Help understanding Heb 10:26-27? Is there any hope for me?

[nigheandonn]

My spiritual journey thus far is a very long story, and I'll spare you all the novel (it can be found in my post history if anyone is interested), but I have a question about this verse. I know intellectually that the Bible is true, but I am having a horrifically hard time accepting that is is really true right now, believing rather than just knowing, feeling a need to repent/feeling sorry for my sins, etc. I'm terrified of Jesus coming back before I get all this worked out and being judged and also just of the idea of God in general (not just because of His wrath but also because the idea of something that big just scares me). I went through a period of crying out to God and wanting to follow Him and very tentatively thinking I might be saved, but one day it was like He just withdrew, and I lost all of that. I'm not sure I ever actually was saved during that time because I was focused more on just believing God existed and the events in the Bible happened than on Jesus, and I think my repentance may have some from fear. Now I'm scared but also apathetic (an odd combination), and I don't really know where to go from here. I came across this verse today:

Hebrews 10:26-27 (NIV): "If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God."

Is there no hope left for me because I know intellectually it's true and for some reason can't get myself to comprehend it/truly repent? What is even wrong with me? Sometimes I feel like that guy who asked what he needed to do to have eternal life and went away sadly because of Jesus saying he had to give up everything... something is just not clicking. If I can't be saved, please be honest with me. I want to know the truth.

 

[cammie]

Is there a difference between DELIBERATELY sinning and "catching ourselves sinning inadvertently "and then confessing/repenting? We will all keep improving but will continue to sin. Only Jesus was sinless. So, perhaps someone here can tell us about that word deliberate. I will pray for your fearful feelings and that you can be comforted.
cammie

 

[Sketcher]

If that described you, then I'm not sure you would be asking this question. The Lord sought Peter out and took him back, so there is hope for people who have rebelled after becoming Christians. I actually know one such Christian.

 

[nigheandonn]

If that described you, then I'm not sure you would be asking this question. The Lord sought Peter out and took him back, so there is hope for people who have rebelled after becoming Christians. I actually know one such Christian.

Are you referring to when Peter denied Christ or another time?

 

[BFine]

Hebrews 10: 26-27--
Judas Iscariot is a perfect example of what the verse says—Judas had knowledge
but he lacked true faith.
No other rejector of the truth had more or better exposure to the love and
grace of God than Judas.
He was part of Jesus’ inner circle of disciples, eating, sleeping, and traveling with
Him for years. He saw the miracles and heard the words of God from Jesus’ very lips,
from the best preacher the world has ever known, and yet he not only turned away
but was instrumental in the plot to kill Jesus.

Judas having turned his back on the truth, and with full knowledge choosing to
willfully and continually sin, the apostate is then beyond salvation because he
has rejected the one true sacrifice for sins: the Lord Jesus Christ.
If Christ’s sacrifice is rejected, then all hope of salvation is gone.

What I'm getting from your post is fear, confusion etc.... do you suffer with scrupulosity?


I've shared this with several others on here and I will share
it with you.

Seeking the Lord for salvation?

*Jesus said:
"Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like
a little child will never enter it." [Mark 10:15]
The simplicity of the little child is the model and the rule for every one who desires,
by the grace of Christ, to obtain the kingdom of heaven... meaning: "As a little child"
with humility and meekness.

No to do list... just a person realizing they are a sinner in need of the gift of salvation
paid for by the Redeemer, Christ the Lord.

We are all infected with sin (Romans 3:23).
Sin is what separates us from God.

Jesus’ death on the cross was the perfect and complete payment for our sin
(1 John 2:2).

Jesus died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins (Romans 5:8; 2 Corinthians 5:21). Jesus died in our place, taking the punishment that we deserved.
His resurrection proved that Jesus’ death was sufficient to pay for our sins.

What do I need to do to be saved?
“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31).
God has already done all of the work.
All you must do is receive, in faith, the salvation God offers (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Fully trust in Jesus alone as the payment for your sins.
Believe in Him, and you will not perish (John 3:16).

God grants forgiveness and salvation to all those who place their faith in Jesus –
trusting His death as the payment for our sins (John 3:16; Romans 5:1; Romans 8:1).

Next--
Find a good church that teaches the Bible.
Don’t think of the church as a building. The church is the people. It is very
important that believers in Jesus Christ fellowship with one another.
That is one of the primary purposes of the church.

The second purpose of the church is to teach the Bible. You can learn how to apply
God’s instructions to your life. Understanding the Bible is key to living a
successful and powerful Christian life.

The third purpose of the church is worship.
Revelation 4:11 declares, “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”

Set aside time each day to focus on God to: Read the bible, pray and meditate on what
you have read in the bible.

Develop relationships with people who can help you spiritually.
1 Corinthians 15:33 tells us, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’”
The Bible is full of warnings about the influence “bad” people can have on us.
Spending too much time with those who engage in sinful activities will cause us to be tempted by those activities. The character of those we are around will “rub off” on us.
That is why it is so important to surround ourselves with other people who love the
Lord and are committed to Him.

Be baptized.
Many people have a misunderstanding of baptism.
The word “baptize” means to immerse in water.
Baptism is the Biblical way of publicly proclaiming your new faith in Christ and your commitment to follow Him. The action of being immersed in the water illustrates being buried with Christ. The action of coming out of the water pictures Christ’s resurrection.
Being baptized is identifying yourself with Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection (Romans 6:3-4).

Reading the Bible--
May I suggest this Bible reading plan?
For either: new Christian, struggling Christian, Seeker etc...

The Old Testament "foreshadows" Jesus Christ and the New Testament is sharply focused on Jesus Christ, it makes pretty good sense to start reading the Bible with any of the four gospels....
The Gospel of John
The Gospel of Mark
I John
II John
III John
Genesis
Ephesians
Galatians
The Gospel of Luke
The Gospel of Matthew
I Corinthians
II Corinthians
Romans
Psalms
Proverbs
--Then you can select to read other books in the Bible.

 

[Sketcher]

Are you referring to when Peter denied Christ or another time?

Yes, I'm referring to Peter's denials and Christ calling him back.

 

[seeingeyes]

I'm terrified of Jesus coming back before I get all this worked out and being judged and also just of the idea of God in general (not just because of His wrath but also because the idea of something that big just scares me). I went through a period of crying out to God and wanting to follow Him and very tentatively thinking I might be saved, but one day it was like He just withdrew, and I lost all of that. I'm not sure I ever actually was saved during that time because I was focused more on just believing God existed and the events in the Bible happened than on Jesus, and I think my repentance may have some from fear. Now I'm scared but also apathetic (an odd combination), and I don't really know where to go from here. I came across this verse today:

Perhaps your fear has worn you out and the apathy is a response to that. Perfect love chases out all fear (and certainly apathy as well!)

What do you think about Jesus?

 

[thatforumguy77]

Hebrews 10:26-27 (NIV): "If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God."

You're reading it wrong.
Whenever reading something from the bible, don't just read the content, but the context. And the Epistle to the Hebrews is not a book of condemnation, but that of encouragement. As evidence, read the immediate context - meaning, READ the ENTIRETY of HEBREWS 10. It's about salvation and God forgetting our sins! The first, a letter of hope, the latter a letter of warning. This is because it was written to encourage the Hebrews to stay true to the Gospel, and not fall back to Judaism. Read the prior and latter passages that surround your key text and you'll understand where the author is coming from. He's condemning the work of the Judaizers, not condemning you.

Now, I admit that I wrestled with this WAAAY back then, and it almost caused me to fall, because I too had moments where certain sins seemed impossible to get rid of. But trust in God that he will deliver - for he will do this in His own time, and for His great glory. You cannot do anything that pleases God outside of faith - So Have Faith in HIM! The Bible is not only a set of proscriptive and prescriptive components, of what we should or should not do... but the Bible and the Scriptures in it is a REVELATION of who GOD is!

• So know GOD and trust HIM.
• Who is GOD? What do you know of Him?
• How did you get saved before? What did you learn of Him that made you want to follow Him?

Always stay rooted in these questions when reading a passage. Because it is a personal revelation for His People. It's like in each passage, God is saying, "here's an entry in my diary... you'll know more about me when you read it."

And yet, we read the Bible in the wrong way and say... "Oh, let's see what God is saying I should do. Oh let me see what God is saying I am." That strikes me as a self-centered reading on the Bible. In the previous illustration, its like reading an entry in the diary of my friend and suddenly saying - "Oh, I can relate to this entry... why I remember the time..."

And yet, that's not the reason why that diary was given to you in the first place. It was given to you because He wants you to KNOW about Him. Eternal Life is KNOWING GOD. The Bible is there because we MUST KNOW GOD.

Why do i say this, it's because the Bible is a unified whole - and the metanarrative of it is this: That GOD SAVES. It's a salvation story. God is a God who saves. Trust in that nature of God, that He will save all who earnestly seek Him.

Now, regarding the sinfulness aspect, there is such a thing as SANCTIFICATION. We are given a new nature when we follow Christ, but we must work out that new nature by slowly shedding our old ways and replacing them with new ones. It is a process. God led Israel in a process before having them enter the promised land. There may be trials ahead, but if you are held in God's hand, you will prevail in these and you will be saved. Don't save yourself, Don't look to your own weakness, or your own strategies to save yourself from sin - Instead, Trust in God that He will save you.

So be well. Just because you have yet to be delivered from that sin does not mean that you will forever be barred from his Grace. It means only the opposite. That since we are yet sinners, God may love us, His grace abounding.

 

[LoricaLady]

Fear of the Almighty is not a bad thing but a good thing. "The fear of YHWH is the beginning of wisdom." But of course it has to be paired with love, all has to be about love. "Without love it profits you nothing."

You don't seem like a lost case as you are still trying to seek the truth. Mho it seems you are in bondage to some sins and this is scaring you and making you feel hopeless. We all get into bondage of different kinds and every time the only One Who can free us is Messiah. "Without Me you can do nothing....The battle is" His.

I would suggest a 24 hour water fast plus prayer once a week, if your health permits. "This type comes out only by prayer and fasting." If health does not permit, maybe something less strenuous. Fasting "muscles" need to be built up so if you don't succeed, try try again. Never overdo fasting as it is taxing on the adrenals. Yeal Moses and Messiah fasted 40 d & d, but we ain't them!

Praying for you to get freed and walk with Messiah all your life.

 

[Quasicentennial]

Like the multiplication supernatural quantities of fish and bread from a single basket, our faith in Jesus is also multiplied to such abundance, we Christians can see that the Word of God must be fact, or rather, the future-coming evidence of Christ's Second Coming, and only then will our faith become extremely powerful, as Faith becomes Fact when seeing Jesus for the first time, along with the most advanced free-for-all home accommodation city: the kingdom of God where nobody will be homeless, or dependent on welfare to pay rent or mortgage, or even working in a job to make ends meet:.
If you are have a generous heart by helping an individual in devastating circumstances such as homelessness, or an illegal immigrant escaping from another country with a corrupt government, I believe Jesus will wipe away your sins as "positive quality" can overcome "negative quantity" .;'*';.
Rev 21:2

 

[nigheandonn]

Hebrews 10: 26-27--
Judas Iscariot is a perfect example of what the verse says—Judas had knowledge
but he lacked true faith.
No other rejector of the truth had more or better exposure to the love and
grace of God than Judas.
He was part of Jesus’ inner circle of disciples, eating, sleeping, and traveling with
Him for years. He saw the miracles and heard the words of God from Jesus’ very lips,
from the best preacher the world has ever known, and yet he not only turned away
but was instrumental in the plot to kill Jesus.

Judas having turned his back on the truth, and with full knowledge choosing to
willfully and continually sin, the apostate is then beyond salvation because he
has rejected the one true sacrifice for sins: the Lord Jesus Christ.
If Christ’s sacrifice is rejected, then all hope of salvation is gone.

So if I intellectually know it's true and am just struggling to figure out how all this works, there's still hope...? I'm not going to lie, I've had thoughts about whether it's worth it, and I've had to give myself breaks sometimes because it's emotionally too much to handle this all the time.

What I'm getting from your post is fear, confusion etc.... do you suffer with scrupulosity?

Wow, how did you know that? Yes, I do, along with other kinds of OCD.

I've shared this with several others on here and I will share
it with you.

Seeking the Lord for salvation?

*Jesus said:
"Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like
a little child will never enter it." [Mark 10:15]
The simplicity of the little child is the model and the rule for every one who desires,
by the grace of Christ, to obtain the kingdom of heaven... meaning: "As a little child"
with humility and meekness.

No to do list... just a person realizing they are a sinner in need of the gift of salvation
paid for by the Redeemer, Christ the Lord.

We are all infected with sin (Romans 3:23).
Sin is what separates us from God.

Jesus’ death on the cross was the perfect and complete payment for our sin
(1 John 2:2).

Jesus died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins (Romans 5:8; 2 Corinthians 5:21). Jesus died in our place, taking the punishment that we deserved.
His resurrection proved that Jesus’ death was sufficient to pay for our sins.

What do I need to do to be saved?
“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31).
God has already done all of the work.
All you must do is receive, in faith, the salvation God offers (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Fully trust in Jesus alone as the payment for your sins.
Believe in Him, and you will not perish (John 3:16).

God grants forgiveness and salvation to all those who place their faith in Jesus –
trusting His death as the payment for our sins (John 3:16; Romans 5:1; Romans 8:1).

What on earth do I do if it just doesn't seem to sink in? I also have problems with trust... and I'm worried I'll somehow get it wrong and will think I'm saved and feel safe and later find out I'm not. I also don't think I've ever truly repented.

Next--
Find a good church that teaches the Bible.
Don’t think of the church as a building. The church is the people. It is very
important that believers in Jesus Christ fellowship with one another.
That is one of the primary purposes of the church.

The second purpose of the church is to teach the Bible. You can learn how to apply
God’s instructions to your life. Understanding the Bible is key to living a
successful and powerful Christian life.

The third purpose of the church is worship.
Revelation 4:11 declares, “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”

Got this part, at least. Although I'll have to go off to school in a month or so, and then the church-finding process starts all over again.

Set aside time each day to focus on God to: Read the bible, pray and meditate on what you have read in the bible.

This is something I definitely neglect. I get frustrated and scared when reading the Bible, so that's why... I managed Psalms for a while. It also sounds terrible, but a lot of the New Testament seems a little boring (I know, that's bad) to me because I grew up in a Christian environment and have heard it so many times.

Develop relationships with people who can help you spiritually.
1 Corinthians 15:33 tells us, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’”
The Bible is full of warnings about the influence “bad” people can have on us.
Spending too much time with those who engage in sinful activities will cause us to be tempted by those activities. The character of those we are around will “rub off” on us.
That is why it is so important to surround ourselves with other people who love the
Lord and are committed to Him.

I have no idea how to find these people, and I'm super slow at making friends/getting to know people. :\ Any suggestions?

Be baptized.
Many people have a misunderstanding of baptism.
The word “baptize” means to immerse in water.
Baptism is the Biblical way of publicly proclaiming your new faith in Christ and your commitment to follow Him. The action of being immersed in the water illustrates being buried with Christ. The action of coming out of the water pictures Christ’s resurrection.
Being baptized is identifying yourself with Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection (Romans 6:3-4).

Reading the Bible--
May I suggest this Bible reading plan?
For either: new Christian, struggling Christian, Seeker etc...

The Old Testament "foreshadows" Jesus Christ and the New Testament is sharply focused on Jesus Christ, it makes pretty good sense to start reading the Bible with any of the four gospels....
The Gospel of John
The Gospel of Mark
I John
II John
III John
Genesis
Ephesians
Galatians
The Gospel of Luke
The Gospel of Matthew
I Corinthians
II Corinthians
Romans
Psalms
Proverbs
--Then you can select to read other books in the Bible.

Like I said above, I get kind of bored reading the Gospels. I do like Psalms and Proverbs and the Epistles, but it's a little difficult to claim to want to be a Christian but not feel like reading the Gospels... I've sometimes heard people suggest reading The Message if you're really familiar with the material, but I'm not a fan of that translation.

Perhaps your fear has worn you out and the apathy is a response to that. Perfect love chases out all fear (and certainly apathy as well!)

What do you think about Jesus?

That's extremely likely.

Not sure what you're looking for here. Intellectually, I have no reason to doubt Him. Actually, though, believing that Jesus Himself really exists and that God is really the God of the Bible is extremely hard for me, almost like I have to force it. I'm overly analytical, and that just does not work in this situation.

You're reading it wrong.
Whenever reading something from the bible, don't just read the content, but the context. And the Epistle to the Hebrews is not a book of condemnation, but that of encouragement. As evidence, read the immediate context - meaning, READ the ENTIRETY of HEBREWS 10. It's about salvation and God forgetting our sins! The first, a letter of hope, the latter a letter of warning. This is because it was written to encourage the Hebrews to stay true to the Gospel, and not fall back to Judaism. Read the prior and latter passages that surround your key text and you'll understand where the author is coming from. He's condemning the work of the Judaizers, not condemning you.

Huh. That makes sense. Funny, another passage I was concerned about a while back was met with the same response from someone else.

Now, I admit that I wrestled with this WAAAY back then, and it almost caused me to fall, because I too had moments where certain sins seemed impossible to get rid of. But trust in God that he will deliver - for he will do this in His own time, and for His great glory. You cannot do anything that pleases God outside of faith - So Have Faith in HIM! The Bible is not only a set of proscriptive and prescriptive components, of what we should or should not do... but the Bible and the Scriptures in it is a REVELATION of who GOD is!

• So know GOD and trust HIM.
• Who is GOD? What do you know of Him?
• How did you get saved before? What did you learn of Him that made you want to follow Him?

Always stay rooted in these questions when reading a passage. Because it is a personal revelation for His People. It's like in each passage, God is saying, "here's an entry in my diary... you'll know more about me when you read it."

And yet, we read the Bible in the wrong way and say... "Oh, let's see what God is saying I should do. Oh let me see what God is saying I am." That strikes me as a self-centered reading on the Bible. In the previous illustration, its like reading an entry in the diary of my friend and suddenly saying - "Oh, I can relate to this entry... why I remember the time..."

And yet, that's not the reason why that diary was given to you in the first place. It was given to you because He wants you to KNOW about Him. Eternal Life is KNOWING GOD. The Bible is there because we MUST KNOW GOD.

Why do i say this, it's because the Bible is a unified whole - and the metanarrative of it is this: That GOD SAVES. It's a salvation story. God is a God who saves. Trust in that nature of God, that He will save all who earnestly seek Him.

Now, regarding the sinfulness aspect, there is such a thing as SANCTIFICATION. We are given a new nature when we follow Christ, but we must work out that new nature by slowly shedding our old ways and replacing them with new ones. It is a process. God led Israel in a process before having them enter the promised land. There may be trials ahead, but if you are held in God's hand, you will prevail in these and you will be saved. Don't save yourself, Don't look to your own weakness, or your own strategies to save yourself from sin - Instead, Trust in God that He will save you.

So be well. Just because you have yet to be delivered from that sin does not mean that you will forever be barred from his Grace. It means only the opposite. That since we are yet sinners, God may love us, His grace abounding.

Thank you for writing all this out. How do I just trust God to save me, especially when my sinfulness doesn't seem to be as apparent to me as it should? Is there anything I can do about that?

Fear of the Almighty is not a bad thing but a good thing. "The fear of YHWH is the beginning of wisdom." But of course it has to be paired with love, all has to be about love. "Without love it profits you nothing."

You don't seem like a lost case as you are still trying to seek the truth. Mho it seems you are in bondage to some sins and this is scaring you and making you feel hopeless. We all get into bondage of different kinds and every time the only One Who can free us is Messiah. "Without Me you can do nothing....The battle is" His.

I would suggest a 24 hour water fast plus prayer once a week, if your health permits. "This type comes out only by prayer and fasting." If health does not permit, maybe something less strenuous. Fasting "muscles" need to be built up so if you don't succeed, try try again. Never overdo fasting as it is taxing on the adrenals. Yeal Moses and Messiah fasted 40 d & d, but we ain't them!

Praying for you to get freed and walk with Messiah all your life.

Odd that you mention that because I've been drawn to the idea of fasting for a couple months now. Unfortunately, I'm not in the best health (specifically adrenal issues), and I am also fighting an eating disorder, so fasting might not be good to do right now, although I'd like to. Is there anything else I could do? Thank you so much for your prayers.

 

[nigheandonn]

Like the multiplication supernatural quantities of fish and bread from a single basket, our faith in Jesus is also multiplied to such abundance, we Christians can see that the Word of God must be fact, or rather, the future-coming evidence of Christ's Second Coming, and only then will our faith become extremely powerful, as Faith becomes Fact when seeing Jesus for the first time, along with the most advanced free-for-all home accommodation city: the kingdom of God where nobody will be homeless, or dependent on welfare to pay rent or mortgage, or even working in a job to make ends meet:.
If you are have a generous heart by helping an individual in devastating circumstances such as homelessness, or an illegal immigrant escaping from another country with a corrupt government, I believe Jesus will wipe away your sins as "positive quality" can overcome "negative quantity" .;'*';.
Rev 21:2

Sorry, don't think I'm quite understanding you! Are you saying Jesus will forgive because of your positive qualities?

 

[Goodbook]

You have taken the first step, to love the Lord with all your mind..that's good, but..the commandment doesn't stop there. What you need to do next is love the Lord with all your heart.

How to do this? Yield your sinful heart to Him and ask Jesus for a fresh clean one.

After you've done this it will get much easier. He will then teach you the rest..to Love Him with all your soul and all your strength. There is hope for you because the Holy Spirit enters and pours into our hearts. You have not received him yet. ASk and you shall receive.

 

[Gottservant]

My spiritual journey thus far is a very long story, and I'll spare you all the novel (it can be found in my post history if anyone is interested), but I have a question about this verse. I know intellectually that the Bible is true, but I am having a horrifically hard time accepting that is is really true right now, believing rather than just knowing, feeling a need to repent/feeling sorry for my sins, etc. I'm terrified of Jesus coming back before I get all this worked out and being judged and also just of the idea of God in general (not just because of His wrath but also because the idea of something that big just scares me). I went through a period of crying out to God and wanting to follow Him and very tentatively thinking I might be saved, but one day it was like He just withdrew, and I lost all of that. I'm not sure I ever actually was saved during that time because I was focused more on just believing God existed and the events in the Bible happened than on Jesus, and I think my repentance may have some from fear. Now I'm scared but also apathetic (an odd combination), and I don't really know where to go from here. I came across this verse today:

Hebrews 10:26-27 (NIV): "If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God."

Is there no hope left for me because I know intellectually it's true and for some reason can't get myself to comprehend it/truly repent? What is even wrong with me? Sometimes I feel like that guy who asked what he needed to do to have eternal life and went away sadly because of Jesus saying he had to give up everything... something is just not clicking. If I can't be saved, please be honest with me. I want to know the truth.

Some people can't be saved, that's true, but the people that can't can't focus on the positive at all, and that doesn't sound like you.

maybe do some things that have nothing to do with thinking at all (I think that was one of the points of speaking in tongues actually) and then work out whether your thinking is actually helping or just more of that (whatever it is you do)

the point is that if you are saved, you will sin less, do right and believe God.

if you don't want these things then that is your answer.

 

[Gottservant]

Mystery crucifies a man, even when for all he knows all it is is just a mystery (selah)

 

[thatforumguy77]

Thank you for writing all this out. How do I just trust God to save me, especially when my sinfulness doesn't seem to be as apparent to me as it should? Is there anything I can do about that?

Trust comes naturally from a relationship. It comes from knowing the other. This is the basis of most relationships that we know of, and the thing is, we know God a lot less than God knows us. And the thing is, God knows us more than we even know ourselves!

What I can say is simply this - God doesn't want us to enumerate our sins and accurately identify them one by one. This is because, if we do this, we remember our sins, we become rooted to it - when God wants to do the opposite, for us to be free of Sin. What God simply wants us to do is repent, and turn from our sinful nature. From your post, I see that you have already begun doing that - so you're in the right path.

Here's a puzzle. We can't know our own sinful nature, for our fleshly nature would only see it as a natural law that is thrust upon us. And yet, the Bible calls us to be spiritual, not fleshly, and yet we are made of flesh, so how do we reach spirituality? We simply don't. Paul reveals this struggle in the Book of Romans. Salvation comes only from Christ. We are powerless to save ourselves.

As such, if you want to be aware of your own sinful nature, dwell on God's holiness. You'll realize how small we really are in the view of the cosmic size of things. If you view God, you will, in humility, learn of your own limitation as a man. I myself have stayed pure all my life, I followed the law, I went to church, my sins are small and negligible - and yet, I realized I was being a Pharisee when I was exposed to how holy God truly is. And we see His Holiness if only we see His nature.

And what is God's nature? For me, the most eye-opening nature of God is this: That God is complete. He is self-sufficient. He does not need anything, anyone - for He in Himself is already complete and no one can add or subtract anything from His essence. From this starting point, look to the other things we know about God...

• God is a jealous God. Why? He is complete already, so why is he jealous? Because he cares for the people who wander away from Him. Because He knows they will come to harm in other places.
• God saves. Why? What does he get from saving us? Nothing - he is complete, even our devotion cannot add anything to Him.
• God loves. Why? What will he get from our love for Him? And here's the sinker - He won't get anything from YOU. But WE get EVERYTHING from Him!

If we look at this nature of God, we see Him as a completely selfless God, who is so Holy as we cannot even compare to Him, for we always seek to gain something. We seek God because we first seek salvation. We seek God because we seek His presence. We seek God because we seek to be saved from our pain.


But God isn't like that God seeks us because simply... he wants you to be well. To have life in abundance. And that abundance can only be found in Him. Everything else is a vain pursuit.

So, I suggest, start with prayer. Prayer is communication. All relationships start there, and I feel you already do this - but communication also works both ways. Talking and Listening. Try praying the prayer of Listening for once, just stop talking and allow God to talk to you and reveal His words to you. And even if He doesn't talk, just enjoy His presence, for that in itself is a revelation of who He is.

God bless!