I have had a horrible problem on my chest for over 3 months now..and i need to get it off my chest...its a bit late because today everything went wrong in my relationship - even though it was my own fault i feel so bad because of everyone i have hurt and affected...
I guess starting from the start would make things alot easier to explain my situation;
Around 3 months ago after a relationship with my girlfreind Ashleigh lasting 4 months before that, we had a sports carnival everything was going fine until about lunch time...i felt a sudden wave of..i dunno what...but i was attracted to her best freind - and unfortunately i had been given her email address the day before in art class and contacted her the next night (the beginning of the long weekend)...
That long weekend me and my gf's bestfriend chatted on msn for over 24 hours total over three days
and i think we got really close...uncomfortably close for me being taken by her best freind.
Anyways 2 months later we continued to chat on msn and i let slip that " I loved her" and thats what began the whole problem...we got even closer and i think i began to neglect being with my girlfreind...we started to not get along anymore...we had less and less in common and everything began to come between us.
And finally on the holidays i did something which completely destroyed my relationship, i rode 40 k's on bike to go see her cause she lives out of town and we chatted and got along alot better than my girlfreind and i ever did and i kissed her completely out of impulse..i dont even know why i did it, it just happened
On the friday before school went back she came into town and we walked around town holding hands...and i probably deserved this...but two of the biggest mouths in the school saw.
On the tuesday after ANZAC day we went back to school...and luckily and at the same unluckily my girlfriend didnt know...but everyone else did
The two biggest mouths in the school came up and told me that they really care for my girlfriend and dont want her to get hurt by finding out from someone else that i had been seeing her best freind behind her back.
So i told her everything after school and the answer wasnt the best (but who could have expected anything else?) she was completely heart broken and i think i destroyed her best freinds freindship. They hate each other now..and its all my fault
And now (today) neither would even speak to me or even look at me...and i cared so much about them and destroyed everything with sheer unintelligence. For the first time in 6 years i cried...i had built up so much inside and didnt want to show weakness that this just toppled the tower of sadness...i dont know what to do...nor do i think anything is going to improve anytime soon. I dont blame them for hating me either.
I need help, i dont know what to do and its all eating me up...please pray for me i need all the help i can get...especially now
Martyn
I guess starting from the start would make things alot easier to explain my situation;
Around 3 months ago after a relationship with my girlfreind Ashleigh lasting 4 months before that, we had a sports carnival everything was going fine until about lunch time...i felt a sudden wave of..i dunno what...but i was attracted to her best freind - and unfortunately i had been given her email address the day before in art class and contacted her the next night (the beginning of the long weekend)...
That long weekend me and my gf's bestfriend chatted on msn for over 24 hours total over three days
Anyways 2 months later we continued to chat on msn and i let slip that " I loved her" and thats what began the whole problem...we got even closer and i think i began to neglect being with my girlfreind...we started to not get along anymore...we had less and less in common and everything began to come between us.
And finally on the holidays i did something which completely destroyed my relationship, i rode 40 k's on bike to go see her cause she lives out of town and we chatted and got along alot better than my girlfreind and i ever did and i kissed her completely out of impulse..i dont even know why i did it, it just happened
On the friday before school went back she came into town and we walked around town holding hands...and i probably deserved this...but two of the biggest mouths in the school saw.
On the tuesday after ANZAC day we went back to school...and luckily and at the same unluckily my girlfriend didnt know...but everyone else did
The two biggest mouths in the school came up and told me that they really care for my girlfriend and dont want her to get hurt by finding out from someone else that i had been seeing her best freind behind her back.So i told her everything after school and the answer wasnt the best (but who could have expected anything else?) she was completely heart broken and i think i destroyed her best freinds freindship. They hate each other now..and its all my fault
And now (today) neither would even speak to me or even look at me...and i cared so much about them and destroyed everything with sheer unintelligence. For the first time in 6 years i cried...i had built up so much inside and didnt want to show weakness that this just toppled the tower of sadness...i dont know what to do...nor do i think anything is going to improve anytime soon. I dont blame them for hating me either.
I need help, i dont know what to do and its all eating me up...please pray for me i need all the help i can get...especially now
Martyn