How can a new believer stand up for God?

[newbeliever02072005]

Hello Everyone ,

I am needing some help with a situation. Recently, I became a new believer of Jesus Christ (2-7-05). I have been married for over 11 years now. My husband is not a christian and really doesn't have any plans on becoming one. However, he is very supportive of my decision to walk with the Lord. He realizes that your spirtual life is a personal endeavor. I am thankful that I do not have a "battle within" our home for what I believe in. My wish is that he will come to know and accept the Lord. Maybe seeing me as an example of what God can do in a persons life will open his eyes. So, if you all could pray for him I would greatly appreciate that. Now, so far I have had it easy with displaying my badge of honor with my immediate family....husband /kids. The dilemia I have is with my brother in law. He is a very aggressive man and strong in his beliefs. He does not believe in God. He believes that we are all 'godlike" creatures. Having the potential to do godlike things just has Jesus did. Somewhere alone the line he says we have lost that "enlightenment to be god" by our sinful and guilty pleasures we enjoy here on earth. He recently discovered that I have been going to church and has made it known that when we meet up he is going to "have the talk" with me. Which means he does not approve of my decision. Now, I know that if he was an acquaintence it would be so easy for me to avoid him. Since he is a family member I am forced to stand up to him for what I believe in. Being a new christian how can I "arm" myself against the ridicules and put downs I will receive from him. How can I seem knowledgeable with my faith in God if I am new at this, new at reading the bible. I do not have scriptures that I can refer to , to help me be empowered. I do not want to cowar or weaken in his prescence but want to be strong and stand tall for Jesus. I wonder if this is the first test of God to see if I am a true christian. Is he testing me to see if I can withstand the persecution from a non - christian. If I fail does that mean I could be considered a "Judas"? I certainly do not want to be labeled that.

Most frustrating thing for me at the moment is not knowing what I should do as a christian. I am thirsty for his Word.....just seems I can't get enough of it. There is so much to learn in the bible and I want to know it all NOW. Another test from God....patiences in learning?

If anyone could give me some scriptures to make me feel strong enough to stand up to my brother in law , I sure would love to receive some ideas

Thank you so much.......God Bless!!!



P.S. - maybe a prayer or two might be helpful too!

 

[Iron Lion]

Believe me, you are a true Christian. Dont doubt that if you believe in Jesus and that he died for you sins.

As for your family member. Dont worry about coming across without haveing knowledge and fearing to need to defend your self. Just put it plainly and say, its my decision to become a christian regardless of what ever you think. Explain that your knowledge isnt that great as of yet because you are still in a learning period. Maybey if you have time read the 4 gospels and acts, The gospels to get a good idea of what Jesus taught and then from the books of acts you can get an idea of the early church. Make notes if you choose. Anything you arent clear on about the teaching of Jesus you can ask here on CF forums.

Believe me, God wont mind if you dont know an answer to a question. ITs what you fell inside towards him that matters. Being able to defend faith takes time. Just pray that God gives you the strenth to stand up strong.

God will love you no matter what.

God Bless, please ask as many questions as you need.

 

[chilibowl]

The most important thing for you now is to nourish yourself in the word first, get yourself a good teen devotional bible no matter your age because the commentary helps explain a lot of difficult text, and it breaks it all down to the principals which, is something you can spend years doing yourself. As far as confronting your brother in law,, Don't your not ready.. don't allow the same pride that forces him to be little you (Reinforcing his faith) drive you.
Most "christians" love a good debate. All it does, is drives a stake of hatred in to the heart of the vanquished, giving the victor a selfrightous high... Why would the outcome be the same no matter who won the debate, if this was a god sanctioned activity... We are commanded by god to give an account when asked, we are asked buy our brothers "To Command a defense"... What's the difference?... HEART, why you did what you did... not what you tell others, but truly why..
I'm not saying, you should not defend the faith, there is a time and place for all things.. It just sounds like your alittle to eager to "Show him" and not recruit him..The one principal that is most dominating in all of christianity is "Where your heart is, in what your doing, or have done" If you can keep that at the for-front of all your desisions then you'll be ahead of most of us..

So what can you do? know What and why you belive in god!
answered if asked, and know that if it is a matter of faith then, you will be made to look foolish and Idealistic, or even simple minded... but that's OK! we were told if we are on the right path then these things would happen... It's kinda of a test and welcome from god... His son was not spared then who are you to be spared?... The only time you should truly worry is when your scrambling for answers in the bible to foolish questions. Maturity is a sought after commodity in the faith, one hard to come by, especially engauging in fools errands... So know what you belive, why you belive, serve,.. learn,.. obey.. turn the other cheek when confronted unjustly, and use what you learn to help others do the same... this is the path to true enlightenment, We were built by the father to serve and worship, and true happiness will never be found doing anything else.

Good luck and god bless

 

[vinc]

I am reminded of this particular verse which has helped me often -

Luke 21:14-15, "Settle it therefore in your hearts, not to meditate before what ye shall answer: 15 For I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all your adversaries shall not be able to gainsay nor resist".

So, you need not think before itself what you are going to answer to your bro-in-law. God will give you the wisdom at that time. You need not be a well-read Bible Scholar to explain a few words about your new-found faith in Lord Jesus Christ.

I also remember a quote which a christian friend of mine suggested me and has been a consolation to me "It is better to lose the arguement and win the person than win the arguement and lose the person".

God is not going to hate you even if you lose the arguement or are incapable of answering some of the questions your bro-in-law might ask during the course of the conversation.

Its nice to know that you have such a cool husband who allows you to follow Christianity.

I am adding the following scripture verses which you might already be knowing for guidance to win your husband for Lord Jesus Christ -

1 Peter 3:1-6, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement."

Your bro-in-law is right in the fact that we can all do what Jesus Christ did. This is very true. We are all to grow into the fulness of the stature of Lord Jesus Christ. But, we cannot do what Lord Jesus Christ did without His help and grace. The one aim of Christianity is to live as Lord Jesus Christ lived and to grow spiritually and become like Him finally. This is possible only for those who repent of their sins and seek His help.

 

[sandman]

You cannot expect yourself to know everything or for that matter anything that he will throw at you ….his egotistical goal will be to tear down Christianity to make you look small (in a nice way) for believing what you believe ……of coarse I don’t know your bro-in-law but that is the typical response from those who have hewed out themselves their own philosophical beliefs. His philosophical beliefs means he has no boundaries anything is right …it would be like building a house with several different blue prints and trying to make it mesh together. He may be able to construct a semblance of an outer shell, but on the inside, from the foundation up it will be a dysfunctional structure. The thing with philosophical beliefs is, you can make things up as you go, as long as they appear rational and thought provoking; we just toss them into our dysfunctional home and see if they work. Sometimes they look real good, totally functional, but appearances can be deceiving.

Take for example this dysfunctional home, which has a service drop for 60 amp electrical panel. Inside is a brand new electric range and new electric dryer and to keep us cool in the summer we have a 5 ton A/C unit ….sounds good, right …..The problem is the supply comes nowhere close to the demand for the needs we have in that home. That is much like philosophy or ideologies that people hew out for themselves, they may look good, they may be functional to a degree, but just when you need the power ….it ain’t there.

Jeremiah 2:13 For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.

There is no disgrace, embarrassment or shame in not knowing the answers to every question one poses. But I can assure you there is an answer to everything that pertains to life and godliness in the Bible.

II Peter 1:3 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: If you don’t know the answer, just say you don’t know, but you will find out. I use to write things down when I didn’t know and somehow God would always supply the answer, and keep in mind the people on this forum are always more then willing to help out.

You can’t expect to have an answer for everything any more then you ask an 8th grader to become a judge. Just be at peace and know that God is at work within you. You will grow and learn, and soon you will be looking foreword to meeting with your bro-in-law to teach him the greatness of Gods word.



God bless

sandman

 

[DawnTillery]

I wish I had the scripture on hand that talks about those that TRY to turn believers away from God, that would be one to show your family member. (I am sure someone reading this may be able to reply with it).. I am also new beleiver 8 mths now and I deal with a lot of what you are talking about, but you know...... Jesus took a lot for us, so when people start on me, I remember that and I know I can take "it" for Him.
I was also in your shoes, I was saved first, 3 1/2 mths later (after getting my husband to church) he was also saved on a Sunday Morning, it was beautiful. I just started out asking my husband to go with me, maybe at the beginning of the week and then later in the week then on Sunday morning, my husband finally decided to come because I was being baptised and then he started coming every Sunday.
Gods word is given to us in the Bible and thats what I tell people that start on me..
I dont think God wants us to argue with people, but just to let other people know that He loves them and what is needed to be done to be saved.

 

[jarshwoo]

2 Corinthians 5:17 Anyone in Christ is a new creature, the old things have passed away and the new things have come. You are a new person and just an infant in Christianity. Jesus doesn't expect you to be a bible master but you have to stand your ground. If he wants to argue just walk into the other room and tell your husband to have him leave you alone. This is the hardest thing about Christianity because there is always someone who wants to mock you. Even if he gets under your skin and breaks you down don't sweat it. As long as you tried your best that is all that matters. I would read Psalm 91 and focus on 14-16. It talks about those who acknowledge God's name he will in turn protect you, rescue you, and show you his salvation. All you have to do is acknowledge Jesus name as your Lord and Savior. It doesn't matter if you can't answer questions because in time they will come.

Remember also as you grow in knowledge and the truth that arguing is not allowed. If he wants to have a debate and defame the name of Jesus you will have to refrain from the conversation. This is the hardest because once you feel you can stand your ground with confidence you want to debate but it says that if they don't want to hear the message to shake the dust off your feet and move on. If he can't have a civil conversation then you should not have one at all. The way that your personality changes and you mold your new character will be a witness in itself. There is an old saying that goes "Kill them with Kindness". No matter what he throws at you just smile and be as kind as possible. Just continue to be kind and pleasant and don't let him get under your skin. This will drive him nuts. Tell him you will pray for him and walk away.

Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse. He will persecute and attack you verbally but remember he doesn't know Jesus because if he did he wouldn't treat you this way. Just pray that the Holy Spirit will convict him and break him down to where he would want to come to salvation as well. I would also read Romans chapter 1:18-32 which will tell you where he is right now and how he has been turned over to the sinful nature.

I would also focus on Romans for their are major themes here and I would suggest that you get a life application bible. They cost around $50 and up but they have descriptive paragraphs at the bottome describing scriptures in modern day terms and they also have maps, cross references for scriptures, charts, and introductions to each book.

In 1 Corinthians chapter 13 talks about love which is the most important trait to express as a Christian. Look in your concordance for other scriptures on Love and Mercy and Grace.

Also remember not to judge him even if he is belittling you. We cannot judge anyone for that is God's job and do not take revenge. For it is written It is mine to avenge, I will repay says the lord (romans 12). Read Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you. No matter how much he annoys you or how mean he is to you when its all said and done tell him that you forgive him. This will blow his mind and God will bless you for it.

Remember Jesus will never forsake you and you don't have to be a bible professor to defend his name. Just stand in confidence and tell your brother in law that Jesus in your Lord and Savior and that you believe God raised him from the dead. Romans 10:9

Good luck with your situation and our prayers are with you.

 

[Tavita]

Your brother-in-law has no right to 'have the talk' with you about any decision you make as a free thinking and 'free' adult. If he has no right to 'have the talk' to you about your political choices and beliefs then he has no right to make you answer for your religious beliefs. Just let him know in a friendly and firm way that you won't tolerate being interrogated or questioned unless it's genuine inquiry. Be confident in yourself as a person who has her own mind. Let him know that if he really wants to know for his own sake that you'll be happy to oblige, but otherwise, don't allow yourself to be intimidated. And don't allow yourself to be dragged into a debate. The Lord only requires that you be submissive to your OWN husband.

(1Pe 3:1) In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,

 

[Wakeup2god]

The battle belongs to the Lord sister. Let Him fight it. When people come against us they come against our God. Don't let this man steal your peace. You have the Prince of Peace on your side. In my experiance there is no talking to such people. Like some on this site who like to attack the foundation if Genesis, they just want to cause unrest. This is a case where you can turn the other cheek and bless your enemies.

Lord I pray that by your Holy Spirit You would convict this man of his judgemental heart. That you would convict him of his sin and his distance from You. Also we pray that you would give our sister peace that surpasses all understanding, wisdom where needed and an abundance of grace to pour out on those around her. Shine trough her Lord we pray in Jesus mighty name. Amen

 

[arunma]

If I fail does that mean I could be considered a "Judas"? I certainly do not want to be labeled that.

That sentence stuck out, so I just wanted to make a comment. Remember, no one is justified by "doing stuff." The only thing that would make you a Judas is if you stopped believing in Christ. If you believe in Christ, then you belong to him; failure to evangelize others can't pluck you from his hand. If you read the book of Acts, you'll see that our own apostle Paul had some pretty embarassing failures himself! Yet God loved him and was with him to the end.

Now, this twenty year old college student is certainly in no place to give advice to married couples. But I think 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 might be of interest to you:

To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

The way I understand this, Paul is trying to tell us that we shouldn't feel guilty if we are unable to save an unbelieving spouse, because no one can save but God himself.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

Your brother-in-law has no right to 'have the talk' with you about any decision you make as a free thinking and 'free' adult. If he has no right to 'have the talk' to you about your political choices and beliefs then he has no right to make you answer for your religious beliefs. Just let him know in a friendly and firm way that you won't tolerate being interrogated or questioned unless it's genuine inquiry. Be confident in yourself as a person who has her own mind. Let him know that if he really wants to know for his own sake that you'll be happy to oblige, but otherwise, don't allow yourself to be intimidated. And don't allow yourself to be dragged into a debate. The Lord only requires that you be submissive to your OWN husband.

(1Pe 3:1) In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,

This was my initial reaction when I read your post. I agree with Tavita. Be friendly, let him know that these are you beliefs and leave it at that. If he's out for a "discussion" or debate, I'd turn and walk away. Or just let him say his peace, nod and move on. Being family, I think you should respect his decision and he respect yours, but you are no way to submit to him or be "forced" to tell him why you believe what you believe.

 

[newbeliever02072005]

Thank you so much for everyones replies. I am at peace now...I've prayed about it and listen to some of the advice from here. Its amazing to me how God gives you peace when you need it. I truly was dreading my brother n law and the lecture I am going to endure. I know how he can get and he is very aggressive. I knew that I would crumble if I tried to give him reasons why I have faith in God. Now I know I do not have to. God will be with me that day and he will give me the calmness and the right words I need. So, NO worries anymore What an awesome feeling!!!

God Bless you All!!!!
newbeliever

 

[melissa18_05]

I believe this is a test from God. I have been trying to get a friend to come to church with me but she says she might be judge of her circumstances. I tried to enlighten her about how God loves her and that people won't judge her... and one day she told me flat out "no". It hurt me. But i now know that prayer comes a long way. Just pray for His strength, he is with you where ever you are. God Bless.

 

[newbeliever02072005]

I believe this is a test from God. I have been trying to get a friend to come to church with me but she says she might be judge of her circumstances. I tried to enlighten her about how God loves her and that people won't judge her... and one day she told me flat out "no". It hurt me. But i now know that prayer comes a long way. Just pray for His strength, he is with you where ever you are. God Bless.

Thank you , I'll pray for your friend that she will be open to coming to church with you. I wonder if you invited her to a christian activity that would be held outside of the church. Might be less "threatening" for her. She gets a taste of what its like to fellowship with other people her age, she just might enjoy it. Its an idea.

Take care and thank you again for your kind words.

newbeliever

 

[TheListener]

I don't think God "tests" our worthiness.

But he does teach us and change us.

Read the book "More than a carpenter" by Josh McDowell and then hand it to hubby, and then (if you dare ) to your bro-in-law. It usually crushes peoples misconceptions fairly efficiently and gives them a bit of insight into Christianity & the oh-so-popular false-stigma attached to Christianity by media.