Give "Bad" Advice (2)

[forest flower]

Question?

 

[star in the sky]

(Sorry , fair point)Should I go in for a swim or not?

 

[forest flower]

Defiantly go in for a swim, the sharks will give you adrenaline causing you to swim faster and burn more calories.

How can I get motivated to write my report?

 

[star in the sky]

You'll certainly be motivated by this idea: slows steps are the key , write one word on your first page by doing cartwheels and writing that one word simultaneously (whilst doing cartwheels) . Write one word per hour.

What oven temperature is needed for cooking pizza?

 

[forest flower]

3 degrees Celsius is perfect, no chance of burning and it'll be done in no time.

What's a good way to get over a cold?

 

[star in the sky]

Hopefully if you get heaps of Alaskan Salmon and slap yourself on the check - were talking all out whack!! kabam- that kind of force salmon oil should cure the cold - its the slapping motion or major WHACK will do the trick.

I just got fresh chilli in my eye should I rub it?

 

[forest flower]

Of course, that's the only way to stop chilli hurting. (seriously washing it out with milk should help.)

How can I improve my memory?

 

[star in the sky]

No you cant not at all just stare at brick walls that's all you can do. (That's kind of you it wasn't true though just making it up for game sake)

HOw do I wash the car in three minutes?

 

[forest flower]

Drive it into the ocean.

How can I type faster?

 

[GodsGirlToday61]

You didn't say accurately, just faster, so with that in mind... Use your knuckles ONLY, and make sure, when you make mistakes, to use a pencil eraser, then continue knuckle-typing I mean, hey, if a gorilla can learn American Sign Language to get his banana, I see no reason you cannot gorilla-knuckle-speed-type.

If rinsing my hair in beer will make it shinier (I tried it once, it worked!) then should I drink shampoo for energy, and if so, do you have a particular brand you think is best?

 

[lucypevensie]

That makes so much sense! If I were you I'd drink prescription Rogain shampoo. If it makes your hair grow at top speed, imagine what it could do for the rest of your body!

 

[forest flower]

Question

 

[lucypevensie]

Oh, whoops!

My kid is stressed about school. How can I help?

 

[star in the sky]

Tell them - him or her by eating 1000 oranges a day will give them alertness like never before theyll think glowing orange eyes are cool so much so theyll have lazer eyes that can cut through any unwanted paper such as disliked math questions. And theyll never have to sleep again

My car wont start and I need to drive to the mall , what do I do?

 

[jsimms615]

crack some eggs and put them in the gas tank. That will help get it started.


I am really tired of school and ready to graduate. What should I do?

 

[GodsGirlToday61]

Oh, for god's sake, no matter what else, do not touch base with anyone concerned with that school, not even to say why not! Go drink a few caffeine-laced sodas, eat a lot of store-bought white bread, put on your warmest winter robe and go to sleep!

And remember the best things in life are free, like this stellar advice!

My lease specifically states NO PETS but I want an iguana and I saw a sign 'Free iguanas', should I get just one or another to keep it company--before or after I tell my landlady what I'm gonna do?

 

[lucypevensie]

An iguana is not really a traditional animal to have for a pet, so I'd say take as many as you want. If your landlady give you a hard time about it, just tell her you thought the rule in the lease means No Traditional Pets like cats and dogs allowed. She wasn't specific enough in the lease, so it's her problem.

My son wants to go to a football game tonight, but Grandma's inviting everyone over for dinner tonight as well. Wanting to be a good parent, what should I tell him?

 

[GodsGirlToday61]

Old people are no fun and football games are. Grandma won't be around much longer, phew!, so go to the game, we are meant to be happy! He'll cheer up right away because when it's your turn to get old, he'll head for CyberSpace or wherever you won't be, and you will know you taught him a lesson to last a lifetime!!!

(This bit of bad advice might be OTT even for this kind of Thread :o )

I am allergic to prednisone which is how my new primary care physician wants to treat my auto-immune diseases.

Should I tell him about the allergy or am I being a baby about 'gargoyle face', 'gaining so much weight I can't walk downstairs-- have to come down on my butt', 'break out in hives', and 'otherwise, feel really awful until I stop taking the medication'; you know, should I buck up and shut up or fess up?

 

[lucypevensie]

Your Pcp is just trying to benefit financially from the drug company for writing you a prescription for prednisone. I'd not bother to take any advice from that doctor. Go down to your nearest walmart and buy a bottle of aspirin. No prescription necessary.

I shouldn't eat so late at night, but my stomach is growwwwling! What am I supposed to do?

 

[GodsGirlToday61]

Reset your alarm clock to 4P.M. which is a good time to quit eating, and remember:

It's only as late as you want it to be!

My hair is so straight that a hair stylist said she would have to break the shaft twice to get it to perm but I HAVE to have a change. Any way you know of to repair broken hair?