Having a difficult time with this

[Hockey_Fan]

Ok, so it seems lately everytime I turn around, someone I know is getting married (or has recently gotten married). Often its people I met as singles. I was friends but never really pressed for a deeper relationship.

On one hand, I'm happy for them. On the other, I wonder about myself. As the years tick by and my personal window of opportunity gets smaller and smaller, I wonder "What did so-and-so see in someone else and not in me?"

Anyone else experience the same sort of feelings?

 

[JasperJackson]

Yeah I'm noticing that too. Lots of people getting engaged at the moment. Not necessarily people I was interested in but it still gets to me.

I know you know this but it's worth saying. Wallowing in self-pity won't help.

When I've been married for 20 years I'll probably be a much better husband than when I first get married. And its gonna take work to get there. So why not start now!? Why not try and get ready and work on those aspects of myself that will be needed once I'm married. It can only make my (eventual) marriage even better! Anyway, that's what I'm trying to do to stop singleness getting to me.

 

[broken_one]

You're living in my life. In the future.

 

[mina]

Yes, I've felt that way before. It's hard to go through. And often you feel alone going through those feelings, but I think it's pretty common for most that have been single awhile. What always helped me was to count my blessings. I may not have had what I wanted but I would consciously list all the things that I was thankful for that i did have in my life.

 

[joolsonline]

Sorry to hear that you're feeling that way Hockey_Fan.

There was a time in my life where I felt the same, until someone encouraged me with hope and mentioned along the lines of... your time will come when you will be with someone that makes you happy, when God sees fit that we are ready in God's timing.

Interestingly, the encouragement can be seen from two angles - one being as a discouragement in that that time may not come to us at all, and that reality is present in the back of the mind, but on a personal note, I have found it encouraging, because in my own life, I am more focused to get my own life sorted out, before I am given further responsibility to love and finance an extended family. I not only want a dear Christian wife, but I want kids too.

There is a time and place for such things, but be encouraged and make the best of your days of being single. I'm equally amused, by those who ARE married and juggling with work and kids, that they wish they were single with the freedom that we are blessed with. Either way, it is a blessing!

Jools

 

[Touma]

Ok, so it seems lately everytime I turn around, someone I know is getting married (or has recently gotten married). Often its people I met as singles. I was friends but never really pressed for a deeper relationship.

On one hand, I'm happy for them. On the other, I wonder about myself. As the years tick by and my personal window of opportunity gets smaller and smaller, I wonder "What did so-and-so see in someone else and not in me?"

Anyone else experience the same sort of feelings?

It is especially hard in Christian circles. All the people I knew back from college are now getting married, having babies, starting life, etc. And I am struggling to get on my feet. It is a very hard thing to deal with for me.

Grrr...why do so many christians have to get married so young? Putting pressure on the rest of us!

 

[MacFall]

Yep, it happens to me every few weeks it seems.

In fact, one of my best lady friends in high school, with whom I fell in love afterward, married a guy based on the fact that he was "exactly like [me] in pretty much every way". I never asked her why, then, she chose him and not me because I figured that either she would be unable to answer, or her answer would hurt too much. Now I wish I had. But then, I suspect it came down to looks. He was physically fit and I'm not. And given the choice between someone who is "just like me" except that he is also good looking, and me, of course I'm not going to win that contest. Nor do I think it would make sense for me to suspect otherwise, or to be bitter about it. It still stings though.

 

[Im_A]

Ok, so it seems lately everytime I turn around, someone I know is getting married (or has recently gotten married). Often its people I met as singles. I was friends but never really pressed for a deeper relationship.

On one hand, I'm happy for them. On the other, I wonder about myself. As the years tick by and my personal window of opportunity gets smaller and smaller, I wonder "What did so-and-so see in someone else and not in me?"

Anyone else experience the same sort of feelings?

Out of millions of people, we are always going to find times that people are getting married, divorced, maybe both at the same time...probably that at best.

Just a fact of life.

 

[Zoness]

Maybe I am bad for saying this but when someone tells me they are engaged or they get married they are functionally dead to me because its not like they have any more time for friends, they have a spouse now. Not that I expect 100% dedication from a married friend, the opposite in fact, that's why I consider them not a key part of my life.

 

[broken_one]

Maybe I am bad for saying this but when someone tells me they are engaged or they get married they are functionally dead to me because its not like they have any more time for friends, they have a spouse now. Not that I expect 100% dedication from a married friend, the opposite in fact, that's why I consider them not a key part of my life.

I know, man! It's so tough though losing all those friends....it's almost as if they, yeah, like died or something.

 

[Zoness]

I know, man! It's so tough though losing all those friends....it's almost as if they, yeah, like died or something.

More or less yeah, that's exactly how I feel.

 

[natsipoo]

I see it all the time. It doesn't help that I've also dealt with several unexpected deaths recently. Every now and then I think that for all I know this could be my last day on earth and I would have died without ever experiencing marriage and a family of my own in this life.
I'm happy for my friends but still...

 

[MehGuy]

Only had one friend who was married so far, eh I didn't care.

I'll probably be one of those guys in his late twenties who still hasn't found a special someone and ends up marrying a girl for the heck of it.

 

[waves16]

I know exactly what you mean! One of my closest friends just got engaged, and my other best friend had a baby. In fact, it seems every time I check my facebook all my friends are posting baby and wedding pictures. And I'm only 19!
I know I'm too young to get married, but it still feels like everybody is moving on with their lives while I'm stuck here!

 

[allykelly07]

I just want to encourage you guys with some verses that I have thought about a lot. In 1 corinthians Paul said that it is better not to marry, because a married person is fixed on how they can please their spouse, and an unmarried person, is fixed on pleasing the Lord. But if someone burns with passion,, it is better to be married.

It is hard sometimes, because I battle back and forth with being married, or not, but I have come to a point to where I would rather wait until God brings me someone that I know I am supposed to marry, and if that person never comes, then I know that I can do without. So I will walk in Christ either way, and seize every opportunity for the gospel. I want my eyes fixed on Christ, daily living by the spirit, so that if that time comes, I will know that he loves God and will help me along in Christ, rather than hinder.

 

[Ghazkhull]

eh, I do not intend to be rude, but you just bumped a 2 year old thread

 

[allykelly07]

eh, I do not intend to be rude, but you just bumped a 2 year old thread

Really? Haha thanks for letting me know! Well maybe it encouraged you at least? Lol

 

[Ghazkhull]

yeah, it was a lovely speech

even though I don't have much issues in the "need to get married now" department, my mindset is similar to yours, whenever it's God's will it shall be.

anyway Im out to sleep now

 

[allykelly07]

yeah, it was a lovely speech

even though I don't have much issues in the "need to get married now" department, my mindset is similar to yours, whenever it's God's will it shall be.

anyway Im out to sleep now

Ok cool! Goodnight!

 

[jess9450]

whoa, hello zombie thread it's amusing when these things come back out of nowhere...

For the OP, if he still cares , yes I have struggled with this. Much more recently than before. My entire family, extended members included, are all in relationships or are married. It made for a rather uncomfortable family Christmas gathering this year, that's for sure. I'm starting to notice couples around me sooo much more than before, and it just leaves me feeling depressed to be single. This month is apparently one of the most depressing of the year, and I'll be sure to keep a low profile around V-day if I'm still single