All this boils down to the fact that it is natural, given how human minds work and their limitations, to come to a general model of reality that says all that is "mind" emerges from all that is "reality." This is more or less how we are taught to think, and we would probably come to that model on our own even if we weren't constantly taught that.
We are trained by example to look for language about reality that removes us from it, and then looks for us to spring from it, without leaving any mark on it, intentionally ignoring the easily demonstrable fact that even the successful use of language, itself, relies on a lifetime of interaction between how we think and perceive. We simply choose to forget that if our minds were very different, the way we would make sense of our reality would also be very different, despite the mountain of evidence of people with very different minds describing the nature of reality very differently.
So the common model is, it's all the same reality, it's completely objective, everything relating to our minds emerges from that reality without any interaction with it, and then in some kind of final step to the process our minds enter and introduce variations from person to person in how they think about that pre-existing reality. The model is, mind dependent models spring from a mind independent (or 'physical') reality, but only that mind independent, (or 'physical'), reality actually exists.
And where it all falls apart is when one asks the simple question: "So when you personally talk about reality, including what is going on in your life, or what matter is made of, or the laws of physics, or how did humans evolve, or what is the difference between right and wrong, or what gets you out of bed in the morning, are you talking about that mind independent, 'physical' thing you believe in, or your mind dependent model that you say sprung from it?"
Just answer that, and then revisit what you mean by "what actually exists". While you're at it, I can ask, do you exist, and if so, does that require that you be some kind of mind independent 'physical' reality?