How to not turn people off to God...

[LuminousFive]

First and foremost, this post is not meant to offend anyone, it is meant to give you a different perspective.

I have been witnessed to in many different ways, from people holding up signs of pictures of "hell" to being shouted at and being told I'm a sinner and need to repent or risk eternal damnation, to the now very popular list of questions "have you ever stolen, have you ever lied... etc". I am here to tell you that almost all of these methods turn people off. Let me tell you what goes through the mind of the average person who is approached by one of these "you are a sinner" method witnesses... "Oh crap, now I have to deal with this idiot" They are turned off from the begining.

Being a witness is not so simple that you can walk up to someone, ask/tell them that they are a sinner, tell them that god will forgive them and move on... The average person thinks of this as a minor inturruption in their day.

Some guidelines...first and foremost stop telling people they are sinners. How would you like it if someone walked up to you and told you that you are a terrible person? Telling people that they are inherently bad people right off the bat is a great way to make them tune out to everything you say after that. An alternative? Walk up to someone and see if you can ask them a few questions...

"Hi I'm John, Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?"
"Sure"
"First, Whats your name?"
"Dave"
"Nice to meet you Dave"
"Dave, would you consider yourself religious?"

Now here is where you actually have to start using your brain...

"No, I'm an athiest, or yes I'm Hindu (or whatever)?"
"Would you mind telling me a little about why you don't believe in God?/Why you believe in your religion?"
"Sure, I dont believe in god because of 'X'"

Listen to what he/she has to say. People actually do have reasons for what they believe. Then I usually tell them why I am a Christian. "I'm a Christian because of Gods amazing love for me, not because I am a sinner, not because I'm worried about going to hell, but because God created me I appreciate the fact that I'm even alive, and for that God deserves my worship. I honor God by having a relationship with His son Jesus Christ."

Then I follow that by asking them if there is anything really tough going on in their life.

"Dave, is there anything going on in your life that is really tough to deal with? Stress from work, an upcoming test at school, a girlfriend problem, because I would like to pray for you."
"Right now?"
"If you want, or if not I can pray for you later."
"Well, I don't think so.../Yeah work problems (or whatever)"

Either pray for him, or If he isn't interested tell him that it was really nice talking to him and you hope he has a good day.

Voila! You have just witnessed to someone without turning them off to God. You didn't even have to call him a sinner.

The essence of God is his love. Grace is important. There is no doubt about that, but what people need is to see that God loves them and wants them. Get people thinking about Jesus, let them see God's amazing love in you, and repentance will follow. Tell people about God's love and perfection and they will soon realize their own shortcomings and imperfections.

Love in Christ,
John

 

[clonenomore]

There are so many great points in this post, that it is hard to to narrow it down to the most important one. But I think that this says it all:

The essence of God is his love. Grace is important. There is no doubt about that, but what people need is to see that God loves them and wants them. Get people thinking about Jesus, let them see God's amazing love in you, and repentance will follow. Tell people about God's love and perfection and they will soon realize their own shortcomings and imperfections...

God loves ALL people. We are ALL His children. Look at Jonah 4:11. Jonah, a religious bigot, was asked to go to Ninevah to preach the gospel. He didn't want to go, because those folks were not like him. Well, I think you know what happened: he ran the other way, got on a boat, got in a storm, got blamed for the storm, got thrown overboard, got swallowed by a big fish, decided that Ninevah wasn't such a bad place, got puked up on the beach, and finally went to Ninevah. There, he didn't even put his full effory into it, but people listened anyway. Then Jonah got mad because God didn't destroy the city. What did God say? "Shouldn't those people matter to me?"

I have just enough redneck in me that if you walked up and said, "You know what? You're a no-good sinner who's going to hell!" I'd probably knock you out. And that's what happened. I was downright nasty to those folks that said things like that. Finally, someone told me that God loved me. That got me interested. That person also said that he loved me for who I was. That got my attention even more. I was being accepted! I wasn't being told, "Go clean up, and then come back!"

God used that encounter to pull me back to the path that He had laid out for me. And that's the approach that I take. All people matter to God, so they MUST matter to me.

 

[Willo]

Its good to see you have a heart interested in sharing your faith, can I reconmend an audio that helped me in witnessing www.livingwaters.com there is a free audio on their called 'Hells Best Kept Secret"

 

[LuminousFive]

after listening to "hell's best kept secret" I am even further convinced that his method of evangelism turns people off to God. STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE SINNERS! TELL THEM ABOUT HOW MUCH GOD LOVES THEM PLEASE!!! If you give people a reason to to explore faith. When you tell someone that they are a sinner, even if you first explain what it means to sin, people just think you are criticizing them. If you instead tell them about how awesome it is that God created you they will be more likely to go home and explore what it is you are talking about. They think... "huh? that guy really seemed to be at peace with the world. whats different about him? he talked about how God loves him... maybe I should check that out!"

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

This is a good subject that is this post b/c this can easily happen that is turning people over and don't just go up to someone ask God to give you the words to say to the person.

 

[hiumble1]

the only problem is this.....
I was a catholic... then became christian then left.... why??
because I was lied to or better yet.... the message was watered down...
I was told God Loves me Jesus Loves me.... and that all is well with my life if I would just believe in Jesus... he brings eternal happines, eternal love, eternal joy, he will be your best friend for life, he will bring you with him to heaven to be by his side... COOL! I'm in (person: really?, that is awesome see you in church) [this is an awesome retirement plan]
The next problem I had was my life didn't get better.... some of the things they would say would end up be them changing their minds and recant and say well now we believe it to mean..... I was now mad, Very Mad!... I didn't want to have anything to do with the Bible or Christians.... they were nothing but hypocrites...
It took me over 6 years to come back around full circle when someone witnessed to me and explained to me what sin is, and how everyone in the world is held by the diseption of how good it is and do not understand the ultimate outcome. I listened intently and cried, why didn't anyone ever tell me this, I felt like I just waisted the whole of my life because someone was more concerned about me liking them then me hearing the truth. To this day I still pray for God to release me from the agravation of hearing someone lie to someone when witnessing or explaining christianity, cause there is no bigger Diservice somone can do than to hold back the whole truth

the message you give is NO WHERE IN THE BIBLE!!!!! God Loves us So HE SENT SENT HIS SON (WHY?)
WE ARE PROMISED PERSECUTION, TEMPTATION, TRIBULATION
Like a physician you must have a good bed side manner.... Must always be concerned and compassionate, But if the World loves you because of you words, you better check your words.... For Jesus The World HATES me because I testify Against it, WHY?
SIN....
Better to find a way to explain sin to someone and get them to understand (and if they feel as though you are being High and mighty, remember you to have sinned and need the great physician)
Read when Jesus spoke with the Young Rich Man... The Lady at the Well...
Read Anywhere in the 4 Gospels when Jesus Spoke he was always talking in terms of the LAW and Are healing from our breaking of it....
Time is running out.... do not be so concerned about everyone Loving God be more concerned about GOD KNOWING YOU and JESUS KNOWING YOU because you speak his truth. Let him be concerned about Them Loving Him.... For he will say well done good and faithfull servant

 

[wiggsfly]

STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE SINNERS! TELL THEM ABOUT HOW MUCH GOD LOVES THEM PLEASE!!!

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

That's right you have to tell the good and the bad some ppl get turned away when ppl say God loves you they are looking for the catch which is you will go through maybe more or less but it disen't matter b/c you will have him to help you out.

 

[LuminousFive]

To Quote myself...

The essence of God is his love. Grace is important. There is no doubt about that, but what people need is to see that God loves them and wants them. Get people thinking about Jesus, let them see God's amazing love in you, and repentance will follow. Tell people about God's love and perfection and they will soon realize their own shortcomings and imperfections.

I am in NO way suggesting, that people don't need to hear about God's amazing forgivness of our sins. What I am saying, is that telling a non-believer that they are a sinner is like yelling at a newborn puppy to sit. First of all, they don't know what it means, and secondly, you are scaring that dog away from a relationship with you. If you first teach the dog that you love it, then it will want to be obedient.

My analogy isnt perfect, but the point is that you (hiumble1) already knew God loved you. You had been told that over and over, so the message of God's grace made sense to you. To somone who has never heard that God loves and wants them, the first reaction to "You are a sinner" is that person is full of hate.

Love in Christ,
John

 

[clonenomore]

I am in NO way suggesting, that people don't need to hear about God's amazing forgivness of our sins. What I am saying, is that telling a non-believer that they are a sinner is like yelling at a newborn puppy to sit. First of all, they don't know what it means, and secondly, you are scaring that dog away from a relationship with you. If you first teach the dog that you love it, then it will want to be obedient.

My analogy isnt perfect, but the point is that you (hiumble1) already knew God loved you. You had been told that over and over, so the message of God's grace made sense to you. To somone who has never heard that God loves and wants them, the first reaction to "You are a sinner" is that person is full of hate.....

I disagree -- your analogy is PERFECT for this! You are right. Too often we don't preach the grace of God. God wants ALL of His children to come to know Him. How can that happen if we push folks away? I know -- I was pushed away for 23 years.

There's the story of the young preacher that came to town full of a desire to "save" everybody in town. So he took to riding the city's buses carrying a family Bible big enough to choke a goat. He would wave that Bible around telling folks to "repent or perish". One day, an inebriated man got on the bus. The man was dirty and unlempt. He sat down, and the young preacher saw his chance. He jumped up, waved that big Bible in the drunk's face, and shouted "Did you know you're headed to hell?!!!!" The drunk looked up, and muttered, "I'm on the wrong bus again!"

Sometimes the way that we present the Great News of the Gospel leads to misunderstandings. The way that we present the news leads to closed minds -- and closed minds are not receptive to the movement of the Holy Spirit.

Many of us live in the margins of life -- outside societal norms. Those of us in the margins of life have become untrusting of anything that smacks of religion. We have to bring people in with the message of God's grace -- we have to live the message of God's love. That's the only thing that will work.

After we have the attention and trust of folks, then we can talk about sin and true repentance.

 

[hiumble1]

GOd is also Just, Righteous, Holy....

To focus on god is love with those who do not have a right standing with him is not helping.... For they will God of wrath at the time of judgement if they are still found in their sins (check the Bible)...

 

[LuminousFive]

Ok... I have obviously gone way over your head. I just said that repenting of your sins is important. We will be judged and getting right with God is important. You missed the point of my original post. The point was... if you want people to get right with God then the best way to lead them there is by his love. After they have dared to explore God then they will Repent and get right with him, so that when the judgement happens, they will have repented of their sins.

By the way, as a sidenote, I really like the quote you have in your sig.

Love in Christ,
John Owens

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

Amen hope your question got answered God bless

 

[WashedClean]

Showing others love and God's love is our call as Christians. We have to remember that it's the Holy Spirit that convicts the world of sin, not us. Can God use us to do this? Of course! I hate watered down gospel messages that don't teach repentance. The key is balancing God's love with the fact that He's Holy and righteous. He is equally both. The worst thing is when people start thinking of God as a friend (I'm speaking of non-Christians) like he exists to make us happy.

I think Luminous is making an excellent point though. Start off with the love part, not the "you're a sinner headed for hell" part. I loved your analogy about the puppy / owner relationship. Dogs that are obedient have a healthy fear of their masters.

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

Washed clean I agree with you I like the way you quoted it and wrote what you felt and the way you did it God bless

 

[Snashin]

Original post removed - and moved to another section.

Seeking and Loving God with all my heart, all my soul, and all my strength,
--Snashin

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

I don't think you have and I would be happy to go there and help out as I can.

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

But sorry I have to get offf now it's 12.34 a.m I am getting off b/c I have church in the moring I will check before I go when I get back and at the very lastest Moday. God bless

 

[Snashin]

Thank you. I received a PM from another poster that was very helpful. I look forward to your reply and/or assistance.

Snashin

 

[jess91877]

I agree, but also disagree with the original poster. Christ dies for our sins, so we shall not perish but have everlasting life. Without the mention of sin, we would not have known why Jesus came and died for us. This is very important for new believers, because without Christ we can not be "Christians". I don't believe in saying "you are a sinner, you are going to hell", that is very harsh to a non-believer, but it should be mentioned that we are not perfect, only one man was, and his name was Jesus...he loves all of us!