He would be 18 now if I'd let him live

[b.a.t]

My heart goes out to you, I pray that the Lord will bless you with a child someday, maybe it won't be born of you but maybe there is a child out there that needs you. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

 

[beetlequeendiva]

New Creation - I cannot begin to know how this feels but I can and will pray for you. love you xx

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

oh my gosh, can you believe? After I wrote that; I cried and cried and cried-- then I went shopping. Do I need therapy or what? Shopping here that is, I bought a blue guitar ( Jason got one that year for his birthday and use to worship with it) and a paintball and put it on my post to remind me to pray for him . . . . . . only God can reach those innermost places to draw him to a heart of worship again...

Jane

Prayers for you and your sweet babies (one of whom is nearly a legal adult- but to me they'll always be my babies!)

Thank you for pouring your heart out- it has moved me to my depths- remeber that Jesus loves you- you, His little daughter Jane-- even more than you love your children--infinitely more (which always blows my mind that anyone could love me that much!)!! When I am feeling really down I just read Romans 8 over and over again!

 

[woman.at.the.well]

Prayers for you and your sweet babies (one of whom is nearly a legal adult- but to me they'll always be my babies!)

Thank you for pouring your heart out- it has moved me to my depths- remeber that Jesus loves you- you, His little daughter Jane-- even more than you love your children--infinitely more (which always blows my mind that anyone could love me that much!)!! When I am feeling really down I just read Romans 8 over and over again!

God is so good!

 

[woman.at.the.well]

i hope and pray that all the ladies on this thread are healed of thie pain, as i read thru all the post i seen so much guilt pain and heartache. i loss a child when i was pregnant, and it hurts. only God knows what we go thru. i am so thankful to have people to talk to about the baby. each and everyone of us that has lost a baby thru a miscarriage or abortion, will never be forgotten. they will live in our hearts. and when we get to heaven they will be waiting for us with open arms. i am sad that we dont have them in our lifes, but yet rejoice that they are waiting for us in heaven. what a day that will be when we see jesus and our children. i am so thankful that we have each other and we can talk about our losses and have encouragment. that is what God is all about, and i see him in you all. the men and the ladys.

God bless you forgivenmuch! Very well said. Thank you for the encouragement.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

that I have started reading a book called, "A Solitary Sorrow," by Teri Reisser with her husband Paul. It is a very good book and is giving me additional help in the healing process. It is written form her experiences in couseling post abortive women.

I highly recommend it and hope you find it as useful as I have. I've spent the entire day reading through alot of the pages and doing some "exercises" in the book and finding it to be a great help!

to all those who were so encouraging while we memorialized our babies. You are the greatest! You are the people that will hear at the end of your days, "well done, good and faithful servant!" God bless you richly!

 

[ladyhawk]

I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prays and hope that we can all find peace and forgiveness in Our Lord Jesus Christ...Amen

In Jesus I trust....

 

[woman.at.the.well]

I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prays and hope that we can all find peace and forgiveness in Our Lord Jesus Christ...Amen

In Jesus I trust....

Thank you ladyhawk!!! God bless you.

 

[ladyhawk]

God Bless us all, to be the people that You want us to be and find the peace we all need to continue on this earth, forgive ourselves in His Name our Lord Jesus Christ Amen.

I hope that this thread and our posts have helped others to see that they r not alone, I know that it has helped me to let my grief out and now have been able to forgive myself.
Sorry this is so late in the thread but I wrote this ditty and would like to share it with all of you.....I hope this is ok and does not bring back the pain for anyone, as that is NOT my intention...

I am sorry with all that is in me.
I lived with it always....the pain, grief and guilt
Now I have found that I am not alone
With God I trust my everything forever more
Knowing that you are waiting for me
The hugs, kisses and love that was to be denied
I will return this twofold to you with all that is me.
I will see you when it is time.
Loving you more than you will ever know.
But it time that I let you go for now and just be......
Go with the knowledge that I love you.....
Always
Mum xxxxx

Lh2005


Thankyou to New Creation and Woman at the Well for everything.

 

[Maggie893]

God Bless us all, to be the people that You want us to be and find the peace we all need to continue on this earth, forgive ourselves in His Name our Lord Jesus Christ Amen.

I hope that this thread and our posts have helped others to see that they r not alone, I know that it has helped me to let my grief out and now have been able to forgive myself.
Sorry this is so late in the thread but I wrote this ditty and would like to share it with all of you.....I hope this is ok and does not bring back the pain for anyone, as that is NOT my intention...

I am sorry with all that is in me.
I lived with it always....the pain, grief and guilt
Now I have found that I am not alone
With God I trust my everything forever more
Knowing that you are waiting for me
The hugs, kisses and love that was to be denied
I will return this twofold to you with all that is me.
I will see you when it is time.
Loving you more than you will ever know.
But it time that I let you go for now and just be......
Go with the knowledge that I love you.....
Always
Mum xxxxx

Lh2005


Thankyou to New Creation and Woman at the Well for everything.

Thank you Ladyhawk for this. It's perfect. Tears are not always bad, suffering leads to strength. This touches me and I'm sure others. Thank you for sharing it.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

God Bless us all, to be the people that You want us to be and find the peace we all need to continue on this earth, forgive ourselves in His Name our Lord Jesus Christ Amen.

I hope that this thread and our posts have helped others to see that they r not alone, I know that it has helped me to let my grief out and now have been able to forgive myself.
Sorry this is so late in the thread but I wrote this ditty and would like to share it with all of you.....I hope this is ok and does not bring back the pain for anyone, as that is NOT my intention...

I am sorry with all that is in me.
I lived with it always....the pain, grief and guilt
Now I have found that I am not alone
With God I trust my everything forever more
Knowing that you are waiting for me
The hugs, kisses and love that was to be denied
I will return this twofold to you with all that is me.
I will see you when it is time.
Loving you more than you will ever know.
But it time that I let you go for now and just be......
Go with the knowledge that I love you.....
Always
Mum xxxxx

Lh2005


Thankyou to New Creation and Woman at the Well for everything.

to our babies and every woman who has had an abortion. I just know we all did the right thing and know you are right ladyhawk! I hope too this thread helps EVERYONE who has been affected by abortion. The truth shall set us free indeed!

 

[New Creation]

God Bless us all, to be the people that You want us to be and find the peace we all need to continue on this earth, forgive ourselves in His Name our Lord Jesus Christ Amen.

I hope that this thread and our posts have helped others to see that they r not alone, I know that it has helped me to let my grief out and now have been able to forgive myself.
Sorry this is so late in the thread but I wrote this ditty and would like to share it with all of you.....I hope this is ok and does not bring back the pain for anyone, as that is NOT my intention...

I am sorry with all that is in me.
I lived with it always....the pain, grief and guilt
Now I have found that I am not alone
With God I trust my everything forever more
Knowing that you are waiting for me
The hugs, kisses and love that was to be denied
I will return this twofold to you with all that is me.
I will see you when it is time.
Loving you more than you will ever know.
But it time that I let you go for now and just be......
Go with the knowledge that I love you.....
Always
Mum xxxxx

Lh2005


Thankyou to New Creation and Woman at the Well for everything.

So beautiful. And just what we want to say, isn't it?

Ladyhawk, I PRAISE OUR SWEET LORD that you have found forgiveness.
Amen.

 

[New Creation]

The strangest thing has happened to me and I want to share it with my sisters- the ones who have given their time and love in prayer for me and for each other.

Early in this thread I pondered if I would ever be a mother- if I deserved it. I long for a child of my own.

One month ago, there was an extreme emergency situation in our family. My sister in law is unable to care for her 12 year old son and he has been living with us for the last month. It became official this week: he will be with us for the next year for sure and likely, until he is an adult. He is not my son, nor will he ever be, but he is a young boy, my family, and he is a hurting, sweet and bright child that needs guidance and love. For some crazy reason, God has chosen my husband and I for this. For the time being anyhow.

Isn't it amazing (and funny) how our Great God answers our prayers?

Ladies, I truly believe that your prayers helped make this happen. I am in AWE of our Daddy. THANK YOU JESUS!!!
AND THANK YOU SISTERS!

 

[New Creation]

My heart goes out to you, I pray that the Lord will bless you with a child someday, maybe it won't be born of you but maybe there is a child out there that needs you. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Out of the mouths of Brits!.......

 

[ladyhawk]

Praise Jesus NC as u said it is out of the mouth of Brits and I hope it all works out for u all, this 12yr old sounds like he needs u as much if not more than u needed him, it was in Gods time and his timeing is perfect.

Congratulations to u and hubby on your new addition to your family....

Please won't you give us up dates from time to time as how it is all going ????

Again to u Congratulations..

Praying for u always and in my thoughts u shall stay

Luv Always
Ladyhawk
xxxx

 

[Charon]

Or she.
I was 17 years old when I had my baby aborted and it still hurts almost 19 years later.
I had a really messy adolescence and I still remember these words from my father to this day..."My first grandchild, an abortion." There was no offer to help me with the baby though. There was never any talk of how we could let the child live. No. It was only the last straw. My parents threw me out of the house and less than a month later I was stripping for a living and starting my career as an alcoholic.

I have Christ now and we have done some work on this, but not really a lot. It's such a deep wound. I don't like to call it an issue. It's not an issue. It's me and my child. The child I never let live. I have a long ways to go. Only heaven will completely heal me.

When my sister announced that she was pregnant two years ago, I literally screamed for joy and embraced her. I was so happy for her especially since she'd always said she never wanted children. My father was ecstatic.
But later that night, alone, jealousy set in. That was the last time I drank btw.

An old friend from my old life went out drinking one night and wound up pregnant, not sure who the dad is. She drank and smoked pot during the pregnancy and now, thankfully, she has a healthy little baby boy and a new lease on life. I must admit, there is some jealousy there too. And a little self righteousness eh?

A month ago, my brother's wife told us that she was pregnant. I guess you could say it was a shock. To be completely honest, it was hard for me to find joy though I think I faked it pretty well. It was jealousy again. And it was the week of my wedding when they announced it so I also felt like they stole some of our thunder. I know, selfish and petty. Still the way I felt. I'm trying to be honest here.
One thing that hurts me is that no one, not even me, talks about the first grandchild in heaven. This child is partially responsible for leading me to Christ, 16 years after his/her death. It's not fair that this child doesn't even get mentioned. I wonder sometimes- does my dad even remember?

I should mention that I am the oldest of the three kids and the irony of me having the first pregnancy but the last child is not lost on me.

Oh and by the way- that's the thing. Who says I'll ever have a child? Why should I get a child? Why would God give me another after the callous, murderous way I treated the first? This is one of my fears. I'm going on 37 and I am childless. I am married less than a month and oh Lord, I really want to have a baby. Is it in God's plan for me? I don't know. Do I deserve it? I really don't know. Why am I even writing here? I don't know. I was just drawn here I guess.
My baby deserves to have some attention. He deserves some love. I know he is with Jesus so he has more love than anyone on earth right now, thank you Lord for receiving my child.
Last year I encouraged my best friend to have a memorial service for her aborted baby, but I have never done anything of the sort for mine. Maybe I should. I don't know. I don't know anything. This is still such a dark place for me- you just don't want to go there sometimes, you know? Has anyone ever been healed of this before Heaven? What does it feel like?

I wish my dad would acknowledge the grandchild in a way that he never did before. I wish I never did it. I wish I could know my baby's spirit and I wish for forgiveness from my baby even though there's no reason in the world I deserve it. What gall! Asking forgiveness from the one I killed. I am so grateful and incredulous that my Lord would forgive me for one of the most heinous acts on the planet. Is it any wonder I punished myself with self-hatred for almost 16 years? But is that any way to pay tribute to the one who is gone? No he deserves better than that. And perhaps I can do better for him and BY him.
There seems to be no point to this post really. Just an acknowledgement of a person who never had a chance.
Please pray for me.
Pray that I will find joy for my siblings. Please pray that my bitterness will be healed. And dare I say...please pray for my husband and I to be blessed with a child.

Have you heard of the National Memorial for the Unborn? It's in Chattanaga, Tennessee. Many people put plaques up to honor their lost children.

 

[New Creation]

Have you heard of the National Memorial for the Unborn? It's in Chattanaga, Tennessee. Many people put plaques up to honor their lost children.

I haven't, no. Thank you for the heads up. I'll check it out on-line. I wonder if there's anything like that in Canada?

 

[ladyhawk]

Have you had any luck finding anything in canada ????

I wonder if there is anything in Australia !!!

Hope you r doing ok New Creation to you....

 

[New Creation]

Have you had any luck finding anything in canada ????

I wonder if there is anything in Australia !!!

Hope you r doing ok New Creation to you....

I emailed the priests at the National Memorial and am still waiting for a reply but my own searching turned up "Unborn Park" in Kirkfield, Ontario which is in the Kawarthas. It is a two acre park dedicated to the Unborn. It's centrepiece is a cross mounted with a broken heart. It is at this park called "Catholicland".
http://www.catholicland.com/home.html

click on "More"


Unfortunately, I live closer to Tenessee than Kirkfield!! Both are thousands of miles away!

 

[ladyhawk]

I hope you can find something closer to home...that would be great.