How should Christians educate the youth on sexual issues?

[loveofourlord]

I think children should be given comprehensive sex education, so they are equipped to make smart choices.

A number of parents, churches, and religious schools intentionally deny children the information they need to make wise decisions about sexuality, relationships, and reproduction. Many programmes limit access to information on birth control, for example, out of a misguided belief that ignorance will stop kids from having sex. In the worst programmes, children are given deliberate misinformation intended to frighten and confuse them, such as the lies that condoms are not a reliable method of birth control when used effectively, or that abortion causes breast cancer. Of course, these methods don't work. There is no appreciable statistical differences in the number of children choosing abstinence. Scaring and lying to children only makes them more vulnerable to lie, gossip, and exploitation - it does not prevent them from having sex, it usually just ensures the sex they have is more risky.

Although it may be upsetting to parents, young people do have sex and this is a normal part of life for many people. Threats and bullying designed to shame sexually active young people inevitably backfires, and that's not even touching on how utterly destructive those messages are to kids who have been molested or raped. Instead of dishonesty, being clear and honest with children is necessary to ensure they make wise choices and are also comfortable talking about the subject with trustworthy people in their lives. You don't want your kids learning about sex from movies, paedophiles, and inappropriate contentography, which is how I and my Christian school peers learned. You don't want your kids hiding symptoms of STDs, seeking DIY abortion, or running away because they are too scared to talk to parents, teachers, and church leaders about their desires or experiences; again, the experiences of many of my classmates. You can encourage abstinence without making those who are ready for sex feel dirty or humiliated. In fact, removing the shame, secrecy, and stigma from sex also seems to make it a lot easier to say no. When it becomes something you own and have personal responsibility for, rather than something dirty you have to sneak around to read about, many kids step up.

For many it doesn't seem to be a belief hiding it won't have kids have sex, but often it seems to be more, "Sex before marriage is wsrong, telling kids how to have safe sex is akin to telling them it's okay and therefore it's a sin to even mention it."

 

[JIMINZ]

When we talk of sex education we should not be talkin about sexual orientation, it's too much of a hot topic can causes too many problems. I fully understand the stands Christianity has on homosexuality but the fact is Christians have done too much damage in that area. What they should be teaching is condoms and birth control. As much as I would like to say that all you have to do is teach kids the Bible and God's rules about sex, it doesn't work teenagers have sex young adults have sex they might tell their Church they're not doing it but they are. I grew up in a Christian household, but when I was 13 my mom had a talk with me and my dad got me some condoms he showed me how to put them on using a cucumber LOL and he explained the facts about it he told me if you use a condom you got about a 98% chance of not getting a woman pregnant and not getting an STD. I know my mom talked to my sisters she told them about birth control she made sure they had access to it she even gave them condoms just in case they decided to have sex to make sure their boyfriends used the condom. You can preach to your kids till your blue in the face,the fact of the matter is you cannot control your children's actions once they hit teenage years there is absolutely no way to watch your child 24/7 at least not and have them turn out to be a healthy well-adjusted adult. My mom and dad told their kids about sex they told them all the facts about protection they told them that at the end of the day the only 100% guarantee safe sex is the way to your married. one of the churches I went to as a kid the pastor treated sex like it was something evil and shouldn't be talked about. I found out some years ago that his son like to sleep around and he didn't use a condom and he got HIV and he's dead now. his son is dead because he didn't bother to teach his son proper sex education. Sex education is not telling your kids that having sex out of marriage is a bad thing. you tell your kids about birth control you tell your kids about condoms you tell them that the only real safe sex is waiting to marriage but if you're going to have sex use common sense and use protection. Take having kids out of the equation there is still HIV and dozens of other horrible STDs. Not teaching your children proper sex education is a sin in my opinion

Sounds like everything you mom might have told you about being moral and not having sex before marriage, promptly went out the window, with you fathers contradicting you mom by buying condoms and showing you how to use them, the opposite of a moral Christian approach to the issue.

I know, I know, but, at the time in your life when drugs were prevalent in schools did your dad also buy some pot and show you how to roll a joint, and smoke crack?.......NO? .......Why not?

 

[loveofourlord]

Sounds like everything you mom might have told you about being moral and not having sex before marriage, promptly went out the window, with you fathers contradicting you mom by buying condoms and showing you how to use them, the opposite of a moral Christian approach to the issue.

I know, I know, but, at the time in your life when drugs were prevalent in schools did your dad also buy some pot and show you how to roll a joint, and smoke crack?.......NO? .......Why not?

One of those is perfectly legal. Pretending kids won't have sex, or it's wrong to teach them how to protect themselves because it's SIn or other things is wrong and harmful, and no, but there were talks about drugs and such. Plus I wouldn't exactly hold up the american talks on drugs where pot is worse then coccaine or heroine.

 

[JIMINZ]

One of those is perfectly legal.

And Abortion is legal too isn't it, just about the same time Sex Ed hit the schools the Abortion rates rose, ....coincidence?

It was like loading a gun, then telling kids don't touch it......yeah right.

The kids weren't using the Condoms, and Birth Control either, therefor the only thing the kids were told about were the Mechanics of sex.

 

[MyLifeForChrist]

abstinence is only as good as it's practiced, and most studies show it has very few adherences, all you do by ignoring actual sex education is ruin the lives of kids.

God's entire life-saving message "..is only as good as it is practiced.." so what is your point? Very few also ever adhere to his word...so what is your point?
Our job as parents is to ONLY accurately teach the ideal (his word) to our children and just as importantly the consequences of ignoring perhaps the most important lesson in life this side of self abuse: abstinence.
"..Ruin their lives?.."
You better bet their young lives will be ruined when two different sides of a very simple story are told to them for unquestionably evil purposes.

 

[loveofourlord]

God's entire life-saving message "..is only as good as it is practiced.." so what is your point? Very few also ever adhere to his word...so what is your point?
Our job as parents is to ONLY accurately teach the ideal (his word) to our children and just as importantly the consequences of ignoring perhaps the most important lesson in life this side of self abuse: abstinence.
"..Ruin their lives?.."
You better bet their young lives will be ruined when two different sides of a very simple story are told to them for unquestionably evil purposes.

you can hope for the ideal world, but isn't teaching the kids to be prepared for the actual real world unfortunetly

 

[WolfGate]

Is sex in the Bible? Yes. Then actively teach what the bible says. That includes not just the things prohibited but also the blessings of sex expressed in Song of Soloman along with other books that present marital sex as a good and enjoyable thing.

 

[MyLifeForChrist]

you can hope for the ideal world, but isn't teaching the kids to be prepared for the actual real world unfortunetly

Everything true is taught strictly in preparedness for inevitably false temptations.
The "actual real world" is only navigated successfully by a single truth and you know full well what that is.

 

[Desk trauma]

And Abortion is legal too isn't it, just about the same time Sex Ed hit the schools the Abortion rates rose,

Note how it peaked well before comprehensive sex ed was wide spread and has decreased since to a lower level than prior to Roe Vs Wade.

 

[Sketcher]

Note how it peaked well before comprehensive sex ed was wide spread and has decreased since to a lower level than prior to Roe Vs Wade.

But what are they counting as abortions? Do they include RU-486 and the IUD?

 

[ThievingMagpie]

We're not talking the basic sex education classes of old here...yet you full well know this. We're talking about educating youth as to the #1 danger that they need to be made aware of and the only solution (abstinence) while they are under their parent's roof or not.
Nice try.

Nice try? I'm not a Christian so tbh the concept of drawing an imaginary line, calling it virginity and linking it to one's 'self esteem' is making a fuss out of nothing. Does your version of abstinence education include the information and protections I mentioned above? if not, how does it in anyway equip them for the reality of life?

 

[Zoii]

You are either old enough to already discern that abstinence education should have been taught to you previously or you are young enough that the above is essential.
"Sex education" is akin to throwing the above in the garbage along with God's word and your own self esteem.

Your generation seems to feel (as you have inferred using the bible as 'cover) that loudly protecting those having sex outside of marriage is indeed the higher calling.

I have no issue for a religious school to outline the virtues of abstinence - but if you are inferring that it should exclude all the other topics regarding sexual education that Ive listed - then I totally reject your assertion that teens should be kept ignorant of them.

Ignorance is disempowering and results in harm - and why would it cause harm? - because they were kept ignorant.

 

[Zoii]

I'm not sure I understand this statement of yours, Zoii. It kind of seems to be loaded with skeptical and humanistic assumptions that neither you nor I, epistemologically, metaphysically, nor even axiologically speaking, KNOW to be true either way.

Hi Phil
I wasnt speaking in epistemological terms - rather I was reflecting on the discussions and thoughts of friends and associates from my generation. I appreciate thats hardly a research base, but I'm quite confident its none the less accurate for at least 80% of my generation. We just dont see the sex-act as a "wrong" unless it has occurred through force, subjugation or duress of any type.

Its why those topics Ive listed are important to us. It doesnt seem logical to keep teens ignorant of sexual matters.

 

[JIMINZ]

Phil I have a question for you.

At the time biblical direction concerning sex was written. girls were marrying at a very early age. Usually from the moment that started menstruating. So the notion of being a virgin and abstinence had considerably less relevance as before they married, they were pre-teen.

In modern times it would be highly illegal to replicate the behaviours of those biblical times. Now marriage doesn't occur until mid-twenties and beyond. In today's paradigm, abstinence and virginity have far greater difficulties. We are not talking about a twelve-year-old virgin suddenly menstruating and marrying months later.

This is what I meant about the relevance of applying biblical philosophy in today's world. It just doesn't apply or appeal to today's teens in the matters of sexual conduct.... and that cuts both ways - I don't accept the biblical actions of marrying in early teens, I don't accept stoning for having sex, I wouldn't accept a girl raped should marry her rapist, I don't accept that if a person does have sex that it makes them a sinful or wicked person.

Many of my friends are in relationships and sex is a part of that. I would resent any comment suggesting that these intelligent and kind women are wicked and sinful.

The only answer to this whole question is, those who are not Born Again Christians do not ever attempt to live by the Moral code the Christians do, therefore the whole question is moot.

Abstaining from Sex before Marriage is a Moral question not a Physical one.

What other Moral Issues does the General School System teach with the same vigor as it does with Sex Education.

 

[Zoii]

The only answer to this whole question is, those who are not Born Again Christians do not ever attempt to live by the Moral code the Christians do

There's zero evidence to suggest that Christians (or other religious practitioners) are more moral than any other cohort of people. Do you have any evidence to support that? Certainly if you measure things like child abuse, paedophilia, domestic violence..... these are as prevalent (more so in ultra-conservative religious groups) as any secular cohort.

Abstaining from Sex before Marriage is a Moral question not a Physical one.

I have no issue of teaching abstinence. My posts cited other sex education that should be taught as well. I advise Christian teachers to remove their blinkers... In the US the age for first sexual intercourse is slightly older at age 17. But the influence of religious affiliations sees that the use of contraception is much lower than other OECD nations with concordant higher teenage pregnancy rates.

That's the result of insisting that abstinance is the only thing to be taught.

Source:
Abstinence and Teenagers: Prevention Counseling Practices of Health Care Providers Serving High-Risk Patients in the United States
Cynthia C. Harper, Jillian T. Henderson, Amy Schalet, Davida Becker, Laura Stratton, and Tina R. Raine

 

[JIMINZ]

I have no issue of teaching abstinence. My posts cited other sex education that should be taught as well.

My argument and subsequent statements with regard to this thread are only in relation to Christians.

As far as what Secular Society does, Christians cannot dictate to, therefore my statements on Abstinence only reflect the position Christians take on the Issue.

As I have said, Abstinence is a Moral Issue, not a Physical one.

The Moral compass of the child raised in a Christian home and Church environment have a greater understanding of the Moral ramifications concerning the issues surrounding and in conjunction with the Issue of Promiscuity (Sex before Marriage), it is a totally different outlook on the subject for totally different reasons than that of Secular Society, which never takes these reasons into account, they only deal with the Physical aspect of the Issue.

 

[Zoii]

My argument and subsequent statements with regard to this thread are only in relation to Christians.

As far as what Secular Society does, Christians cannot dictate to, therefore my statements on Abstinence only reflect the position Christians take on the Issue.

As I have said, Abstinence is a Moral Issue, not a Physical one.

The Moral compass of the child raised in a Christian home and Church environment have a greater understanding of the Moral ramifications concerning the issues surrounding and in conjunction with the Issue of Promiscuity (Sex before Marriage), it is a totally different outlook on the subject for totally different reasons than that of Secular Society, which never takes these reasons into account, they only deal with the Physical aspect of the Issue.

Is it your argument then that Christian teens should be kept ignorant of the topics I referred to?

 

[JIMINZ]

There's zero evidence to suggest that Christians (or other religious practitioners) are more moral than any other cohort of people. Do you have any evidence to support that?

In answer to your statement, I am not saying Christians are better in that sense of the word

Let me ask you both a Personal and a Societal question.

Do you personally and Society in general believe, Sex before Marriage is a sin?

 

[Zoii]

In answer to your statement, I am not saying Christians are better in that sense of the word

Let me ask you both a Personal and a Societal question.

Do you personally and Society in general believe, Sex before Marriage is a sin?

If you define sin as being "wicked. Improper. Evil."Then no. Sex is a natural consequence of our DNA and providing the individuals are mentally competent and the act is consensual and without duress, then there is nothing wrong with it. That said both parties also must understand there are obligations too - pregnancy and STIs being amongst them.

I have many friends who are in relationships. There is absolutely nothing immoral, evil, or wicked about them. They are highly intelligent, kind and altruistic human beings.

I truly dislike the convention of picking on someone's personal life, where they do no harm, practice love and kindness...yet the finger is firmly pointed at them by "moral" groups who will say "You're wrong and I am better than you".

 

[JIMINZ]

Is it your argument then that Christian teens should be kept ignorant of the topics I referred to?

I believe they would in general have a much different view on the subject that you or Society would.

Ignorant not in the sense of walking around without a clue, NO I don't believe in the setting I expressed, they are as ignorant as one might believe, it's a totally different mind set.

Now there are children who profess to be Christians that don't have or follow Christianity as closely as those I have spoken of, they are no different than those children who are not Christians, they are ships without a rudder.