It reminds me A LOT of what happened when I was music director at a church several years ago. This church was not in the denomination to which I belong (Lutheran), and I accepted the position because I'm a trained musician and church music positions are not easy to come by in the area where I live.
In this case, the church was fun (emphasis on "fun"), but with next to no spiritual content. As music director, I select hymns to go with the message each week; but all the hymns I selected which contained the word "Jesus" in the lyrics were rejected. Why? To quote the minister: "Because "Jesus" will make people in the congregation feel guilty."
Use of the Psalms was discarded. Use of the Gospels was discarded. Use of any part of the Old and New Testament was discarded. So what's left? "Fun."
Well, the services were "fun" -- I guess, even though there was an 80 to 90 percent turnover in the congregation every six months or so; so the minister decided what was really needed was a big, new, superchurch and thus began a "fun-raising" campaign to build a new, $8 million church complex. Through donations, "fun-raising" and pledges, the most the most the church was able to collect was $1 million.
In Galatians, Paul derides the Galatians for reverting to "a new gospel" of justification by the Law, instead of justification by grace through faith in Christ -- and in doing so, had voided Christ's redeeming work for them. The church I was attending had also reverted to "a new gospel" -- in this case, a pyramid scheme called
Avatar which brings you spiritual enlightenment for only $16,000 (of which the minister received a quarter cut of the fee). The minister was busy recruiting members of the congregation to become "spiritually civilized".
During this time (and here's the direct link to your story), members were PROHIBITED from attending other churches, either in the same denomination or other denominations; and we were told we would fired and/or excommunicated if we did attend other churches. I had become angry enough that I openly defied the minister -- I began attending another church, and partaking of the Eucharist on Sunday evenings, as well as Tuesday and Friday at noon! I fully appreciate the symbolism of "living water" in John 4, because by this point I was spiritually dehydrated AND starving, and actually felt rejuvenated when I partook of the Eucharist! When the minister took a Sunday off, I led the prayers -- and began deliberately including selections from the Psalms, Ecclesiastes, the Gospels, and specific sections of Romans, Galatians, and Ephesians.
Word got back to the minister about what I had been doing (although attendance actually INCREASED the Sundays after I read from Scripture), so the minister began a series of "messages" from the pulpit which included verbal attacks which were aimed at me. Not that it really mattered -- I had tuned the minister out during the messages by bringing the "Jumble" puzzle from the newspaper with me to the services, and solving the puzzle during the message!
Everything came to a head when I had gone to speak to the church treasurer about a problem, and noticed several invoices around the treasurer's computer for a Caribbean cruise AND transfers from the church's general funds to cover these invoices! I confronted the minister on the embezzlement, and was promptly fired -- and banished -- on the spot. However, I had already mailed 35 letters to members of the congregation and the church council regarding what I had seen, and why I was being asked to leave.
Well -- a Catholic friend who was instrumental in helping me make the decision to confront the minister also told me about an experience where he had left a job under similar circumstances, and God helped him through that period of unemployment. Granted, finances were a little tight for awhile, but I got through it -- and two months later I ended up at the Lutheran church where I've been for six years!
As for that other church -- attendance plummeted from around 700 to down below 80 before the congregation revolted (thank God!) and removed the minister and the church council. They've gotten another minister, and I hear attendance has recovered back to about 500 people each Sunday -- and I'm very happy for them. Their services are now broadcast on cable-access TV: I watched a few services and noted (happily) that the minister uses Scripture. (I like the way the new minister uses Scripture -- as a set of tools for US to use, instead of being tools used to condemn others.)
How this relates to you and your wife's case: that minister used spiritual and economic blackmail against you (either you come back to "the fold" or the wife loses her job). To me, that kind of control game used by the power in authority (the minister) has the all the hallmarks of a cult -- and there are Christian churches which behave very much like cults.
The fact that your wife supports you in your decision, and did NOT pressure you to return to her church tells me that she likely saw what was going on, as well. Granted, these are not great times to be looking for a job; but as I learned from my Catholic friend, God DOES provide and I think God did both of you a very great favor by getting you out of that sick church!
God my most important one? Is this just plain selfishness?
