Give "Bad" Advice (2)

Girder of Loins · Apr 14, 2013

I don't know for the main course, but dessert should be some cow pies. Your local farmer should have a few to spare, so no cost!

I have an argumentative essay due on Tuesday. What should be my topic?

lucypevensie · Apr 15, 2013

Instead of writing an essay, on the day the assignment is due and everyone is handing in their papers, walk to the front of the class and argue with your teacher about why you shouldn't have to do such a dumb assignment. Not only will your teacher be impressed that you were so creative, s/he will probably think twice before giving you other assignments that are equally as dumb.

My kids are having friends sleep over. What's a good way to entertain them should they get a little bored?

imoss · Apr 17, 2013

What I love to do is teach them all how to play shot gun chicken! tons of fun! and kills two birds with one stone, teaches them fire arms and also if you are lucky one may get hit and reduce the number of children you have to provide night snacks for.

my husband is working out of town and a few local women who like to partake in mid morning refreshments hang around the ladder cat calling him. What should i do. (this cracks me up btw)

lucypevensie · Apr 19, 2013

Sic a pack of dobermans on them.

I am so tired of the cold and rain, and it's starting to get me down. Ideas for improving my mood?

Matthew-59 · Apr 19, 2013

Stick your head in the freezer for twenty minutes and then in the oven for thirty minutes. This should improve your mood slightly, but for a real mood booster, eat ten gallons of chocolate chip ice cream with two gallons of chocolate syrup poured over it. How's your mood now?

I need to fill my car's gas tank and I don't have enough money. What should I do?

lucypevensie · Apr 20, 2013

Cut rectangular pieces of paper the size of dollar bills and draw pictures of George washington on all of them. Your car will not even notice the difference.

I want to make a beaded necklace and am looking for some creative ideas. You have any?

Girder of Loins · Apr 22, 2013

lucypevensie said:
I want to make a beaded necklace and am looking for some creative ideas. You have any?

Well, on Etsy, someone is using dead mouse heads as hair decorations. I don't see why you couldn't use some on your necklace! It'd be a great conversation starter, I'm sure.

So I took that advice on arguing with my teacher, and now I have no argumentative class. What should I take instead?

P.S: I didn't....

lucypevensie · Apr 23, 2013

You hear people joking about an Underwater Basket Weaving class. Well, that's nothing to joke about. It happens to be a very useful skill. I think you should take that class.

I can't find my recipe for chili and am afraid using another one will yield unpleasant results.

MoneyGuy · Apr 24, 2013

lucypevensie said:
I can't find my recipe for chili and am afraid using another one will yield unpleasant results.

Everyone has stray cats roaming through their yard. Cat trap + gloves + tranquilizer + meat grinder = awesome chili. Tip: leave in the cat hairs. (source: recipes.com)

What kind of computer should I buy?

lucypevensie · Apr 24, 2013

Who needs a computer any more? Just use your smart phone.

How can I make folding the laundry more fun?

MoneyGuy · Apr 27, 2013

lucypevensie said:
How can I make folding the laundry more fun?

The weather is nice so do your ironing in the backyard naked. Be sure to alert the local newspaper. They may run your photo on the front page.

At church, if there is a lively song, shall I clap to the beat like this or do something else?

Lioness901 · Apr 27, 2013

No dance like David literally just take ya clothes off while dancing David did it

How do I bathe my cat??

lucypevensie · Apr 27, 2013

First sedate your cat. Any pill in your medicine cabinet should work. If you have a hard time waking the cat up afterwards you will have to phone your vet for an emergency visit. But hey, it's still easier than bathing a fully conscious cat.

We have tons of sticks and branches all over the back yard. I don't want to deal with them.

forest flower · Apr 30, 2013

Donate the to fetching sticks dog association.

How can I walk faster?

lucypevensie · Apr 30, 2013

Have a friend who walks faster than you walk in front of you dangling a donut on a string from a stick. Try to catch the donut. I don't know about you, but I need motivation like this!

I'm meeting someone tomorrow that I've never seen in person. How will I know who to look for?

forest flower · May 1, 2013

Get them to wear a grim reaper mask. No mistaken identity this time of year.

What could I do if a sinkhole opened up under me?

lucypevensie · May 1, 2013

Always stash a paper clip and a piece of string in your pocket. I'm not sure exactly what you'd do with them in such a moment of crisis, but we can always hope your adrenalin kicks you into high gear and you can think of something.

Any way I can get my dog to act more like a cat?

forest flower · May 1, 2013

Why do you want that? Anyway feed him cat food, that might do it.

How can I type more efficiently?

Lioness901 · May 1, 2013

Put on a blindfold and type that always helps.

How do I properly color my hair??

forest flower · May 1, 2013

Dye it black first.

How can I kill a rainbow?

Give "Bad" Advice (2)

Future Math Teacher

Not drinking the kool-aid

Newbie

Not drinking the kool-aid

Space Invader

Not drinking the kool-aid

Future Math Teacher

Not drinking the kool-aid

Newbie

Not drinking the kool-aid

Newbie

Lioness901

Guest

Not drinking the kool-aid

His beloved daughter

Not drinking the kool-aid

His beloved daughter

Not drinking the kool-aid

His beloved daughter

Lioness901

Guest

His beloved daughter

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