how is it an asset

[vibrant]

how is virginity an asset. in recent relationships, it's just been something that shows my naivety and inexperience. i feel awkward and unprepared, and there's no one patting me on the shoulders telling me way to go. there are people telling me and treating me like i'm a sexual being. but funny thing, i'm not looking at myself as one. i'm fast asleep c/o song of songs right now.

don't know if that made any sense.

 

[Thomas1984]

how is virginity an asset. in recent relationships, it's just been something that shows my naivety and inexperience. i feel awkward and unprepared, and there's no one patting me on the shoulders telling me way to go. there are people telling me and treating me like i'm a sexual being. but funny thing, i'm not looking at myself as one. i'm fast asleep c/o song of songs right now.

don't know if that made any sense.

Makes sense to me. I don't know if that's you in your avatar, but if so, I can see why people find you attractive.

There's no need to feel awkard, you're simply living your life to God's standard, and that's something you should be commended for. You may feel as if you are alone in your choice to wait, but the truth is, you're not. Anyone who tries to devalue your virtuousness, isn't worth the time of day, to be frank. By all means, explain why you have made this choice, if you want to, but you have no need to explain why to any man.

Whether it's your Christian brothers and sisters or Jesus himself, there will always be someone who appriciates your strength of character.

 

[silentpoet]

I know it may not feel like an asset and it may not feel easy, but it is a command from God. Doing God's will does not always feel right. I know how much of a struggle it can be to maintain something of yourself as a hidden treasure. It is hard to keep something for somebody you may not even know yet. And it is also hard to believe that the wait will be worth it. It is a hard thing that God tells us to do. Yet if God tells us to do something, we have to assume He will be with us in the keeping of this command.

 

[javaluver]

I'm not sure if asset is the right word but I can guarantee that your future husband will be very glad you saved yourself for him! You should never look at it as a hinderance because you will have plenty of time, after you are married, to learn and share with the man you will spend your life with. If there is any doubt in your mind that a guy you are dating is thankful for you inexperience then he is not the right guy for you!

 

[Peacemonger]

how is virginity an asset. in recent relationships, it's just been something that shows my naivety and inexperience. i feel awkward and unprepared, and there's no one patting me on the shoulders telling me way to go. there are people telling me and treating me like i'm a sexual being. but funny thing, i'm not looking at myself as one. i'm fast asleep c/o song of songs right now.

don't know if that made any sense.

It's an asset in my mind, and I go through the same thoughts as you sometimes about the whole being treated/not thinking as a sexual being. I would personally be overjoyed if my future wife (who I haven't met yet) saved herself for me (and the other way around).

It's weird when it's not something this "world" values. Dare say it, sex, money, and power are probably the top 3 things this sinful world desires. So don't be surprised when the world constantly chews you up and spits you out. Who cares what the world thinks? I'd rather the world reject me than God reject me. Whose opinion means more?

This is all easier said than done. Hang in there. A lot of us "struggle" with the confusion and temptation. You can do it.

 

[plum]

It's an asset when you don't think in terms of what this world finds beneficial. why does the world value experience? Perhaps out of fear of the unknown or fear of not being accepted or "good enough"... but that's not a good reason to give yourself sexually to another person.

I think it's actually an asset when it comes to your mental life. I'm not a virgin and I often am stuck in "back when" thoughts and comparisons to other people and expectations from others and of others. you don't forget. being a virgin would be an asset here.

 

[Sketcher]

The way I see it, virginity provides freedom. I like freedom. No STDs, no weird ties to anybody, no chance of having to pay child support, and I can give myself to anyone I choose.

I could definitely see where you're coming from if you're with someone who is experienced though. I may not be bringing any of the bad things above into a relationship, but I would be bringing quite a bit of clumsiness and lack of skill into it. That would probably make up for an absence of "past-related" problems since an experienced woman would definitely notice it.

Hold on to your purity though. God commands it for a reason, and He will bless you if you follow through with it. There may well be a man out there who is saving himself for you, or at very least there will be a heavenly reward for obedience.

 

[vibrant]

it feels like i'm lagging behind or something. i think that was one of my first post on this single's forum: it feels like i'm behind in this game everyone has mastered.

and i hate feeling awkward, uncomfortable, nervous, or upset.

i guess i can be a virgin but also be mature.

 

[Sketcher]

I'm older than you are and you seem to be "further ahead" than me.

 

[vibrant]

should this endeavour to keep virginity leave me as maladjusted as it makes me seem something

 

[catofhope]

On being a virgin. It is definately a good thing.
Peer pressure does tend to be tougher at your age.

I too am a virgin and can understand your feelings of awkwardness.
But being awkward for being "pure" is not a bad thing in my book.

The major issue I run into is not knowing when a guy likes me as more than a friend.
But that is just due to inexperience in general.

The fact is I do not want a lot of experiences before marrying.
And yup I still have hope for the right man to come along - in God's timing.

 

[JPPT1974]

Really I have had no temptation
In giving up my viriginty just as
Long as my head is in the right place
And with God most of all.
Being a virgin is very important to me.

 

[Thomas1984]

should this endeavour to keep virginity leave me as maladjusted as it makes me seem something

You really shouldn't be feeling like this; you are maintaining yourself to a heavenly standard. I don't know what has caused you to think this way, but trust me, you are doing a wonderful thing by staying pure for the sake of one day having a godly marriage.

I only hope that the man you marry is as special as you are. I'd suggest looking at why you feel this way; if it's the result of people trying to drag you down, then I'd say do what you can to seperate yourself from them. If it's a result of the world around in general, then again, maybe there's something that could be adjusted to make happier with your choice.

I'm just taking a stab in the dark here, if you hadn't guessed.

I can't remember for certain, but I'm sure there's a bible verse (Proverbs maybe?) that says that the worth of a virtuous woman is greater than rubies? I may have my wires crossed, but I'm pretty sure I got the meaning right.

 

[catofhope]

As a Christian we must remember we are to live in this world but not of this world.
We should not let the world's lax standards be our standards.
So be proud of yourself for setting yourself apart from the world.

I can't remember for certain, but I'm sure there's a bible verse (Proverbs maybe?) that says that the worth of a virtuous woman is greater than rubies? I may have my wires crossed, but I'm pretty sure I got the meaning right.

You are thinking of Proverbs 31:10
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."

 

[2scoops]

I am a virgin also, and I could care less about fitting into what the world thinks I should be doing.

I would like to add though, being a virgin does not make the person. God looks at the heart and where the person is today, in the present. Did Jesus not love Mary Magdelane (sp?) who was a prostitute? Did he not let a prostitute wash his feet with her hair?

Waiting to have sex can be a virtous thing, but it should not define a person. I've seen so many virginity threads here, and I feel that we should not judge someone on whether or not they are a virgin. It absolutely has no bearing on how much they love God and will love a potential mate. There are some beautiful young ladies and men on here that just want to be loved, and we shouldn't let past transgressions define their worth.

 

[silentpoet]

I would like to add though, being a virgin does not make the person. God looks at the heart and where the person is today, in the present. Did Jesus not love Mary Magdelane (sp?) who was a prostitute? Did he not let a prostitute wash his feet with her hair?

Just a point, though I do agree with most of your post. Mary Magdalene is not said to be a prostitute anywhere in the bible. That was a false association made several hundred years later. The only thing the bible says about her back ground is that demons were driven out of her.

 

[2scoops]

Just a point, though I do agree with most of your post. Mary Magdalene is not said to be a prostitute anywhere in the bible. That was a false association made several hundred years later. The only thing the bible says about her back ground is that demons were driven out of her.

I did so a sear5ch onit yesterday, because I had been told she was, and your right, the bible never mentions she was, thanks for the correction.

 

[AceHero]

it feels like i'm lagging behind or something. i think that was one of my first post on this single's forum: it feels like i'm behind in this game everyone has mastered.

They may have more experience than us, but are they really that happy? Going from person to person, with no commitment? Now, I know that not every person who has had premarital sex is loose like that, but without commitment sex means nothing. So they keep on doing it to make themselves happy, and everytime their heart stays empty. You're already on the right track.

and i hate feeling awkward, uncomfortable, nervous, or upset.

i guess i can be a virgin but also be mature.

Well of course. You choose not to conform to the world's "standards" (if you can call it that). Don't worry. Remember that due to your purity, your wedding night will be worth the wait.

 

[vibrant]

hm.

 

[silentpoet]

I did so a sear5ch onit yesterday, because I had been told she was, and your right, the bible never mentions she was, thanks for the correction.

A common mistake. You are not the only one who has been told that.