When I decide to go ahead and do something, I don't wait for the knowing. I do it and if God doesn't like it, He changes my direction. I wanted to be a minister when I was younger, and I applied, and the Bishop told me to spend more time getting experience in church life. So I did that. I then felt that I would be more use as a school teacher, so I went and did a teaching diploma and a bachelor's degree in English. followed by a MA. I spent 19 years being a school teacher. At one stage I became redundant, and while looking for another job I told her that I would go along to the Bishop and see about getting into the ministry. My wife told me, "I did not marry you to become a minister's wife!" I knew from that God did not want me to go in that direction. But she had no objection to me becoming an elder and lay-preacher. At the age of 65 I spent three years doing a Masters in Divinity. I got an average of 95% on all my essays, which was remarkable for me and I knew that God was in it. I am now the senior elder in my church and preach regularly. I never at any time stopped and asked God to give me a word, nor did I have exact knowledge of what I was doing was His will for me. I just went ahead and did things. The door to further teaching closed for me for a number of reasons so I went and worked for the District Court as a Victim Advisor. I ended up in an office where most of the people there were Christians. I knew that God had put me there, and I felt what I was doing was a Christian ministry even though my job was as a Government servant working for the Ministry of Justice. I then decided to retire at the age of 68, not because I got a word from God about it, but that I felt ready to retire. I then was offered three days a week work supporting the manager of a community budgeting organisation (I have been the Board chairperson there since 1998). So that door opened to me, and the pay I get from there plus my age-pension, pays the bills and gives me a good lifestyle.
If I had waited to gain a definite knowledge about stuff, I would never have embarked on the projects that proved to be so successful for me. Sure, I have made mistakes, but we learn from them, and God can turn mistakes into blessings. Sometimes we need to step out in faith into a river believing that the stepping stones will be there. The fact that they are there shows that our faith is justified. If we fall into the river, we just swim to the bank, dry ourselves off, and try at another place in the river!