How should Christians educate the youth on sexual issues?

[MyLifeForChrist]

Dont worry, my wife's a christian and if she can't convince me, I doubt you will

I sincerely feel sorry for you and I say this from the bottom of my heart:
I was never truly married nor fulfilled (and I'd like an Amen please from someone who has lived this) until I grew in to a much deeper relation with Christ via my wife (always) frankly leading the way. You have no idea of the love both from/for her that you are missing and I pray this second that you approach her with this concept likely already in your vows just as soon as is possible.
All of the rest of this going on up here before that happens?
110% inconsequential and taking away from a journey like no other about to take place (believe me please).

 

[ThievingMagpie]

I sincerely feel sorry for you and I say this from the bottom of my heart:
I was never truly married nor fulfilled (and I'd like an Amen please from someone who has lived this) until I grew in to a much deeper relation with Christ via my wife (always) frankly leading the way. You have no idea of the love both from/for her that you are missing and I pray this second that you approach her with this concept likely already in your vows just as soon as is possible.

Eh, my vows were secular. I understand this is difficult for you to appreciate but my life and marriage is as fulfilling as can be and I think there is much more value in loving, accepting and respecting someone for differences in view and belief - seems a much more optimistic view of humanity. My wife's Church doesn't preach against marrying outside the faith so this is all a bit moot.

Now back to the question does your version of abstinence education teach about STIs and contraceptives? If not, how would you expect a young uneducated but, until this point, chaste married couple to deal with the occurrence of lets say gonorrhoea? And how would you expect them to plan their family appropriately?

 

[thomas_t]

A lot of people think Christians are either just plain wrong or worse, AWOL, on sexual education. How should families and churches deal with this issue? Actually, I'm sure there are many different ways to respond. What say you?

I think children have a right to know about sex. It's a human right to get information about it. Teens are entitled to have sex. And churches shouldn't teach them otherwise.
However, when it comes to teaching contraception. the crux of the matter is how you present the issue.
Just present the facts?
No. If you say "just present the facts" you will always have those who present the topic of contraception in such a way that children might feel inclined to think that contraception is the only responsibility you have to prevent unwanted pregnancy. They might think "If I use a condom, I've done all I could to prevent unwanted pregnancy". And that's simply not true.
In church, you should also present Bible passages saying how God sees unborn children as fully human.
Even if you use a condom you could get yourself in a position in which unwanted pregnancy has occured and all of a sudden the option of abortion is on the table.
And noone, no scientist, no philosopher, no expert, can rule out that the unborn are human beings in full.
In this case, unwanted pregnancies result in questions whether or not to kill a human being.
So in my opinion, churches should present the dilemma that, even if using a condom, sex could get you into a position in which abortion seems to be an option.
Still maintaining that teens have every right to have sex.

Furthermore, it should be stated that abstinence only doesn't work, as this study suggests Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage Programs Are Ineffective and Harmful to Young People, Expert Review Confirms

Maybe, you should tell them that there are other forms of having sex besides penetration?
Thomas

 

[Kessa]

In my opinion the following things are needed, not necessarily in order:

1. Anatomy. Who has what, where is it and what does it do.
2. Personal health. How to keep your parts clean, for example. Knowing about prostate exams and pap smears.
3. Birth control, understanding the different methods, how to get it/cost, each method's uses and limitations, how to layer protection for the best pregnancy prevention, and debunking myths and misinformation.
4. Pregnancy and babies. Where and how to get a pregnancy test, pre-natal care, abortion referral or adoption services. What it's really like to be pregnant, give birth, and be a parent.
5. STIs, specifically what the signs and symptoms are, what forms of treatment are needed, and what methods can be used to reduce the risk.
6. Human sexuality. Different people love different people.
7. Sex acts. The different ways people have sex. What various slang terms mean. What types of acts are riskier or safer and how you make protection choices based on what you're doing.
8. Making wise choices. How you know you're ready for sex, when you should or shouldn't be having it, standing up for your beliefs and decisions, coping with peer pressure or media messages, how to communicate your choice to dating partners, surviving waiting if you make the choice to wait for marriage.
9. Healthy relationships. Setting boundaries, negotiating differences, maintaining self-respect, making your partner's needs a priority, compassion and empathy, consent issues, red flags and how to identify and address relationship problems.
10. Safety. Determining what sex crimes are and how common they are, ways to protect yourself and other people, ways to help spread the message against sex crime, how to report harassment or rape if it happens to you, what resources are available if you need them, how to support others suffering from sex crime.
11. The teachings and beliefs of your faith, if offered by a religious institution or for a group of believers, or at home. How your religion views human sexuality, what is considered acceptable and what isn't, when and with whom you can have sex, the definition of marriage within your faith, necessary rituals or ceremonies, etc.

By the time someone is in their teens, they should know all of this. Obviously how you present material and when will depend on age groups but by age 13-14 many people are starting to think about sex and should have this information.

 

[MyLifeForChrist]

Eh, my vows were secular.

Then living with your wife in Christ as one in him has no value to you. I was simply trying to explain that the day that this happens (and I am praying hard right now that t does) you will do more for her than anything you have ever imagined that you were accomplishing for the two of you previous. The bonus? Your life, with her as happy as she can possibly be...changes forever with her.

I understand this is difficult for you to appreciate but my life and marriage is as fulfilling as can be and I think there is much more value in loving, accepting and respecting someone for differences in view and belief - seems a much more optimistic view of humanity.

"Optmism" is hoping that at least one of you makes it to the other side and off of this earth intact due to the correct choice. That is not marriage. Your current situation is also not "difficult for us to appreciate". You might be surprised that a good number of men have been in your shoes and then kicked themselves later for not being in a purely Christ-centered life with their wives much earlier. I am one of them. You have no idea what you are missing in terms of truly knowing your wife and appreciating her just that much more. I wouldn't have taken the time to pray or to write this in the middle of the night if this were not true. (I'm an old man and need my rest more).

Now back to the question does your version of abstinence education teach about STIs and contraceptives? If not, how would you expect a young uneducated but, until this point, chaste married couple to deal with the occurrence of lets say gonorrhoea? And how would you expect them to plan their family appropriately?

You have (obviously and intentionally) went from educating kids about abstinence to educating recently married virgins who society has no responsibility whatsoever to educate. Nice try.
Take your wife by the hand and ask Jesus in to your heart and lives.
You will not regret it.

 

[ThievingMagpie]

Then living with your wife in Christ as one in him has no value to you. I was simply trying to explain that the day that this happens (and I am praying hard right now that t does) you will do more for her than anything you have ever imagined that you were accomplishing for the two of you previous. The bonus? Your life, with her as happy as she can possibly be...changes forever with her.

"Optmism" is hoping that at least one of you makes it to the other side and off of this earth intact due to the correct choice. That is not marriage. Your current situation is also not "difficult for us to appreciate". You might be surprised that a good number of men have been in your shoes and then kicked themselves later for not being in a purely Christ-centered life with their wives much earlier. I am one of them. You have no idea what you are missing in terms of truly knowing your wife and appreciating her just that much more. I wouldn't have taken the time to pray or to write this in the middle of the night if this were not true. (I'm an old man and need my rest more).



You have (obviously and intentionally) went from educating kids about abstinence to educating recently married virgins who society has no responsibility whatsoever to educate. Nice try.
Take your wife by the hand and ask Jesus in to your heart and lives.
You will not regret it.

To the meat of your post: thanks for the advice but its misplaced so let's leave it there.

Moving back to the topic of the thread, I'm not trying to get one over on you. Newly married virgins whether 16, 22 or 45 or all as ill-equipped for the risks, consequences and joys of sex as anyone who practised sex before marriage. How does abstinence only education equip them for family planning? What if they have a child before they're prepared because they can't use contraception? What it one of them cheats and contracts an STI?

 

[Sleepy089]

In my opinion the following things are needed, not necessarily in order:

1. Anatomy. Who has what, where is it and what does it do.
2. Personal health. How to keep your parts clean, for example. Knowing about prostate exams and pap smears.
3. Birth control, understanding the different methods, how to get it/cost, each method's uses and limitations, how to layer protection for the best pregnancy prevention, and debunking myths and misinformation.
4. Pregnancy and babies. Where and how to get a pregnancy test, pre-natal care, abortion referral or adoption services. What it's really like to be pregnant, give birth, and be a parent.
5. STIs, specifically what the signs and symptoms are, what forms of treatment are needed, and what methods can be used to reduce the risk.
6. Human sexuality. Different people love different people.
7. Sex acts. The different ways people have sex. What various slang terms mean. What types of acts are riskier or safer and how you make protection choices based on what you're doing.
8. Making wise choices. How you know you're ready for sex, when you should or shouldn't be having it, standing up for your beliefs and decisions, coping with peer pressure or media messages, how to communicate your choice to dating partners, surviving waiting if you make the choice to wait for marriage.
9. Healthy relationships. Setting boundaries, negotiating differences, maintaining self-respect, making your partner's needs a priority, compassion and empathy, consent issues, red flags and how to identify and address relationship problems.
10. Safety. Determining what sex crimes are and how common they are, ways to protect yourself and other people, ways to help spread the message against sex crime, how to report harassment or rape if it happens to you, what resources are available if you need them, how to support others suffering from sex crime.
11. The teachings and beliefs of your faith, if offered by a religious institution or for a group of believers, or at home. How your religion views human sexuality, what is considered acceptable and what isn't, when and with whom you can have sex, the definition of marriage within your faith, necessary rituals or ceremonies, etc.

By the time someone is in their teens, they should know all of this. Obviously how you present material and when will depend on age groups but by age 13-14 many people are starting to think about sex and should have this information.

I thought I was done here but I came back and that was a really intelligent responce

 

[ViaCrucis]

A lot of people think Christians are either just plain wrong or worse, AWOL, on sexual education. How should families and churches deal with this issue? Actually, I'm sure there are many different ways to respond. What say you?

Rely on the best science so that what is being taught is accurate and true. Address sexual ethics by addressing the intrinsic value of human persons, and not giving into the easy route of moralistic attitudes which ignore that people are people. Sexual ethics is about recognizing the innate humanity in one another, and that how I behave affects others. Loving our neighbor as ourselves means not regarding another person as an object that exists to meet my needs, but as a human person to be respected, loved, and valued as such.

-CryptoLutheran