Help convincing my girlfriend

[NewShinyCD]

I'm hoping that this is the right section of the forum to post this >_<

Anyway, basically I need help convincing my girlfriend to become Christian.
I myself have been raised Christian ever since I was three years old, so I already understand the Christian faith, but my girlfriend, who I have been dating for two and a half years, hasn't been raised as a Christian and doesn't understand anything about Christianity. In fact she has told me the only time she has really gone to church is for a wedding or if one of her friends asks her.

On the other hand, well, I kinda need help explaining her stuff about Christianity. This as always been a problem with me; I understand stuff that is put in front of me but I cannot explain that "stuff" to save my life xD

But lately it almost fells as if God as brought me in this situation to not only bring her to God but her friends as well.

My question is, how do I do this? She wants to become Christian from what she has told me, but has a lot of trouble because she doesn't really have any motivation.

 

[Sketcher]

First of all - you say you understand Christianity. But do you believe it for yourself?

As for her: Pray for her to really want to come to Christ. When you seek, you are thirsty for the truth. I also recommend doing daily devotions to keep you sharp, and praying for help in communicating the Word to her. Also, something key here is whether she is asking you questions or not; if so, what questions are they? There are many good books out there that have answers for different kinds of questions.

 

[NewShinyCD]

First of all - you say you understand Christianity. But do you believe it for yourself?

As for her: Pray for her to really want to come to Christ. When you seek, you are thirsty for the truth. I also recommend doing daily devotions to keep you sharp, and praying for help in communicating the Word to her. Also, something key here is whether she is asking you questions or not; if so, what questions are they? There are many good books out there that have answers for different kinds of questions.

I, myself, am a Christian, so I do believe in it

But the kind of things she asks are questions like, "How do I know with religion is right, what about the religions in Asia?" and things like that (can't remember some of the questions she asked right now though >.> )

 

[Sketcher]

I, myself, am a Christian, so I do believe in it

But the kind of things she asks are questions like, "How do I know with religion is right, what about the religions in Asia?" and things like that (can't remember some of the questions she asked right now though >.> )

The Eastern religions are completely different in substance from the Western religions. They are much less rational, and they deny absolute evil which I'm pretty sure she knows exists. People in America are only fascinated with them because they are different.

 

[Adstar]

I, myself, am a Christian, so I do believe in it

But the kind of things she asks are questions like, "How do I know with religion is right, what about the religions in Asia?" and things like that (can't remember some of the questions she asked right now though >.> )

Have you tried to just give her the Gospels? You could get her lets say a New King James Version bible and point her to Matthew chapter 1 and let her start to read it. Tell her to read the gospels right through and when she is finished to ask you questions.

You could always come in here and ask us for tips on how to answer the questions. Hey it would be a good idea to take note of her questions when she gives them. Tell her you have a few friends that you will sound out and you will get back to her.

Apart from that we can all ask God to move her conscience to the point where she can make an informed decision about God. In the end she has to make that decision.


All Praise The Ancient Of Days

 

[WashedClean]

There are lots of seeker books out there. Anything by Max Lucado would be a good start. Also The Message is a contemporary translation of the Bible. You can get just the Gospel of John in this version and it's only a couple of bucks. There is a forword by Max Lucado in the back that explains the Gospel in laymen's terms.

But first, I just want to warn you about your relationship with your gf. You are in an unequally yoked relationship, which God forbids in his word. I understand you are already 2+ years into your relationship and it would be difficult to end it. However, I encourage you to check out the Unequally Yoked subforum here at CF under Marriage Ministries. You will see that those of us married to unbelievers struggle. God doesn't want you to be drawn away from him and that's what can happen in these instances.

I know you weren't asking about this, but I felt compelled to say something.

God bless you!

Edited to add: I would also post this under Christian advice. This area is for all to respond and is really for non-believers. Maybe a Mod can move it.

 

[NewShinyCD]

Well she would have posted here but she can't get on her computer much, so I posted instead o__O

But, I think on of the reasons she is having trouble becoming a Christian is because of her friends. They don't go to church and they don't believe in God because of those stupid irrelevant questions that "dismiss God" (you know the ones like "How did Moses get all those animals on the boat?" or "If Cain killed Abel then how did three people repopulate the earth" etc etc)

I can tell that she wants to know more about Christianity but I just have trouble understanding. Not only that but she seem to be a little shy about it. I've told her that nobody at a church is going to bite off your head for admitting that you're a sinner and want to come to God, in fact they WANT you to do that.
What I have been thinking about lately is going to counseling I can be there for support and there is someone there to explain stuff for us.

 

[Arielles]

Well she would have posted here but she can't get on her computer much, so I posted instead o__O

But, I think on of the reasons she is having trouble becoming a Christian is because of her friends. They don't go to church and they don't believe in God because of those stupid irrelevant questions that "dismiss God" (you know the ones like "How did Moses get all those animals on the boat?" or "If Cain killed Abel then how did three people repopulate the earth" etc etc)

I can tell that she wants to know more about Christianity but I just have trouble understanding. Not only that but she seem to be a little shy about it. I've told her that nobody at a church is going to bite off your head for admitting that you're a sinner and want to come to God, in fact they WANT you to do that.
What I have been thinking about lately is going to counseling I can be there for support and there is someone there to explain stuff for us.

First of all, Moses didn't get any animals on a boat, that story belongs to Noah.

Secondly, you shouldn't push her into being a Christian, because it's very likely she will resent you for it one day because she didn't come to it on her own. I think you need to do a little more researching on why you are a Christian as well, and perhaps ask yourself the same questions she is asking you. These are fairly basic questions, and I believe that if someone is going to TRULY believe in something, they should know why they believe it instead of something else.

I don't think you can help your girlfriend become a Christian until you find these answers for yourself.

 

[MethodMan]

Hello

Welcome to the Christian Advice forum. After team review and consult with one of this forum's supervisors (thanks) we have move this thread here. It is the proper forum for this.

In Him
MM

 

[heron]

It's important that you stay honest with her, and keep from having a coercive approach. Admit there are things you don't know. Look things up together that you're not sure about.

Think discipleship rather than conversion -- be to her what you would be to her if she were a Christian. Act decently, care about others, make wise decisions. Offer to pray with her over things that come up in her life.

About the silly questions, some people just spout out the first thing that pops into their head. It's a reactive impulse, and not always what they wished they'd said. Try to find out what she's really thinking inside... not just what she heard others ask. That will be caring for her, vs. coming back with right answers (which is often construed as competition).

 

[ephraimanesti]

I'm hoping that this is the right section of the forum to post this >_<

Anyway, basically I need help convincing my girlfriend to become Christian.
I myself have been raised Christian ever since I was three years old, so I already understand the Christian faith, but my girlfriend, who I have been dating for two and a half years, hasn't been raised as a Christian and doesn't understand anything about Christianity. In fact she has told me the only time she has really gone to church is for a wedding or if one of her friends asks her.

On the other hand, well, I kinda need help explaining her stuff about Christianity. This as always been a problem with me; I understand stuff that is put in front of me but I cannot explain that "stuff" to save my life xD

But lately it almost fells as if God as brought me in this situation to not only bring her to God but her friends as well.

My question is, how do I do this? She wants to become Christian from what she has told me, but has a lot of trouble because she doesn't really have any motivation.

MY DEAR BROTHER,

Try gifting her with a copy of "THE CASE FOR FAITH" by Lee Strobel. The author once thought much along the same lines as your girlfriend, but upon investigating the facts he was converted. Might work the same for her!

A BOND-SLAVE OF CHRIST,
ephraim

 

[heron]

Bring her to an interesting meeting or concert... guest speaker... something that doesn't seem churchy.

 

[Cubemario]

All the 'silly' questions are easily answered if you read the bible. It wasn't moses or noah who brought all the animals on the ark, it was God who brought the animals on the ark to noah.

"If Cain killed Abel then how did three people repopulate the earth"

Easy answer if you read the bible. Adam and Eve had a lot of children, both male and female as the bible explains clearly.

I also recommend getting her to read The Message version of the bible. It's a great bible to start anyone out with.

There is boatloads of proof that the bible is real. Such resources as 'God's Plan for Man' by Finis Jennings Dake
The Bible itself.
http://www.creationevidence.org/

There's lots of other areas too. If you can get her to learn from any of those resources, she'll start changing her mind.

 

[fade2241]

This is a good thread, as I am struggling for the same thing.

A good question to ask would be what would you do if your g/f continues in her ways and doesn't convert? Hit me with ideas as I have struggled with this for 4yrs now and my hope is starting to fade.

 

[heron]

A good question to ask would be what would you do if your g/f continues in her ways and doesn't convert? Hit me with ideas as I have struggled with this for 4yrs now and my hope is starting to fade.

Four years -- that's a long time.
Remember that conversion is a very personal decision -- it goes to the core of who we are... it's what we think about life and purpose. We can't change that in a person, and any amount of pushing does not save someone. It just turns into a power play, a rejection-acceptance issue.

Imagine yourself twenty years from now with the same person. Will you have been able to live out your own faith without too much resistance... could you bring your future children up as you'd hoped... would you be content if she never changed her mind.

These are questions to weigh now, before commitments are made. If we wait for the magical fix, it may never come, and we are just left frustrated and maybe angry, wondering if we did something wrong, putting the responsibility for their choices into our hands. But their salvation is not our choice to make.

Does she support you in what you want to do with your life... do you support each other equally in your goals... would you coexist well together... do you make decisions together well. These are all important to including someone so deeply into your life.

 

[fade2241]

Four years -- that's a long time.
Remember that conversion is a very personal decision -- it goes to the core of who we are... it's what we think about life and purpose. We can't change that in a person, and any amount of pushing does not save someone. It just turns into a power play, a rejection-acceptance issue.

Imagine yourself twenty years from now with the same person. Will you have been able to live out your own faith without too much resistance... could you bring your future children up as you'd hoped... would you be content if she never changed her mind.

These are questions to weigh now, before commitments are made. If we wait for the magical fix, it may never come, and we are just left frustrated and maybe angry, wondering if we did something wrong, putting the responsibility for their choices into our hands. But their salvation is not our choice to make.

Does she support you in what you want to do with your life... do you support each other equally in your goals... would you coexist well together... do you make decisions together well. These are all important to including someone so deeply into your life.

Wow great post. Thanks for answering!

To answer some of your questions, I support her in her life and in all her decisions as she does with me. We get along great. I don't think we would have stayed together this long unless that was the case. This is really the only issue we don't agree on.

It's hard though because I've been a life long christian and I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to share that with my mate. I've actually never even dated anyone who shares my faith, so I don't know what it's like.

It's an interesting situation to say the least.

 

[heron]

Thanks for your appreciation. (-:

Some friends have married unbelievers, and here are some things that come up --

- How much time is spent on church and altruistic activities

- Tithing, especially when finances are short

- Tithing when you're not totally behind what's going on in your church that year

- Opening the house to Bible studies or youth activities (trust, generosity, privacy, fishbowl issues)

- Revealing intimate details of one's life when asking for prayer or counsel -- over-exposing the relationship and breaking certain trusts.

- Priorities of the nonbeliever might seem frivolous or conflicting -- consider a spouse wanting to donate money to a B'hai orphanage, or raise support on a pro-choice walk, or get publicly labeled for speaking out on Anarchism. What your spouse does gets connected with your name.

- Vices and addictions put strain on finances and balance of responsibility, legal freedoms and ability to get insurance. (Not implying that Christianity exempts one from addictions, or nonbelief leads one to indulgence.. .just saying I have seen these things come up.)

- Valuing spiritual discussions to the point where one has invested more time and research than the other, and the spouse tends to feel intimidated.

- Putting spiritual meetings at a higher priority than house chores, playing with the kids, and time spent together.

I could go on. These are just some practical observations to think about.

There are very few scriptures about marrying an unbeliever, but many scriptures on exercising wisdom in your decisions.

 

[fade2241]

Yeah and you're probably just covering the most obvious ones. I am sure that you could go on.

I have taken a "christian dating quiz" somewhere a few months ago and it got me thinking about this extensively. The quiz said that it was against god's word for a christian to date or marry a non believer. It sites this bible verse:

2 Corinthians 6:14-15 - Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

So you can see why this worries me

 

[hubblebear]

Yeah and you're probably just covering the most obvious ones. I am sure that you could go on.

I have taken a "christian dating quiz" somewhere a few months ago and it got me thinking about this extensively. The quiz said that it was against god's word for a christian to date or marry a non believer. It sites this bible verse:

2 Corinthians 6:14-15 - Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

So you can see why this worries me

There is nothing wrong with dating or marrying a non-believer.Anyone who thinks that the hardship that comes with in that marriage is moreso then marriage in general, is completely deluded.

Paul stated that his letters to the corinthians stating to be "separate" from immoral people was not speaking of the immoral people of this world, but rather of so -called christians who are engaging in such immoral behavior. (aka hypocrites, unbelieving Christians..) Also, 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 is not a blanket prohibition, nor is it a commandment. When Paul gave commandments, he said so in his writting.

Love is what matters. love is what drives people to do the will of God weather they are Christian or not. Remember the Good Samaritan parable, we are supposed to be like that, and he wasn't even a believer!

I personally believe God is more concerned with love , then what one claims.

I don't believe God is going to tell someone to marry someone just b/c that person claims to be a christian,(we all know as time evovles how people speak out against abuse that goes on even those homes) any more then I think he will spilt up a couple where where one is christian and the other is not.

I believe first and foremost God looks at whether or not there is LOVE present all around in that relationship. If one treats the other like * insert bad word ,here* whether both people are Christians or not, I don't think he would be very happy with that union. Although , in those instances, you always find religious nuts telling you God wants you to work it out blah, blah blah. But if it were to be an unbeliever, the christian would be blamed for "getting " themself in that situation. *rolls eyes*

From my experience, it's not having been tied with unbelievers ( the "gentiles') that drive me away from God, it's when I'm inolved with a so-called christian, but is really a religious freak, or someone abusive (christian or not) that causes me to fall away. That's unhealthy and thats what is what uneuqally yoked is ( in my opinion), not a christian with a non-christian.

 

[fade2241]

Nice post hubblebear. I guess the word (not commandments) can be interpreted in many ways. I am still concerned about this.

The pastor of my church says that we would have to go through marriage counselling (christian, obviously) before he could marry us there. Since I've been a life long member of the church, I'd really like to be married there but my g/f is completely against it and wants nothing Jesus in the wedding. Not only is that not going to fly with my church, it's also not going to fly with my family - three of my dads sisters are teachers at christian schools, as well as my uncle, who is a pastor himself.

And then there's my g/f who I've been with for quite sometime (about 4 and 1/2yrs) and wants to get married, like...now! lol

I really don't know what to do.