It is a semi stupid thing to be mad and hurt about.
"Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them." (Colossians 3:19)
So, if you are being so you can give in to cruel ways against your wife . . . this is not a small thing, if it can get power over you to get you like this.
So, it does not need to get a label about how bad or embarrassing it is. If it can get to you, like this, there is a major problem. But the issue is not the problem, but your ability to give in to it is the problem, I would say.
"I will not be brought under the power of any," our Apostle Paul does say in 1 Corinthians 6:12.
I personally think this means we need to not ever allow any thing to have power over us so we can be unforgiving about that thing being hurt or changed from how we want it to be.
So, you are attached to something in an evil way, so if something happens to it or it is threatened, you in turn can be hurt and scared and whatever.
But in God's love we have so much better than what you might fear losing, and all we have in love is safe in the almighty keeping power of love. And we are safe from fear and all its different sorts of emotional torment!!
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18)
And our Apostle Peter says >
"And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good?" (1 Peter 3:13)
So, in case little things can get to us, this is major.
But, Neo, I think all of us who have been married and in close sharing with other people have to our great surprise discovered how little issues and changes can get us bent out of shape and even bitter. We might not be so strong and real in love, as we thought.
When we are committed with someone, staying unconditional in love can turn out not to be so easy, after all.
Why? We might have our treasured pleasures and expectations which we want with someone we are sharing with closely. So, if someone close to us seems to be a threat to our selfish treasure, we have no intention of forgiving the one we hope to use for what we selfishly value so much.
For example, I can do nicely with putting things in order so my lady friend can fit things in her refrigerator. I can feel so important to her, because she can act so delighted when I do this.
But then she might not go along with me helping her to get her apartment more in order. And she even can react negatively at how I so heroically am willing to help her. And then is when I can start to have negative and nasty stuff starting in me.
the beginning of bitterness
And it says for husbands not to be bitter against their wives; and surely this goes for other relationships, too. So, I know I am in trouble, and right away I need to trust and depend on God to stop how I am beginning to give in to bitterness. And I need to let go of whatever I might be wanting in a way so I can get bitter about not getting it.
Because this command means > no excuse for any bitterness, at all . . . no matter what she does > no excuse to worship < I am not to worship and glorify any excuse to get bitter.
But be changed by God to love, then discover how He has me being creative and caring with her. And get more this way in loving any and all people. We learn how to love so we love any and all people the way Jesus wants. And in this process we become more like Christ so God is getting all He desires of us, in all this.
We are not here only to get people to please us; we are here first, in order to be changed into the image of Jesus > Romans 8:29. So, we need to seek what matters first with God. So, this is not only about how you can feel less guilty and wrong, but how you can become so pleasing to our Father.
So, greetings to your wife > God bless you
Your good example can help him. Have you been feeding on 1 Peter 3:1-4 about how the good example of Christian wives can help any disobedient husband?