I want to love my wife as Christ loves the Church, I want to have patience with her, I want to reject anger and have compassion and mercy on her and bear fruit. She claims to be a Christian but is the most spiteful, impatient, easily angered, and gossipy person I know. She intentionally attacks my insecurities to "get at me", is so easily triggered by anything I say, creates a list of grievances against me and when I go to change and fix them, she claims I am not doing anything to fix them and then rejects my attempt at fixing my issues. She will get angry and swear at me, make me the bad guys for everything that goes wrong. I will get vulnerable when she is not angry sometimes and share the weight of my sin, stressors, desires, etc. and she will lovingly listen to me, then within 30 minutes go ballistic and use all of my stressors and insecurities I just poured out to her as a weapon against me. She attempts to read her Bible but I believe just sees it as a chore. I have told her countless times about how easily she is angered and asked her where her fruit is and telling her that she cannot behave like this and needs to stop now (to which I received major anger, to be honest, probably rightfully so) to which she goes ballistic and paints me as a legalist. I hope and pray daily that one day, she will stumble across Proverbs 31 and realize that she is NOT the Proverbs 31 wife and I pray that she reads Proverbs 25:24 and realizes she is that woman then turns to the Gospel, changes her ways, and finds mercy and grace in God's presence. I pray that every day nearly. I am with my faults too. Sometimes these things are because of ways I react to her going ballistic but this woman is the most spiteful and contentuous woman I know. The worst part? Within a few hours she is back to her sweet self and apologizes, just to return right back to her vomit so to speak the next day. Jesus said that he who is angry with his brother has already commit murder in his own heart. This woman brings me to anger every time we fight (which is nearly every day). I don't believe in divorce otherwise I would be long gone, I want to bear fruit and have mercy on her but I cannot find it in my heart. She is slowly pushing me away and killing my fruit. How do I love my wife who is so terrible to me? I have prayed time and time again to no avail. I feel nearly hopeless at this point and we haven't even been married a year. I know there will be plenty of "well if you knew this you shouldn't have married her" but this new behavior is entirely new to marriage. Please pray and give me guidance brothers and sisters.
