How many dates before you are boyfriend/girlfriend?

[The Princess Bride]

Haha, well, I'd definitely count those as buying signals

In the words of my dear sweetie "Knarf" aka "duh"

I just discussed a lot of this with a male friend yesterday who was in a very one-sided "relationship" a year ago that he still isn't over, so these are fresh in my mind... (I put relationship in quotes because she never specifically agreed to be exclusive)

Green light: What you said, plus she touches me a lot (not sexually, I mean like she touches my arm when she talks to me or gives me long hugs, or good old fashioned childlike rough-housing), or she asks me a "buying question" (for example: "Where do you see 'us' going?" or something like that), acts goofy and silly and confused around me

Red light: I have to put in all the effort to see her, talk to her, hang out with her etc, she never calls me, she acts like she's too busy for me, acts bored by me, she makes no effort to add to the conversation, always the first to end conversations or say "I gotta go", she talks about how happy the single life is for her, she talks about not being ready for a relationship, or she just does something crazy in general (acts very interested one minute, then completely disinterested the next)

Yeah, definately the "touch" thing... I am very guilty of that one.

Which was/is fine with my BF because he is too..

He would always try to give me bear hugs before we were dating...and it kinda freaked me out cuz I didnt know how to take it!

 

[AceHero]

it's important to establish a good friendship BEFORE going out with them. why? because then you can observe them interacting with others. this gives you a clearer insight into their character and their relationships with others. you get to know them better as a friend than as a gf, because one usually puts your best foot forward when going out with someone, whereas you're more relaxed when with a bunch of friends...

there's tons more i can say about this, so if you wanna chat with me, feel free to pm me.

Agreed. Then you won't be suprised about a certain thing about her, because that might happen if the first date is your first experience getting to know her.

Nice job of compressing what can often be a long explanation.

 

[Tuffguy]

You're both single till you have the conversation about dating exclusively. Never assume.

 

[The Princess Bride]

You're both single till you have the conversation about dating exclusively. Never assume.

Thank you for bringing that up! That is a very valid point.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

You're both single till you have the conversation about dating exclusively. Never assume.

Yup. I've known too many people who forget this important point.

 

[...butterfly...]

Lol. I really dont have the answer. because hwen my fiance and i started dating...we were talking on the phone and I just asked him to be my boyfriend.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Until I married my ex-h I always dated one person at a time and most dates turned into relationships.

Even though you had a great first date, I think you may be jumping the gun here. I've seen too many people get hurt lately by commiting way too soon. At my age I do want to know "intentions" early on, but that doesn't mean we have to define the relationship and be exclusive after a few dates. It would be better to really know a lot more about them, mannerisms, how they act with others, before being exclusive.

If you can keep in mind that you should be getting to know her as a friend first before pinning all kinds of hopes on the relationship before it gets started, it might cut down on the possibility of heartbreak too-maybe.

With that said, after the first and second date with my ex-bf, I didn't want to see anyone else. We committed early and invested a lot of serious emotions into someone we didn't know as a "friend". A lot of pain was involved when we broke up.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

I'm guessing it's different for everyone. Though this is something I'm kind of wondering myself at the moment. Not worried about it though. Those things tend to work themselves out. Anyone you are considering being exclusive with, you should be communicating openly, regularily and clearly with. . . thus I think this would naturally come up sooner rather than later.