How should Christians educate the youth on sexual issues?

[Zoii]

I believe they would in general have a much different view on the subject that you or Society would.

Ignorant not in the sense of walking around without a clue, NO I don't believe in the setting I expressed, they are as ignorant as one might believe, it's a totally different mind set.

Now there are children who profess to be Christians that don't have or follow Christianity as closely as those I have spoken of, they are no different than those children who are not Christians, they are ships without a rudder.

So what would you have them hear? What would you include or exclude of the following:

• The biology of the penis, vagina, fertility and pregnancy.
• The sex act including foreplay.
  
• Religious and secular concepts of sexual behaviour
• Recognising grooming
• Sex and the law... Including sexting
• How to report unwanted sexual behaviour.
• Rape, consent, abuse.
• Boys need to hear what's coercion, and what yes and no means.
• Contraception
• inappropriate contentography and the law and its effect on your brain.
• Pregnancy and options
• STIs
• Homosexuality bisexuality trans and genetic gender dysmorphia

If you would have Christians ignorant of any of these topics, could you explain why please.

 

[Zoii]

The Moral compass of the child raised in a Christian home and Church environment have a greater understanding of the Moral ramifications concerning the issues surrounding and in conjunction with the Issue of Promiscuity (Sex before Marriage), it is a totally different outlook on the subject for totally different reasons than that of Secular Society,

I have thought about what you have said here. If what you say is true - why is the prevalence of sexual misconduct convictions and domestic violence no better in the conservative Christian cohort than that of secular society? What's gone wrong? - because I believe that you wrote your reply in good faith and truly believe what you say - so why are the outcomes in the areas I mentioned not better than any other sector of society?

 

[JIMINZ]

If you define sin as being "wicked. Improper. Evil."Then no. Sex is a natural consequence of our DNA and providing the individuals are mentally competent and the act is consensual and without duress, then there is nothing wrong with it. That said both parties also must understand there are obligations too - pregnancy and STIs being amongst them.

That is exactly what I was pointing at, it is a completely different mind set, where Society believes everything is ok as long as everyone is happy and consenting.

Christians believe there are ramifications even if Pregnancy, or the dreaded STDs don't rear their ugly heads.

That is the Moral code which influences the actions of Christians, they are constantly questioning the Moral aspects of their actions.

Christianity is not what Christians do or don't do, Christianity is life itself more than just a lifestyle someone may profess, it's what they are.

I have many friends who are in relationships. There is absolutely nothing immoral, evil, or wicked about them. They are highly intelligent, kind and altruistic human beings.

It has nothing at all to do with any of that, if you don't believe it to be a Moral issue I cannot convince you otherwise.

I truly dislike the convention of picking on someone's personal life, where they do no harm, practice love and kindness...yet the finger is firmly pointed at them by "moral" groups who will say "You're wrong and I am better than you".

No one is saying they are better than you, it's your perception of what they are saying, you don't like the idea that someone might say no I won't do that because it is wrong, or immoral and you don't think or believe it is.

The have just as much right to voice their beliefs as you do, just because you do not like what they might say does not mean they are pointing their bony finger of persecution in your direction.

 

[JIMINZ]

I have thought about what you have said here. If what you say is true - why is the prevalence of sexual misconduct convictions and domestic violence no better in the conservative Christian cohort than that of secular society? What's gone wrong? - because I believe that you wrote your reply in good faith and truly believe what you say - so why are the outcomes in the areas I mentioned not better than any other sector of society?

Just because someone professes to be a Christian does not mean they are as committed to living the life they should be living for one who does profess such a thing.

They are Christians in name only but they do not outwardly demonstrate the fruit a Christian should......as you have so aptly described.

 

[JIMINZ]

.......

 

[MyLifeForChrist]

If what you say is true - why is the prevalence of sexual misconduct convictions and domestic violence no better in the conservative Christian cohort than that of secular society? What's gone wrong? ..so why are the outcomes in the areas I mentioned not better than any other sector of society?

Please define: "the conservative Christian cohort".
Example: Even the most high profile and conservative of Christian 'cohorts' in the Catholic faith (priests) have been tearing down your argument for centuries. If you do not (obviously) understand the true nature of the (d)evil or anything concerning man's collective after-the-fall struggle since?
You will blindly blame God's teachings, as you have above, while claiming his very simple words and outcomes regarding this topic to be "..no better than any other sector in society..".
You have obviously not been around enough children or adults truly raised in the Christian faith properly to count the overwhelming percentage within (may we pray for and may God help the lower common denominator presently) who are much better for the effort.

 

[MyLifeForChrist]

Nice try? I'm not a Christian so tbh the concept of drawing an imaginary line, calling it virginity and linking it to one's 'self esteem' is making a fuss out of nothing. Does your version of abstinence education include the information and protections I mentioned above? if not, how does it in anyway equip them for the reality of life?

The link between abstinence and self esteem is not an imaginary one. I wish that I could convince also that the link between your claiming Jesus Christ as your personal savior and then rejoicing every day that he has died on the cross for your sins to getting off this planet alive was more clear as well.
I am prating right now that those two links are made in your life whether the former iis relevant or not (remember, we are all sinners every single day and all fall short of the glory of God) as the moment of the latter will be a release from literally everything like no other.

 

[Zoii]

Even the most high profile and conservative of Christian 'cohorts' in the Catholic faith (priests) have been tearing down your argument for centuries.

Well that's not a very good example is it, given the level of sexual misconduct from that particular cohort. And not just Catholic but evangelist pastors and reverends of protestants.

If you do not (obviously) understand the true nature of the (d)evil or anything concerning man's collective after-the-fall struggle since?

You dont have to be a Christian to understand moral-ethical philosophy and values. I dont require the bible to understand that domestic violence is criminal and immoral, nor paedophilia for example.

You will blindly blame God's teachings, as you have above, while claiming his very simple words and outcomes regarding this topic to be "..no better than any other sector in society..".

I differ to you - I don't make blind comments without factual research to back me up. So please don't apply insults by saying I blindly blame - I research the facts before I comment. So:


I didn't mention Gods teaching in the quotation you cited.
As to the outcomes of child abuse, domestic violence or paedophilia being no better than secular cohorts - that's a point of fact and has zero to do with an opinion - would you like me to provide the research sources? Heres a couple:
Violence Against Women and the Role of Religion Rev. Dr. Marie M. Fortune and Rabbi Cindy G. Enger

Religious Involvement and Domestic Violence among U.S. Couples
Christopher G. Ellison and Kristin L. Anderson
Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion

The verdict on domestic violence data and the Church: Believe the women

As for child sexual abuse - I can refer you to the Royal Commission on Institutional Child Sexual Abuse.

You have obviously not been around enough children or adults truly raised in the Christian faith properly to count the overwhelming percentage within (may we pray for and may God help the lower common denominator presently) who are much better for the effort.

I'm not sur how you are measuring what constitutes being "much better" for children. What are your objective measures of that.

I would suggest measures of love and intimacy and nurturing with children are appropriate to measure and they are objectives to be found in good parents of any religion or atheist background - they are not isolated to Christianity.

 

[The_wanderer 40]

Just a quick observation here. How about we bring the discussion back to what the Bible says about Christian behavior? Not about what people, including Christians, say and/or do. The Bible is our standard of behavior. Our standard is not what other people do. Christian parents are to teach their children what the Bible says about sex and about the consequences of not following that standard. And the discussion should include everything on your list, Zoii, from a Biblical perspective. It is far better to be open and honest about all of this than it is to keep the kids ignorant. The bottom line is, there is a standard and it is God's standard. And it is up to each individual to choose to follow God and Christ in all areas, including sexuality.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Hi Phil
I wasnt speaking in epistemological terms - rather I was reflecting on the discussions and thoughts of friends and associates from my generation. I appreciate thats hardly a research base, but I'm quite confident its none the less accurate for at least 80% of my generation. We just dont see the sex-act as a "wrong" unless it has occurred through force, subjugation or duress of any type.

Well, that's fair, I suppose. I guess you and I are kind of talking 'cross-culturally' in a sense, and that could be because this thread isn't about what should be universally taught for Sex Education, but what people (from various angles) may think that Christians should teach as sex-education. Then, too, I would say my view on this topic probably includes, but transcends, both the typical fundamentalistic and often paltry level which this form of education can take in various church settings but also that which is promoted on the Secular front as well.

I mean, in addition to the list you've made--which is a good one by the way--we also have to recognize that for a Christian to be a Christian, they do have to realize that at least the theological concept of them "... not being their own person, but belonging instead [whole person] to Christ." So, that teaching alone could and should 'temper' the ways in which the whole subject of human sexuality and its attending cultural mores and so on will be expressed, thought about and applied in individual Christian lives. I for one realize, though, that the Christian teaching, even though Ideally applicable to all, can't be something that will be understood or accepted by non-Christians.

Its why those topics Ive listed are important to us. It doesnt seem logical to keep teens ignorant of sexual matters.

...I'm sorry if I was giving the impression that I somehow sided on the side of 'ignorance' or as if I'm displaying some kind of aloofness away from formal education. I don't mean for this to be the case, especially when my Master's was in Social Science and Social Science Education (which touched upon topics like curriculum planning which involved educational philosophies pertaining to social-psychology and human sexuality, and somewhere along the way, I took that class on 'The History of American Sexuality' back in 2004, among other things.)

 

[cappycappy]

I think they should start with teaching boundaries in relationships.
It's okay to say "no". If something makes you feel uncomfortable for any reason.

Also, (and this is a touchy topic perhaps) young men need to be taught how to deal with romantic rejection in a mature and Christian way.

Women need to learn also when to recognize that someone isn't interested or something is not going to work out. When to move on. If a man doesn't want to date a woman, it doesn't automatically mean he's a "jerk" and he shouldn't be labeled that way simply based on his lack of interest in a woman.

 

[ThievingMagpie]

The link between abstinence and self esteem is not an imaginary one. I wish that I could convince also that the link between your claiming Jesus Christ as your personal savior and then rejoicing every day that he has died on the cross for your sins to getting off this planet alive was more clear as well.
I am prating right now that those two links are made in your life whether the former iis relevant or not (remember, we are all sinners every single day and all fall short of the glory of God) as the moment of the latter will be a release from literally everything like no other.

Dont worry, my wife's a christian and if she can't convince me, I doubt you will Though really she's a member of a very unevangelistic Anglican church and only really cares that I'm honest about what I believe and am respectful to her - which is mutual.

Anyway back on topic - does your version of abstinence education include those protections I mentioned? Married couples still need to know how condoms and contraceptive pills work so would you teach that?

 

[Sleepy089]

Sounds like everything you mom might have told you about being moral and not having sex before marriage, promptly went out the window, with you fathers contradicting you mom by buying condoms and showing you how to use them, the opposite of a moral Christian approach to the issue.

I know, I know, but, at the time in your life when drugs were prevalent in schools did your dad also buy some pot and show you how to roll a joint, and smoke crack?.......NO? .......Why not?

Are you really that foolish, it is not about morals, it is not about religion,it was about and it is about making sure your kids know how to protect themselves. You can teach your kids abstinence all you want but unless you're going to watch them a 24/7 you cannot control whether they have sex or not. And one there 18 you lose all control your kids can do whatever the heck they want no matter what you want. teaching proper sex education teaching your kids about birth control and condoms can save their life, religion aside morals aside children decide STDs such as HIV kill there is still no cure for HIV and if you have it you're dead. It's very manageable today but you're still dead.

 

[Sleepy089]

The only answer to this whole question is, those who are not Born Again Christians do not ever attempt to live by the Moral code the Christians do, therefore the whole question is moot.

Abstaining from Sex before Marriage is a Moral question not a Physical one.

What other Moral Issues does the General School System teach with the same vigor as it does with Sex Education.

So basically Born again Christians are the only people that count to you. Muslims don't count Buddhists don't count native Americans in the religions don't count. The two billion people on this planet that call themselves Christian count the other five or six billion don't. Do you know something there are plenty of teenagers in my church when I was a kid. I don't know of any that was a virgin. It's like people like you do not seem to get it no matter what you tell your children no matter what you preach to them, teenagers have sex. For one second take your self-righteous moral view and put it to the side. This has nothing to do with moral or religious beliefs this has everything to do with STDs. Do you want to know how many people I knew as a kid who are dead now quite a few of them died from STDs not just HIV. One of the most dangerous STDs out there is syphilis. It's curable in the early stages but like HIV it can go dormant and if you don't catch it in time it will kill you.

 

[JIMINZ]

Are you really that foolish, it is not about morals, it is not about religion,it was about and it is about making sure your kids know how to protect themselves. You can teach your kids abstinence all you want but unless you're going to watch them a 24/7 you cannot control whether they have sex or not. And one there 18 you lose all control your kids can do whatever the heck they want no matter what you want. teaching proper sex education teaching your kids about birth control and condoms can save their life, religion aside morals aside children decide STDs such as HIV kill there is still no cure for HIV and if you have it you're dead. It's very manageable today but you're still dead.

No need to back up you personal viewpoint with such hostility, calm down, I just disagree, were on a Forum this is a debate, change my mind, and you won't ever do it with the attitude you have towards those who disagree with you.

It is a Moral question, whether or not you believe it to be and that is the viewpoint of the majority of Christians, ask any Pastor.

 

[Sleepy089]

You know I think I'm done on this topic I am actually getting really mad. this isn't about morals this isn't about religion. You teach your children sexual education you teach them protection not because you want them to have sex you want them to be protected. if your kid gets HIV their dead it's manageable today much like diabetes but if you get it you're dead. And it's not a nice easy death it's a painful agonizing death in the final stages. This is about saving lives. How many people did my pastor's son transfer HIV to because of his ignorance. Of those people transferred it. everybody keeps going on about the freaking coronavirus which is a glorified flu virus in my opinion. The regular flu still kills more people every year. You want a real epidemic the HIV epidemic is still very much real. And in third world countries in countries that don't teach sexual education and protection it's a real issue. I'm done

 

[coffee4u]

You know it's nice to think all that it would be beautiful if that's how the world worked but it's not teenagers are going to have sex

Not every teenager has sex or does drugs or runs wild or anything else. Stop putting your own self as a 16 year old and assume everyone acts and thinks like you.

My mom and dad first made sure I knew what sex was,they told me that I should wait till I'm married and in love, but they also taught me about birth control, as I said earlier my dad bought some condoms and showed me how to use one using a cucumber. He told me he didn't want me having sex till I'm was married but if I was going to or I might be in a situation where I might he wanted me to have the knowledge to not get myself in trouble. Raising your child in the church is a good thing I was raised in the church. But my first time was when I was 16...I wasn't thinking about God I wasn't thinking about church or what my parents taught me. I was thinking about the condoms and I used them.

This is because while you had been taught something you had not actually taken it on as your own view. Knowing something is different to believing something. If you yourself had taken on a strong wish and belief in purity for both yourself and your girlfriend you would not have been having sex at 16. Instead, you would have been asking your dad for ways to remain pure, talking to your girlfriend about ways to remain pure and you would not have been carrying condoms. While you may think all young people are the same, they are not, the same way all adults are not the same.

This whole subject is between taught view-vs own belief. Parents need to teach the view of purity not because this is what they want but because this is what God wants. This only works as far as the young persons love of God. Without a love of God, without having his law upon their heart for themselves then this is merely a good policy, a good thing to do, not a strongly held belief. It's not about being 'raised in the church' but taking on your own saving faith in Jesus and from that believing in Gods precepts, wanting to grow into a man of God.

What should be focused on is the young persons walk with Christ.

 

[Zoii]

Sounds like everything you mom might have told you about being moral and not having sex before marriage, promptly went out the window, with you fathers contradicting you mom by buying condoms and showing you how to use them, the opposite of a moral Christian approach to the issue.

I know, I know, but, at the time in your life when drugs were prevalent in schools did your dad also buy some pot and show you how to roll a joint, and smoke crack?.......NO? .......Why not?

That's such a malicious comment. So undignified and unnecessary. Is this what you resort to when anyone disagrees with you?

 

[cappycappy]

Of those people transferred it. everybody keeps going on about the freaking coronavirus which is a glorified flu virus in my opinion. The regular flu still kills more people every year. You want a real epidemic the HIV epidemic is still very much real. And in third world countries in countries that don't teach sexual education and protection it's a real issue. I'm done

HIV is far, far less contagious than the Corona Virus, since HIV is a blood borne illness.

Corona Virus is not the flu. It's more than twice as contagious as the flu, and more deadly. We've only just started with it, too. The numbers keep going up and the US has the steepest trajectory of any country so far.

 

[cappycappy]

I think teaching young people about sex (whether regular sex ed or teaching abstinence only), they must be taught about boundaries and consent and when No means No. There are far too many men out there who still try to force themselves on women. And no, I'm not saying women can't commit rape too, but it's more of an issue with men, in my opinion.
And men, even if a woman doesn't say "no", if she's trying to get away from you, that means she doesn't want you touching her.