Hi. My Name is......

[justanobserver]

Um...yeah! How about dessert? Hubby'll smoke a brisket and some ribs. I think I can do a salad without messing it up to bad.

hmmmm, lets seee - some oysters on the coals, asparagus in a light olive oil (seasoned with lemon/garlic salt and pepper of course) wrapped in aluminum foil off to the side, corn on the cob with herb/butter dip...

oh yeah!

plus some smoked salmon and smoked catfish as snacks.

this could be fun!

 

[justanobserver]

YESTERDAY....
TODAY and TOMORROW

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is YESTERDAY with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. YESTERDAY has passed forever beyond our control.

All the money in the world cannot bring back YESTERDAY. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. YESTERDAY is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is TOMORROW with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and poor performance. TOMORROW is also beyond our immediate control.

TOMORROW'S sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds - but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in TOMORROW, for it is as yet unborn.

This leaves only one day - TODAY - Any man can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities – YESTERDAY and TOMORROW that we break down.

It is not the experience of TODAY that drives men mad - it is remorse or bitterness for something which happened YESTERDAY and the dread of what TOMORROW may bring.

Let us, therefore, live but one day at a time.

these are words of wisdom. thank you for posting this.

 

[justanobserver]

Step 8 & 9 are about making amends, not just saying I am sorry. For me that meant a change in lifestyle and changes in relations with others.

Here is a quote from the Big Book on making amends:

"There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don't worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. Some people cannot be seen - we send them an honest letter. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don't delay if it can be avoided. We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping. As God's people we stand on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone." page 83.

I think we all go through this stage of our development, I know I did. But as long as I continue on the journey I will overcome that which stands between me and being happy, joyous and free.

"There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don't worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could...."

this really describes where I need to be/should be in regards about my oldest son and I and the past. We didnt see each other for over 10 yrs, talked maybe a dozen times in that period. The hard the part for me is we started to really talk this past year and I saw him for the first time last Jun after he got out of his court ordered rehab and now is about to go to prison.

But I have told family members that I was done saying sorry but I still say it and still feel the need to do so.

But, I do appreciate your thoughts and input and giving me food for thought and answers that I need to look at closely.

Norm

 

[PrairieGurl]

hmmmm, lets seee - some oysters on the coals, asparagus in a light olive oil (seasoned with lemon/garlic salt and pepper of course) wrapped in aluminum foil off to the side, corn on the cob with herb/butter dip...

oh yeah!

plus some smoked salmon and smoked catfish as snacks.

this could be fun!

With a menu like that...who the heck would have room for desert???

 

[justanobserver]

With a menu like that...who the heck would have room for desert???

Oh, you mean like my homemade cinnamon crust blackberry pie???? Trust me - I will ALWAYS have room for dessert!

 

[PrairieGurl]

Um...yeah! How about dessert? Hubby'll smoke a brisket and some ribs. I think I can do a salad without messing it up to bad.

Seems like Norm is bringing the desert

 

[Garnet2727]

Works for me! Sounds like a better menu than a resteraunt.

 

[PrairieGurl]

I am so happy we can come here and not only share our troubles and victories....

But that we can have 'fun' also!

Last nite at Dustin's hockey game...I was having such a good time and laughing almost uncontrolablely...that I almost felt like my family might think I'd been in the 'sauce'....I said..."WOW, I can have a GRAND time while sober!!!" It was a great revelation! I had forgotten what it was like to have an incrediably good time with out booze!

It's great and no major hangover...BONUS!

 

[mustang_94]

Hey, You guys stop talking about food. You're making my mouth water. Good to see everyone is healthy, wealthy and wise.

 

[justanobserver]

Good to see everyone is healthy, wealthy and wise.

I am healthy, wealthy, wise?? how about a 0 for 3 on that?

healthy - worn down some - tired.

wealthy - on a good day, sometimes I have enough to rub 2 pennies together! other than that, if I need money, I gotta ask my ex - she's got it all!

wise - well, ummm, gimme a sec, lets see, I went to school once...

how you be, Mustang?

 

[mustang_94]

Passable Brother, Just passable, The weather is about to ruin my job.

Other than that, I'm seriously trying to work on this book thing. I've been threatening to do it for years, but always have some excuse to not start. Well, I've run out of excuses. I decided I'm going to write regardless. So, I am. Other than some clean-up, I believe I have written the first chapter. Feels good to have finally done something besides talk about it.

Not that I would ever procrastinat or any thing uncool like that I sort of always believed I could, but God forbid I should find out I couldn't. You know what I mean? Alcoholics and they "feelings," Huh! Always good to hear from you and I hope you are able to keep it between the ditches.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Since it's my first Christmas with out the alcohol, any tips on how to not have 'that drink' at the In Law's? I don't know why, but it seems different than keeping away from it during any other day... make sense?

 

[BigToe]

I think it makes sense to worry about it. My mom hasn't had any family around her for her first two Christmases not drinking. This year she is inviting us to visit her. It won't be a big deal as I don't really ever drink anyway and my sister is paranoid even an empty bottle around is in bad form around my mother.

Anyway, I don't have tips for you but I do wish you luck. I'm sure you'll know what you need to take care of yourself and hopefully your family will understand that.

 

[Garnet2727]

Since it's my first Christmas with out the alcohol, any tips on how to not have 'that drink' at the In Law's? I don't know why, but it seems different than keeping away from it during any other day... make sense?

It makes a lot of sense. I have lately started taking my own things to drink when I go to someone's house. Fresca, caffiene free, sugar free and tart/sweet is my new found addiction. It's a comfortable, familiar taste that helps me get over the urge. One of my hosts once pressed me a to take a glass of homemade wine. I gave a little white lie, "I'm sorry. I'd love to try your wine, but I'm on a medication now that makes me ill if I have any alcohol."

My close friends and family know that I'm an alcoholic so it's usually only an issue when I visit acquaintances who drink. So, I guess it may be wrong to lie, but I've found it very effective when being pressed to have "just one."

Meh..I'm babbling...so I'll hush now.

 

[LoG]

In my first couple of years of sobriety, I never went to a place where alcohol was being served without having a quick escape route if the need arose. I even told the hosts up front that if I suddenly disappeared it was nothing personal but that I valued my continued sobriety. Combined with prayer that God would give me the strength and the humility to leave if I needed to, kept me safe.

ps. On several occasions I found that by being up front with the hosts in that way, motivated them to not only respect my sobriety but even do what they could to protect it.

 

[mustang_94]

I think it makes sense to worry about it. My mom hasn't had any family around her for her first two Christmases not drinking. This year she is inviting us to visit her. It won't be a big deal as I don't really ever drink anyway and my sister is paranoid even an empty bottle around is in bad form around my mother.

Anyway, I don't have tips for you but I do wish you luck. I'm sure you'll know what you need to take care of yourself and hopefully your family will understand that.

Wendy, I think Lion of God hit it right on the money. If I were diabetic, I would not be ashamed to turn down sweets. I would simply say, I can't. No explanation nessesary. ( Told you I couldn't spell ) Jim

 

[PrairieGurl]

Wendy, I think Lion of God hit it right on the money. If I were diabetic, I would not be ashamed to turn down sweets. I would simply say, I can't. No explanation nessesary. ( Told you I couldn't spell ) Jim

Yeah, I agree Jim...Lion of God is a very wise man.

The bonus is my husband will be there and he does tend to feel the need to 'babysit' me. The only place where we'll be going where there will be alcohol...is his Mom's place.

So prayer and 'no thank you' it shall be.

I'm not ashamed to turn it down...it's just a major thing at my Mom in Law's. It's that Greek thing that I have been doing for the last 20 years....and I guess won't be doing for the next 20 years

 

[BigToe]

You can start a new tradition for yourself that doesn't involve alcohol. Then you can participate in the holiday traditions and not be tempted to do what you know you shouldn't or feel left out.

 

[LoG]

Yeah, I agree Jim...Lion of God is a very wise man.

Well thanks but not really. Just experience gained from doing everything backwards. God mainly had to protect me from me and I learned a few things along the way.

 

[Garnet2727]

Hmmmm. Is anyone in the position where they can't allow some people to know they are an alcoholic? I can't let anyone I work with know that. I could lose my job and potentially, other jobs.

That's why I gave the example of a white lie in an earlier post. Any one else in this boat? How do you handle it?