There's no need to apologize, Apple Sky... I was looking to understand, so I appreciate you helping me with a kind response.
I hope that you don't see this as patronizing, but I believe that I understand what you are dealing with because I have the same issue in several areas of my life. It's been a struggle for me to deal with sometimes but with God's overwhelming and steadfast love, His grace and His ability to heal, things are definitely turning around.
I am confident that He is both able and willing to help you too. See this "thing" as a real issue in your life and take it directly to God in prayer - meditate on it as regularly as you can. Of all the things that folks say about addiction, what it is and what isn't, are all distractions to the one truth that I hold to be true, it's not the best of what God wants for me... for me, not from me.
James 5:14-16 (ESV)
13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
God still heals today, Angel Sky, through the Spirit of Jesus, already dwelling inside us.
I'll keep praying for you.