Is this thread a joke? Am I missing the punchline?
For all the homosexual Christians out there having to put up with discrimination like this from your narrow minded brothers; my prayers are with you.
Tired of constantly having to defend myself Christianity to other Christians, claiming that homosexual Christian was an oxymoron, (is heterosexual Christian redundant? Is a guy that goes to strip clubs, or sleeps with lots of women, Christian simply because he is heterosexual?), I researched and practiced Buddhism for a few years. I found God in it, surprisingly.
One of the practices is to sit in meditation when you feel anger or hurt or hatred towards someone who has purposely tried to harm you physically, mentally, or spiritually. You sit with this person clearly in front of you, and envision them surrounded by dark smoke. You breathe in that dark smoke, like a vacuum cleaner, and breath out love and light and sunlight toward them. As you do this, you say, "I bless you, my enemy, for you have been my greatest teacher. I humble and sincerely thank you."
Logically, it made no sense. Why would I breathe in smoke? Why would I thank them?
However, I understood in practice. I thanked them that they challenged my love to grow. They challenged me to learn how to have compassion for someone who mistreated me, to truly forgive someone who had wronged me and not apologized. They taught me how to love a little more. And I thanked God for the opportunity to grow, and the opportunity to show a different way to live.
On TOL, many of the active Christian posters were allowed to be as vulgar and as insulting or mocking as they wished, because the mods claimed that it was loving, trying to get the person to turn from homosexuality. I, however, was expected to not respond in kind, or was reprimanded. I had to take the high road. In response to, "I hate your guts, and so does God! I can't wait to rejoice over your blood on Judgment" with "I'm sorry you feel that way. May God bless you and keep you and make himself known in your life."
I sometimes think about how much easier it would have been to have been born straight. I could sleep with women, and people would say, "Boys will be boys." Other guys would high five me, like I scored a touchdown. I could even prepare for my wedding by having my best man hire strippers or even prostitutes, and no one says a word. I could hold hands with the person I was dating, and never think twice. I could get married, and never have to fight for the right in court. I would never be assumed that I may molest a child. I could get drunk, smoke weed, watch porn, gamble, swear, and no one would say, "You aren't a Christian!" I wouldn't have my love relationship seen only as a lustful sex act. I wouldn't have to explain why I "chose" to be heterosexual. I wouldn't be accused of disobeying God, even if I was unmarried and sexually active. I wouldn't have to come out to my family, and fear rejection, and experience distance. I wouldn't have Pat Robertson saying that I am the reason that planes flew into the WTC. I could get STD's, and be forgiven, while condemning gays for AIDS. I would see myself reflected in every TV show, every commercial and movie, and get upset if one gay character dared show his face.
It would have been so much easier, and I often pleaded with God when I was younger to take it away, asked him why he would curse me like this. What I have learned over the years was that I was gay because God knew I could handle it, and gays and lesbians are one way that God challenges Christians to really examine their hearts. If there is so much hatred toward us, God illuminates that, and asks how one can hate his brother, and love God. God illuminates treating others with injustice, illuminates the murder within their hearts for those who insist on quoting the death penalty of Leviticus. He illuminates our interpretation of the bible, even our understanding of such stories as S&G, which are not about homosexuality at all. He illuminates how we justify killing someone who is gay. He illuminates our callousness to those who are living and have died of HIV and AIDS. He lifts us up as examples when we return curse with blessing, when we remain steadfast when told that God hates us.
He uses us as servants for his will. And so now, I thank him. I accept the challenge instead of yearn for an easier life. And from time to time, God sends someone like you, a sanctuary in the storm, and I hear God's voice of encouragement, telling me to keep going, and that I'm almost at the finish line.