Texas Lynn
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- Dec 17, 2002
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I know both sexes are very different. I know I couldn't raise a boy into a strong, capable man all by myself. He'd definitely need male role models, if not seek them out himself. Some boys with single Mom's who are products of divorce have said "I want to live with my Father" and the court allowed them to live with their Father. I know of several in my own extended family where this has happened.
And if gay couples hide who the other real birth parent is, most children if not all will go into depression, and when they reach adulthood, they will seek out the missing birth parent.
While we may want a romantic ideal that love is all a child needs, that is not the reality of all a child needs.
Our purpose is to raise adults because parents never know how long they will live. This "love" approach could give you an enabled child who doesn't know how to be an adult nor take on adult responsibilities. We are only children for a little while, but we face a lifelong challenge of adulthood. We are raising adults, not children.
In the best-known chronicle of adoption by a gay couple, Dan Savage's The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Get Pregnant, Savage noted they opted for open adoption, the usual procedure these days. In that they have regular contact with their son's birth parents who are "gutter punks" in the argot of the urban Northwest (homeless beggars who travel primarily between Seattle, Washington, and Portland, Oregon, and do not stay in shelters because they will not take their dogs). IMO all adoptions should be open adoptions.
The rest of your post there consists of basically a pie-in-the-sky viewpoint of parenting. This is not a perfect world and attempts to oppress folks does not help to make it so. Some have dealt with this reality; others have not.
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