How can I be a good Christian when I suck with people?

[Moonrise Lu]

So I've always felt that I do not follow God well enough, and when I started going back to church about 1.5 years ago (raised Christian, stopped attending but not believing after high school) I've really been trying to make God more a part of my life and following Him and what he wants us to do. The thing I have realized now is that the most important thing overall, as a Christ follower, is to love people, reach out and help them, and help them find Jesus. Every sunday I really think about how I could apply the things God says to my life and it just keeps coming up - help people.

But I freaking suck with people. I've had social anxiety since I was really young and even left public high school because of it. I haven't been able to make any friends at bible study even after a while, and the only people I see are my coworkers (who I can't seem to hold a single convo with) my fiance and his friends (who do like me, but are only friends with me out of association, if we broke up they'd never talk to me again). I literally have no idea how someone like me could help anyone come to God or "love my neighbor", I can't even talk or connect to people.

So how is someone like me supposed to really follow God and help others when I suck with people?

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hi there! a very important consideration is to develop a daily Bible reading and prayer habit for yourself. The desire to meet others who also do this is then a strong one so often, and can help overcome anxieties. Above, seeing the Lord Jesus in the Word and honoring Him in daily life is essential.

God bless His Word to you.

 

[Soyeong]

I think there are lots of ways that you can help people online without interacting with them in a social setting. For instance, I recommend Global Media Outreach:

http://www.globalmediaoutreach.com/

 

[Goodbook]

Can you write?
That's a way of connecting with people, through letters or poems, or art..

 

[Mister_Al]

You can do volunteer work at a food kitchen, you could go to nursing homes and pray for people, or maybe you could help out at a homeless shelter. If you look around you you'll find a way you could be helping people.

Alan

 

[Bass4Jesus]

Yeah, like others have said, you don't need direct contact to serve.

For example, in the Praise & Worship music arena, there are as many and often more people working behind the scenes as there are on stage. Lights, sound, video, production, setup/teardown, drivers, venue seat prep, on and on...

Also churches need social-media updates done, web site maintenance, flyers and programs created/edited/printed, attendance counters, site maintenance (including grounds maintenance), and so on.

There's also nursery work and youth ministry. They might not aggravate your anxieties because they don't involve an adult audience. Nursery is always looking for help on Sundays, I don't care what denomination or what church. They always seem to be short-handed.

Identify what you like to do and where your talents are. Then see if they can be put to alternate use in some kind of support role.

 

[ken777]

So I've always felt that I do not follow God well enough, and when I started going back to church about 1.5 years ago (raised Christian, stopped attending but not believing after high school) I've really been trying to make God more a part of my life and following Him and what he wants us to do. The thing I have realized now is that the most important thing overall, as a Christ follower, is to love people, reach out and help them, and help them find Jesus. Every sunday I really think about how I could apply the things God says to my life and it just keeps coming up - help people.

But I freaking suck with people. I've had social anxiety since I was really young and even left public high school because of it. I haven't been able to make any friends at bible study even after a while, and the only people I see are my coworkers (who I can't seem to hold a single convo with) my fiance and his friends (who do like me, but are only friends with me out of association, if we broke up they'd never talk to me again). I literally have no idea how someone like me could help anyone come to God or "love my neighbor", I can't even talk or connect to people.

So how is someone like me supposed to really follow God and help others when I suck with people?

I have suffered with social anxiety all my life but I find when I am with vulnerable people who need help, I forget all about myself. For me, helping out in a nursing home for the elderly in my local community has been a great blessing to me as well as in some small way fulfilling Jesus' instructions in Mat 25

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.”

.​

 

[BFine]

So I've always felt that I do not follow God well enough, and when I started going back to church about 1.5 years ago (raised Christian, stopped attending but not believing after high school) I've really been trying to make God more a part of my life and following Him and what he wants us to do. The thing I have realized now is that the most important thing overall, as a Christ follower, is to love people, reach out and help them, and help them find Jesus. Every sunday I really think about how I could apply the things God says to my life and it just keeps coming up - help people.

But I freaking suck with people. I've had social anxiety since I was really young and even left public high school because of it. I haven't been able to make any friends at bible study even after a while, and the only people I see are my coworkers (who I can't seem to hold a single convo with) my fiance and his friends (who do like me, but are only friends with me out of association, if we broke up they'd never talk to me again). I literally have no idea how someone like me could help anyone come to God or "love my neighbor", I can't even talk or connect to people.

*Hold up! you have a fiancé? that shows you can communicate with someone else and maintain a
relationship-- it don't matter if it ain't like other people's relationships. We are unique individuals-
not cookie-cutter copies.


So how is someone like me supposed to really follow God and help others when I suck with people?

*Look into God's Word for possible ideas... such as:
Pray for the unchurched:Luke 19:4
Be hospitable toward the spiritually wounded:
Matthew 9:12-13.

Have your eyes and ears "open" to the needs/concerns
of those who are unsaved and possibly in need of
basic necessities.
Find resources that can help them out...whether it be
giving them the appropriate literature, phone numbers
or introducing/arranging for them to meet the right
person etc.

Your own personal relationship and faith walk with the
Lord serves as a visual aid to all who are around you.
Concern yourself with submitting yourself
fully to the Lord each day and striving to walk with Him.

Put on the full armor of God... bible study on that here:
http://www.freebiblestudyguides.org/bible-teachings/armor-of-god.htm

Focus on God not your "flaws".
Your identity is: You are a child of God and with Him
you have all you need to overcome!
Get into God's Word and let it sink deep inside of you,
believe it...apply it in your life each day.

If you continue to focus on your "flaws", then you will
act accordingly... you say: "I suck with people"... you
see what I mean?
Instead-- say: "I'm going to walk in God's truth and
seek help with learning to communicate better starting
ASAP!"

Early life lessons...
How did you learn to walk? You start by learning to crawl..
on your hands and knees.
The same goes with learning to reach out to others...you
mutter, splutter-- crawl along...you keep at it, you don't
quit...you keep going and going.

As a baby, your mom/dad etc helped you to walk, talk,
dress yourself etc. Same type of thing is needed if you
have trouble communicating with other people-- you need
to be taught ...better known as being discipled/shepherded.
Get hooked up with a godly teachers/mentors who can come
alongside you and help walk you through all the steps.

You see when I was young, I stuttered horribly... so I'd
stay quiet, let others talk and I listened or would have my
head in a book etc.

In school I was the butt of jokes, others mocked my stuttering-- it wasn't easy going to school each day but
I went any way...thanks to having godly influences early
in life.

But...
My fear of stuttering, self doubts etc...had me "shackled" and I believed I wouldn't ever get passed
that and I remained quiet as a mouse a LONG time
and would take bad grades instead of reading aloud
in class...I was stubborn.

God open a door...
My school arranged for me to have a speech
therapist and later on I qualified to go to Duke University's
speech camp for two summers (my school paid for it.)
I went through the basic program the first year which was
like learning to talk all over again, the second year(summer)
I was in the advanced program...Now, I can speak pretty much without stuttering unless I'm nervous/or around people I don't know.
Many people have no clue that I stutter
at all because I developed a fairly good sense of humor
to take the pressure off, then I can speak unhindered.
(My humor is more along the line of being corny.)