• Welcome to Christian Forums
  1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

  2. The forums in the Christian Congregations category are now open only to Christian members. Please review our current Faith Groups list for information on which faith groups are considered to be Christian faiths. Christian members please remember to read the Statement of Purpose threads for each forum within Christian Congregations before posting in the forum.

Featured Help, so discouraged

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Itsahappyday, Jun 4, 2019.

  1. Lords Man

    Lords Man Active Member

    164
    +98
    United States
    Baptist
    Private
    Go to your pastor. If he is not helpful, find one who is! I'm sorry but your husband is not demonstrating a true Christian spirit. Perhaps he is not even a Christian. He might even take his violence toward you to higher levels. If that happens call the police and have him arrested.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  2. Michael Collum

    Michael Collum Everything began with a voice, use yours Supporter

    +3,484
    Canada
    Christian Seeker
    Married
    God is not angry with you. What you are describing sounds demonic in nature, you do not need to put up with it.

    I would recommend to ask your friends and family if there is somewhere you can stay - away from him and his abusive behavior.

    Jesus did teach to turn the other cheek, but He did not teach to be a doormat as a truck runs you over. Healthy boundaries are okay, it might be just what you need.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  3. PoppyB

    PoppyB Active Member

    240
    +194
    United Kingdom
    Christian
    Married
    He does not love you as he knows he should, as Christ loves the church. Especially being 'anointed' as you say. I would say his anointing is all in his mi nd and would advise you not to be a doormat and stand up to him. You are an equal in Christ but lots of men, including your husband it would seem, use the scriptures to lord it over their wives and other women.
     
  4. SteveIndy

    SteveIndy IndyWatchman.com Supporter

    360
    +136
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    US-Others

    Your husbands words to you are part of the cross we are to bare. Everyone has a cross, this is yours. Do not listen to those who advocate for psychological counseling, Christian or other wise, it is not Biblical. Seek to please Jesus. There is no magic bullet cure; please your true Husband, obey the words of Jesus in Matthew 5-7 the Sermon on the Mount, and seek fellowship with other Christians who will encourage you to continue to obey. Separate yourself from those who would tell you to divorce your husband. If you should decide to leave your husband you must first consider that you will not be permitted to remarry. Fill your mind with the word of God in the New Testament and avoid worldly pleasures, do not watch the T.V., it is the most corrupt and worthless piece of technology ever created and has enslaved nearly the whole world. Don't believe that everyone who darkens the doorway of a Church building is a Christian; as a matter of fact the vast majority of them are not following Jesus at all. Jesus told us that following Him would be difficult and that it produce persecution in His followers lives. Learn His commands and you will discover what I am talking about.
     
  5. Dave L

    Dave L Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,937
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I know a pastor who hated and was verbally abusive to his wife. She was "his cross to bear". He wanted to drive her away thinking she would divorce him and remarry, committing adultery so he could exploit the "except clause" in Matthew 19:9 and then remarry. This happened as planned, but he still committed adultery when he remarried according tho the second half of Matthew 19:9.
     
  6. StillGods

    StillGods Well-Known Member

    628
    +836
    New Zealand
    Christian
    Private
    show the pastor the text he sent you.
     
  7. Servant of Yeshua

    Servant of Yeshua Love UR Enemies, Pray 4 those who persecute U

    114
    +63
    United States
    Baptist
    Married
    I wanted to reply to your first message, but wanted to read what others have said. Him telling you that he had dreams from the Lord sounded like he was telling you a bold faced lie, but.... only your husband and God know for certain. But, if I were to believe that he was given a dream from the Lord to warn him about you, then I would wonder why in the world he would disobey the God of all creation? Was this dream before or after he married you?? Because certainly God would never tell a man not to fulfil his marriage vow.
    I do not care how clumsy you are, I do not care how unmotivated you are....he is supposed to be cherishing you completely. Being successful is living and loving like Jesus. We will take our entire life trying to get closer to that goal meanwhile loving others. He is further away from being like Jesus because he has put his wife down so much that you are feeling worthless. His job as a Christian husband is the OPPOSITE. He is suppose to make you feel like you are worth more than any other person on this earth.
    I am scared to ask if you have children or even a dog. I am thinking that you would have mentioned it. Because he sounds like someone who would be a verbally abusive father or dog owner. Kids and dogs make a lot of mistakes and are very messy. I used to think I was a patient person... then my kids and dog taught me that I have a LONG way to go.

    One last thought is to ask for forgiveness when you speak disrespectfully. But...remind him who his FATHER in law is....because YOU are the king's daughter. Where are his fruits of the Spirit?
    Maybe he should read 1 Corinthians 13 about how it doesn't matter what you do, if you do not have love... you have nothing.
    I am puzzled how a man who has the Holy Spirit in him would speak to his beloved wife in this way repeatedly without having the Holy Spirit deeply convict him and bring him to his knees to beg for forgiveness when the heat of the moment has passed. I know we all sin...but when you have the Holy Spirit he convicts you and brings you to repentance. Go to this website below at www.gotquestions.org, it has answers to many questions and perhaps at the right time share the site with him. What does the Bible say about emotional abuse?

    Peace to you. Prayers that your marriage will become the picture of Christ and the church, like it is meant to be, and that you both grow closer to the Lord in this process. There may be a lot more to your story and you need to pray to the Lord and confess all of your sins so that you can be blameless and pure before the Lord. We cannot control what others do and we cannot make them love the Lord and obey what he says about how men are to treat their wives... but you have the very powerful act of prayer. Pray that you will be able to get everything out in the open so that this awful mess can be cleaned and healed.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2019
  8. section9+1

    section9+1 Well-Known Member

    +705
    Christian
    Married
    You and him need to talk a lot about the future of your marriage. Marriages have issues and sometimes some temporary conflict can happen, but if two people that are supposed to be the closest of all to each other are in a perpetual state of stress and hurt, then someone is not fulfilling his role. To heck with the church and all the anointing. A spouse is the number one ministry and the most important and dearest person in one's mortal life. If that cannot be attained, then the marriage has failed and the rest of the ministries are a scam.
     
  9. fhansen

    fhansen Oldbie

    +1,069
    Catholic
    Married
    Your husband really needs to read and ponder 1 Cor 13. Love, well described in that chapter, is the hallmark of the Christian and we're absolutely nothing without it, regardless of our self-assessed level of "faith". Love, not pride, which opposes God and neighbor and therefore Christianity. He needs to get on board; he needs to go beyond himself.
     
  10. notreligus

    notreligus Member Supporter

    473
    +98
    Non-Denom
    Your husband has problems. I was once a bit like your husband. I was expecting to find peace and happiness in my wife, but that's not found in people. I blamed my wife for not being content. Peace and contentment is found in Christ and a relationship with HIM! Your husband sounds like a religious man who has found religion but not a relationship with the Lord. He needs to turn away from religion and turn to the Lord. I hope that we'll all remember you in prayer and pray that the Lord will do a work in him and deal with him on your behalf.
     
  11. lsume

    lsume Active Member Supporter

    445
    +182
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Your marriage doesn’t sound like a whole lotta fun to me. You might want to step back and chillax for a short amount of time. I can’t tell you how many times I have failed to go in prayer to The Lord Jesus The Christ and ask for guidance and direction before acting. Perhaps if you grow in Christ, your husband might see a change and want the same thing for himself.
     
  12. archer75

    archer75 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,320
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Married
    Your husband's behavior is not consistent with Christian behavior. The Bible tells us that we are made in the image of God. The image of God is worthy of respect. Your husband is treating you like garbage and therefore is disrespecting God.

    You should talk to a counselor.
     
  13. Maria Billingsley

    Maria Billingsley Well-Known Member Supporter

    +812
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship
    I think it is time to involve your Pastor and seek couples counseling. The Lord see's everything and it is time for accountability which can only happen if your situation is out in the open.
    Blessings
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  14. proverbs3

    proverbs3 New Member

    70
    +18
    Philippines
    Christian
    Private
    first i do not know you maybe he sees you really do those things and since i do not know you it is hard to judge

    but i think i know how you feel

    marriage for me is just a man made rule since it is written we no longer can swear the only i can guarantee you that you can't divorce him is if you two already became one you know what i mean?(as long as his go in to your... you two are one) you are already bound to him and he to you he is yours and you are belong to him unless one of you dies

    i think i would suggest a cool off because if this treatment keeps on you would fall deeper and deeper into the pit then you would do worst things but after this i don't know the exact answer i always do it alone when i don't feel lile it i wouldn't pray because i am guilty of things but you are lucky you are trying to stay in christ so as long as you don't let go you wouldn't be in this place as i am

    so stay in christ no matter what happen
     
  15. Sparagmos

    Sparagmos Well-Known Member

    +1,956
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Your husband is abusing you and you need to get away from him. Did you post about this a few months ago? If so, clearly nothing has changed. This problem will not go away if you do nothing but post about it on an Internet forum, you must at least seek help from a counselor, someone you can talk to face to face.
     
  16. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

    380
    +319
    Australia
    Non-Denom
    Single
    [---SE---]

    @Itsahappyday ABUSE is not acceptable and if your husband abuses you and doesn't want to stop then SEPARATION is a must. You were created valuable, to allow for another being to devalue you is not right even if priests will reject separation. Humans don't tell you what to do, only God and you are responsible for your own well being. (and your parents if they are not abusive of course)

    You need to stay with yourself and see what the best decision could be, see if your decisions will impact anyone else as well, if so, try to take alternative pathways.

    You need to revolt and stand for yourself and your human rights! Staying silent is not a solution, accepting him as your fate is not a solution. He has 2 choices: Change his behaviour or suffer the consequences.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 5, 2019
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  17. Cis.jd

    Cis.jd Well-Known Member

    +733
    Catholic
    Single
    This is easier said than done but...

    I think you should just leave your husband and that horrible church.

    There will be conservative stucks up here who will plant bible verses on you to stay, but God gave you a brain and an actual life as a gift as well and since you are being treated like garbage that alone qualifies for you to "cut your arm off and throw it in the fire (Matt 5:30).

    Marriage isn't just a male and female who attended a ceremony and got tied together by some priest/pastor, it is an ongoing relationship in life and from what you've detailed about your husband is that he has internally "divorced" you a long time ago. He has already breached his marriage contract with God.

    What husband would treat the woman God gave him to his care like that? Don't listen to any of the narrow views from some of the fundamentalists here, and take care of yourself.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2019
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  18. Grip Docility

    Grip Docility Well-Known Member

    +1,617
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Didn’t read this all. You’re being emotionally abused.

    He does need to keep his beeping hands off you.

    If you’re not telling the whole story, like things you may have done or said of the same nature, it would be good to do so.

    If you are telling it as it is... you are in a miserable situation and being taken for granted. Do Not speak to other men about this... as that would set up for something bad. Do speak with someone if the physical abuse continues. There are shelters for abused women that aid in getting a new start on life.

    You both need counseling. If his abuse continues, you will lose your ever loving mind.

    All blessings in Jesus Christ to you.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2019
  19. bmjackson

    bmjackson Newbie

    390
    +105
    Christian
    Single
    I told her to do her own research on NPD where she will read the same as I said. Are you trained in psychology or have been married to a narcisisst? If not it is you who are stepping outside of your own experience.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  20. bmjackson

    bmjackson Newbie

    390
    +105
    Christian
    Single
    And to those who are saying stay the same applies however with much more at risk. Woman in these circumstances are killed and it happens all of the time.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • List
Loading...