How Important Is Getting Married To You?

[DragonFox91]

I’m uncertain if most people met their spouse through church in days past. I suspect greater distractions have lessened socialization making church the primary option for some.

If you routinely went outdoors and played with friends or participated in extracurricular activities in school and elsewhere you’d encounter peers. That’s in addition to children of your parent’s friends and others you might meet during family outings.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

Playing w/ friends just led to playing w/ other boys. When you're growing up, boys & girls tend not to mingle. Same w/ extra-cirriculars. So, no.

 

[bèlla]

Playing w/ friends just led to playing w/ other boys. When you're growing up, boys & girls tend not to mingle. Same w/ extra-cirriculars. So, no.

We mingled on the playground and attended dances and events in high school. Not to mention discussions in class. And there’s lunch of course.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[DragonFox91]

We mingled on the playground and attended dances and events in high school. Not to mention discussions in class. And there’s lunch of course.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

I never reallly tried when presented opportunities w/ girls. I didnt think I could. W/ other guys, yes, that was easy. W/ girls, no way.

It's unfortunate sense wasn't talked into me back then, b/c now I'm in trouble, plus still fighting those demons still lingering, tho maturing & becoming more well-rounded has helped.

 

[bèlla]

I never reallly tried when presented opportunities w/ girls. I didnt think I could. W/ other guys, yes, that was easy. W/ girls, no way.

Many had their first dance with the opposite sex in gym. Did you learn ballroom and other forms of dancing? I always enjoyed square dancing and was very good at it!

My grandmother’s church hosted social events for youth twice a month.

Were you told to wait by parents or church leaders?

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[DragonFox91]

Many had their first dance with the opposite sex in gym. Did you learn ballroom and other forms of dancing? I always enjoyed square dancing and was very good at it!

My grandmother’s church hosted social events for youth twice a month.

Were you told to wait by parents or church leaders?

Yours in His Service,

~bella

No, no dancing.

The two churches I attended growing up did have social events. But one church separated the boys & girls, & the girls were unbelievers at the other church.

No, no one's ever told me to wait.

 

[bèlla]

The two churches I attended growing up did have social events. But one church separated the boys & girls, & the girls were unbelievers at the other church.

Good grief. That was unnecessary.

The upside in all of this is awareness and your ability to do the opposite. Your experiences could make you a voice of reason in the church on this issue. And you could work to implement changes for marital preparation for everyone.

Maybe that’s the greater goal. The holy work in hiding.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[DragonFox91]

Good grief. That was unnecessary.

The upside in all of this is awareness and your ability to do the opposite. Your experiences could make you a voice of reason in the church on this issue. And you could work to implement changes for marital preparation for everyone.

Maybe that’s the greater goal. The holy work in hiding.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

Yep, & then churches wonder why they lose believers.

B/c then people seek the world for a partner.

 

[bèlla]

Yep, & then churches wonder why they lose believers.

B/c then people seek the world for a partner.

You’re part of the remedy. Who would champion a change more fervently than someone burned by the standard?

You have quite a platform if you look closer. Not only about dating but addressing the subject for those with mental health challenges or disabilities. That’s a conversation not taking place.

See what happens when you talk to me? The wheels turn and God might drop something in your lap. I’ve never thought that before. It appeared in my head.

I take no credit!

 

[DragonFox91]

You’re part of the remedy. Who would champion a change more fervently than someone burned by the standard?

You have quite a platform if you look closer. Not only about dating but addressing the subject for those with mental health challenges or disabilities. That’s a conversation not taking place.

See what happens when you talk to me? The wheels turn and God might drop something in your lap. I’ve never thought that before. It appeared in my head.

I take no credit!

My dad is blind. He went to disability meetings at the church. I took him once. I kind of wanted to stay w/ him & attend it as well. I sometimes regret I didn't (& not just b/c the girl I want to meet at the church attended them ) I bet now if I took him, I'd stay. Not sure if they're still meeting during COVID. I think those disability meetings were about physical disabilities tho.

Yes, I definitely think I can be a good witness about the topic. But Mental health challenges can be hard to talk about. People who don't struggle w/ them or have experience w/ them don't understand them. Sometimes they don't think they're a big deal. Any platform would have to be targeted.

Ugh, I also regret not being more vocal about wanting to join the Bible Study for my age range at my parents' church that never got off the ground due to lack of interest. First off, it still should've met anyways. Even if it's just the 2 that wanted to start it & me. I regret not being more vocal about that b/c of the age range discrepancies at that church, & other churches I've attended. Why do churches skip the 20s-40s age range? That's THIS generation. We're in BIG Trouble if we're losing this generation. Not sure what the 2 leaders' goals were w/ the Bible Study they were trying to start, but it could've helped address the topic. I'm sure the 2 who wanted to start the Bible study have noticed it too.

Ugh, the church by me is good, & I'm wondering what God can do there, but I feel like there's opportunities at my parent's church I've been dropping the ball on.......I guess for now it's a good thing my parents aren't going. It's easier for me to tell what church I should go to on Sunday!

 

[bèlla]

I bet now if I took him, I'd stay. Not sure if they're still meeting during COVID. I think those disability meetings were about physical disabilities tho.

I bet you’d get lots of support from people with similar struggles. What’s needed is a place where both can talk. People grappling with mental health challenges are usually surrounded by those who aren’t. They need a place to vent and unwind without fear.

Yes, I definitely think I can be a good witness about the topic.

I think you’ll do quite well. Underneath the pain lies strength. You’ve shown it more than once.

I regret not being more vocal about that b/c of the age range discrepancies at that church, & other churches I've attended. Why do churches skip the 20s-40s age range?

Most churches have groups for college students, young adults (up to 30), and seniors. There’s nothing for the 40-60 range if you’re single. You’d have to join women’s or men’s groups or bible studies. Many don’t want to face the growing number of singles forty and over.

Ugh, the church by me is good, & I'm wondering what God can do there, but I feel like there's opportunities at my parent's church I've been dropping the ball on.......I guess for now it's a good thing my parents aren't going. It's easier for me to tell what church I should go to on Sunday!

It sounds like the wheels are turning for the right reasons. Well done!

 

[DragonFox91]

I bet you’d get lots of support from people with similar struggles. What’s needed is a place where both can talk. People grappling with mental health challenges are usually surrounded by those who aren’t. They need a place to vent and unwind without fear.

Hmm, I'm not sure. The people that don't have them or don't understand them don't get it. Yes, people w/ mental health challenges are indeed usually surrounded by those who aren't. So they need someone or something to help them integrate. Encouragement to find a group that wouldn't put pressure on them, think they're weird, etc.

I think you’ll do quite well. Underneath the pain lies strength. You’ve shown it more than once.

We'll see.

Most churches have groups for college students, young adults (up to 30), and seniors. There’s nothing for the 40-60 range if you’re single. You’d have to join women’s or men’s groups or bible studies. Many don’t want to face the growing number of singles forty and over.

Like I'll be.

It sounds like the wheels are turning for the right reasons. Well done!

I was looking at the website of both my parent's church & "my" church. Outside of my church's Sunday School groups, there's not a lot going on still due to COVID. There'll be opportunities. COVID's really interfering w/ everything. As I was saying once, my counselor encouraged me to ask the pastor at my church for things I could minister there that isn't public speaking. The time will come for that.

 

[Tokyo]

Marriage is important to me I'm still young & I would like to start a family but it's difficult to find a Christian who has great qualities & who has mentally matured I'm used to being by myself so even if I don't find what I'm looking for ill be okay with being alone

 

[Alexsalimander]

I have always greatly desired marriage. Still do. It used to be all-important to me, but God has since taught me contentment. So, though I have a great desire for marriage, if I never marry, that will be okay. If God wants to glorify himself through my singleness, then that is what I want to.

 

[bèlla]

I have always greatly desired marriage. Still do. It used to be all-important to me, but God has since taught me contentment. So, though I have a great desire for marriage, if I never marry, that will be okay. If God wants to glorify himself through my singleness, then that is what I want to.

I love your attitude. I wish more believers felt the same. If you haven't developed contentment alone you won't have it when married. Or patience, faith, trust, etc. You carry the whirlwind into your relationship.

You're off to a good start. That opens up doors and opportunities. And it's very attractive too. Your maturity will pay dividends. Keep growing and walking with the Lord. I met my companion in his late twenties. He blew me away. It took three years for us to pursue marriage. But that was his intention from the start.

It's rare to encounter someone who's level-headed and content at your age. I usually see the opposite. Kudos to you. May the Lord grant you the desires of your heart.

~bella

 

[linux.poet]

My future husband, should he ever exist, will not be my everything. On one hand, he's just the man I acquired for the job of handling delicate body parts and raising my children. I think people make too much of a big deal out of it.

I value human beings of the opposite gender and the opportunity to empathize and connect with them. If a male human being wants a physical connection with me because of an emotional connection we have built and there are no reasonable obstacles in the way, I believe it would be cruel to deny him the opportunity to marry me.

On the other hand, if all of my conversations with male human beings never lead to marriage, I will shed no tears. Men are God's valued creations, not targets for a marriage archery tournament. Treating them like that is despicable and I will not be doing that.

 

[Cute Peonies]

Very important haha

I cannot, I don't want and I won't stay single. I have faith in God.

I took a break from dating because of past traumas. This was literally my reaction when a man tried talking to me.

My last rElAtIoNsHip *insert spongebob meme* was too dramatic and toxic and it took me few years to recover. Matter of fact I only started feeling better this year.

I'm doing my best to focus on the present and stop daydreaming about my future married life. Learning to be content where I am is not easy ... Still working on it.