He would be 18 now if I'd let him live

[ShannonMcCatholic]

And Lloyd said "I already do babe."

Ohhhhh- that is so awesome! Continued prayers for you and your husband!

 

[woman.at.the.well]

I don't think I need to go anymore actually. At least, not now. The lady I spoke to at Rachel's vineyard was really helpful to me today. I don't need to go to a strange place to say goodbye to my son. I want to do it at home.
Today, my husband and I really spoke about all of this today. I told him where I have been in my head and in my heart this week. I told him that I wanted Lance to be acknowledged. I told him all of my thoughts and feelings. Near the end of our conversation, I said "And one day, I'll see him in heaven and we will be together and love each other. And you will love him too."
And Lloyd said "I already do babe."
I just about lost it.
That was one of the things I needed. To make sure that LLoyd knew that Lance would always be my first child. And that he deserved acknowledgement in OUR family.
I can't tell you folks how blessed I feel right now. I really can't. I feel lighter. I know that my son LOVES me.
Isn't that amazing?
And it is because Jesus loved me first.
I have no words.

Your husband sounds like an awesome man New Creation! My heart leaped when I read what he said to you, "I already do babe."

May you be blessed even more as the days pass by.

Love, Your sister and friend,
WATW

 

[dicentra spectabilis]

Thank you for sharing your story, and I'll be praying for you to have a pregnancy with your new marriage (congratulations, by the way) and have another child. It's a brave thing to share your story when there are so many judgemental folks around, and I admire you for it.

 

[SetFreeOne]

[font=Times New Roman, Times, serif][size=+2]
For Carmen, For James[/size][/font]

For the babies I yearn to have my first look at, but cant yet.
[font=Times New Roman, Times, serif]
--;@For Carmen@;--

I didnt know.
They never told me
what the toll on you would be.
Or I would never have done what I did.
Never would have had a license to sin
And you would be here with me
in this life , where you were meant to be.

--;@For James@;--

Yes I know.
What I did was wrong.
Should have said no.
So I write this poem
To tell you Im sorry for my sin.
And we will be together again.
And we'll be a family,
In the mansion God built for us to live.

---;@ @@ @;---

But I know you're in heaven now,
waiting for me.
And you know I'll come around,
when the Good Lord wishes it to be.
Until then keep the house clean.
Wear clean socks when you visit the King.
And dont forget to wait for me.
Love,
Mom.

by Ivbnsetfree

Author's Comments:
"People dont know. They dont see the pictures that Doctors have taken of the REAL stages of human development. Please young lady, Please for me, I swear an oath... it really is... a he or a she. A baby. Stop the madness. Say NO. I lost Carmen through birth control. I aborted James. Dont do it. You will live to regret it. It just hurts too much."



[/font]

 

[SetFreeOne]

[font=Times New Roman, Times, serif][size=+2]
Unborn[/size][/font]

To all hurting women, to all those considering....
[font=Times New Roman, Times, serif]
Not unliving
Not unformed
Not unimportant
Not something to scrape away


Unborn


Die a horrid torturous death
Robbed of the right to their first breath
No happy days chock full of giggles
No toys, no dolls, no shoes so little
Tossed in a dumpster coldheartedly
A permanent statement,"Dont bother me."
Punished for a crime they didnt commit
Because mommy has her life to live
Doctors have taken pictures galore
To prove planned parenthood butchers wrong
And show these women truths light
Before its too late to realize
And those poor women go through the pain
Of seeing the truth, feeling the shame
Oh the torture of five long years
My little James I sadly grieved
But I knew better, so I can see
Their pain is worse than mine could ever be
My mother promoted right to life
She told me God said its not right
To rip a baby from the womb
A garbage can to be his tomb
Someone needs to provide information
These ladies need for their decision
So before you put your heart through strife
Contact your local Christians For Life
They will provide you with some pictures
So you can see the stages gone through
Your baby looks like you and me
Flippin' and divin' at seven weeks
At three weeks with high tech equipment
You can hear his heart just a thumpin'
And at ten days, a surprising change
You can actually detect your babies brainwaves.
I'll never forget the look on my husbands face
When I showed him the real live pictures that graced
The flier I got from Christians for Life
A flier printed in '87 denied
When he was trying to make that call
The pain he now goes through is unbearable
I heard him crying "I want my boy back"
And yet he knew its too late for that
But James is with Jesus in heaven you see
Waiting patiently for his daddy and me
And Jesus has reached down and touched my heart
Told me He loves me "now go sin no more"
Dont think that now that you know the truth
You're damned to hell, theres no hope for you
Thats not true , I hope you can see
Though we were wrong, He still died to set us free.


by Ivbnsetfree

Author's Comments:
"This is something that was on my heart. I was doing a challenge for encourager on my calling. One of the fascets of my calling is to fight abortion and bring post abortive women to the knowlege of healing and forgiveness with a bible study called forgiven and set free. Now you know a secret part of me. Something that is still hard to share sometimes. Yet I do it so that maybe, just maybe, I can save ONE unborn life. James deserves that. Love, Mary."



[/font]

 

[SetFreeOne]

Dear NewCreation,

The above two poems are my personal story. If I may, there is a workbook called "Forgiven and Set Free" by Linda Cochrane. It can be found at

http://bakerbooks.com

Just click on search by topic, and enter abortion.

I look foreward to speaking with you in the future.

Remember, you are loved.

 

[SetFreeOne]

Zita123,
I totally understand where you are coming from, as that is what I told myself for years. But I came to feel that while God might have had other plans for me before I engaged in sexual behavior, once I made that choice and conceived the child, He never would have wanted me to end his life.

Yes, God was with me the whole time, He never left me. But had I been listening I think He'd have been saying something like "Beloved, trust me. I can help you through this, this child is mine, just as you are, If I want to bring him back to me, I will do so, but please don't make this choice, please don't do this to yourself" Unfortunately I didn't listen then, and because of it, I didn't listen to Him for 22 years after that.

I did eventually begin to blame myself (or to finally recognize the blame I was always putting there) but that was a good thing. By finally recognizing and accepting that I had done something wrong, I could finally, finally open myself up to His healing love! And believe me His healing love is far more satisfying than the denial and shame I tortured myself with for 22 years! Yes I did something terribly wrong, but He loves me anyway. His love is so incredibly deep, He has cried tears for me until I finally turned to Him and recognized that love.

Admitting I did wrong and accepting His forgiveness was the biggest sigh of relief I ever experienced. It had hung over me for so long as I tried to rationalize and justify, always knowing in my heart that something didn't ring true.

Sorry, long story, of course, there's much more. I treasure your beautiful intentions above, they show a love of Christ and of your neighbor that is transcendent. Your very kind heart is quite evident. I can't speak to anyone else, but I just know that for me, admitting that my choice of abortion was wrong was the first step in authentically accepting His love and forgiveness.

In Christ,
amy

This is so beautiful amy.

Thank you for sharing. I will be reading more of this thread as time allows. I just dont have it tonight. But I wanted to toss my two cents in ....

 

[SetFreeOne]

I don't think I need to go anymore actually. At least, not now. The lady I spoke to at Rachel's vineyard was really helpful to me today. I don't need to go to a strange place to say goodbye to my son. I want to do it at home.
Today, my husband and I really spoke about all of this today. I told him where I have been in my head and in my heart this week. I told him that I wanted Lance to be acknowledged. I told him all of my thoughts and feelings. Near the end of our conversation, I said "And one day, I'll see him in heaven and we will be together and love each other. And you will love him too."
And Lloyd said "I already do babe."
I just about lost it.
That was one of the things I needed. To make sure that LLoyd knew that Lance would always be my first child. And that he deserved acknowledgement in OUR family.
I can't tell you folks how blessed I feel right now. I really can't. I feel lighter. I know that my son LOVES me.
Isn't that amazing?
And it is because Jesus loved me first.
I have no words.

Jesus named my son. Do you know what He called him? James. And Jesus said it was ok for me to add a middle name. His name is James Dean Freeman.

You know , I went to church and finally got the healing I needed. If you can go to the retreat, and if you want to , then go. But know this, that you dont have to. Jesus can touch you right where you are! And He can come to YOU to heal you ! Isnt that great?

 

[New Creation]

Jesus named my son. Do you know what He called him? James. And Jesus said it was ok for me to add a middle name. His name is James Dean Freeman.

You know , I went to church and finally got the healing I needed. If you can go to the retreat, and if you want to , then go. But know this, that you dont have to. Jesus can touch you right where you are! And He can come to YOU to heal you ! Isnt that great?

SetFreeOne, God bless your beautiful heart. Thank you for offering a part of yourself to us in order to ease some suffering and open some eyes.

Jesus has been healing me all week long, and really, even before that. Today is mother's day, and I know His timing is perfect.
My heart goes out to you and your husband. I love James' middle name .

 

[hope4today]

I am speechless, yet I feel compelled to speak. To all the women who have posted on this thread. You are amazing. To tell your stories, share your pain and then to hear of the restoration in Christ is inspiring. To hear the change from the pain of New Creation's first post to the hope and life in the last is what this forum is all about and the joy of our new life in Christ. Each of you is a pearl of great price, a daughter of the King and loved and cherished by the Father in ways that only our heavenly Father can.
In the first post New Creation spoke of getting what we deserve or don't deserve. What an amazing and faithful God that none of us get what we deserve, instead we get life and life abundantly, blessing upon blessing. New Creation what a blessing your new husband is to you and although we do not know the future, I do pray that you will be blessed also with the baby you so desire. The Holy Perfect Son of God not only took our place on the cross, but has given us his place by taking us into himself. "For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God" Col 3:3. Praise God, he does not condemn us or punish us. He holds out his hand, forgives us and lifts us into heavenly places with him. He hides us in the perfect life of Christ, which he lived for us. Praise be to God for ever and ever and ever.

Love, Peace and Blessing to you all

 

[MG]

New Creation - I just wanted to send you a *hug*. Your testimony moved me beyond words.

Our Lord is so good.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

Thank you for posting this. I wish more women would share their stories like you have done.

I wish they would too (myself included) because just like the Good Book says in John 8:32: "The truth shall set you free!" And that is really what satan wants -- is for us to be alone in our silence and shame. Well, get thee behind me satan.

I too am like our sister New Creation. I had an abortion 28 years ago. I believe my baby was a girl and I named her Lindsay several years ago. My sister, unknowingly (to this day) named her daughter Lindsay (18 years ago). Funny how things work out that way. I have not allowed myself to think about this for years.

I drowned myself in hate and anger; drugs and alcohol and cigarettes; a tough chic attitude. You name it, I drowned in it! Matter of fact, I chose the user id "woman at the well" because of my past promiscuous lifestyle (3 marriages) that I believe was a part of the abortion process. It's been a long hard road.

I also had two miscarriages that I would like to mention in this post. They too are prevelant on my mind today. I'm almost certain one was a boy, not sure about the other. The boy I named Dylan.

Anyway . . . God bless those who shared their stories so openly in this thread I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me the courage to say my own story openly and honestly.

The Lord is starting to bring some things to the surface concerning my losses with these babies. I know I need to mourn. I know I need to heal. And I thank you for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers for those of us who have gone through this. Thank you for making us feel like we're not alone, or that we are unforgivable, and letting us know we don't need to carry the shame anymore.

You guys are awesome and true examples of Christ in the forum!

God bless you!

 

[ladyhawk]

To all of those that have had the courage to talk about and write it down in such a public forum, it gets easier, but that is just the first step, the next is to forgive yourself... God has ... So why can't you ?
Yes!!! it is easier said than done ... I know this .... I am talking out of experience ( I have lost 5 )

To those who just read our stories, I hope it has helped you all... to talk about it, with whom ever you need to talk about it and I hope also that it has helped in the start of the healing of your pain and loss ... You are not alone.

May you all learn to love yourselves again, as God loves you, ask for forgivness and you shall be forgiven.....

 

[New Creation]

I wish they would too (myself included) because just like the Good Book says in John 8:32: "The truth shall set you free!" And that is really what satan wants -- is for us to be alone in our silence and shame. Well, get thee behind me satan.

I too am like our sister New Creation. I had an abortion 28 years ago. I believe my baby was a girl and I named her Lindsay several years ago. My sister, unknowingly (to this day) named her daughter Lindsay (18 years ago). Funny how things work out that way. I have not allowed myself to think about this for years.

I drowned myself in hate and anger; drugs and alcohol and cigarettes; a tough chic attitude. You name it, I drowned in it! Matter of fact, I chose the user id "woman at the well" because of my past promiscuous lifestyle (3 marriages) that I believe was a part of the abortion process. It's been a long hard road.

I also had two miscarriages that I would like to mention in this post. They too are prevelant on my mind today. I'm almost certain one was a boy, not sure about the other. The boy I named Dylan.

Anyway . . . God bless those who shared their stories so openly in this thread I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me the courage to say my own story openly and honestly.

The Lord is starting to bring some things to the surface concerning my losses with these babies. I know I need to mourn. I know I need to heal. And I thank you for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers for those of us who have gone through this. Thank you for making us feel like we're not alone, or that we are unforgivable, and letting us know we don't need to carry the shame anymore.

You guys are awesome and true examples of Christ in the forum!

God bless you!

Thank you so much for sharing your story with everyone sister. I KNOW it has made a difference.

God has chosen May 30, Memorial Day as the day for me to memorialize my son. A good friend and sister in the Lord will also be joining me (not physically) to mourn her daughter. If you wouldn't mind keeping us in prayer that day ladies, we would really appreciate it. We'll need some help. I know I can count on you all. Thank you.

 

[ladyhawk]

I am praying for you New Creation and all of those who have a story to tell.. .....remember you r not as alone as you first thought..

 

[Mr.Cheese]

*hug*
Your mistake is an experience you can use to help other young girls.

Only recently I learned that I would have had a big sister if it weren't for this...procedure.

I'll never understand the pain you feel. But I do know that you can take it and conquer rather than let it conquer you.

You understand these confused girls. You have been in their darkness yourself. Now you can shine some light on them.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

Thank you so much for sharing your story with everyone sister. I KNOW it has made a difference.

God has chosen May 30, Memorial Day as the day for me to memorialize my son. A good friend and sister in the Lord will also be joining me (not physically) to mourn her daughter. If you wouldn't mind keeping us in prayer that day ladies, we would really appreciate it. We'll need some help. I know I can count on you all. Thank you.

I'll keep on praying for you!!

 

[New Creation]

*hug*
Your mistake is an experience you can use to help other young girls.

Only recently I learned that I would have had a big sister if it weren't for this...procedure.

I'll never understand the pain you feel. But I do know that you can take it and conquer rather than let it conquer you.

You understand these confused girls. You have been in their darkness yourself. Now you can shine some light on them.

I'm sorry about your sister Mr. Cheese. That's something that I never really thought about before- how siblings would be affected by all this. Thank you for letting me see from another angle.

God can use all things.... the light is all His.


Shannon, thank you for your prayers. You are an amazing warrior for Christ.

 

[ames61]

New Creation,
I'll be praying for you and your friend on 5/30. May you be richly blessed in this.

Someone mentioned Forgiven and Set Free bible study. I've heard this is a wonderful study as well. I believe it is good to have a plan (the study, a retreat, friends online in this thread!) when you enter into this forgiveness work. As we can all see in this thread, the witness of those who have bought the lie is a very powerful one. Pope John Paul II said to the mothers of aborted children " "

The enemy knows that our recovery and witness is a devastating blow to his attack on the culture of life. He will do anything he can to derail that recovery. Thus it is very good that we maintain solidarity, and a connection with someone or something who will help us to stay on track with our eyes fixed on our Saviour.

God bless you.

Amy
Luke 7:36-50

 

[ames61]

New Creation,
I'll be praying for you and your friend on 5/30. May you be richly blessed in this.

Someone mentioned Forgiven and Set Free bible study. I've heard this is a wonderful study as well. I believe it is good to have a plan (the study, a retreat, friends online in this thread!) when you enter into this forgiveness work. As we can all see in this thread, the witness of those who have bought the lie is a very powerful one. Pope John Paul II said to the mothers of aborted children " "

The enemy knows that our recovery and witness is a devastating blow to his attack on the culture of life. He will do anything he can to derail that recovery. Thus it is very good that we maintain solidarity, and a connection with someone or something who will help us to stay on track with our eyes fixed on our Saviour.

God bless you.

Amy
Luke 7:36-50

whoops, forgot to add the quote from JPII

I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. You will come to understand that nothing is definitively lost and you will also be able to ask forgiveness from your child, who is now living in the Lord. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will become promoters of a new way of looking at human life.