Help!!!! I am dying!!!

[TroubledTeenager]

I am dying, I feel it. Well not the physical one, the spiritual one.

I am a teenage guy struggling in my teenage years. I got to know God at 14, and had been growing steadily as a Christian. But at 16, I started to back slide. I “grew up”, or matured at that time. I started having waves and waves of sexual fantasies that wouldn’t go away. I understand that this should be normal, for teenagers to start being interested by the opposite sex, but I am different!! No I am not gay, well half gay, I guess. I find most of my sexual fantasies involve cross-dressing and BDSM. But I am still interested in girls of course. After cross-dressing and masturbating, I feel horrible. When I am in my bed ready to pray to God, these fantasies keep bothering me. I feel ashamed to pray to God. I seek forgiveness, but what’s the use, I am most probably going to do it again. Life became empty and boring. Help me out of this mess!! And oh, pray for me!!

 

[Paladin Dave]

Everyone struggles with habitual sins and dirty secrets. Please, don't beat yourself up so badly about this. A little guilt is ok; it gets us motivated to change. But feeling too ashamed to pray is of the Enemy. There is no sin too grave for God to forgive. Plain and simple. Remember Christ's answer to how many times we should forgive someone who wrongs us? He says "I tell you, not 7, but 70 TIMES 7!" God is extremely patient, and he loves to fix broken things and heal his children. Yes... habitual sins, especially of the sexual kind, are REALLY hard to beat. Just don't ever give up, and NEVER be afraid to turn to God. If we can't turn to him... really, who CAN we look to?

Remember the story of the prodigal son. When you come back, God will run out to meet you with open arms. He's always willing and ready to give it another go, and he's always working in us. It may not happen overnight... but these things CAN be overcome!

 

[The thinker]

I am dying, I feel it. Well not the physical one, the spiritual one.

I am a teenage guy struggling in my teenage years. I got to know God at 14, and had been growing steadily as a Christian. But at 16, I started to back slide. I “grew up”, or matured at that time. I started having waves and waves of sexual fantasies that wouldn’t go away. I understand that this should be normal, for teenagers to start being interested by the opposite sex, but I am different!! No I am not gay, well half gay, I guess. I find most of my sexual fantasies involve cross-dressing and BDSM. But I am still interested in girls of course. After cross-dressing and masturbating, I feel horrible. When I am in my bed ready to pray to God, these fantasies keep bothering me. I feel ashamed to pray to God. I seek forgiveness, but what’s the use, I am most probably going to do it again. Life became empty and boring. Help me out of this mess!! And oh, pray for me!!

The most common lie Satan uses is that we are "not worthy" or that we have sinned too much to be forgiven. But they are both utter rubbish.

You will not be judged for not being 'good enough' (in your own sight). God loves you for who you are. You weren't chosen to be a son through your deeds, but because your heart was willing, and ready to receive.
You righteousness was credited to you the day you received Him as King.

I have had exactly the same problem as you but was delivered during the summer.. I didn't accept that God had forgiven me, every time I sinned I thought I had to spend at least a few days praying to show that I was sincere so that God would forgive me. Which is completely wrong. As soon as you ask for forgiveness God forgets what you have done, just like that, and you need to forget it too. Otherwise you will get consumed with guilt.

Just focus on Him, wear a garment of praise and pray as much as you can. As soon as you fail by masturbating or whatever ask God for forgiveness, forget what just happened and pray for the strength to resist next time you are tempted.

It is usually a slow process but if you are determined you will succeed.

I'll be praying for yah!

-WWC

 

[bannaboat101]

I am dying, I feel it. Well not the physical one, the spiritual one.

I am a teenage guy struggling in my teenage years. I got to know God at 14, and had been growing steadily as a Christian. But at 16, I started to back slide. I “grew up”, or matured at that time. I started having waves and waves of sexual fantasies that wouldn’t go away. I understand that this should be normal, for teenagers to start being interested by the opposite sex, but I am different!! No I am not gay, well half gay, I guess. I find most of my sexual fantasies involve cross-dressing and BDSM. But I am still interested in girls of course. After cross-dressing and masturbating, I feel horrible. When I am in my bed ready to pray to God, these fantasies keep bothering me. I feel ashamed to pray to God. I seek forgiveness, but what’s the use, I am most probably going to do it again. Life became empty and boring. Help me out of this mess!! And oh, pray for me!!

Man don't cut yourself down like that. Dude Gods mecry is so greater than anything you could possibly imaging. I for one dude know this I was in your tracks nearly six months ago I used to be gay I mean fully gay untill God smacked me upside the head of course (joking way) God turned my life around and he will do the same for you. Never ever ever think you aren't worthy enough to pray to God and ask him for forgiveness even those that don't believe him are still worthy to pray to him (atheist). Dude put your trust in the Lord and he will make your paths straight for you. God is a lamp unto your feet. I'm telling you even though you do come to him and pray and still fall in sin the next day don't think your not worthy pray anyways. Make in sincere and truthfull. God is a forgiven God he loves his sheep and you are one of those sheeps you will be brought back from astray.

 

[SteadyRock]

All I can say is go to God's Word and read it non-stop. Without that sorta thing life becomes more fulfilling and less guilt.

Masterbating and sexual sins are no worse than other sins yet they are sinning against yourself. This puts a block between you and God and will make you suffer from guilt big time.

Only God can get you out. Pray and read his Word is the only real way I think.

 

[The_Unknown]

Hey man.

Us on here could encourage you all we wanted to, but I think what can really change you is finding a youth pastor who has compassion and a heart for God. Let someone mentor you and help you get through this problem. It helped me

 

[Joshua Howard]

Jesus once said to the waves, peace -- be still. So must you, friend... so must you.

 

[Kamtre]

ok.. here's a bit of opinion.. If fantasies are just entering your head without you thinking, that's demons sending it into your head. I only had it happen once, but when it did I said into the darkness (i was in bed) In the name of Jesus, the supreme God, Creator and savior of man (and a few other names that popped into my mind) I command all demons to leave me alone. (some more calling on God's names) leave me and never come back. Try something to that effect.. What happened to me was that pictures of girls that I'd never seen before popped into my head, one after another, like 20/second. I knew that it wasn't me imagining it. Another thing is that porn is sometimes a cause of this. I know porn can be hard to get rid of, but if need be, get rid of your internet, reformat your hard drive, or get rid of your computer. I dunno.. there's my opinion, I'm praying for you..

 

[intricatic]

Moved from CFT/Guys.

 

[chloeobrien]

I will pray for you that things get easier for you, as for these thoughts do not be ashamed of them. As least you know you're human and not alien or something. Pray to God that the thoughs will go away or minimize to a point you can choose to ignore them. *HUGE HUGS*

 

[apologia25]

Brother,
The first thing I want you to know is that God totally loves you. I would say personally that being a teenager and trying to honor God is one of the most difficult things to do. You also need to know that what you are struggling with is not uncommon, guys your age are struggle with this all over the world(1 cor 10:13). When the woman caught in adultery came to Jesus how did he deal with her sin that the town thought was worthy of stoning. After dealing with those men he told her "Where are your accusers." she said they are no more. Jesus says neither do I condemn you. What you need to do is get up wipe the dust off from you fall and go and sin no more. Now from where I stand you may say but that is easy for you to say. Well I have struggled with many things and I have learned that even the hardest fall requires getting up and moving on to please God with your life as He strengthens you. Each time you fall get up and through His strength and not your own please Him. We are so blessed in Christ he asks us to live holy but knows we are not able in our own strength. So brother realize it is not the end of the world get up get out of your shame repent and move on in your relationship with God. please feel free to PM me I am willing to assist any way.

In Christ,

 

[11MAN]

Hi, I feel to write to you and tell you how the Lord Jesus saved me.
God created you and loves you so much that He sent Jesus for you. God is no respecter of persons. Homosexuality is a sin, as is stealing. Yes it is a sin. This is a good first step, that you acknowledge it as sin.
I struggled with homosexuality through my teenage years and early 20's, I was suicidal and hated myself, the world and life. I began a 2 month homosexual friendship, after it ended I wanted to die, I felt so alone. An athiest friend of mine looked at me one night and said "you are going to be punished." great fear came upon me and a hail and lightning storm came over my house, lightning hit my house and Jesus spoke and told me to repent, or he would destroy me.
I cried out and after 10 days of continual prayer (luke 11) temptations and satanic spirits speaking to me, I felt God's Holy Spirit come upon me and totally transform me.
I will ask you three questions that you don't have to answer to me, butplease be honest with yourself and God.
1) Do you have hatred, unforgiveness or resentment towards your father and/or mother?
2) Do you regularly watch television, computer games and or any other type of screen related entertainment?
3) Were you sexually abused, molested or raped as a child?
Why these 3 questions? The keys to understanding homsexuality and the solution are in the word of God. But there are factors we need to explore.
Satan's power is in accusing mankind to God, for our transgression of the Law. (The Accuser of the brethren)
Satan is a legalist and if we sin he has legal ground to torment us.
Honoring our parents in the Lord is the first commandment with promise (Ephesians 6:2)
If we curse our parents, our light will be put out in obscure darkness (Proverbs 20:20.)
My background in homosexuality, was a byproduct of earlier rebellion towards my parents, in cursing them and having hatred towards them, I allowed Satan, ground's for my downward spiral.
If you do have anger, hatred or have cursed your parents, take it to the Lord, humble youself in apologizing to your parents and bless them, speak life and blessing into the life of your parents. My parents are both divorced and my dad is remarried and is living in Adultery. I should never agree or condone sin, but I need to pray for him, bless him and interceed to God for his salvation and love him. "death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit" (Proverbs 18:21)There is power in the tongue!
Television is the most destructive modern form of Idolatry there is. Exodus 20:4 forbade Israel from making images depicting anything in heaven, earth, sea or underneath earth or sea. Image worship and worship of created things (mankind, the sun, the earth and nature etc.) Is the root by which homosexuality and other sexual perversions spawned. Please prayerfully read and study Romans 1:18-32.
God is a Spirit and desires to be worshipped in Spirit and in truth (John 4:24) When mankind makes idols and worships them, he is choosing to serve a false god. God is jealous for mankind's love and attention.
We are living, in what Paul prophesied of, as perilous times. Idolatry has consumed the whole world, with Satan's kingdom of Babylon (confusion) reaching its final pinnacle, before the Antichrist and the spirit of antichrist is destroyed by Jesus' return.
Many liberal christians would call this belief fundamental, some even accept homosexuality as a normal alternative lifestyle. I pray you will never let your mind or heart be decieved into believing this.
As a Born again Christian being plucked out of the fire of homosexual slavery, I have seen the power of Christ to transform and overcome, same-sex lust.The third question of sexual abuse, can be critical in being set free. If you have been sexually abused, you may be being tormented by a vile wicked spirit transferred through sex or molestation. Spirits transfer
through intercourse. You may need deliverance from them.
Sodom and Gommorah (Genesis 19) were completely corrupted by homosexuality. the whole town came out desiring to have sex with the two angel's sent by God.
Testimonies of straight men being raped in jail and then becoming gay is proof of the satanic power of homosexual corruption and evil spirits transferring through sex.
Some scriptures to encourage you with are Hebrews 4:15 (Jesus was tempted at all points, yes, Jesus was tempted with homosexuality and resisted the sin.)
1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Paul's letter to Corinthians comforted ex-homosexuals of their salvation and sanctification through repentance and faith in the Lord.
Jude verse 24 The promise that Christ is able to keep us from falling (see also 2 Peter 2:9 God knows how to deliver the godly from temptations)
I pray this has been helpful, to let you know that others have been through what you are going through, that you can overcome this if you seek Christ and believe with all of your heart.
May the Lord Jesus bless you and your family
J