The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.
If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.
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Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
woman.at.the.well said:I just wanted to stop by and tell everyone thank you so much for your prayers and kindness. They mean more than words could describe. Just know that during the Memorial service for our aborted babies today, we could feel your love surrounding us like I can not even describe.
I feel a sense of peace, hope, and new beginnings like I've never felt before. I know Lance and Lindsay are with Our Father Who is in Heaven and that they are safe and sound, and being loved like we can't even imagine.
The Lord blessed us with a beautiful day. Warm but not too hot, not a cloud in the sky. He led me to a beautiful place by our lake on the island, right by the water's edge.
It was perfect and I thank you for your prayers that helped this happen.
I'll stop by and chat again after I've had a chance to catch up with NC and we share what happened with one another.
God bless you!
Maggie893 said:Thank you so much for sharing this. I will continue to pray for you both. You were on my heart all day. It's a powerful and important part of healing. Bless you both for your love for your children.
woman.at.the.well said:Thank you sooooooooo much to Imani for sending me the awesome Teddy Bear. You are a treasure Imani and I appreciate this more than I could say. Please know how much this touched my heart to recieve.
NC and I finally caught up with one another yesterday afternoon. Needless to say after quite a hike she was extremely exhausted when she got home. We both felt a sense of peace and calmness - all because we had so many wonderful people praying for us.
We know our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was with us as we memorialized our babies. As were Lance and Lindsay and all the other aborted souls in heaven with us. We could feel ourselves being surrounded with so much love, I could not possibly describe that feeling.
As I left the island where I lived, the Lord prompted me to stop at a Memorial for our soldiers right in the middle of our town. I thought, "how appropriate, not only were those soldiers who died for our freedom killed because of evil, so were NC's baby and mine killed because of evil."
God bless you all, and thank you again soooooooooo much for all the kindness, love, and encouragment you offered.
Will share more later. Feel free to ask questions if you like!
WATW
New Creation said:Thank you Maggie.
Special thanks to Sara who had her own memorial yesterday halfway 'round the world for my precious boy. Thank you for your tears, your thoughts, your prayers, your love.
Thank yous to ALL of you who were thinking of us and praying for us-it's true what woman at the well said- we KNEW we were surrounded by love yesterday.
It was hard at first, letting go- but then he was never mine to begin with- always he was the Lord's. Still, finally giving him up emotionally and spiritually to God was harder than I thought it would be but it left me with a sense of calm and peace I had never quite experienced before....
Knowing that Woman at the Well was going through the same thing as me just gave me the most awesome sense of connection and gave me comfort and strength. To me, Lindsay and Lance will always be somehow joined together...I praise God for His great Wisdom and Compassion for giving us to each other as friends,sisters and partners in mourning and healing.
I had kept the hospital bracelet from the operation nearly 19 years ago. God told me to give it up yesterday- and that might have been hardest of all. It was the most tangible thing I had from his life. But I know that's not the way God wanted me to remember his life, so I burned it and threw the remains in the ocean.
The night before, my sweet husband Lloyd gave me a sympathy card and a little Austrian crystal in the shape of a star. And that's what I call him now- Lance, my Little Star who is with Christ.
I have been blessed so much by this entire experience, from my very first post to this one and more than likely, beyond. God has moved powerfully during this time and healing is taking place. I am indeed, a New Creation.
Have I forgiven myself? Hardest question of all.
I have forgiven the lost, lonely and pained to seek love anywhere she could 17 year old girl that I was. If I knew her now, if I met her now, I'll tell ya, I'd take her in and love her. I'd tell her what taking her baby's life would do to her. I'd remind her that life is NOT ours to take, it is for us to CARE FOR as a gift from our Creator. And then I'd care for her.
What's missing from the equation? Who cares for the women who seek abortions? After they decide not to abort- what then? What if they are STILL poor or have nowhere to live? No one to love them? These are some of the reasons women seek to abort. We need to help them avoid that space in the first place- OR help them- truly show the love of Christ- while they are IN that space. Sorry- rambling now but I have so much energy, so much emotion about it all.
Truly this is a ministry we can all do something in. God will show us how to save His little ones, and His not so little ones too.
Not another. NOT ANOTHER. In Jesus' Christ's Holy Name, let us preserve life.
This is a picture of the bracelet just before I destroyed it. The bear was sent to me by dear Sara.
What's missing from the equation? Who cares for the women who seek abortions? After they decide not to abort- what then? What if they are STILL poor or have nowhere to live? No one to love them?
Hisrosebud said:
I am one of these women. Would it be rude of me to share my story? My son will be 18 this November. . . . .
I remember it well, I was 19 and in college to be a school teacher. I was pregnant. Abortion was not an option for me. My roommates threw me out because they wanted to convince me to have an abortion. My boyfriend pushed for me to have an abortion. The superintendent of our school district whose son I babysat for wanted me to have an abortion--everywhere I turned. She yelled at me one night saying it was the most selfish thing that I could do- bring this child into the world with nothing to give him. Who was I to do this to him? So, homeless, now jobless ( I worked in a daycare and was a "bad example"for the children) and terrified I moved back home. It was horrible, I slept on an air mattress in a home that the state took me out of as a child, pregnant, exhausted without a friend in the world. I struggled to keep my son whom I loved more than myself. I put myself through college, had no toliet paper, no money for a car, took the bus through 3 cities to get through school. He had to sit through classes with me (much to the teachers outward dismay in front of him--he better be quiet or out you go);I got thrown out of one apartment because (at 21) I could not keep the apartment clean enough. 6 classes, an internship and barely surviving. I ended up one christmas in a homeless shelter.
I returned to the Lord. I felt His love, but not the christian community. Can I be honest? I was everyone's ministry, not their friend. I would listen to the christian leaders on the christian radio talk about single parent homes and the terrible statistics about my son's future. I would not be invited to married couples home for dinner ( I was a dangerous woman) and singles did not have the responsibilities of a child that I had and could not understand. I struggled so hard that even as I write this I am weeping. I had no idea this pain was here. I was so alone, so terrified and it seemed that no matter how hard I tried I could not fit in. I ached to be in a family. I dated dangerous boyfriends just seeking to give my son a "family" . Always running from work, to daycare, to home, never getting a chance to breathe. People letting me know how unworthy I was, from the Sunday morning sermons to the foodstamp lines to the comments. . . . I could write for hours.
Do I love my son? Absolutely, like I said more than myself and to that superintendent-- there has been nothing selfish in my choice. Anything that resembles me ( my dreams, my goals, my desires) was checked at the door 18 years ago. I humbled myself to get food from church pantries-- with the disapproving comments that "if man doesn't work, he doesn't eat". While working and never having enough to pay all the bills. Boss's not understanding that when a child is sick, I am the only one who could stay home with him. I can't tell you how difficult it has been- in fact I did n't realize it until I read your post.
Please, invite a single parent to dinner. If they say the wrong things at first, invite them again. Not all of us are looking for a "free ride" or to leach off of every hardworking family. Some of us made a decision to fight against the tide in the face of our mistake and live daily struggling to keep from drowing or giving up.
I had two misscarriages and just realized tonight why I can't heal from the pain of loosing them. I feel also like the woman at the well and have thought that I lost those babies because 1) I did not have enough faith to make them live and 2)price for my past sin of fornication and rebellion; that I did not deserve them or any resemblance to a normal family.
My condemnation of having my son was partly from guilt but mostly all the adversity I have faced in my decision to keep him. I stood alone- no, I stood holding my baby. It was a terrifying, overwhelming sense of helplessness and fear that he would not have enough food or a secure upbringing. I prayed Isaiah 54 - that my maker would be my husband -- and that he would be the father of my son. Standing in the midst of His people I felt the most guilty, like a scarlet letter on my shirt.
Is it ok for me to just get this out? I am grateful that I have my son and would not change that choice for the world. The beatings that I have endured, I wish they would heal now, I wish I could have had love or some support for having kept him. I have posted this elsewhere-- now a days, he is a fantastic child. His friends hang out here, he is on the high honor roll. He just took his SATs and is applying to college. He wants to be a police officer- he is going to major in criminal justice. Please, also pray for Him.
We just left our church after 7 years. He used to love to worship the Lord. In second grade for his birthday party; he wanted a "worship party" so all his friends met at the church and the Youth pastor let them "jam" for Jesus. I ache to see that in his eyes again.
Thankyou for your post, it hit me in depths that I did not know existed. May our Lord Bless you and keep you.
Jane
Servant to Jesus,
wife to Tony,
mother to Jason 17, Caleb 5, and Hannah 2
and two precious, very wanted little girls in Jesus's arms.
Hisrosebud said:oh my gosh, can you believe? After I wrote that; I cried and cried and cried-- then I went shopping. Do I need therapy or what? Shopping here that is, I bought a blue guitar ( Jason got one that year for his birthday and use to worship with it) and a paintball and put it on my post to remind me to pray for him . . . . . . only God can reach those innermost places to draw him to a heart of worship again...
Jane
Hisrosebud said:oh my gosh, can you believe? After I wrote that; I cried and cried and cried-- then I went shopping. Do I need therapy or what? Shopping here that is, I bought a blue guitar ( Jason got one that year for his birthday and use to worship with it) and a paintball and put it on my post to remind me to pray for him . . . . . . only God can reach those innermost places to draw him to a heart of worship again...
Jane
Hisrosebud said:
We just left our church after 7 years. He used to love to worship the Lord. In second grade for his birthday party; he wanted a "worship party" so all his friends met at the church and the Youth pastor let them "jam" for Jesus. I ache to see that in his eyes again.
Thankyou for your post, it hit me in depths that I did not know existed. May our Lord Bless you and keep you.
Jane
Servant to Jesus,
wife to Tony,
mother to Jason 17, Caleb 5, and Hannah 2
and two precious, very wanted little girls in Jesus's arms.
Maggie893 said:It was incredibly hard for her, even with my help, to get by day to day. I know that you have only scratched the surface of the difficulties. I tried to get her involved in her local church but she stopped going because they kept pushing her to get involved in teaching sunday school or some such thing. She was so exhausted, I can't begin to figure out why they would suggest adding to her workload, and no one came to help her, ever. I was so disappointed but I trust that in all things God is sovereign.
Interestingly enough at a youth ministry event I attended last year there was a workshop on abortion/adoption/parenting with several speakers having experienced each of these things in their late teens. Once we got to open dialogue, the leader asked the youth audience how they would handle it if their friend told them they were pregnant. They all, unanimously said, ""I'll support you know matter what you do." At that point I couldn't contain myself any longer so I asked if they would support them financially, let them move in, rearrange their lives and plans to help their friend. How far are they willing to go when they say they will support. Let me tell you when I told them my friends story, they began to understand that really loving someone means that you do the hard stuff, you follow through and you love them with a tough stance on right and wrong to help them not to hurt them. I didn't know the meaning when I said it at first but I certainly do now. It is worth every sacrifice and strain but people need to hear your story. People need to be ready to sacrifice for one another, no matter how well they know the person. Throwing out the pro-life rhetoric but not standing with the women is useless.
Thank you so much. I could go on and on about how important your words are that you have shared and I give you so much credit for raising your son through all that adversity. You are blessed to be a blessing.
As to your comments about not deserving the children that you lost. You really need to be at peace. No one, absolutely no one, deserves to have children. No one deserves to lose children either. God is not punishing you nor does He honor us. Children are purely a gift undeserved and the love we experience whether we birth them or not will cause joy and pain in our living. It's an opportunity in either scenario to draw closer to our heavenly Father. Suffering always comes from love. If we didn't love we wouldn't suffer. Be blessed in the abundance of love that you have and allow the suffering to unite you more closely with Jesus who loved us to death!
for you and prayers for your son!
New Creation said:Tomorrow is the 19th anniversary of the operation.
This year, things won't be quite so hard.
Thanks to God and to all of you.
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