GT Loved Ones, Help.

[Thekla]

I'd totally surrendered this to God,

I feel like I should
be doing something, but not sure what.

think you just did

 

[chestertonrules]

Daughter informed me that son (who still lives home) has
a girl, and her name is Mary, and he's not mentioned it
to me cos "didnt feel like playing 20 questions".
That was mostly a joke, and imo he didnt tell me
because she's Catholic (I found out later).

I said, "Jay" (not his real name) One question sweety,
not twenty, what church does she go to?
He said St such and such.
I said, "what the @#$% were you thinking".
(Subtle and supportive wasnt i?)


He said, well she goes to "insert name of emergent
church here" sometimes too.


That was yesterday in the AM.
Yes, I know we have to let the kids
make their own choices.
My question is this:
Do I say something?
Is there anything I should,
as a caring parent, say to son?
Is it none of my bi'ness

Or isnt it even an unequal yoking
should it get serious?
(this kid dont date, and is a very
goal oriented person like a "Paul")

Catholics/Protestants etc. What would
you guys do or say in that situation?

Help only please, no judging k?

thanks,
sunlover

Well, that was how I ended up Catholic!!


I see this as a wonderful opportunity for him to find the fullness of the faith!

Pray about it. God won't lead you astray.

 

[Uphill Battle]

Well, that was how I ended up Catholic!!


I see this as a wonderful opportunity for him to find the fullness of the faith!

Pray about it. God won't lead you astray.

I find this to be a bit on the insensitive side.

you have a person, who accepts "A" and does not accept "B." they have some reservation about a loved one, who may leave "A" for "B" and is expressing that reservation. (not condemnation, reservation, there is a difference.)

you come on and say "yipee! you're loved one may leave "A" for "B"! it's great!

that's not the type of edification the OP is looking for, I'd gather.

reverse who is "A" and who is "B" and you may know what I'm getting at.

 

[tadoflamb]

I consider marrying a Catholic girl one of the best things that ever happened to me.

 

[Crazy Liz]

God bless you Thekla for not reading
between the lines.

And I agree, praise God if she's Christian,
Heck, who knows just because someone
goes to ANY church, that they love the Lord.

So that's great point.


I know that there are a few here who
are in this type of marriage, and seem
content with it. And I"m glad that my
kids are not predjudice, but I cant help
but see the problems that could arise.
(maybe because of so much argument
we see here at CF)
I was just curious to see how others
felt, if I was being overprotective,
or if this is a serious issue.

Love you,
sunlover

I haven't been in this thread from the beginning, but how about you get to know her before making any judgments?

 

[Crazy Liz]

Prior to me meeting and marrying my husband, I dated a Catholic very seriously. We talked about marriage, and I started counseling classes for my annulment, against my better judgment.

We were pretty serious. I was so torn, and my parents really didn't like it at all. Chris was a nice enough guy, but he was always trying to get me to become Catholic. The two times he came to church with me, we spent hours afterwards arguing about the content of the service, communion, etc. It finally came to a head where I realized I could not spend my life with this man, unequally yoked. And we were. We did not believe the same things. He believed me to be arrogant because I was confident of my salvation. I couldn't believe that he wasn't confident. He constantly belittled my church and told me that he didn't think he could ever say enough prayers to get me out of purgatory someday because of what church I belonged to.

When it was all said and over, my dad sat me down and explained to me all the different reasons he hadn't wanted me to date a Catholic, and he was absolutely right. In the end, I got my heart broken. My dad wished he had had the talk with me before, but I told him I wouldn't have listened, because I thought I knew what I was getting into. As it turned out, I didn't. Even after we broke up, heck, even after I starting dating my husband, Chris would call me and leave text messages and tell me how he needed me to become Catholic. He needed to know that my soul was safe...I considered taking a restraining order out on him because he would call twenty, sometimes fifty times a day.

This isn't about whether Catholics are better or Protestants. This is about understanding the dichotomy that truly exists between the two, and how that plays into a relationship. Shame on you who have found fault in Sunlover asking an honest question. Put yourself in her shoes. God forbid your child ever comes home and wants to date or marry a heretic...I'm sure your reactions wouldn't be as restrained as hers have been.

Praying for you, sunlover. I know this is difficult.

With all due respect, this guy was a control freak, and someone of any faith can be a control freak. Or not.

My niece just married a Catholic last summer. Her parents and grandparents are by far the most conservative fundamentalists in the family. I was quite surprised everyone seemed happy about it.

But they got to know him, and saw he was a great Christian and a good match for her.

Not every Catholic is a good match for every protestant. Heck, most protestants wouldn't be a good match for any given person.

 

[Markus6]

So the question is, do you agree "That we are justified by grace alone, through faith alone, because of Christ alone"?

If not our view of both justification and faith are substantially different.

This person disagrees with you:
"You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone."
Any guesses on the author?

 

[Rick Otto]

Daughter informed me that son (who still lives home) has
a girl, and her name is Mary, and he's not mentioned it
to me cos "didnt feel like playing 20 questions".
That was mostly a joke, and imo he didnt tell me
because she's Catholic (I found out later).

I said, "Jay" (not his real name) One question sweety,
not twenty, what church does she go to?
He said St such and such.
I said, "what the @#$% were you thinking".
(Subtle and supportive wasnt i?)


He said, well she goes to "insert name of emergent
church here" sometimes too.


That was yesterday in the AM.
Yes, I know we have to let the kids
make their own choices.
My question is this:
Do I say something?
Is there anything I should,
as a caring parent, say to son?
Is it none of my bi'ness

Or isnt it even an unequal yoking
should it get serious?
(this kid dont date, and is a very
goal oriented person like a "Paul")

Catholics/Protestants etc. What would
you guys do or say in that situation?

Help only please, no judging k?

thanks,
sunlover

He probably hasn't accepted the yoke you assume he wears any more than she is committed to real Catholicism.
Most catholics aren't fully committed to all that the magesterium preaches.
The worst thing you can do is smell like fear.

 

[catlover]

Daughter informed me that son (who still lives home) has
a girl, and her name is Mary, and he's not mentioned it
to me cos "didnt feel like playing 20 questions".
That was mostly a joke, and imo he didnt tell me
because she's Catholic (I found out later).

I said, "Jay" (not his real name) One question sweety,
not twenty, what church does she go to?
He said St such and such.
I said, "what the @#$% were you thinking".
(Subtle and supportive wasnt i?)


He said, well she goes to "insert name of emergent
church here" sometimes too.


That was yesterday in the AM.
Yes, I know we have to let the kids
make their own choices.
My question is this:
Do I say something?
Is there anything I should,
as a caring parent, say to son?
Is it none of my bi'ness

Or isnt it even an unequal yoking
should it get serious?
(this kid dont date, and is a very
goal oriented person like a "Paul")

Catholics/Protestants etc. What would
you guys do or say in that situation?

Help only please, no judging k?

thanks,
sunlover

Is the girl a nice girl? Is she responsible, kind, conscientious, into making the world a better place?

If so what is the problem? You are creating a problem that does not exist.

 

[£amb]

Is the girl a nice girl? Is she responsible, kind, conscientious, into making the world a better place?

If so what is the problem? You are creating a problem that does not exist.

For many, it is a problem. I do all the things you've listed above, but my mother-in-law absolutely hates me and makes no excuses for it. She's Catholic and I'm Protestant (as well as my husband). No matter how I try to have a relationship with her, she immediately starts berating me about what church I attend. My husband steps in to defend me and she'll back off for alittle bit. She has started this in front of my kids, and we had to make the hardest decision of our lives recently after visiting them....we can not visit them again. My kids are old enough to see what she is doing and they're afraid of her for their own reasons.

It's heart breaking. All I want is a relationship with her, but she doesn't. Our beliefs have split us and is destroying our relationship between us and them. I do not hate her at all, but can not understand why she cannot see me for what I am....someone who is serving God.

 

[catlover]

For many, it is a problem. I do all the things you've listed above, but my mother-in-law absolutely hates me and makes no excuses for it. She's Catholic and I'm Protestant (as well as my husband). No matter how I try to have a relationship with her, she immediately starts berating me about what church I attend. My husband steps in to defend me and she'll back off for alittle bit. She has started this in front of my kids, and we had to make the hardest decision of our lives recently after visiting them....we can not visit them again. My kids are old enough to see what she is doing and they're afraid of her for their own reasons.

It's heart breaking. All I want is a relationship with her, but she doesn't. Our beliefs have split us and is destroying our relationship between us and them. I do not hate her at all, but can not understand why she cannot see me for what I am....someone who is serving God.

Your mother in law is creating a problem as well. One that should not exist-look at the nastiness for the sake of religion. Honestly is this something Jesus would want for us to create strife and misery in His name?

 

[Rowan]

I apologize for my assumption way way way way back earlier. The language confused me.

This subject hasn't really left my mind since then. The only thing I have been able to come up with in dealing with inter-Christian strife is what has helped me personally in my relationships with others, Christian and non-Christian: submitting to Love and letting Him reign.

Vague, I know...but I don't presume to know how God will make this manifest for anyone else. To me it's been more about being slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to anger.

Praying for all families struggling with this...

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Your mother in law is creating a problem as well. One that should not exist-look at the nastiness for the sake of religion. Honestly is this something Jesus would want for us to create strife and misery in His name?

This is how it is on both sides. My folks weren't happy about me dating a Catholic, but they accepted it and didn't give me a hard time about it. My dad talked to me a lot about the issues that we would face.

I'm sure everyone would just love to have no issues come from two Christians dating. However, different doctrines can and do create problems.

The major one that I had while I was dating a Catholic was where would our children be baptized if we had any? I wanted my kids baptized in a Lutheran Church, he wanted them baptized in a Catholic church. What school would our children attend? I wanted them to attend a Lutheran school, he wanted them to attend a Catholic school.

I'm stubborn, so the best thing for me to do was not date a Catholic, but to date someone within my own faith, so that these issues weren't issues. So I married a WELS pastor. My spiritual life is much easier because I married someone who believes exactly as I do

I'm not saying that all inter-denomination relationships don't work, but saying that someone is creating problems where they don't exist is incorrect, because there are issues...and they can be big issues.

 

[mont974x4]

I wonder how the rc's here would feel if it was their son and if they would would really enjoy, or allow, him to be led by a protestant lady?

Just set aside the denominational issue for a moment and really consider the roles of men and women in godly relationships according to Scripture. Now consider the issue of OP in that light.

 

[Crazy Liz]

Huh?

 

[catlover]

This is how it is on both sides. My folks weren't happy about me dating a Catholic, but they accepted it and didn't give me a hard time about it. My dad talked to me a lot about the issues that we would face.

I'm sure everyone would just love to have no issues come from two Christians dating. However, different doctrines can and do create problems.

The major one that I had while I was dating a Catholic was where would our children be baptized if we had any? I wanted my kids baptized in a Lutheran Church, he wanted them baptized in a Catholic church. What school would our children attend? I wanted them to attend a Lutheran school, he wanted them to attend a Catholic school.

I'm stubborn, so the best thing for me to do was not date a Catholic, but to date someone within my own faith, so that these issues weren't issues. So I married a WELS pastor. My spiritual life is much easier because I married someone who believes exactly as I do

I'm not saying that all inter-denomination relationships don't work, but saying that someone is creating problems where they don't exist is incorrect, because there are issues...and they can be big issues.

If my children chose a mate I would not really worry about what religion my future DIL or SIL came from as long as they follow The Golden Rule.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

The Golden Rule?!

 

[PreachersWife2004]

All the experiences I have had where a Catholic wanted to date a protestant the protestant family was concerned but not overly worried while the Catholic families had hissy fits. My ex's family did not like me one bit, and they took every opportunity to tell me as such. My ex said this would stop once I became Catholic.

And, given what else I've experienced with Catholics dating protestants, I can't really blame them. In ALL cases where they ended up getting married, the Catholic was the one who switched to the other faith.

And when you think about the divorce rate in this country to begin with, why put added stress into an already stressful relationship?

I dated other people who weren't WELS and were other denoms like Presbyterian and Methodist. I was engaged to a man who was a Pentecostal/AOG mix of something. We had doctrinal issues, and we were young and we really thought we'd be able to work through them. We probably would've been faced with some very similar issues as a C & P couple would.

So this actually could be argued beyond the C & P perspective of things.

I wonder how the rc's here would feel if it was their son and if they would would really enjoy, or allow, him to be led by a protestant lady?

Just set aside the denominational issue for a moment and really consider the roles of men and women in godly relationships according to Scripture. Now consider the issue of OP in that light.

 

[Crazy Liz]

Actually, studies show couples do not have to share the same BELIEFS to have a successful marriage. What is important to compatibility is sharing the same VALUES.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

And generally, those values come from our beliefs.

But you are correct, marriages don't necessarily have to share the same beliefs to be successful. There are more than a couple of mixed marriages in my family that are hugely successful, mainly because they are able to look at the common denominator, which would be Christ. But this has also meant that one or more people have had to compromise their beliefs...so while successful, the marriages are still not exactly perfect.

Actually, studies show couples do not have to share the same BELIEFS to have a successful marriage. What is important to compatibility is sharing the same VALUES.