimes people seem unkind or stubborn, but sometimes it's something else. Sitting there for him represented both his duty to the Church as well as shared history with the wife and daughter he lost. That may be a rare case, but I just wanted to mention it, because we might never know.

 

[Derek Meyer]

Title says it all!

As a Calvinist, like me, the first time I walked into a Catholic Church was daunting. It was for a funeral. Take a friend and follow his/hear lead. Do practice to simulate a cross on your forehead, arms and torso beforehand, though.

 

[Kristen Davis]

Unfortunately, I don't have anyone to come with me. What do you do at church, what is it like?

You can come alone and listen as the preacher discusses personal sacrifices as outlined in leviticus and exodus. We each have our own personal sacrifices and must give an account for on Judgement Day (Romans).

 

[2Timothy2:15]

If right after song/worship service the first thing is taking up a tithe walk out. That church, Pastor is a hireling and the message is already compromised and fully motivated by money and the "pastors" salary.

 

[GreekOrthodox]

Walk in and do a little moonwalk, and be like, "What's up people of the most High, I've come to join in the celebration!" Hire a choir singing "This little light of mine" accompanied with lit candles swaying back and forth, walk behind you as you dance your way to a seat and be like, "I am ready to serve the Lord!!! I'm hungry for the Word! Oooooh Yeaaaah, Praise the Lord!!!" as the choir slowly leaves the sanctuary, turn to your seat mates and be like, "Brother, I'm so happy to shake your blessed hand!" Shake that hand as if it is the last handshake you will ever have!!!!

Well that's the OBVIOUS way to do it

 

[~Anastasia~]

If right after song/worship service the first thing is taking up a tithe walk out. That church, Pastor is a hireling and the message is already compromised and fully motivated by money and the "pastors" salary.

I understand your feelings, but you are making a blanket judgement of the motives of every pastor whose church passes an offering plate? Is it the "tithe" you object to, the placement during the order of service, or the fact that they ask for money at all? If you don't suppose they should ask for money at all, who do you think should pay to keep the lights on?

The early Church took up an offering as well, though it was used for the sake of all who had need. The Levites of the OT were supported by the people because they were not given an inheritance if their own and served God and the people.

Many churches make many mistakes in this area, but the connection of money and church is not automatically evil.

 

[Blade]

WHY are you going? He is there....go for and to see hear HIM.

 

[JordanFireStar]

I recommend literally walking in, listening to the sermon, talk to some people, make some new friends (most people at church are very friendly). Many churches have a first time form you can fill out and get something special. If you like that church you could talk to some staff and let them know that your new there and that you enjoy their church and are looking forward to coming back more. Most churches are very accepting, don't be nervous.

If you want to stick to yourself and are shy, you could do that to, you don't have to talk to anyone.

 

[2Timothy2:15]

I understand your feelings, but you are making a blanket judgement of the motives of every pastor whose church passes an offering plate? Is it the "tithe" you object to, the placement during the order of service, or the fact that they ask for money at all? If you don't suppose they should ask for money at all, who do you think should pay to keep the lights on?

The early Church took up an offering as well, though it was used for the sake of all who had need. The Levites of the OT were supported by the people because they were not given an inheritance if their own and served God and the people.

Many churches make many mistakes in this area, but the connection of money and church is not automatically evil.

I did not say anything about "offerings". That is why I specified tithe, it is not the same thing. If a pastor is telling people to tithe specifically then yes, he is compromised. He is either willingly deceptive or ignorant, in either case he is not qualified and should not be listened to.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I did not say anything about "offerings". That is why I specified tithe, it is not the same thing. If a pastor is telling people to tithe specifically then yes, he is compromised. He is either willingly deceptive or ignorant, in either case he is not qualified and should not be listened to.

That's why I asked if it was specifically "tithe" you objected to (among other possibilities). Your initial post left some room for doubt, at least in the case of some maybe, so I wanted to be sure what you meant. Some others might have wanted to know too. Thank you for the reply.

 

[Sketcher]

If right after song/worship service the first thing is taking up a tithe walk out. That church, Pastor is a hireling and the message is already compromised and fully motivated by money and the "pastors" salary.

I personally disagree with that. I think it is better to have the offering before the sermon rather than after so that people wouldn't feel guilted or manipulated into giving. If you're going to have the offering before the sermon, there's not a lot of time after the songs where you can squeeze it in.

 

[Greg J.]

Title says it all!

You can go to any Christian church worth its salt by just going in, sitting down at the back, and not moving until you want to leave. You don't have to stand when they stand, kneel when they kneel, give money when they give money, or sing when they sing. You don't have to know anything. If you want to understand something, then you can ask someone, but keep in mind that some of the people there are probably not all that different from you in their knowledge or attendance of church. (You could look for someone official, including the pastor, or someone older sitting near the front.)

Keep in mind that God's purpose for the church is to help you connect directly with God. Your personal one-on-one connection is all-important. Church is an opportunity for a community of people to connect with God. Our ultimate goal is not to do church or religion right, it is to grow in our connection to the very real and active God (knowing about him, worshiping him, serving him, knowing him, etc.).

 

[Jonathan Leo]

Title says it all!

With the 2 legs God gave you

 

[LoveofTruth]

if you didnt want to be in church, you could sit and watch the service from the coffee shop TV.

If anyone is a believer they are in the body of Christ , the “church”.

Modern forms of religion today have gone so far away from the church and the function of the church under Christ headship

Ephesians 4:15,16, 1 Cor 14:26-38, 1 Peter 4:10,22, Colossians 3:15,16 etc etc

 

[Kristen Davis]

Unfortunately, I don't have anyone to come with me. What do you do at church, what is it like?

A place of peace, restoration, and to get saved for the first time if you are ready to let Jesus in.

 

[Bobber]

Pray to God in sincerity asking him where in the body of Christ he'd like you to be. (meaning what Church he'd like you to attend) Don't hesitate to go to a few and in so doing you can get that feeling of where you connect. We're not always quick to know these things so don't feel rushed or under compulsion that your decision has to be as in right now as in a final decision. God says he that believeth shall not make haste. (Isaiah 28:16) Take your time. The main thing is is that you're starting a process of wanting to merge into fellowship with a gathering of believers. I find it interesting though how people do make assessments....they visit a new church and after leaving they check off the boxes....were the people loving and friendly? Perhaps some need to consider the very reason a place may not be loving and friendly might be the reason God wants you to go there. For those who are spiritually mature that may be the very place God wants you to go so you can strengthen the body and be a blessing to them helping their characters to mature as more Christ like. It shouldn't be just how THEY make you feel or how they're doing everything totally right...it's what is God's mission for you and where can you best serve to be a blessing to others.

 

[Erickem]

- Be ready to shake at least a few hands.