How do I get my friends to stop avoiding me?

eleos1954

God is Love
Supporter
Nov 14, 2017
9,698
5,614
Utah
✟713,403.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
I'm sick and tired my friends avoiding me all because I try to touch them and tickle them. I was just joking. They avoid me all because I touch them. I was just getting their attention when I forget their names.

How do I get them to stop avoiding me and how do I get them to come back to church?

I would rather show up at their jobs and ask Them how they're doing.

No disrespect ... don't touch anyone (friends) unless they touch you first. Respect other peoples "space". If one is standing any closer than a arm's length, that's too close (unless of course circumstances make that impossible, crowds, elevators etc.). Also, never go to a persons work place, never.

God Bless.
 
Upvote 0

rambot

Senior Member
Apr 13, 2006
24,491
13,111
Up your nose....wid a rubbah hose.
✟361,540.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
CA-Greens
Touching without purpose and without permission is generally seen as unnerving for most people Lanae.
Do you crave physical human contact or is it just really hard for you to make friends? Because if it is the latter, you should look and see what kind of social opportunities there are for people who have the same interests as you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lanae
Upvote 0

Kenny'sID

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Feb 28, 2016
18,185
7,001
69
USA
✟585,304.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
The touching/tickling?...I think she gets it already. :)

As far as her being saved or not...this early in the game, "Christian" listed there on her profile is good enough for me. There just isn't enough to go on to assume anything else. :)

I do think she is lonely though. :(
 
Upvote 0

Open Heart

Well-Known Member
Aug 3, 2014
18,521
4,393
62
Southern California
✟49,214.00
Country
United States
Faith
Seeker
Marital Status
Celibate
I'm sick and tired my friends avoiding me all because I try to touch them and tickle them. I was just joking. They avoid me all because I touch them. I was just getting their attention when I forget their names.

How do I get them to stop avoiding me and how do I get them to come back to church?

I would rather show up at their jobs and ask Them how they're doing.
The way you get them to stop avoiding you is to begin respecting their boundaries. They don't want you touching them, especially tickling them. There are rare moments, like an emotional goodbye, or someone crying, where it is okay to give a goodbye hug. Otherwise you are too close. Even thinking of going to someone's work to confront them shows you have serious problems with boundary issues.

This may be bigger than a forum can help with. My guess is that social skills is a big weakness for you, and that this has been a lifelong problem. You are not alone, and it doesn't make you a bad person. We all have our weaknesses.

My suggestion is that you find a long term life coach or counselor to learn some practical skills. We all have stuff to work on. For example, I'm a loner, and have to learn better how to make friends in real life because I don't know how to take it from "Hi how are you" to "we should have coffee." I have a therapist who helps me role play situations, and then I try them out in real life.
 
Upvote 0

Lanae

Active Member
Sep 20, 2017
209
105
37
NC
✟46,026.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
The way you get them to stop avoiding you is to begin respecting their boundaries. They don't want you touching them, especially tickling them. There are rare moments, like an emotional goodbye, or someone crying, where it is okay to give a goodbye hug. Otherwise you are too close. Even thinking of going to someone's work to confront them shows you have serious problems with boundary issues.

This may be bigger than a forum can help with. My guess is that social skills is a big weakness for you, and that this has been a lifelong problem. You are not alone, and it doesn't make you a bad person. We all have our weaknesses.

My suggestion is that you find a long term life coach or counselor to learn some practical skills. We all have stuff to work on. For example, I'm a loner, and have to learn better how to make friends in real life because I don't know how to take it from "Hi how are you" to "we should have coffee." I have a therapist who helps me role play situations, and then I try them out in real life.


Thank you. I found a center call Triangle Life coaching center near my apartment across the street. I set up an appointment for it tomorrow at 9am
 
Upvote 0

redleghunter

Thank You Jesus!
Supporter
Mar 18, 2014
38,116
34,054
Texas
✟176,076.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I try to touch them and tickle them. I was just joking. They avoid me all because I touch them. I was just getting their attention when I forget their names.
The above is not cool.
 
Upvote 0

Tom 1

Optimistic sceptic
Supporter
Nov 13, 2017
12,212
12,526
Tarnaveni
✟818,769.00
Country
Romania
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I'm sick and tired my friends avoiding me all because I try to touch them and tickle them. I was just joking. They avoid me all because I touch them. I was just getting their attention when I forget their names.

How do I get them to stop avoiding me and how do I get them to come back to church?

I would rather show up at their jobs and ask Them how they're doing.

Some people really don’t like being touched, I’d suggest being careful with people’s personal boundaries/invading personal space until you know them well, and know (from them) what they are comfortable with.
 
Upvote 0

Brian Mcnamee

Well-Known Member
Feb 2, 2017
2,308
1,294
64
usa
✟213,965.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Thx how do I get them to come back to church?
You cannot get them to do anything. 1st you crossed the line by tickling them so it seems you have been to touchy with several individuals. You have then rationalized your behavior as Im just kidding which even if it is true does not take into consideration how you made them feel. If they all started avoiding you at once they probably talked over the similar experiences and decided you are someone that is a bit off. If you want to attempt to repair the friendships you should 1st apologize to them for not respecting their space and tell them you miss them at church and simply ask if they would like to come again. I assume you have their numbers and can text or email them a simple message. They have to choose to want to hang out with you.
 
Upvote 0

LoricaLady

YHWH's
Supporter
Jul 27, 2009
18,504
11,546
Ohio
✟1,072,917.00
Faith
Messianic
Marital Status
Private
I'm sick and tired my friends avoiding me all because I try to touch them and tickle them. I was just joking. They avoid me all because I touch them. I was just getting their attention when I forget their names.

How do I get them to stop avoiding me and how do I get them to come back to church?

I would rather show up at their jobs and ask Them how they're doing.
I would be very offended by someone tickling me. You are getting into their personal space, really disrespecting them. Also, it is not your job to get them to go to Church and that too seems intrusive. To show up at their place of work would be the biggest intrusion of all, seems to me.
I suggest you get some good books and/or good websites on developing social skills and practice in the mirror or with a smartphone or whatever is helpful.
 
Upvote 0

2Timothy2:15

Well-Known Member
Mar 28, 2016
2,226
1,227
CA
✟78,248.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Philippians 4

8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity.

11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
 
  • Winner
Reactions: brinny
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Lanae

Active Member
Sep 20, 2017
209
105
37
NC
✟46,026.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Hi Lanae. How many female friends do you have?

I think 2 or 3 good female friends is key to good company. Especially if they share your value for laughter and especially if they offer a common goal of integrity.

Any good female friends?
I have slot of female friends at church and slot of male. Friends at church also. I used to tickle some of my male friends but I don't do that anymore
 
Upvote 0

All4Christ

✙ The Handmaid of God Laura ✙
CF Senior Ambassador
Supporter
Mar 11, 2003
11,682
8,018
PA
Visit site
✟1,013,227.00
Country
United States
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Married
I had a friend once who was too touchy feelly for me. I asked her to give me a bit of space, and she did that for me :) Now we are really good friends, but she is respectful of my space and time. Don’t push anything, generally speaking, don’t touch people without permission (a tap on the shoulder may be fine if you can’t get someone’s attention - but I’d avoid even that with your friends that asked you to stop touching hem), and be friendly to them. Don’t push the friendship. If they need space, give it to them - and know that God will always be there for you no matter what happens with friends here on earth. Pray to God when you feel lonely.

I agree with some others...a pet may be really good for you . Before my black lab passed away, she was a balm to my soul many times. She was always happy to be very close and was a constant companion to me.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Yoona86

Newbie
Jan 18, 2013
390
91
KaliKingChong
✟30,979.00
Country
New Zealand
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Private
I'm sick and tired my friends avoiding me all because I try to touch them and tickle them. I was just joking. They avoid me all because I touch them. I was just getting their attention when I forget their names.

How do I get them to stop avoiding me and how do I get them to come back to church?

I would rather show up at their jobs and ask Them how they're doing.
if you know it is the tickling and touching that is turning them away from you, then maybe stop doing it, but their facial expression and body language should give you a clue in terms of what they are comfortable with

as far as getting them to come back to church, if they are avoiding you, then it is best to give them some space for now, as such it is not a good idea to show up at their work place
 
Upvote 0

Lanae

Active Member
Sep 20, 2017
209
105
37
NC
✟46,026.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I had a friend once who was too touchy feelly for me. I asked her to give me a bit of space, and she did that for me :) Now we are really good friends, but she is respectful of my space and time. Don’t push anything, generally speaking, don’t touch people without permission (a tap on the shoulder may be fine if you can’t get someone’s attention - but I’d avoid even that with your friends that asked you to stop touching hem), and be friendly to them. Don’t push the friendship. If they need space, give it to them - and know that God will always be there for you no matter what happens with friends here on earth. Pray to God when you feel lonely.

I agree with some others...a pet may be really good for you . Before my black lab passed away, she was a balm to my soul many times. She was always happy to be very close and was a constant companion to me.


sooo kool. I will never going to touch or ticklie, message them everywhere all over the internet, bombard them with text messages, email or call them out of the blue ever again for the rest of my life.
 
  • Like
Reactions: All4Christ
Upvote 0

fat wee robin

Newbie
Jan 12, 2015
2,494
842
✟47,420.00
Country
France
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
sooo kool. I will never going to touch or ticklie, message them everywhere all over the internet, bombard them with text messages, email or call them out of the blue ever again for the rest of my life.
You are a fast learner .:hug:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lanae
Upvote 0

SolomonVII

Well-Known Member
Sep 4, 2003
23,138
4,918
Vancouver
✟147,506.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
CA-Greens
It is not often easy making friends, and a lot of us end up doing all the wrong things before we stumble on the right way to meet people. A smile and a hi are probably more effective greetings in the long run than a tickle and a touch. Other than that, the best way to get people interested is to be interesting. Develop your interests and then you will have something to share.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums