How to Find a Wife

[Michie]

If you want to find a Catholic wife worthy marrying, start here.​

Last year, I wrote a piece for Catholic Answers called “How to Find a Husband.” Here is the belated companion piece for men who are looking for a good Catholic wife.

Much of the advice is the same: expand your social circle by attending both Catholic and not-necessarily-Catholic events that attract single adults, then challenge yourself to actually speak to at least one single woman at each social event. Have a “wing man” hold you accountable to this goal if needed.

However, I have some specific tips for men, too, based on what I liked when I was looking for a husband a couple of years ago, and what I heard from other women as I researched for my book, Pretty Good Catholic.

Many Catholic women complained that the devout Catholic men they met were . . . well, boring. They tended to have fewer hobbies and interests than non-Catholic men and didn’t joke or flirt as much. So you can take three concrete steps to make sure you stand out from the crowd.

1. Develop or rekindle some interests so that you’re well rounded. Ideally, you should do something physical that keeps you fit and doubles as a social activity, where you can meet women who share the interest. (I know a married couple who met through a casual Ultimate Frisbee group, and plenty of Catholic women love partner dancing!)

Intellectual and creative pursuits are great, too: play an instrument, learn a new language, or read some great works of literature. Basically, do things that women also do, so that you have something to talk about with them, and somewhere to take them on dates besides coffee or dinner. If you find that you and she are both into art, inviting her to a museum comes naturally.

If you’re using a dating app or website, showcase all these interests on your profile, via words and pictures, so women can really see who you are.

2. Lighten up a little bit!

Continued below.

How to Find a Wife

Asking and answering the big questions is important, but this comes a little later. The first steps are smaller and yet just as necessary.

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[prodromos]

Look in the Op-Shops. That is where I usually find my wife