I am so discouraged. How can my husband be so blessed and talented and yes, anointed yet at home for years he calls me dumb stupid etc...
He says I am not trying hard enough, not using my head.
He says not to go against God's anointing.
Today I failed Jesus. I got super angry and swore.
I am tired of being called stupid, dumb idiot., he says I never amounted to anything and that I have nothing to show for all my years. That I do nothing.
He keeps saying people at church think I am dumb too.
He texted me a month ago the following - - "That is my lot, spending my life with someone who doesn't get things. My fault for picking you.
I will NEVER be responsible for your lack of education, wisdom and excellence. Those mediocre attributes are yours and yours alone."
He told me that there are 5 types of people and the kind of person i am, he has to use the rod of discipline to beat the stupidity out of me.
I was super angry today because I have been having back pain and there he goes saying that I need to clean the floor by bending over and picking up any pieces, but bending over is difficult right now. And he's called me dumb, idiot. He wanted a particular kind of meat at a restaurant and I thought it was ok the one I bought but it turned out to be the wrong one. He called me names because of that saying I should have known. This is the second time I picked up from there.
He got a little rough by putting his hand underneath my chin hard and then downstairs too when he pushed me but he says he was just pushing me out of the way.
I told him to keep his "beeping" hands to himself. Not my greatest moment, I sinned bad.
I told him I don't want him to call me names anymore but he said he won't call me names if I don't do anything stupid. I toldhhim calling me names is not normal.
Sunday I realised that he doesn't call me names at church because he knows no one would agree with it so instead he calls me by endearments instead.
He says I am demon possessed, angel of light coming against the man of God. He has said I was not saved. He said today if I left him I probably would go for a woman - which is so very much not true.
I used to spend so much time with the Lord every day when I was single but now it's so hard. I tried praying tonight but I didn't feel much. So then I tried worshipping and it just wasn't the same.
Could the Lord be angry with me?
I am not happy at all. I thought marrying him was the Lord's Will. But from the beginning he was impatient with me and after 4 months the name calling began.
He even said he should not have married me.
To be fair, I was not the neatest or most organized person and he's super neat, but I have worked hard and he even said a few days ago that I have improved.
It's not always this bad. Just a few days ago he said I have improved and he appreciated the things that I take care of at home that he doesn't have to worry about. He sometimes says things like he's proud of me or proud that I am his wife. And during those times it's great as long as I don't mess it up, by dropping something by accident or saying something I know he won't like
But when I mess up its the names again, dumb stupid or idiot.
He says it's normal that married couples fight.
I did call him a fake Christian that thinks because of all the work he does for the Lord, that he is ok.
He even said something like, not exact words, but something along the lines of since what he does at church goes so well, the Lord must be pleased with him
Can the Lord be angry with me or not pleased because I don't keep my mouth shut all the time? I do ignore many things, even cutting remarks at times, but sometimes I just can't take it and respond back in anger.
Before being saved I dated men, one for a long time and he never called me names. I get married to a Christian and I am called names,put down, pushed around .... What's going on???
How can my husband be so blessed and talented and yes, anointed yet at home for years he calls me dumb stupid etc...
Are you sure he is 'blessed' and 'anointed'? Based on what?
I'm always confused by people who say that so and so "is a great Christian, so and indwelt with the holy spirit", and then go on to list a dozen terrible things they do.
If he is doing what you claim he is doing, then he is not the good Christian man you claim he is.
He says it's normal that married couples fight.
It is normal for married couples to fight. Happy married couples statistically have the same number of arguments as unhappy couples that end in divorce.
However, how couples fight is crucial. If you say things that damage, and cause harm, then you are not fighting well. A good fight, is where you hash out a disagreement without causing harm. Happily married couples never cause harm, and forgive each other, and do not hold onto the mistakes of the other.
You and your husband, are clearly not doing that. You are on your way to divorce unless both of you figure this out.
I am tired of being called stupid, dumb idiot., he says I never amounted to anything and that I have nothing to show for all my years. That I do nothing.
He keeps saying people at church think I am dumb too.
So let me ask you... what were the consequence?
He called you stupid.... what punishment did you enact for that?
When a dog poops on the carpet, you smack it. Eventually the dog learns to not poop on the carpet.
When a child lies, they used to wash their mouth with soap, and then they learn to not lie.
When I grew up, I was paddled. I learn to not do evil things.
When your husband does something evil like this, what did you do?
You talked at him. That's nothing. Don't yack at your husband. What did punishment did you enforce for his evil?
Example: My mother would have been in the car, and 2 hours drive away, by the end of the day, if my father did that to her. Which is why he never did.
I told him I don't want him to call me names anymore but he said he won't call me names if I don't do anything stupid. I told him calling me names is not normal.
That is nothing. You wasted your time. You don't talk at someone. If that worked anywhere in life, we would just have judges talk at criminals, and they would stop being criminals. If all the police did when they caught you speeding, was give you a speech about how speeding isn't health or safe... everyone would speed.
The reason people do not fly down the road at 120 mph, is because they get a $300 ticket. It's not words, but actions that change behavior. In fact the officer typically says very little, other than his standard questions, and sign here. He does not yack at you. He just writes the citation, and sends you on your way.
Your husband is acting evil, and he is acting evil because he thinks what he is doing is okay. One of the reasons he thinks it is ok, is because there are no real consequences.
Next time he calls you names, don't say a word. When he's out, pack up, and move to your parents.
When he calls, you say "I told you don't call me names anymore. l from now on, when you call me names, I'll leave".
And by the way, he'll do it again, and you need to leave again. You keep doing this enough times, and even a dog can learn to not poop on the carpet.
But you have to be consistent. Every time he acts evil, you have to enact consequences each time.
