Oncedeceived
Senior Veteran
First, let me note that I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this post or it's even allowed in these forums in general. If it shouldn't be here, I'd ask a mod to move it to the right forum or delete it.
This is a personal story, and one I think worth telling, but as a personal story when I use any possibly controversial terms such as science, evolution, christianity, decency, or critical thinking the definitions I'm using are mine.
I grew up in an atheist household. Religion wasn't really talked about. Around the time I was graduating high school and starting college, when I was younger and stupider than I even am now, I became really aware of my atheism and my lack of conviction in it. So I set out to explore religion.
When it came to christianity, my exploration became intertwined with the loudest and most evangelical group of christians in my area. They told me that in order to be a christian, I would have to believe that the earth was 6,000 years old, that evolution wasn't science, that the big bang never happened, that basically all of the facts, ideas, and reasoning tools I had grown up adoring must be thrown out. Unsurprisingly, I rejected them instead.
The worst part, the part where my immaturity led me astray, was that I believed them when they told me that they stood for christianity. I believed them when they said there was no compatibility between christianity and what I called critical thinking. And I generalized, more or less, their beliefs to all christians.
This led to some years of my entertaining very silly ideas, wherein I regarded all christians as superstitious fools incapable of a coherent belief system. I've met more reasonable believers since then, and they helped disabuse me of these notions, but none communicated as deep and thorough an integration of science, critical thinking, decency, and christianity as I've learned is possible from reading these boards. I think if my first substantial interaction with evangelism had been with a mature, intelligent theistic evolutionist I could be a christian today. As it stands now, I've reopened the possibility. I don't expect to convert, but if enough questions get answered in a way that resonates with me I may.
That is, of course, unless it is impossible to both believe in strongly supported scientific theories such as evolution and be christian. In that case, I ain't ever getting saved.
I am glad that you are open minded enough to consider the possibility of Christian faith and reason. It is very easy when one is new to anything that the chance of being lead by the nose by those who are in "authority.
I think the first step, and maybe others have said this in this thread, (because I didn't read through it before posting) is reaching out to Jesus. That is the threshold to the answer to all your questions. I know that until you have that knowledge of His existence it is very easy to be swayed this way and that. Bottom line, Christianity is a relationship with Christ. Creation/evolution/age of the earth and all that is totally meaningless without that. Don't worry about people, Christian or non-believer, telling you what to believe. Don't worry about giving up your understanding of the world because it will all be worked out. If you decide to open your life over to Christ then feel free to message me and we can talk privately. I'll be praying for you.
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